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Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
I'll tell you as story,
She was different,
I'll tell you why,
She lost love and all hope,
She cries herself to sleep,
The heart can only beats,
To the hollow that it holds,
She doesn't have to cut herself,
Because the pain she feels are more permanent,
Like a disease slowly eating her up.

Let me tell you more,
She was surely different,
Her family was all fine,
Her parents are good,
They didn't have any money complications,
But she couldn't fit in,
Always a stranger to her own house,
A foreign place to which she calls home,
Telling her that she's just thinking too much,
And the problem was with herself.

I'm going to tell you more,
She was not like others,
She didn't cry or ask for help,
Not even for a little light for the day,
She held it all in,
Accepting all her hate for herself,
She expressed them in words that which is for no one to see,
She would lay wake on her bed all night thinking what was wrong,
Even when she sleeps; She was not free,
Her nightmares are equally worse.

I'll tell you her better part,
Or at least some part better,
She has her friends,
At one point she felt like she was in a group,
Like somehow there's a place that she could fit in,
But as time flies,
They started to know her,
And they didn't like it,
They started to hate,
Her so called friends would backstab her,
Even when she already has her back against the wall.

So there's nothing much to tell,
She just doesn't belong,
Being with her own mind,
Which she didn't understand herself,
Always trying to figure out what's wrong with her,
Looking out for the worst of everything.

here is a piece inspired by Natalie Mervin's Complication, as a support for those self harming victims. Hers was so much better and mine is about even a good surroundings could defect someone.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
Hold that pen a little longer,

Write about it some more,

It may seems like you're holding your own noose,

But its better than to let your neck do the holding.

Yusof Asnan May 2017
Forgive me that I stare,
Tis something I couldn't resist.
Tis not just for your beauty,
But for how you hold your smile.

A smile to you seems so precious;
That you only give to those you trust.
The face you so much hid away;
To avoid any eye contact.

Tis not just the beauty I see in you,
Whether its innocence or a deep concealed darkness;
That I do not know.
Oh how I wish I can know.

You let out a low vibe around you,
Whether shy or sad;
That is your aura.
But confidence was always kept within.

You turned your head down,
I can tell those you judge,
With you;
I sense fear.

Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
If you are ever afraid one day,
When its just all too much to bear,
When running only brings you down,
Then and only then come to me,
I will greet your demons and introduce myself,
So that they know you're no longer alone.
Yusof Asnan Mar 2016
If she could only see,

How far I've reached out for her,

I may have not been the shoulder she could trust her head on,

But my hands have been holding out even before she was drowning

Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
For every time you sleep,

She's still falling apart,

For every dream you had,

She's still haunted by the memories.

But she had never stopped fixing herself,

For all she needed was time.

She could still feel the hurt,

She held it all in,

Just so you won't see it,

That accepting is better than letting go,

For all she needed was time.

Yusof Asnan May 2016
She asked me,

I hesitated.

And I lost her.

Yusof Asnan May 2017
You are mine,

I am yours.

With this bond,

We bind with words.

You shan't leave,

And I shan't hurt,

That is the promise I give to you

Yusof Asnan Jun 2018
Would you accept the hands that hurt you before if it meant to save your life?

Yusof Asnan Apr 2018
She never wanted to be prettier
Nor that she wanted to be better.
Only wished to be accepted.

Yusof Asnan May 2018
In that fleeting
He caught her
eyes in his.
It's like the
universe itself;
Has been aligned
for them.

Yusof Asnan Apr 2017
Over encumbered by burden,
She finally breaks down.
Screaming every pain and sorrows,
That had cling to her very soul.

Now she lay there helpless,
Feeling as vulnerable as she could ever be.
With questions of how it should be ...
Easier to just die.

Hang on mom, we're gonna help you get through this.
Yusof Asnan Mar 2018
He was not angry.
For that he was angry;
But only to himself.

Yusof Asnan Sep 2016
She rose from deep within,
Like a phoenix out from the ashes,
Body covered with streaks of wounds,
New and aged with no discrimination.

She sprung life out of none,
Defying of what nature set the rules upon,
She made it a daily routine,
But none should know herself within.

Alone in her nest,
Of where she came,
Her seated heart rests in a battered ribs,
Like a dying bird with a rusted cage.

Yusof Asnan Dec 2017
At times,
Most of the time,
The man's love are only words.
Only because him,
Unable to show his actions.
But the love is true,
It is real.

