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dorian green May 2021
i've been waking up to desaturation all my life.
i don't know why but i've been
rolling over in the same grey-skinned body,
opening shoddy eyes, heart heavy
as a hangover. i climb into your chevy with
it in my hands. i know this is the fifth time i've lit
a cigarette since i quit, but my lungs needed the ash.
did you know, in a car crash, just one person
not wearing a seatbelt would worsen the casualties?
so if you see the casual ease with which i bare my chest,
know that the carnage of my reckless form,
hail in a storm of steel and violence, at least felt sorry.
the starry dark of a backroad, an explosion of light,
a bright metal supernova and colors even my eyes can't doubt;
we'll all find out exactly how heavy my guilt
is when the body sorrow built ascends through the windshield.
june ivy Feb 2021
sitting in my car
crying on my birthday
trying to drive on
swerving through the turn lane

another year, another fear
I'm anxious as I steer
then my eyes well with tears and I can't see the road
crashed my car let me go home
I don't want to be here anymore

people stare but they aren't looking
it's my ******* birthday
trying to drive on
swerving off the road and I'm gone

another year another fear
I wish for death as I steer
crashed my car let me go home
I wanna die on the day that I was born
dorian green Jan 2021
at what point
in human evolution
did we earn
a benevolent god?

did the phytoplankton
get a god?
the apes?
who is the deer praying to
when it finds out
in the end, heaven and headlight coalesce—
libation hits the tar and we know
it’s all we’ll ever leave behind.

the definition of humanity begins
at the simple hope
of all this work
being worth something.
gray Nov 2020
long black hair and white pale skin
piercing eyes whilst sipping gin.
don't know what's happening but let's begin
our story.

flashing lights and thumping bass
I can't even feel my face.
I feel like I'm going into
dangerous territory.

now your putting your number in my phone
and saying that you need a lift home
but I can't see and my head
is blurry.

but you look so good so i give in
not knowing what's going to happen, not thinking
we jump in the car and begin
our journey.

we're driving fast through the hillside
then some lorry comes past and hits the side
of my car.
i dont even know where this came from; I was penning som lyrics down for a song I'm working on but decided that maybe it suited a poem more,butas I was writing it may have went a bit, um, dark?
imehsahdehahs Oct 2020
turn up & Sing

"Head Like a hole"

Side glass broke

You Drove a hateful Spear to his Side

Stronger than reason

Is No Reason !

No Reason?


No Reason!

Devouring his Corpse

Your Lord & Savoir

Gasoline Is his Blood

body made out of Glass

Cannibal Class was and always

Stressed Out & Driving Crazy

Benz, Benzo & Beach

Benz,Benzo & Beach!

Benz, Benzo & ******* Beach!!!

Come on get your Soul,( Come on)

You Sold out Your Hope

Leaders For Dope

Money Owns You


Michael Stefan Mar 2020
Sweet pitter-patter,
The drumming of raindrops,
Lulling me gently,
To realms of sweet dreams,
And bright lights.

That soothing tapping,
Of raindrops hitting,
A freshly washed windshield,
Cradled against plush leather seats,
By tightly pulled seatbelt.

A loud crack of thunder,
Even sounds restful,
On the side of a well-worn highway,
Lighting the night sky,
Like a beacon of hope.

The sickly pitter-patter,
Of crimson drops hitting leather,
Contrasted to the beauty of the rain,
Trapped beneath seatbelts,
And bent metal.

Sweet soft drumming,
Of raindrops on my window,
And the ruined hood of my car,
If the lightning beacon doesn't bring help soon,
I am at least glad... see one last rainstorm.
Marri Oct 2019
The car flips.

Over the railing--
Down the side of a grassy hill with hidden rocks.
I let go.
Arms up like roller-coaster fun.

Glass flies through the air;
It's perfect.
The light reflecting angelically.

7 year old sister still laughing--
Baby brother with a gap toothed smile.
Mother soars through the windshield;
Finally free.
Dad hits his head against the dashboard, and seems not to mind.
Our family blood mixes together;
Staining everything it touches.

The radio sings the latest haunting pop song.
We bicker over what station to change it to.

The car stays rolling, and with arms up.
Like good ole' fashioned family fun.
Aaron LaLux Sep 2019
I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

she didn’t even notice, because, as usual she was,
stuck on her phone, serving it more than it served her,

