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Apr 2021 · 934
take one for the team.
lillie Apr 2021
you keep being told
that you are
worthy of love,
but you keep
on refusing
what you deserve
because all that
you've ever known
is pain.

and always so lost,
you don't even know
if shedding your
years of tears
is worth spilling
onto the floor.

inflicting pain on your own,
before anyone else does.
Mar 2021 · 227
on the edge.
lillie Mar 2021
no matter how much
i try to keep
holding on,
change my ways,
and look in the
******* mirror
that i hate so much,
i just can't see
a different
kind of me.

crying myself
to the temporary
peace of slumber,
sometimes i wish
it would last
forever and ever.

don't you get
too close,
for i lose all
common sense
when i no longer
see the light.

i'm sorry.
i've hit rock bottom.
Jan 2021 · 427
lillie Jan 2021
you lurk within
and stay between
the things
that i say
and even
the things
that i do.

you show up
i hold my standards
way too high
for others
yet give excuses
for when i
fail in the eyes
of the world.

you say that
you protect me
from the dangers,
but i say
that you're a child
who has been hurt
over and over
that you have
built walls
and a throne
that is false.

the darkness
is what we humans
tend to fear,
yet it an aspect
that lies within
every each and one
of us,
for we are all
souls craving
everything material
but nothing
"shadow work is the path of the heart warrior." - carl jung
Nov 2020 · 201
lillie Nov 2020
i just don't know
how to get
other people
to listen to me
in return.

i give them
all my time,
all my love,
all my attention,
yet it just
feels like
i don't get
the same way

i need
a listening ear
and a shoulder
to cry on, too,
you know?

help me.
shadow work.
Nov 2020 · 129
lillie Nov 2020
is something
we know
that must be
done fairly
and given
an unbiased

he inscribed onto
the scrolls,
every action
that affects
the history that
we make,
for lessons
to be learnt.

the truth will always
have its way
of unfolding among
the people
Dedicated to one of my gods, Thoth, Egyptian god of writing. ♡
Nov 2020 · 434
lillie Nov 2020
she watches over
those who
plan carefully
and strategically
for the battle
that they
are about to
face within
and about.

overseer of
those pursuing
wit, and wisdom
scattered among
books or
in your everyday

a goddess of
thorough thinking who
has always been
enabling victory
now influences the worthy
Dedicated to my goddess, Pallas Athena, goddess of wisdom and war. ♡
Nov 2020 · 192
lillie Nov 2020
warmth and
kindness is
in the flames
that keep you
from tripping
in the dark.

it can protect
as well as
keep you
away from
being harmed.

her loving and
everlasting glow
shall be
touching to those
invited to stay
at a place called home.
Dedicated to my Matron, Hestia, goddess of the hearth ♡
Nov 2020 · 223
lillie Nov 2020
it was on
this very day,
that one
among eight
shining stars
was allowed
to grace
upon the

a soul
whose passion
lies heavily
on music
and the arts.

they truly are
a beautiful,
loving, and
kind sun drop.

ups and
they've been
it all.
for kim hongjoong. ♡ // thanks again, apollo! uvu
Oct 2020 · 246
a hundred days.
lillie Oct 2020
all the same,
no matter
how much
time passed
us by,
my love for you
will always
stay the same
even after
a hundred days
of pouring rain.

ups and downs,
twists and turns,
my heart will
never stop
to yearn.

"I won't give up on us. Even if the skies get rough." // Thanks again for the help, Apollo!
Oct 2020 · 170
lillie Oct 2020
step up
your *******

i can see
through the
that you
hide inside
of your heart.

don't you dare
get mad
at me,
for your envy
is as ugly
as your
egoistic bruise.

i won't
hesitate to
switch things up,
you underground,
with me
up above.
Inspired by Ariana Grande's "Positions."
Oct 2020 · 260
the reason.
lillie Oct 2020
you say that
you aren't
perfect or
maybe even
not enough
for me.

but i will
tell you
you are
the reason
why i can
find hope
in every
single day
i wake up to.

you are
my Heather.
Inspired by Conan Grey's "Heather". Wrote this for 19981107. I hope you like it. ♡ // Thanks, Apollo!
Jul 2020 · 209
you *were* good to me
lillie Jul 2020
or the
which do
i really
even miss?

