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My heart is beating rhythmically
 In resonance to the beat of 'End Of Time’.
My soul is breathing in tranquility,
In response to the gleaming full moon.
My body is surviving poetically
In reply to the poetries I write.
‘End Of Time’ is my most favourite song which is By Alan Walk
I loved you so long that I turned into something
I could not recognize.
By the time the ordeal was over I was no longer a girl but the shell of a shivering shipwreck left to rot among the rocks.
My senses had all been cast astray in the disaster, and, dressed in white waves, I had crawled my way back to shore.
I still do not know how I made it out of that wreckage. I only remember the voice from the depths assuring me I would survive, and I did.
and I am.
who am i now?
Grey Rose Nov 12
Here is a poem

I made it from the words I found on buses, newspapers, blowing in the afternoon wind
and in daydreams.
And from the words you never told me..
Like "I won't give up on you"
Or "I'm staying".
I assembled them along with the leftover words from my suicide notes.

Just for you.
Just like how our lost brothers used to make them.
Or would've.
I want to see these words living on your lips.
Or falling down your cheek.
Or Running Along Your Wrists
OR WRAPPED AROUND YOUR NECK
Or even just reflected at the back of your eye.

In the hope that you'll receive a call at 3am on a Sunday morning about these words.

Then hear them again on the evening news.
About how they were found ISOLATED, HANGING in the dark,
AND SPILLING ACROSS THE ROOM.
Haunting it for centuries to come.
Let them talk about how it was the words.
Instead of one of us.
Lola Nov 9
A smile tugs at my lips
Yet a tear falls from my eye
I cannot seem to find happiness
Without endlessly asking why
I had to suffer all I did
And why I suffer still
Have I lost the girl I used to be
Has all the pain broken my will
And changed me into someone else
Someone who’s not quite there
Who’s always a word away from darkness
Who can taste sadness in the air
And I stare into a mirror
And wonder what it is I’ve lost
Has the price of all this been to high
Can I still afford the cost
Is there enough strength left inside of me
To fight this hard each day
Or is this all just futility
My final useless attempt to stay
But I decided I had come to my end
And I felt it in my soul
And now that I have to live with that decision
I don’t believe I ever will be whole
So I take one step after another
And I clasp my hands into fists
I collect together all my remaining pieces
To have the courage to just exist
if i make it through this winter
then i can learn to live alone
my tea grows cold while i hold it
talking to your ghost
hurt past the point of healing
comfortably numb, but always bleeding
i’d swallow my tongue to keep from speaking
living with your ghost
Jay M May 2019
Condemn me to death
Torture this flesh
Still
I will not bow
To your empty lies

Here I stand
Alone in the rain
I tread upon the cobble
Absorbing my surroundings
An emotional sponge

A constant tug-of-war
Meet the expectations
Try to live their dreams
Or
Give in
Let go
Don't be their puppet

Choose, **** it!

Well,
More so **** me

When did I
Become so cold?
When did I
Become so numb?

Where's the person I used to know?
Where are my feelings?
Scattered about
Lost to one another
Making me unable to function
I want to feel something
Be normal
It crashes around me
I just watch it

Lifted up
Told all is well
Groomed by lies
Held by the demons
Painted like faces I know
Then pricked
By their thorns
Of reality

Bleeding
Dripping
Maybe one day
They would see it
But no
5 years and still
They see a "happy" child

The closer they try to get
The more hurt I make them
So then
I push them away
Save them from myself...
From this monster I have become

Listening to my heart
Not the lub-dub it's supposed to be
Whispering to me
Spiders webs swaying
One bites
My blood is the venom
Black as my tainted soul

Tired of living with no defense
Can you understand
Where I'm coming from?
I'm sick of surviving
When I'm supposed to be living...

- Jay M
May 27th, 2019
I suppose this is everything, all in one.
Anna Postrero Oct 15
And I’m not gonna lie, say I’ve been alright
Cos it feels like I’ve been living upside down
What can I say?
I’m surviving
Crawling out these sheets to see another day
What can I say?
I’m surviving
And I’m gonna be fine, I’m gonna be fine, I think I’ll be fine...
Zack Ripley Oct 5
Hiding how you feel isn't lying.
In fact, for some people,
It's a form of surviving.
It may not be the healthiest way to heal;
Ignoring the pain and feelings
To the point It's not real.
But do whatever it takes
To see tomorrow.
Karijinbba Oct 4
More often than not
one is fated to continue loving
a lost great love misunderstood
as regrets teaching self love
expanding to others
is healthier to living
then surviving in daily
worthless pain that hating is.

I wanted to know true love
in this life time.
To meet great wise souls,
but mostly haters came to me as
stranglers boa constructors
mendicants greedy blood
hungry Alien moths
attracted mostly to my light.

