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Aaron LaLux Sep 18
I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

she didn’t even notice, because, as usual she was,
stuck on her phone, serving it more than it served her,

I wanted to remind her urgently, that I was there,
that she was there as well, that we were there,
I wanted to remind her urgently, to remember the memories,
before they were permanently gone, & forgotten forever,

lost in the sands of time, stuffed in the depths of our minds,
gone like skeletons in closets, faded like colors in sunsets, washed away like sand castles by the sea,
she was only ever there during ***,

only then would our souls connect & our eyes meet,
only then would she be present, without interference,
& our *** was the best, no debate, carnal yet caring,
physical yet spiritual, gentle yet rough, selfless yet selfish,

still as good as the *** was, I wanted more,
I wanted more of her, I wanted more of her there with me,

for I felt that all too familiar feeling of impermanence,
that this too would pass, as everything does,
that we too wouldn’t last & that time was our nemesis,
this gave me anxiety & anguish, so bad I wanted to speak up,
but I just clammed up, I bit my tongue, swallowed my words,
& swept all these underlying emotions under the rug,

see we were doing good, good enough to not make a scene,
or at least it seemed, & I didn’t wish to mess things up for us,

didn’t wish to arouse her inner child,
for that child was fierce, that child was a terror,
that child could be sweet but also bitter,
that child was sometimes a dream, but mostly a nightmare,

life is, sometimes a dream, but, mostly a nightmare,
so I didn’t make current waves, I just rode surfer waves,
as we rode in Uber cars, driven by newer slaves,
wanted nothing more for us than a way to escape,

wanted nothing more from her, nothing except her time,
how silly am I, to want the only thing that money can’t buy,

I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

after a decent amount of time, maybe a few months,
I finally spoke, words which to this day I still regret,
words that would set in motion our end,
even though I didn’t know it yet,

I said,

“You love that phone more than you love me, so I’m leaving!”,
this sentence, like all the most hurtful sentences are,
was made up of a combination of truth, anger, & passion,
was made out of a sense of desperation, hatred, & love,

& I don’t know if you can actually witness a heartbreak,
but if you can, if you can witness & actually recognize it,
then I saw her heart break in that moment,
& it signified the beginning of our end catalyzing,

her heart broke for all the reasons a heart breaks,
she felt betrayed, attacked, misunderstood, & neglected,
she felt she had given me her everything & that I rejected it,
that I’d disrespected it & worst of all felt I didn’t detect it,

there were no tears, there was no explanations,
no reaction, no pleading, no reasoning,
there were only misinterpreted intentions for no reason,
& an escalation of arguments used as excuses for our abuses,

the truth is, I loved her,
more than any girl before, or any girl after,

but you know what they say,
you never really miss what you have until it’s gone,
you never really miss who you have until they’re gone,
you never get a chance to say goodbye once they’re gone,

“c’est la vie” life goes on, even when account’s overdrawn,
morally bankrupt, we broke up, as most couples eventually do,
going our separate ways with severed ties & broken hearts,
each of us holding separate parts of each other’s lies & truth.

We went cold turkey, no calls, no emails, no text.

We didn’t speak for months, still I thought about her every day.

It’s strange how close someone can feel,
even when they are so far away,
it’s strange how far someone can feel,
even when they are right there with you,
sometimes I feel closer to someone, when they are not there,
if you love someone let them go,
the heart only grows fonder with time,
& if they return some day you know that they’re there to stay.

One day, I don’t remember the exact day, I called her,
craving to hear her soft tones in my ears once more,
to my surprise she answered, “Who’s this?”
“It’s me.”, I replied to remind her,
there was a long pause,
“Oh, my Love, it’s been months!” she exclaimed excitedly,
months in this city can feel like years,
“So good to hear from you Babe, can I text you later?”,
the sentence didn’t make sense,
I didn’t desire another text conversation,
I desired to hear her voice, to see her face,
still, it had been months,
& I didn’t want to scare her off with overt emotions,
it’s a strange time when people are scared of love letters,
I wanted to tell her,
that time is passing faster than any of us realize,
that life is too short,
to not spend every living moment with someone you love,
that we should be celebrated as miracles,
not neglected as mistakes to be ignored,
I wanted to say something so bad, but like usual,
I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
reminding me of all those nights we’d spent at the bar,
so in order not to startle her I only said “Ok.”,
she said, “Thanks!”, & we both hung up our phones,
thinking she wouldn’t text back, & I’d again be left alone,

to my surprise, she called me that same night,
& confessed she loved my madly,
& that us being together in this world of wrong,
seemed like the only thing that felt right anymore,

so we made a plan, to have dinner the next day,
& every moment in anticipation, felt like forever to wait,

we were to meet at this little bistro on Sunset,
I arrived a bit early just in case & shot her a text,
she texted me back instantly saying she was on her way,
felt as eager sitting there as a high school kid on his first date,

to my shock & surprise she stood me up, at first I was upset,
until I learned that in her defense it wasn’t her fault,
see she’d died in a car crash on Crescent Heights & Sunset,
cause of death a text she was sending me before she crashed,

in that last moment, she’d sent me a text that was never sent, & I later found out when I read it that this is what it said,

“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”.

& we’re still waiting,  
but now the tables have turned,
now she’s waiting for me to get off my phone,
& come back home.

So I send this message to her in Heaven in hopes it’s received,
“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”..

