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3.9k · Aug 2016
Do you see her?
Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
Do you see her?
There with the hair with side parting.
Do you know how much she have been hurting?

I've been watching her,
Everyday she puts on her makeup and smile,
She's been doing that for a while.
There's something she's hiding,
Those eyes tell something else,
Especially when there's no one else.

I've heard she said sorry once,
Sorry if she's boring them,
She was talking anxiously but stop in middle.
Like somewhere in her mind that being her is just too much.
At the end of each day,
There's something different than when she came,
It's like the whole day she's just struggling to survive.
Being overworked trying to show how she's alive.

Outside the public world,
Her life is not quite alright,
Those circles under her eyes were not overnight,
And those coffees were always the lightest roast ; Burnt not even a slight.

3.9k · Mar 2016
With her guitar
Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
Head down looking at the strings that she plucked on her guitar,

Hair just short above the collar of her shirt,

Mouthing to every piece that she's playing,

Nodding to every notes that she pressed,

It's hard not to fall to that sight.

But one must remember the danger of falling,

And denying it will only make it worse.

All that one can do is stay,

In what follows, at least that much is better for both of them.

3.6k · May 2016
You haven't met yourself
Yusof Asnan May 2016
It may be a strange behaviour for you,
To like someone that you don't know,
To understand their feelings as if they were my own,
To accept their thoughts even when it doesn't add up with reality.

But you have never seen yourself from a different view,
Believe me you'll fall too.

3.2k · Jun 2016
Wind up toy.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
If you ever stop moving,
I would wind you back up,
If you ever get lost,
I would set back the tracks,
If someone would break you,
I would fix you,
You may sound like a toy to them,
But you are a treasure to me.

1.8k · Jun 2016
Little fairytale
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
A Disney's story,
Is the dream for all,
A dream to be saved,
A dream of a savior,

For what she wished like Cinderella,
A blue dress like a princess,
Even for just one night,
A special night not like the rest.

1.4k · Jun 2016
Tattered Feathers
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
Like a bird whose wings are broken,
You are the one that couldn't follow the motion.
You can't fly like the others,
Nor you can blend in with their feathers.

Some part of you accepted that you can't fly,
That you like it down here ; being different.
But at times you just wondered why,
What is it about you that made you insignificant.

1.3k · May 2017
She smiled!
Yusof Asnan May 2017
It was a sleepy afternoon,
Heavy eyes brought in under the sunlight.
A slow day was just what is needed,
No more chaotic occurrence for the rest of the day.

A girl once unknown of her trait,
Been figuring her out from day one,
Thought of her as the shy and protective one,

A day like any other,
Same seat; same timing,
She would normally pass by,
As she always do,
But she came in through.

And then she smiled,
Giggled even.
A surge of aura came through my body,
lighting up my soul entirely.
I was so stunned,
It felt like forever

The silence broken,
She shattered it with a laugh,
But I was still dazed.
Let out only a smile.
A surprised smile.

And then she left.
To her it might me a little thing.
A friendly gesture,
Perhaps an ice breaker.

But it left me high,
Blown away through the clouds,
And still flying.


That I would be lucky enough,
To see any signs of trailing gaze.

A poem left open for several days looking for a way to express perfectly how I feel. And words still couldn't duplicate my feelings on that day. Oh sweet girl, why are you so shy?
1.2k · Jun 2016
The slivered princess.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
For she too believes in happy ever after,
But after what she's been through,
Those deceits and broken trusts,
Its not wrong for her to build her walls higher.

1.1k · Aug 2016
A different soul
Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
I'll tell you as story,
She was different,
I'll tell you why,
She lost love and all hope,
She cries herself to sleep,
The heart can only beats,
To the hollow that it holds,
She doesn't have to cut herself,
Because the pain she feels are more permanent,
Like a disease slowly eating her up.

Let me tell you more,
She was surely different,
Her family was all fine,
Her parents are good,
They didn't have any money complications,
But she couldn't fit in,
Always a stranger to her own house,
A foreign place to which she calls home,
Telling her that she's just thinking too much,
And the problem was with herself.

I'm going to tell you more,
She was not like others,
She didn't cry or ask for help,
Not even for a little light for the day,
She held it all in,
Accepting all her hate for herself,
She expressed them in words that which is for no one to see,
She would lay wake on her bed all night thinking what was wrong,
Even when she sleeps; She was not free,
Her nightmares are equally worse.