my heart,
it aches
for it
it once received

yet it knows
that you
took it
for granted

i conclude,
i only miss
the memories
i made with you
you changed
Inspired by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler's "you were good to me." and personal experiences.
Jul 2020 · 182
lillie Jul 2020
indie music
out loud
from my

cold draft
of wind
coming from
the window

my little
playing with
bouncy ball

i guess
the details
are the
most beautiful
Maybe I'm falling in love with living again.
May 2020 · 173
lillie May 2020
people always
"how was

or maybe,
"how was
work today?"

why is it not,
"how are
you doing?"

that's more
rather than
And people wonder why some don't open up to them.
Jan 2020 · 194
eye of the lense
lillie Jan 2020
it's not that
the camera
can't see
your beauty

it's the fact
that it cannot
fully grasp
that you
are such
a beautiful
and out
kuvankaunis - wanting to take a picture of a person because they're so breathtakingly ethereal
Jan 2020 · 679
lillie Jan 2020
your disheveled yet
soft hair that's been
run through
and through
with my hands

your chest
that heaves
in breaths in a
way to
calm down
the leftover

your eyes
that look at me
with such affection

your lips
on which
i placed
countless kisses
all over

our hands
entwined ever
so loosely
yet stays
as it craves
the other's

you're so
inspired by rupi kaur's "milk and honey" / "the loving" section
Jan 2020 · 155
hotel del luna
lillie Jan 2020
the soul
does not
rest comfortably
they have completed
their goals
part with a loved

guest house
of the
take care
of the one
who departed
from me
who i
for my late grandmothet
who passed away
when 2019 slipped
and 2020 came
Dec 2019 · 249
lillie Dec 2019
in my room,
phone in hand,
all over
the *******

then clicking
the go
to put out
is in my mind
at this
very moment
to the world

what the hell
it'll be
(i guess)
when i finally
some sleep
Dec 2019 · 280
lillie Dec 2019
in the midst
of it all
despite the
being of
toxic ground

a flower
found its way
to bloom
after plentiful

i am
that flower
Nov 2019 · 299
lillie Nov 2019
the concept
of an afterlife
only for
the most
holy of holies
is what scares
the most.

what if
i've been
my whole life,
but one part
of my heart
makes my

so what if
i'm gay?

at least
i'm not
as immoral
and hypocritic
"without losing a piece of me, how do i get to heaven? without changing a part of me, how do i get to heaven...?" - heaven, troye sivan
Sep 2019 · 225
lillie Sep 2019
of mind,
no longer

is the will to
give all
of my

nor the
time to
how to
let it

i'm just
and i'm on the verge
of a mental breakdown
Aug 2019 · 286
lillie Aug 2019
i see not
my beauty
but the ugliness
and the negativity
that the world
has filled
in me.
It's amusing how a mere reflection of me speaks louder than both my words and actions.
Jun 2019 · 307
lillie Jun 2019
it's a mess of
our hair strands
being tangled
and our breaths being
matched by its

the closeness
of our lips
yearning to
feel the other's

our hands
being entwined
like puzzle pieces
that were meant
to be

oh, how lucky
i am
to be me
and how unlucky i was after that heartbreak.
Jun 2019 · 244
lillie Jun 2019
the aroma
of the coffee
was not what
kept me distracted.

nor was it
the loud voices
buzzing all
around me.

the people
talking about
how their day
that was not it

it was you,
the unique presence
of your loving soul
that sat across
from my chair
that made me feel
at home
amongst strangers.
dedicated to: my feelings of unrequited love
May 2019 · 797
long distances
lillie May 2019
i long to be
more than just
the person that looks
at the screen
to keep in touch
with what you're doing

you say that
you're just
a click away
but it feels
more lonely
without you
actually here

the photos that
you send of you
from somewhere
miles away is
somewhat comforting
for my aching heart

but can you
just stay here?
stay by my side

the bed's just
a reminder of
an empty space
and it hurts
to see it
"hearts will still beat for the ones it loves, even if they're far apart from the one they adore, right?"
May 2019 · 501
lillie May 2019
the cold, breeze
of the wind
that made your
hair become
a playful mess