I wanted to remind her urgently, that I was there,
that she was there as well, that we were there,
I wanted to remind her urgently, to remember the memories,
before they were permanently gone, & forgotten forever,

lost in the sands of time, stuffed in the depths of our minds,
gone like skeletons in closets, faded like colors in sunsets, washed away like sand castles by the sea,
she was only ever there during ***,

only then would our souls connect & our eyes meet,
only then would she be present, without interference,
& our *** was the best, no debate, carnal yet caring,
physical yet spiritual, gentle yet rough, selfless yet selfish,

still as good as the *** was, I wanted more,
I wanted more of her, I wanted more of her there with me,

for I felt that all too familiar feeling of impermanence,
that this too would pass, as everything does,
that we too wouldn’t last & that time was our nemesis,
this gave me anxiety & anguish, so bad I wanted to speak up,
but I just clammed up, I bit my tongue, swallowed my words,
& swept all these underlying emotions under the rug,

see we were doing good, good enough to not make a scene,
or at least it seemed, & I didn’t wish to mess things up for us,

didn’t wish to arouse her inner child,
for that child was fierce, that child was a terror,
that child could be sweet but also bitter,
that child was sometimes a dream, but mostly a nightmare,

life is, sometimes a dream, but, mostly a nightmare,
so I didn’t make current waves, I just rode surfer waves,
as we rode in Uber cars, driven by newer slaves,
wanted nothing more for us than a way to escape,

wanted nothing more from her, nothing except her time,
how silly am I, to want the only thing that money can’t buy,

I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

after a decent amount of time, maybe a few months,
I finally spoke, words which to this day I still regret,
words that would set in motion our end,
even though I didn’t know it yet,

I said,

“You love that phone more than you love me, so I’m leaving!”,
this sentence, like all the most hurtful sentences are,
was made up of a combination of truth, anger, & passion,
was made out of a sense of desperation, hatred, & love,

& I don’t know if you can actually witness a heartbreak,
but if you can, if you can witness & actually recognize it,
then I saw her heart break in that moment,
& it signified the beginning of our end catalyzing,

her heart broke for all the reasons a heart breaks,
she felt betrayed, attacked, misunderstood, & neglected,
she felt she had given me her everything & that I rejected it,
that I’d disrespected it & worst of all felt I didn’t detect it,

there were no tears, there was no explanations,
no reaction, no pleading, no reasoning,
there were only misinterpreted intentions for no reason,
& an escalation of arguments used as excuses for our abuses,

the truth is, I loved her,
more than any girl before, or any girl after,

but you know what they say,
you never really miss what you have until it’s gone,
you never really miss who you have until they’re gone,
you never get a chance to say goodbye once they’re gone,

“c’est la vie” life goes on, even when account’s overdrawn,
morally bankrupt, we broke up, as most couples eventually do,
going our separate ways with severed ties & broken hearts,
each of us holding separate parts of each other’s lies & truth.

We went cold turkey, no calls, no emails, no text.

We didn’t speak for months, still I thought about her every day.

It’s strange how close someone can feel,
even when they are so far away,
it’s strange how far someone can feel,
even when they are right there with you,
sometimes I feel closer to someone, when they are not there,
if you love someone let them go,
the heart only grows fonder with time,
& if they return some day you know that they’re there to stay.

One day, I don’t remember the exact day, I called her,
craving to hear her soft tones in my ears once more,
to my surprise she answered, “Who’s this?”
“It’s me.”, I replied to remind her,
there was a long pause,
“Oh, my Love, it’s been months!” she exclaimed excitedly,
months in this city can feel like years,
“So good to hear from you Babe, can I text you later?”,
the sentence didn’t make sense,
I didn’t desire another text conversation,
I desired to hear her voice, to see her face,
still, it had been months,
& I didn’t want to scare her off with overt emotions,
it’s a strange time when people are scared of love letters,
I wanted to tell her,
that time is passing faster than any of us realize,
that life is too short,
to not spend every living moment with someone you love,
that we should be celebrated as miracles,
not neglected as mistakes to be ignored,
I wanted to say something so bad, but like usual,
I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
reminding me of all those nights we’d spent at the bar,
so in order not to startle her I only said “Ok.”,
she said, “Thanks!”, & we both hung up our phones,
thinking she wouldn’t text back, & I’d again be left alone,

to my surprise, she called me that same night,
& confessed she loved my madly,
& that us being together in this world of wrong,
seemed like the only thing that felt right anymore,

so we made a plan, to have dinner the next day,
& every moment in anticipation, felt like forever to wait,

we were to meet at this little bistro on Sunset,
I arrived a bit early just in case & shot her a text,
she texted me back instantly saying she was on her way,
felt as eager sitting there as a high school kid on his first date,

to my shock & surprise she stood me up, at first I was upset,
until I learned that in her defense it wasn’t her fault,
see she’d died in a car crash on Crescent Heights & Sunset,
cause of death a text she was sending me before she crashed,

in that last moment, she’d sent me a text that was never sent, & I later found out when I read it that this is what it said,

“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”.

& we’re still waiting,  
but now the tables have turned,
now she’s waiting for me to get off my phone,
& come back home.

So I send this message to her in Heaven in hopes it’s received,
“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”..

∆ LaLux ∆

Poem #55 from the best selling poetry book
THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available here:
fray narte Jul 2019
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
letting tears fall
down on the pillow
of silence and sadness,
of swears and talking downs.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
waiting for it to crash —
wondering if i would crash it
or drive off a cliff
had i been the one driving.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
disregarding seatbelts,
and wishing it was
the very last ride.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
you, meeting the snow storm, head-on
headlights fading
or maybe it was the last of bits light
ensnared by
the crashes and the blood
and the cars burning
on the side of the road.

and i sat on our
passenger seat
for the last time, dad.

and not anymore.
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