I'll tell you her better part,
Or at least some part better,
She has her friends,
At one point she felt like she was in a group,
Like somehow there's a place that she could fit in,
But as time flies,
They started to know her,
And they didn't like it,
They started to hate,
Her so called friends would backstab her,
Even when she already has her back against the wall.

So there's nothing much to tell,
She just doesn't belong,
Being with her own mind,
Which she didn't understand herself,
Always trying to figure out what's wrong with her,
Looking out for the worst of everything.

here is a piece inspired by Natalie Mervin's Complication, as a support for those self harming victims. Hers was so much better and mine is about even a good surroundings could defect someone.

991 · Sep 2016
Safe haven.
Yusof Asnan Sep 2016
Beautiful of them all
But always wary of the unseen;
Of the unheard but always felt within.
It became an obsession to one that holds attention.

From building a wall,
Into a freakin' house.
Where they could only knock;
On the door but still shut out.

Even that was not safe haven,
Only made her more cautious,
Where the devil peeps through the window;
Even at the brightest day.

Somehow the devil managed to get in,
Registered his stay,
A tenant in the house.
Oh where else is safe?

983 · Jun 2016
The king has fallen.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
"The king has fallen"

A majestic castle,
A thousand arsenal,
For he just leaves it,
He leaves them all.

A mourning queen,
A king-to-be prince,
One betrothed princess,
One warrior princess,
One prince in the war front,
One prince in the castle fort,
And one prince in the study.
These are what left of the mighty king.

Tis not a story of war,
Tis not a story of romance,
But tis a story of a battle,
Of the mighty king himself,

The Phyton King,
Or so he was called,
Was no match with the Viper king,
And the Cobra king,
Kings that he called brothers,
Have poisoned him;
Slowly killing him.

His kingdom was never on the top,
But it was the most peacefull,
But his rival kings;
Were always trying to topple him.

They can full charge him from front,
Ambush him from the sides,
Sneak in from the back,
But he has never shaken.

For decades,
He stood strong,
He remain unscathed,
But years of defense has weaken him from inside,
He has only hold them in,
With no effort to call for aid.

And that was his killing,
Being silent,
And never fighting back.

~ The king is my father, and I am the prince out in the front.
    I was not there when he fell.
    And I'll still not be there to take care of what's left
    But I will keep fighting, as the war has not end.
910 · Apr 2017
My own muse.
Yusof Asnan Apr 2017
In my canvas I drew her face,
With each brush stroke I drew her emotions,
Every dash of color paints her feelings,
And as the oil dries I caught her memories.

I framed the canvas as to keep her forever,
Or at least to keep her safe,
But even her portrait wont stay still,
She needed to grow-
Out of her own life.

860 · May 2016
A moment.
Yusof Asnan May 2016
She asked me,

I hesitated.

And I lost her.

843 · Mar 2016
Sand castle.
Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
There comes the waves kissing the shore,
Both gentle and harsh,
Mellow winds caressing the sand ever gently,
and at times abusively.
Like a sand castle residing at the shore,
your days are numbered to when you fall.
It's not the rough ones that are the reaper,
They left crumbs so you see your pieces fall off,
But the soothing ones that smothers you from grain by grain,
Feeding off bits of you that you left forgotten.
Like a sand castle residing on the shore,
Your days are numbered to when you fall,

842 · Jul 2016
The final curtain.
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
You were known as a man of few words,

Yet you spoke of a thousand advice,

You held in all the pain,

So no one can hear your cries.

It's never my intention to argue with you,

I grew up knowing more of the ill toungue,

Been taught to detest;debate and prove myself right,

Since I was very young.

I wasn't there most of the time,

But don't mistook me for seeking freedom,

Such are not within my wish,

All that was so you can be there with them.

You left-

My dream is now broken.

Its all for the love,

That I might never have shown.

In my prayers and our memories,

Is where you stay,

Because Goodbye,

Is something I could never say.

Forgive me for not being able to be who you wished me to be.
I love you dad.
832 · Sep 2016
The weight of emptiness
Yusof Asnan Sep 2016
You might think that it's easier to bear an empty heart.

To have no care for anything,

But truth is the more you let something consume your heart,

The lighter it would be for you.