Yusof Asnan Mar 2018
He tried to be the good.
He tried to make his heart bigger;
For more people to fit in.
Yet he knows not,
His heart only stretches.
Thinner by each passing moments.
Till it burst.
And then he have to rebuild.
Yusof Asnan Jan 2017
Such beauty glowing with the sun set,
The last rays of light lingering through the skin,
As her beauty slips along these jagged heart.
Almost as if a sweater was worn covering arms but its just hot as ever to wear those types,
She just wore it because it's comfortable.
Just a few feet away from her,
Yet I couldn't sound a single word,
As if watching a sun setting with no words needed to express the feelings.
I dare not to look long as I'm scared it will only hurt myself.
Why does such beauty exist yet I'm still unable to express it?

Yusof Asnan May 2018
If beauty were to
be describe for
It's not just the
make up she put
Not just the
lipstick she
It's how she gets
comfy before she
How she smiles to
the little
How her eyes
would flicker to
something she
It was always
about the small
things that she

Yusof Asnan Apr 2017
She was never one to grow wings and fly away,
She just can't leave her tree and be vulnerable,
She needed to be strong for herself,
Now she grow roots and became the tree itself.

Yusof Asnan May 2018
Somewhere along
the line of
meeting him for
the first time
and being left
at the altar, is
the best day of her life.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
Your words pierced through us,

Like a clear glass splitting us worlds apart,

You are there right in front of me,

Yet you couldn't even hear me calling for you,

As tears shed your eyes,

You mouthed the three words I've been dying to hear,

Never had I smiled so widely yet felt sad at the same time.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2018
She's the flower
that has been
plucked out of
its soil and
still bloom

Yusof Asnan May 2018
Sometimes you
just gotta paint
it black and
start a new life.

Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
I'm all crashed and burnt,

I took the wheels,

And I took the turn,

And I know that it's real.

You never moved,

Unshaken of the coming end.

We collided,

But you left unbroken.

Now I'm still here half dead,

But you moved to another car.

Yusof Asnan Apr 2017
He too needed help,
A miracle to pull him out of his nightmare,
One that could make it all go away,
But for he is a man,
Its just not possible.

He seeks from anyone,
Telling people of his misfortune,
That he needed a way out,
But for he is a man,
It all seems like a joke.

He ask not a ball,
A night with a stunning princess,
Nor a magical shoe to fit in,
But for he is a man,
Seeks only a story where he is supposed to be in.

Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
Between the two endings,
To her, Hell wouldn't be the lesser choice,
At least she knows it's always gonna hurt,
The demons are always gonna lie,
All of them will stab her back,
And they won't even try to be sincere.

Knowing that they are who they are
It wouldn't hurt that much,
Than being hurt by the masked angels,
with their tainted wings.

Perhaps hell wouldn't be so bad.
And maybe that's why she finds comfort in hell.

Yusof Asnan Dec 2017
He would view back all her photos every night,
To remind himself how lucky he is.
Also, to make his dreams as good as his reality.

Yusof Asnan May 2018


The moment that
he holds her in
his arms

Yusof Asnan Apr 2018
For every time he gave up,
That was his cry for help.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2018
You can't begin
to imagine
the feeling
of cultivating
the love
and trust
of the

Yusof Asnan Nov 2017
Beautiful soul.
Impeccable features.
But flaws are imminent.
Even to the brightest.

Her smile obscure.
Like seeds of darkness,
A stiletto of a dagger.
Lurking in the shadow.

Not in her tales,
But of what befell.
Deep of she hid.
Nightmare concealed.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
You brought her across the world;
Without realising that;
You've dragged her all the way.
Barking her skin and breaking her bones
As you kept holding her hands.

Yusof Asnan Apr 2018
He loved her whole,
He loved her fully.
All her broken pieces,
He mend her soul.
But of a different form.
He changed her;
To what he wants.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2016
Do you see her?
There with the hair with side parting.
Do you know how much she have been hurting?

I've been watching her,
Everyday she puts on her makeup and smile,
She's been doing that for a while.
There's something she's hiding,
Those eyes tell something else,
Especially when there's no one else.

I've heard she said sorry once,
Sorry if she's boring them,
She was talking anxiously but stop in middle.
Like somewhere in her mind that being her is just too much.
At the end of each day,
There's something different than when she came,
It's like the whole day she's just struggling to survive.
Being overworked trying to show how she's alive.

Outside the public world,
Her life is not quite alright,
Those circles under her eyes were not overnight,
And those coffees were always the lightest roast ; Burnt not even a slight.