∆ LaLux ∆

Poem #55 from the best selling poetry book
THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD
Julia Aug 28
drive. slo.
chill. ****.
rode. up.
ya done.

your baby isn’t dying
if you’re late you’re just not trying
so tell me why the ******* flying
in a civic down 45?

nothing civil bout your ride
last week 11 people died
that way so everything aside
it’s time to smile and just glide

no. stress.
the road to happiness
ain’t on my tesla’s gps
i guess the next best thing’s to bless
the morning as you’re getting dressed

slo. roll.
toe. hold.
gro. old.
ya done.
for God's sake use your blinker
fray narte Jul 26
and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
letting tears fall
down on the pillow
of silence and sadness,
of swears and talking downs.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
waiting for it to crash —
wondering if i would crash it
or drive off a cliff
had i been the one driving.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger
disregarding seatbelts,
and wishing it was
the very last ride.

and i sat for many years
on the passenger seat
of our ford ranger,
you, meeting the snow storm, head-on
headlights fading
or maybe it was the last of bits light
ensnared by
the crashes and the blood
and the cars burning
on the side of the road.

and i sat on our
passenger seat
for the last time, dad.

and not anymore.
Syd Hafner May 10
Eva
She crashed the car when she lost her ****,
and into the water’s embankment
Then she got out and said sorry to the cement,
she was almost laughing and no one saw it
When the men in uniforms came,
she tried to hide the bitter taste on her breath,
because why should the criminal grin and the innocents be put to death?
But even now when her daughter is bridged to a drip,
the same bitter taste rests fresh on her lips
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwjS9u63gZHiAhUIWq0KHSI0Af8QzPwBCAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.independent.ie%2Firish-news%2Fcourts%2Fmother-who-killed-daughter-in-drinkdrive-crash-is-jailed-26571759.html&psig=AOvVaw1y8yFj5h8wNS1lrkXY3m-6&ust=1557579366213856
void Jan 7
you made a playlist
of songs about
car crashes

not because you
want to die
but because
your mind
does
mjad Nov 2018
Of all the fun Ive ever had
Almost all I've never told you
From vaping in the car
To drinking in my friends basement bar
Almost all I've never told you
Nearly crashing a car
Kissing strangers just for fun
Smelling like **** a ton
Sneaking out to a friend's wedding
To seeing the cops pull up and dreading
You hearing about all the fun I've had that I've never told you
But you never knew, never found out about
The times I don't want to forget
You don't know about them yet
And my only regret out of all of it
Is that I can't tell you one bit
Part 2 to "Fun"
CGW Oct 2018
She dreams in yellow waves.
In summer time she wishes that she were asleep than awake.
Eyes shut.
Weightless but not for long.
A shot of blood against the windshield.
She regrows her roots into consciousness at the speed of darkness.
She thinks.
Over contemplating the smell of burnt rubber and musky metal.
She watches her dislocated broken body wash from the ocean cliff into the abyss.
Aa Harvey Jul 2018
Wonderful


You to me are wonderful; you came along and rocked my world.
You made me see, that I could be, anything I wanted to be.
You made me chase all of my dreams;
You made them become a reality.


The day you crashed in to my world;
The same day you became my girl.
The day we went for a drink in the pub;
The day we got extremely drunk.
The day you met some of my friends;
The day you wrote off my Mercedes Benz.


I drove along like every other day
And there you were, I saw your face.
I could see that you were besotted with me;
As deep into your eyes I could see.
You made the whole world disappear
And then you hit my car and then it got hit in the rear.


I don't recall his protestations;
I don't recall our head on collision.
I don't recall feeling any pain;
I think you kissed it all away.
As you floated down into my life,
I found love at first sight.
When you bumped into me, I got quite a fright,
Because you came along and completely changed my life.


The two of us, are now dancing hand in hand,
To the muffled complaints of an angry man;
But he cannot bring bad karma, into our bubble.
He cannot make either of us worry.
But please could I have your insurance details
And carry you away to the nearest hospital?
For you are not hurt and neither am I;
But I'd like to get away from that angry guy.
So could you pretend to faint and I'll carry you home,
So the two of us can be all alone.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Jun 2018
One For The Road


A mother cries, at her babies smile,
Because everything is alright.
A father lies dying in his car,
He’s not coming home tonight.


If only he had changed his ways,
If only he had used his head today.
If he hadn’t gone out to celebrate,
Maybe he would be coming home again.


There’s been another crash on Route 66,
That left a single mother with a newborn kid.
It’s just another headline news story,
It’s just another drink-drive tragedy.


So drink!  And drive!  And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!


So drink!  And drive!  And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!


A man lies dying in his car,
He dreams of holding his baby in his arms.
But we all know that will never happen;
Never again will he know happiness.
We all know how the story ends;
A single mother with a newborn kid.


Another crash on Route 66,
Another victim of the Devils drink.
Another headline news story,
Another drink-drive tragedy.


So drink!  And drive!  And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!


So drink!  And drive!  And party all night,
It feels so good to turn out the lights.
It feels so good to step on the gas,
It feels so good, until you crash!


So if you’re drunk and sat in a bar,
Just hand over the keys to your car.
Go and call yourself a cab,
Because it's not too late for you to be a good Dad.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
R Jun 2018
They replaced the road.
with a different colour.
A much lighter grey,
then the other tiles,
that overlap and flow.

They replaced the road,
to mask the crimson red,
to stop children from seeing splatters on the tile,
growing up too young.

They replaced the road
so that we don't have to see
as those who are gone are always forgotten.

But we won't forget you,
who made us realise the impermanence
Too young, we are for this.

They replaced the road,
But I don't go there anymore
I don't see the lighter grey,
of which crimson used to be,
before, there was security
a bliss of ignorance.

Becuase with every loss of life,
there comes new
a new feeling
a new sadness
a new road tile.

What else has been covered up?
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