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Daylight 4U2C Feb 2014
Sleep.
Sleep child,
til' the light overpowers the darkness inside,
where I secretly cried.
I secretly tried,
but no one would guess,
and I never put my cards face up.
It's only ketchup.
Used to patch up,
the cut and scratch ups,
caused by the dull
of my pencil,
and my soul.
I fell,
but I dragged myself up again,
back into my daily skin,
and I'm that burden.
That one whose not fully there,
told by everyone, "you just don't care",
with a random shudder scare.
The words I despise you all think,
even the shrink,
and it drowns me to the sink.
I'm that disaster,
everyone's after,
maniacal laughter.
"Am I losing my mind?"
"Is this mind really mine?"
"Would dying be fine?"
I'm not so refined :)
I can see the things in perfect imagery,
things I don't want to see,
always worried everyone hates me.
I can't see,
I'm not me,
I'm not even a somebody.
Maybe inside is some other ghost,
I'm the host,
at my death let's just have a toast.
Til' death do we part,
take it as a new start,
buy the roses to my grave from walmart.
I didn't think I mattered anyways,
sleeping through these pass-me-by days,
my mind playing simon says.
I always secretly try,
but I am still I,
and now simon says ".....goodbye."
please comment
Genevieve Apr 2014
I DONT WANT PEOPLE
TO THINK
THEY HAVE TO
DEAL WITH ME
JUST BECAUSE
YOU ARE MY FRIEND
I UNDERSTAND
YOU WANT TO HELP
BUT YOU ******* CANT
AND THATS ALRIGHT.


I CANNOT HELP FEELING LIKE THIS.

DO NOT FEEL USELESS
WHEN I AM;
BREAKING DOWN
AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS
‘Its going to be okay’
BECAUSE THATS ALL
YOU CAN DO,
ENCOURAGING WORDS
ARE ENOUGH;
YOU ARE TRYING
TO HELP.

I DONT WANT
TO BE YOUR PROBLEM
IM NOT ANYONES PROBLEM
BUT MY OWN
.
I DONT WANT PEOPLE
TO FEEL
WORTHLESS
JUST BECAUSE;
THE CHEMICALS
IN MY BRAIN,
ARE NOT RIGHT;
OR IM JUST HAVING
A BAD DAY,
AND I NEED SOMETHING
TO TAKE MY MIND
OFF THINGS.
SOMETHING TO EASE
THE FEELING.


DONT SAY SORRY
THAT YOU CANNOT FIX ME;
AS YOU WATCH ME
INHALE CIGARETTE SMOKE,
FILLING MY LUNGS
WITH POISON THAT
NUMBS MY BRAIN
FOR A WHILE.

IM SORRY
IM SO COMPLICATED,
IM SORRY IM NOT OKAY

(I’m sorry I’m shouting)

BUT THIS IS HOW
MY MIND SOUNDS,
ALL THE TIME
AND
I CANNOT FIND QUIET;
EVEN IN THE DARK CORNERS
THE CRACKS OF MY SKULL
AND THE CREVICES
OF MY BRAIN
Daylight 4U2C Apr 2014
I'm an *** of a friend, and I sowwy.
Waking you up for my problems, I know.
Always bugging you about my insecurities.
I swear, wrecking you life's not my goal.
I get mad at you when I have dog days.
And I'm too shy, to pummel those who talk ****.
But I swear to you, this is not what I'm trying to do.
This is not what you deserve.
This is not what you should get.

You never whine to me.
I don't know how you keep things confined,
but ya know, maybe im wrong.
Maybe there is no sorrow inside.

What I'm trying to say is..
thank you for being there.
For holding me up ALLL the time.
Thank you and you're the best,
I would always offer up,
and break you out,
if you committed crime
^^ to all those besties who get treated like crap, but still care about someone.
Genevieve Apr 2014
I don’t want you to think I’m crazy
I’d rather tell you
I’m fine
Then have to explain
That the screaming in my head
Is getting too much
And that really
It’s just me talking to myself
I guess I’m scared
In case the voices shout at me
For trying to ask for help

I’d rather tell you
I’m fine
Then have to explain
That the voices in my head
That tell me
I’m not good enough
That tell me I should **** myself
That you don’t really like me
That no one really cares
Are actually my own

I’d rather tell you I’m fine
Then have to say aloud
That the only thing on my mind
Is the hundreds of ways
I have planned to **** myself

Or that I want to
Cut my skin open
Just to feel something more
Than this numbness
In hope that i can
Set the demons free
Because they hide
In my bones
And run through my blood
In my veins
Deep beneath my skin
mary Apr 2014
I look into the mirror,
with the same eyes that looked
upon my younger self,
and decided to destroy her.

The same eyes that looked into mine,
and consequently forgot to say,
that they cared for so many years.

The same eyes that avoid all contact,
for weeks at a time,
yet meet with cowardice frequently.

My eyes have seen darkness,
my own destruction,
for years on years.

His eyes tell me that he began,
to lock his gun cabinet,
but knows that there is more ways,
to **** someone than bullets.

I guess his eyes speak more,
than he believes them to,
but you can't put a lock,
on the silence I must live in.
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