Snakes slidered around
my tini cradle in my parents
forestlands, one bit my leg!
Through life, it was the most benevolent of my attackers!
My uncle's malignant
child predator his jealous
viper wife Roselia was as evil
marriage to my spoiling paternal uncle didn't change her ways.
.
Roselia murdered my two baby brothers David Sanchez and half brother blue eyed Antonio Chavez G.
She devil left me
internally bleeding dying requiring surgery to save my life
.
I ran away at age seven
surviving that ugly predator
in her jealous rage towards my
naive un-protective ignorant
unfit widow mother!
Later on, running from this nightmare two human predators
fathered my three precious kids
Jealous Greek Medeas tortured
my newborn babes in Calamata and Athens Charalambos
(haralobo) Kiriaki and her family
poisoned us three for years and
a lifetime trashed me to those who were deafly jealous of me in USA.
Henry R, W remained
a Charles Manson advocate in CA
he is and his evil sister Liz his sterile ex-girlfriend all high on ******* almost turned me into Sharon Tate!
trashing me for being an RH -O-
Back in 1983 to steal my children and sell them for ******* dues to whom ever bailed them out
a hate crime against me a Mexican born a Mom struggling to stay alife all alone beautiful in and out purple heart Mom;
an immigrant running for my life saving whatever the vipers left of my 3 baby girls and myself!
I couldn't find a single friend in USA
My Josie-Rosie my sassy, required surgery on her sternum chest
to save her life.
We are hated for surviving them all
foes ditching their death dice each time they tried stocking me and baby girls everywhere we went.
Elizabeth W G even bought me a fraudulent life insurance sold my medical records to thugs in the medical LA care fields
in LA CA USA hating me
for succeeding in all they have failed.
For my heart, my perseverance!
for my lovev to my children.

I was so battered myself I feared going public but my silence allowed enemies to return to trash me to my kids and harm them some more I couldn't save them they were assimilated drugged compromised and blackmailed.

I have not seen my grown kids in eons
just to not to spike the demented jealousy in those thugs
they now call friends enemies
who took my place in their life.
the witch hunt must end
for God is stronger then evil doers.
That deadly enemy used drugs to lure my 2 sons in law trashing me
  to them too beyond repair.

They think they won but God's justice shall prevail to avenge some justice
for me and my blindsided children
whom I birthed adored raised schooled my gifted high IQ'd kids.
I saved their life a million times
my motherly rights shall resume.
as God is my witness
evil just can't prevail forever.

True love divine found me too.
in all areas of life that may matter
the all wholly good ways.
That unforgettable true love
had left me behind shredded.
alone misunderstood;
Afterwards misery and pain
was all I found as you read above.
but my heart of gold knows how to love no scorn in me hides only love.
Is it better to have love and lost?
This purple heart Mom knows
what true love is though.

What to be in love is like,
when a special human being
fell in love with me too.
When my children deep down understand we are all victims of same evil enemies
my kids love themselves and me their good life saving caring heroic Mom.
deep down, my children adore me Angel Mom, remembered well.
their Mexican-American Mestizo French mix Mom pride and joy
Mexican lives matter too!

I am glad I was your Mother
(my lala, my sassy, my coco)
Patricia Angela, Josephine Rose,
Michelle J San-Gutier.
I am giving you three new names
for good luck, new beginning!
kiss my grandkids for me
their true maternal grandma.
with much much love.

And to me all, all this,
it made all the difference.
sigh..
~~~~~~~~
By:Karijinbba
Copy Rights
2020
To the loves of my life my grown daughters my grandkids and my first
and last love JPCRk
as for my unprovoked jealous enemies.
My children and grandkids belong to my heart to God not to you snakes in our paradise!
we aren't dogs nor cats not for sale!
your evil deeds are destroyed with truth.
Charalambos haralobo serial killer human trafficking predator: Kiriaki Mantalozis, Elizabeth W G Henry R W
Arthur and Susan W. Raitano
chikd tiryurer Judy A
you are trash thieves human ptedators racist biggots
human trafficants with agendas
sociopaths I give you all ten traits of narcissist personality. I didn't make you sterile you were born that way God is wise in who to make a Mother and who not to but the devil births and feeds thugs like yourselves
to steal treasures and feel important because without victimizing innocents you have no life at all.
As God is my witness you all shall rip what bitterness you inflicted unprovoked..
NO means NO means NO means NO

I am truth
Truth, you'll never know

The one who turns a NO to YES
To suit them best
To rob what isn't theirs

The one who turns a NO to YES
Will never feel Truth's caress

Will never feel the raw beauty
Of living with integrity

NO means NO means NO means NO

We both know it's time for you to go.
Did I stutter?
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