the smile
from your lips
that showed
felt within

your clothes
hugging your
strong, tall
yet huggable

all these
of you
that i came
to love

i took it
in a snap,
in the form
of a pictureー

a tangible memory,
frozen in time
"oh baby, i just wanna see that twilight. wanna see that with you."
May 2019 · 354
in need of: mending
lillie May 2019
what has once broken the heart
into pieces that were dreadfully

can no longer be pieced together
by the five lettered word
that i waited to hear from you
from so long
"--she was taken for granted by her lover's own free will and they had the foolish courage to apologise about it."
Apr 2019 · 269
lillie Apr 2019
can you see
these scars
that have embedded
itself upon
my forever-
aching heart?

i look at
the mirror
and always
see someone
who i no
longer know.

i can't
get back
what i lostー
a genuine,
loving smile;
and time that was
wasted in
false hopes.

the pain that
i will always
feel everyday
can only be fixed
by these
20190426 // "ーAnd it just so happened that I no longer knew who was being reflected in the mirror, that I smashed the glass then saw my true form."
Jan 2019 · 306
lillie Jan 2019
who stands afar from me,
shines even brighter
than the rays at sea

far apart,
still, i adore you,
and i love you

you don't even
know me

but that's
because you're
out of my reach

i just long
to hold
your hand and say
"thank you for everything"
"You're the best thing that happened to me."
Oct 2018 · 373
lillie Oct 2018
past in a glaze,
   a veil of haze,
   cannot reminisce,
   lost time with
Inspired from the visual novel of The Arcana.
Oct 2018 · 539
lillie Oct 2018
to feel is to
be human

to be human
is to live

and to live
is to go through life
its challenges
the ups and downs

the silhoutte
of a roller coaster
which either
makes you fret or bet

yet i am
i am tired
of it all

feeling aches
in my heart
from memories
of neglect

what a catatonic
person i am
to even still feel
such an outburst

all at once
One in a million of my breakdowns.
Sep 2018 · 699
lillie Sep 2018
in a simple nightgown
in cotton pyjamas

nearing dusk,
as they laughed
while holding
the others hand

bare feet brushing
along the
soft bristles
of the rug

the radio
softly playing
a tune of

what a time
to be alive
Based on "Dance to This" by Troye Sivan and Ariana Grande.
Sep 2018 · 569
à couper le souffle
lillie Sep 2018
looking as lovely,
as a blossom
in the midst of Spring.

i see no haste
you are not of
an amiable ambience.

your eyes gaze and
speak of a million lies
you've heard
yet withheld.

fastened onto a
seat of comfort;
yet so tense
and susceptible.
Based on Juan Luna's painting of "Parisian Life."
Aug 2018 · 523
last shards of hope
lillie Aug 2018
Oh, Rizal, hear our plea
For in our country's reality
The corrupt grow more powerful
As the elders become boastful

Pinned down condescendingly
By others buzzing like bees
With this ignorance that doesn't die
We feel that we can only try

But we will fight even as we cry
Our voices put down, may it never be pried
Away from the truth, we are shied
Now await our pent-up battle cry

We will march along the over-trodden streets
Along with the sound of where our hearts beat
For justice and for fairness
We bear your wish with gladness
Response poem to Jose Rizal's "A la Juventud Filipina" written in the Classic Style.
Apr 2018 · 666
lillie Apr 2018
she spreads goodness
in a way that
not everyone could
see her for
what she truly is.

but she is hidden
behind the darkness
of the night sky
and the clock's
busy, ticking hands.

taken for granted
during both the
breaking dawn and
dusk of day.

yet she still does not mind.
"...I am that 11:11."
Oct 2017 · 554
tao lang po ako, 'nay
lillie Oct 2017
"Anak, bakit ayaw mo ba ngumiti sa mga larawan? Mahal ba ang presyo ng ngiti mo?!"