783 · May 2018
Yusof Asnan May 2018
If beauty were to
be describe for
It's not just the
make up she put
Not just the
lipstick she
It's how she gets
comfy before she
How she smiles to
the little
How her eyes
would flicker to
something she
It was always
about the small
things that she

781 · Jul 2016
Helps me forget
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
Being away helps me forget,

Helps me lift the pain,

Helps lighten the worry.

Time would go faster,

Till it'll only just be a memory,

And the memory will fade,

Just like that.

But I don't want to forget.

762 · Sep 2016
Arisen within.
Yusof Asnan Sep 2016
She rose from deep within,
Like a phoenix out from the ashes,
Body covered with streaks of wounds,
New and aged with no discrimination.

She sprung life out of none,
Defying of what nature set the rules upon,
She made it a daily routine,
But none should know herself within.

Alone in her nest,
Of where she came,
Her seated heart rests in a battered ribs,
Like a dying bird with a rusted cage.

760 · Mar 2016
A hello for your demons
Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
If you are ever afraid one day,
When its just all too much to bear,
When running only brings you down,
Then and only then come to me,
I will greet your demons and introduce myself,
So that they know you're no longer alone.
753 · Sep 2016
Unsaid thoughts.
Yusof Asnan Sep 2016
All she ever wanted was to be heard,
Not through her voice or speech,
But actually listen,
Of what she didn't say.

She's tired of people saying that its not real,
That its just her voices in her head,
She knows that in the back of her mind,
Those things are real,
And its been taking a toll on herself.

They're telling her that's not how she actually feel,
But they have never been hungry like her,
Starving for a peace of mind,
How her worries are actually hurting her.

Someone who has never seen her book;
Read her written pages,
Could not begin to imagine the horrors,
Where nightmare and realities are alike.

723 · Jul 2016
The ocean girl
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
Her love was overwhelming,

Strong as the tide,

But fragile as the water surface,

Anything can break through.

Take that as not a chance,

As one might drown themselves.

You might lose yourself,

As you dive into her love deeper.

She will take your breath,

And she will give her all,

Give yourself more,

And her currents will pull you deeper.

707 · Nov 2017
Yusof Asnan Nov 2017
If silence was ever to be described,
It would be a safe zone in a war.
The calm before the storm,
Or merely the anesthetics fueled in
Before you can start to feel the pain again.

Her silence was just different,
It shrieked in a tearing pain,
Also the numbs the body throughout.
Without voice; it's louder than anything you'll hear.
But you should be worried more when she breaks the silence; and breakout.

693 · May 2016
She's a wallflower
Yusof Asnan May 2016
Some said that she's there for a reason,
And some said; it's just for the show.
What is the value of her presence-
Of which she does not know also.

She was not taught how reach the sun,
She's left there to grow on her own.
To see how others can get along,
Is something she never did understand.

Whenever she tried to blossom,
Someone else would shun her growth,
And cut the veins for her to breath.
No wonder she's just there withering in the corner.

682 · Jul 2016
The hero and his kryptonite
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
The love of the dark,

The longing of the emptiness,

The sense of calmness in the sleepless nights,

Where else can I find such peace than seeing the coming.

Head sunk in thoughts,

To the paper beneath my fist,

With the smoke from the cigarette,

That would be what I write about.

I did not write to reach people,

But to step away from them,

Continuously struggling away from attachments,

Even if its the right one.

Anyone could be a hero,

Its the day by day action is my kryptonite,

Repeating the same routine,

That shall be the death of me.

673 · Jun 2016
Her vow.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
Like how a star commits to constellations;

She said.

And that's how she promised herself.

But little did I know;

That constellations were never real,

It's a make-believe of one's imaginary.

It's a way to divide one from the many,

But serve no purpose other than status.

Like how a star commits to constellations;

She said.

And that's what I believed.

Boy was I a fool;

That constellations consists of other stars as well,

It's a series of connection with others,

As one star could die and be replaced by another.

And it takes a century for them get back together.

648 · May 2016
Waking dream.
Yusof Asnan May 2016
She is one of those dreams,
Where you're half awake,
And you're not sure if you're dreaming;
Or if it's real.

Even if it's just a dream,
I wouldn't even try to wake up,
Because this version of reality is much better;
Than what we've actually been.