Yusof Asnan May 2016
Known with his many masks,
Comes in various forms.
Like a virus;every second only makes him stronger
Overpowering you over your own body,
Such strength that could even shut your mind.
With license to ****;
Murdering your dreams,
Stealing away your hopes.
He who has ****-counts way higher than failure ever did.

Yusof Asnan May 2016
It starts with a dream,
Seeing a garden full of hope,
A wonder full of goodness,
People can be easily blinded by that.

Losing sight of what they tend to forget,
Turning a blind sight to what they should be wary of,
Sometimes its hard to believe,
That nightmares are dreams too.

So what makes a person forget,
Is the possibility of something you love,
could become your killing,
After all, the devil was once an angel too.

Yusof Asnan Dec 2016
No such things as good dreams and bad dreams,
Dreams are dreams,
No matter how much it could shake you,
Your reality is what matters the most.
You're gonna die from the inside from those dreams,
But you're gonna show them that you're still alive.

been a while since I've been writing, so here is my random thoughts
Yusof Asnan May 2018
He came and wipe
all that there
Like the harsh
waves cleaned the
He erased her of
what has been
hurting her and
clean her new.

Yusof Asnan May 2016
At times ,
I thought about how the glass will hold long,
Those cracks are not getting any smaller,
Those things you see beyond will be your killing,
Being able to see them everyday but could not even reach for them.

When those glass breaks,
I'm not sure which would hurt you first-
By the dangers you've been seeing from inside,
Or by the glass shards falling from above,
I do not know.

As for me,
I will keep taking care of you; even from the outside,
I will cut those thorns that might tangle you,
And i will keep fixing those cracks.
Even when you're no longer living

For the flower in the glass.
Yusof Asnan Aug 2018
The flower in the
wasteland exudes
life itself:
The physical
entity of
determination and
will to live.
Yes she may be
damaged from all
the toxic
And yes there
were times she
accepted her
But she still
Sprouting joy
despite all that.
She's special.
She's the flower
that survived.

Yusof Asnan Aug 2018
And in your eyes,
I see hope.
Not only the
acceptance of the
But the future of

Yusof Asnan Feb 2018
A goal once to be remembered,
To be told stories of;
To be immortalised.
Now slowly losing purpose and value.
And soon shall he slipped of from memories;
From their life.

Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
Another day that passed,

Has been another day away from it,

The further I am,

The more painful it is.

I never expected it to be so soon,

For I am not ready yet,

I was never ready for it,

But now its just a memory.

One that is fading,

One that is becoming more distant,

One that I could never move on from,

I never wish to forget.

It's almost 40 days now since he left. You are forever in my prayers dad.
Yusof Asnan May 2018
He may break you
but I'll save
you, Have faith.


Yusof Asnan May 2018
You wondered why
you keep finding
broken angels
All so scarred
and yet deserved
to be loved.
But they keep
putting walls so
high to prevent
people hurting
You forgot, they
weren't supposed
to be down here
in the first

Yusof Asnan May 2018
Her pillows damp
with her tears.
For what she felt
was the worst.
Broken to pieces
and left
She will never
love again she

Then he came and
changed the
Wiped her of
those tears,
And calmed her
Stayed there till
she stood on her

Along time then
she smiles.
Ridden of her
sorrows and pain.
He stayed with
her till then,
She didn't
realize she was
falling again.

Yusof Asnan May 2018
She began to
Whether it was a
mere coincidence;
Or they were
fated entirely.

Yusof Asnan Jun 2016
A step away from the ledge,

Tremble oh dear old knees,

For she who spoke death,

Could feel nothing but the dark cold breeze.

A heart so torn,

Knows nothing who she believes,

Ripped over and over again,

Its nothing for what the demon has seized.

They mind speaks of hope,

But none that shows a way,

To get over this hell,

She only wished to live another day.

Her hand is what she fears,

Hiding them as they bear flames,

Burning everything she holds dear,

In the end it would its ashes the same.

It was not like in the books,

They wear no mask or disguise,

They were friends that went partways,

Bringing her only demise.

The demons sung only warmth,

Bringing down her own guard,

And here she was left on the ledge,

With the leap as her last Card.

Yusof Asnan Mar 2018
I'm facing the very demons I've created. And I'm losing.


Yusof Asnan Jul 2016
My demons,

Have never spoken a word,

They were always silent,

But they never left,

Even for a second.

They grinned once in a while,

Smiling while looking at me,

Yet they have never touched me,

Or took even a step closer.

They're not doing anything,

Just patiently waiting,

Maybe that was their desire,

Just to see me fall,

Watching every step to the fall.

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