Opo, nay, ang sabi ko lamang sa loob ng kaisipan ko. Kasing mahal ng halaga ng abuso na ginawa mo sa damdamin ko.
Sep 2017 · 538
caffeinated silence
lillie Sep 2017
they aren't always

it's grey
like the rain
going over
your head.

at other times,
it's complete
like the difficulties
of life.

how ironic it is,
that bitterness
can make it
Jun 2017 · 428
lillie Jun 2017
I hate to admit that,
Even if I hate you right now,
To the degree that spells out,
"So much,"
I can't deny that,
I am still,
Inevitably still,
In love with,
to the one that got away
May 2017 · 180
heavy heart
lillie May 2017
She approached you for she had no doubt,
Tapped your shoulder so you could turn around,
Turn around to face her,
To face her and see her scars,
The scars that you caused indirectly yet to so painfully,
That she didn't know what to say,
Her mouth opens, finding for words to speak,
Yet she closed it again for she did not know,
A heavy heart you caused her so.
A one-sided breakup has shattered her into shards of glass you can no longer touch to save her.
Jan 2017 · 822
forever young
lillie Jan 2017
run as wild as you can
as free as the bird in its land
smile more, it fits you, I’m sure
in this life, that’s merely pure

fall quickly, get up more
take a break, then dance some more
sip in your wine from its glass
then lie down on the tender grass

in this life, we’re forever young
as if we’ve never been stung--
--by reality.
Nov 2016 · 3.3k
lillie Nov 2016
let's talk about life as our voices fade
by the night's sparkles and sunlight's shades
sorrow ensues and happiness becomes blue
memories come back as we forget about it too

our hearts grew fonder and fonder
yet came haste then you were such a bother
hold me close yet let me go
for i am the wind that must flow

watch me from afar as you leave
for i am not responsible when you grieve
Inspired by Petrarch's Sonnet 307.
Apr 2016 · 895
artificial soul
lillie Apr 2016
hold me close
   in your arms,
   as my memories
   fade away from
heal my broken heart,
   for i am not an
   artificial being,
   for i go on
take me away from
   the void of fears
   and making experiences,
   as you open up your
i'll always remember
   the time we spent
   together, in this selfish
   and limited
[ Plastic | Memories ]
Apr 2016 · 1.9k
shinsengumi code
lillie Apr 2016
my dear don't
    be afraid to
    take flight and
    call out for help
we will and
    have promised to
    protect you,
    on our word
a samurai will
    and never will he
    abandon his orders
    *to protect you
"I *choose* to defeat you. And I *choose*, to protect her, from you."
Apr 2016 · 407
lillie Apr 2016
from words you say,
    to the things that
    you do just
    to joke on me
they leave an
    unhealable scare
    etched upon
    my aching heart
a thousand feelings
    bottling up, inside
    of me,
    a time bomb
And I can destroy you slowly by surprise.
Mar 2016 · 749
lillie Mar 2016
my dearest child,
    the tears you've
    shed, now lay upon
    the earthy
it has grown
    to make a
    beautiful and
your kindness may
    not be seen, yet
    fear not, for the
    light, shines through
It's what holds us together within.
Mar 2016 · 831
the postponed ignition
lillie Mar 2016
waiting for a spark
    your eyes lock
    on my dark and
    hopeful ones waiting
for the right
    kind of love
    you'll someday give
    out to me
Here and waiting for it.
Feb 2016 · 349
cut it out
lillie Feb 2016
just shut up, alright?
you were never there for me
Ten word story.
Feb 2016 · 491
lillie Feb 2016
I saw a
    fluffy cloud in
    the sky, shaped
    like a broken heart.
That's when I,
    got back to
    the murky past,
    and thought of you.
Feb 2016 · 837
lillie Feb 2016
my heart goes boom,
    along with the,
    beat of the stereo,
    loud and alive.
the sound of my heart,
    boom, clap-- it goes.
    it makes me smile,
    for this time.
then it goes on--
    subconsciously humming
    to the tune,
    of your heartbeart.
You're the mixtape of the tune of my heartbeat.
Feb 2016 · 1.2k
lillie Feb 2016
it all just went on-
    he asked her with,
    she accepted,
    while I broke.
it took me days,
    i kept seeing you
    in my mind, I'm,
    heartbroken and desperate.
we seemed like
    strangers to our,
    souls calling out,
    our lost chance.
Last chance.
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