Scary as I might get fully awake,
I would prefer falling even further.
I couldn't help myself;
But to chase this paralytic state.

641 · Jun 2016
Car crash.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
I'm all crashed and burnt,

I took the wheels,

And I took the turn,

And I know that it's real.

You never moved,

Unshaken of the coming end.

We collided,

But you left unbroken.

Now I'm still here half dead,

But you moved to another car.

639 · May 2018
Yusof Asnan May 2018
How could the
princess run from
the dragon,
When she's the
dragon herself.

638 · Jan 2017
Beauty by the sunset
Yusof Asnan Jan 2017
Such beauty glowing with the sun set,
The last rays of light lingering through the skin,
As her beauty slips along these jagged heart.
Almost as if a sweater was worn covering arms but its just hot as ever to wear those types,
She just wore it because it's comfortable.
Just a few feet away from her,
Yet I couldn't sound a single word,
As if watching a sun setting with no words needed to express the feelings.
I dare not to look long as I'm scared it will only hurt myself.
Why does such beauty exist yet I'm still unable to express it?

633 · Nov 2016
Post Meridiem
Yusof Asnan Nov 2016
There was no clock; no watch,
No time as they stood together,
As if time decides to take a break.

The moon was high,
On the dark black sky,
As if the night was the actuall setting for earth time.

Her heart flutters,
Her knees trembles,
As he said "I want to protect you and your fading smile."

An excerpt from my dreams
618 · Apr 2016
Yusof Asnan Apr 2016
looking around seeking help,

seeing nothing but shadow below your feet,

trying to move another step, but being strong has its limits,

if i could just stay still for a moment, without worrying about not achieving,

but tis not something i afford to take.

601 · Dec 2016
Winds and Waves
Yusof Asnan Dec 2016
The wind does things differently,
It patiently rubs off the sand castle's wall,
Slowly approaching it without intent to break.

Time was his friend,
He would give up his life time to enter the castle,
Showing only warmth as his effort to let her open up.

But the wave is different,
It would just come crashing on the walls,
Immediately breaking down the walls.

Time was never an issue,
He would do everything now while he can,
Shaking her world to show her the real world.

The beach knew how the wind loves the sand castle,
But the beach also know which one the sand castle will fall to,
I guess we all know how the wave will always win.

It may not be easy for everyone to get the one they want, especially when you've just dedicate your entire life for that one. It doesn't matter how many times or how long you have been holding your hands above her head from the rain, someone can easily come in with an umbrella and protect her entirely.
597 · May 2016
I'm not stopping you.
Yusof Asnan May 2016
I'm not stopping you from taking those pills,
Or from those lines on your wrists,
You can burn your thighs,
Or scream your lungs out.
I will not stop you.

How you've lost yourself to many sleepless nights,
Or to the times you've wasted thinking,
If this is how you fight,
Then don't even think about stopping.

No one should blame you for trying to face it,
Trying to fix it,
Trying to mend yourself,
Now this is my help.

Those scars,
Those eye bags,
Only shows your will to survive,
Your effort to be alive.

585 · Jun 2018
Yusof Asnan Jun 2018
So throw her a life line,
She may be strong
on her own,
But it doesn't
mean she don't
deserved the

572 · Mar 2016
The Flowers.
Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
I think, every person resembles like flowers,
Some are gloriously known and craved by many,
And some shy away in their nature,
But regardless, they have beauty in they own ways.

Some are so delicate; and so gentle,
While some grow thorns around them to protect themselves.

But as like flowers,
There's growth;
A vital point to which shapes it to how it can be,
And there's life;
As to which it fully blooms,
Either appreciated for its beauty or taken away for others perusals,
Lastly; There's wilting,
The crucial moment where the flower itself is cherished to its final petals,
Or left to rot when its beauty is ****** out from its veins.

I only wished to be a garden,
To the flowers that shed their own tears to water themselves,
To the flowers that grew sideways to get the sunlight,
To the flowers that just refused to show their beauty;
In the thought of being plucked,
I may not be a garden for all, but i will try to give out my soil to as much as there is out there.

Because like flowers, we need help.

541 · Jun 2016
The lover's rend.
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
Like a blade piercing her heart,
His word bleed of broken trusts,
For what they vowed of forever,
He left her when he was ever needed the most.

