I'm alive, if that means anything
I don't plan on dying soon
though anything could happen
from now, to noon

in a week I might be dead
and you wouldn't have a clue
anything could happen
to me, to you

Through pouring rain
And winds that howl
She begs of him to, sit a while
The two lay back, relaxing in tune
Feeling the chill in the air
of the crisp early June
That's the life, she whispers
He can see goosebumps,
rising on her chest
His own heart quickens
As her hand slips into his
It's wet -- but what isn't?
It's warm, an unexpected blessing
She feels nothing, save for him
He feels cold, but it's worth it

-

and so even after
the sun goes down
and the stars
out shine the moon,
I'll still love you

*I'll still love you

And under the guise of connection, lonely are the addicted.

like the wind you blew gently
lightly caressing my cheek as you go
like the tree I stood ready
my roots planted firmly below
but a simple wind you are not
and soon your storms did show
you were my favorite distraction
leaving everything else unknown

I feel unwelcome in my own home
and that's her at her best

I got it
I finally understand
it was never you that I wanted
but instead
the drama that you presented
some would even call it a plot conflict
You see, I'm a writer
I see the world through different eyes
eyes that sometimes aren't mine
so sometimes
my mind is taken over
and my thoughts, they stray

I'm a hopeless romantic
but that doesn't equate
I've never before been so afraid
of my own self
of the words that could come out
because I understand,
and now I have to learn to separate
the who I am from the who I create
it's exhausting being me every single day
the fantasies pop up and leave me dismayed
always in a sour mood, unsure of who I am
of the choices I've made

a line has been drawn and I'm sticking too it
I know that these thoughts aren't me, but lighter fluid
and it's me that holds the power
the lighter only a tool
passion is fire
my inspiration is crude

happy birthday to me
and everyone else who took their first breathe today
we're the chosen ones

as long as the flames of passion burn on,
the walls of ice will melt
though once the ice is melted,
the flames will go out
it's a cold hot love -- one felt in the heart
it'll pull and tear at you until it rips you apart

I think I need a therapist
someone with experience
I feel like an experiment

Where did you go
Where did you go
Where did you run to

I can't swim and
I'm drownin'
I'm drownin' beneath you

i'm not a ****
i'm an introvert
and i say **** a lot

I'm a sinner
my pleasure derived
from torturing those
that are barely alive

can I honestly
clear consciously
consider preforming
such a loathsome act?

the answer's 'no'
once was enough so
I'll shove the thoughts
**back, back, back

don't tempt me or tease me
I give in too easy

alone I can breath freely
at peace -- but not really

hes the one I want to come home to, simply seeing his smile brightens my darkest days -- a hopeless dream I can't erase

She inspires me to raise my voice,
and let myself be heard

She inspires me to stand my ground,
to find my own place in this world

She inspires me to chase my dreams,
and never be deterred

She inspires me for every day,
she's as free as any bird

A childish exit, aren't we too old for this ****?
You should have known me better that this!
Why can't you see the pain lying under the surface?
-- or are you just choosing to ignore it?

-
I wonder now, what would they say?
If any of them knew, found out today?
She might try to talk, while she lets it go,
He might tell him, and he'll definitely blow,
She'll pry and pry, and he might ask why,
And in the end, I may have to die.

I haven't written in a while and my pen hand is itching
to get to work and create something forbidden
but without unreserved and raw inspiration
nothing can occur, so it goes without saying
would you mind if I asked you to raise your shirt?