Rusty tongue seeks for forgiveness,
But the heart remembers the deep wound,
Of the cold steel that torn them both apart,
From the only one she holds dear.

527 · Aug 2016
My intentions.
Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
I was never trying to fix you,

I had only tried to fix the road before you.

508 · Apr 2017
Cinderella man.
Yusof Asnan Apr 2017
He too needed help,
A miracle to pull him out of his nightmare,
One that could make it all go away,
But for he is a man,
Its just not possible.

He seeks from anyone,
Telling people of his misfortune,
That he needed a way out,
But for he is a man,
It all seems like a joke.

He ask not a ball,
A night with a stunning princess,
Nor a magical shoe to fit in,
But for he is a man,
Seeks only a story where he is supposed to be in.

503 · May 2017
Somewhere over the clouds
Yusof Asnan May 2017
If my presence,

Is like a cloud to your sky,

That dimmed your world.

I will walk away;

And rain on another.

Perhaps they would be waiting;

For the rainbow after the rain.

A piece inspired by Najwa Zebian's work
487 · Jun 2016
The doubts of your feelings
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
You began to wonder,
If it is real,
If your heart is beating right,
Whether it is really what you feel.

Somewhere between thoughts,
You knew exactly what it is,
Your eyes saw it coming from a millennia away,
But your heart wants it as it is.

The cold, bitter truth,
Has never looked so sweet,
You can blame your hopes for that,
Because your dreams are something you cannot meet.

484 · Jun 2016
To turn a blind eye
Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
Someone I adored once told me;
You won't see the shadows when you put your face to the sun.
But all i ever thought was;
Who would be there to save the ones in the dark?

481 · May 2018
Yusof Asnan May 2018
In that fleeting
He caught her
eyes in his.
It's like the
universe itself;
Has been aligned
for them.

470 · May 2017
A girl unknown.
Yusof Asnan May 2017
Forgive me that I stare,
Tis something I couldn't resist.
Tis not just for your beauty,
But for how you hold your smile.

A smile to you seems so precious;
That you only give to those you trust.
The face you so much hid away;
To avoid any eye contact.

Tis not just the beauty I see in you,
Whether its innocence or a deep concealed darkness;
That I do not know.
Oh how I wish I can know.

You let out a low vibe around you,
Whether shy or sad;
That is your aura.
But confidence was always kept within.

You turned your head down,
I can tell those you judge,
With you;
I sense fear.

469 · Aug 2018
Never knew.
Yusof Asnan Aug 2018
He never knew how
her whole heart
was his from the

464 · Apr 2018
Yusof Asnan Apr 2018
She never wanted to be prettier
Nor that she wanted to be better.
Only wished to be accepted.

460 · Jul 2016
The king and his army
Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
A king rides his horse to the battlefield,

Leading a battle that he believed himself.

The knights surround their king,

In belief that they are willing to die for a better cause.

The soldiers march on the front line,

With believe that this victory would bring them back to their families.

Along ride the army of the kingdom,

With their own beliefs that brought them together.

Even in a dreadful event,

There is always something that would bind one to another.

Be it for different beliefs,

Someone is bound to strand by and fight with you.

Even if it's just for a moment,

They are there to help you win.

457 · May 2016
The role of a support.
Yusof Asnan May 2016
Such beauty,
Such grace,
Following her around,
Supporting her back,
Pushing her forward when she is shoved back,
Blocking incoming hits when she is knocked down,
But she has not looked at you,
She would not look at you,
Because you're always at her back.
Once you are no longer supporting her,
And she would be cornered down,
Then she would see you,
But only as someone who let her down.

452 · Aug 2016
Stop the self torture.
Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
You kept pushing me back,
Kept breaking me down,
Shattering me as soon as you see an opening,
Blocking off all possible approach.

It's not me who broke your trust,
It's not me who broke my words,
I've been only trying to fix what I didn't break,
So why am I to blame?

You said you need time,
But you've been wasting yours,
I'm not asking to forget,
I'm asking to accept,
and finally move on

You might think that its better to handle it alone,
without burdening people of your own,
But please don't forget,
you also deserve some happiness that I'm helping you to get.

452 · May 2018
Yusof Asnan May 2018
She would rather
choose mundane;
Because that mean
she's safe.


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