Why is it when I close my eyes I can no longer see the light where has it gone why are you no longer leading me home? Home where I use to stare into your eyes hold you in my arms and feel like nothing could bring us apart but yet I **** up like I said I would in the very beginning and you say you wont and I pray to god you wont,ill ask for forgiveness over and over even if it may never come but just promise me you'll stay I can't go through hell alone but when your by my side hell isn't even there you showed me what heaven was and what an angels beauty looked like, please don't torment me youd be the one i never thought would but i know you wont because your all still there your whole and im as broken as can be but just let me hold you again and i swear on it it will mend my broken soul

As lost as a child stranded in a forest no hope no one to save me yet that's when you found me when I  was about to give up i was torn my heart was broken and you mended that broken heart made it whole again you stayed next to me till i was healed and brought me back to life but not my old life a new one with where i never see darkness only the beauty of light and within that light there you stand, no darkness no sadness i have you to lighten my world and my heart has never beated  faster then when im with you it's a new me a new life and with it your their and that's all i could ask for

Was never that kid who grew up believing in fairy tales or ever believed in my dreams ever coming true but as time goes on I realize possibly one of my biggest dreams has come true , ive spent many nights waiting for the charon to sail away with me and go on a one way journey to the gates below yet here we stand I know now with you by my side I feel more complete I feel my heart mended and like I was reborn guess it really is true that two halves make a whole, would you believe that dreams really do come true I never knew till I met you, eyes like the prettiest diamonds,a voice that could make millions feint, a personality that is so unique you could never put a price on it and at last a kiss that makes time freeze and grants the ability to feel free and be at the happiest moment you could ever imagine and with those said a million more could be said with a never ending list of your perfections and with that I may add my last few words.. Dreams really can come true <3

I may not be able to form the words so they are only about you but also about what you have done for me, I use to walk around with my shadow bigger than me blocking the sun never seeing the light and try my best to make my way home and bottle up my emotions yet this year you've removed that shadow shown me the light, you opened that bottle and let my emotion flow towards you and not only that i was like a stray dog going from house to house running around the city trying to find someone to love me and take me into there home yet no matter how hard i tried no one would take me in yet once again here you come arms wide open taking me into your home and showing you love me that's all a lost dog needs to be happy is love and a home and you have done way more than just that. But enough about that more importantly this is for you, you have a personality that pulls people towards you and they don't want to leave but why would they? You make anyone you see happy just your smile alone can brighten up someone's day way more than the sun ever could and not only that as your probably tired of hearing this by now but you have the beauty of a thousand moons, the gorgeousness of the coolest tides and are the prettiest of all snow flakes. Although you are my lil avocado you will never understand how much you truly mean to me how just your smile makes me feel like I'm on a different planet and takes the pain away as fast as light travels to earth. My words run short towards you but not because of lack of things to say  but because there isn't enough space anywhere to hold how much could be said about you. Your endlessly perfect personality can not be shown enough through words but hopefully through the thought of the perfections that come from it. Your personality is truly the number one thing about you and I know it always will be your personality is carved into stone to last a life time as long as all your perfections

Im broken yet fixed, lost yet known, dazed but starin straight guess what I'm trying to say is I have you, nah not like how I wish I had you but your in my life and a guy like me couldn't be happier I can't help but write about you I can't get you out of my head your a drug that I'm addicted to but your my drug of love happiness and you make me feel alive I look into your eyes and all I see is a whole new world that I want to get lost in, but I am happy especially when I see that smile that laugh your voice is soothing, I have to show you I love you always have showed you this but with my poetry I can write exactly what I mean. I had a dream the other day where I was lost in a dark forest and screaming and once I fell to my knees I heard you yell my name I looked up and there you are standing, where in a meadow now sunset glistening behind you swear you looked like an angel even when I sleep at night and still need you, you come to save me, guess that drug has a long term effect makes me daze out focus only on you and it drives me crazy  i constantly see things that remind me of you  but I love it. You've always been my savior and I couldn't thank an angel like you enough is give you the world and nothing would ever stop me from  doing so nothing is too good for you and you deserve it all,I want you to be the happiest just wish I could be the one that gave you happiness, as long as your happy though ill take it your world is my world and all I want and maybe a little more is you to be happy forever and always

Im not saying im perfect but I could change your whole life,im not saying im the best but I do know how to make you smile, im not saying im the one but Id walk to the other side of the world to see you,im not saying im the closest to you but I would see you any and everyday day you wanted me to, im not saying im better im just saying ill always love you till the day I die and all I want is a chance

There isn't a part of me that doesn't wish I hadn't met you, you slowly replace my past with the present and with what's left of the past I fill with you my happiness that you give me could not ever be measured by any means, I've spent most my past stuck in it or staring at the ground. But when I look up I don't see the moon... But I see you, your gorgeous face lights up even the darkest rooms with you I'd never feel lost and when im with you the time freezes and all I see   and all I hear is your voice which is oh so soothing, I just wish I could lay with you and rest my eyes id sleep the best with my arms around you knowing that you are safe and that I can look out for you and protect you.  Im lucky to have you as part of my life but even luckier I get to spend days with you in my company and there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you which is why I wish I could take you out more or buy you more things then I know my money wont be wasted  and ill be able to make someone happy that means a lot to me, I don't know
What id do without you. How is it that you make me feel like your my first love and nothing can hurt me why is it that when your with me I feel complete and like  my world isn't closing in on me? I know why though... Your my world you make me happy as can be you take all my pain away by just simply being by me,how is it that everytime a piece of my heart falls back off there you are ready to fix it and mend it back together...and I am forever grateful for everything you do. Wish there was a better way to end this but here's all i can say, ill forever be yours and within that entitlement I give you the key to my heart because truly I love you and wouldn't want anyone else in the world to have it.

Im not back doing this again like I was  earlier in the week am I no couldn't be its to early for that but I simply can't go without saying,id endure any amount of pain in the world, id endure all of the pain in the world if you would see how much I truly care for you when  im with you there is no moments of sadness just like there arnt any moments without laughter my smile has never been bigger and I've never been more myself around a girl like you. I've been broken yes yet you continue to mend me each time no longer just my heart but all of me and I no longer care how many times im broken only because I know you'll be close by ready to mend me. Memories of us constantly tangle around in my mind some of which hurt like crazy but I adore them to much to let them go, tis I am your lover and I shall never let any moment pass without it being already concealed in my head you are by far the best thing that has happened in my life


So I can't think of a time where I have ever really just wrote out my feelings and I honestly don't know how much ill be able to right I've waited all day to right this till im about to pass out so I don't second guess a single **** word I say and im not going to read it until after I have shown you so it can be the most honest thing I have ever said in my life( I am so so sorry if I say anything ******* up but to be honest within this honesty this is stuff I've wanted to tell you for awhile) so here it goes I don't even know where to start I guess all the ay back freshman year, im not gonna like I liked you at first a long with everybody else but im not like everyone else im the one who strives to be different so when everyone else was trying to go and date you for you looks(im assuming so since they jumped for you as soon as they saw you) I decided to get to know you after you started talking to me of course( thank gawd you did) I developed an attachment early on to you of course being blinded by your beauty but I refused to go try and date you( this is a huge regret of mine) I've told you this oh what would a beautiful girl like this want with a guy like me? Right? Like i was awkward and weird and scared. But throughout that year you continued to talk to me and im pretty sure you know every detail of my life starting just a few months after I had met you. But I liked you then and it only grew stronger but then I didn't talk to you for awhile then I saw you again sophmore year for that brief amount of time f*ck I wish that time wasn't so brief but this is the past and im here to tell you about the now,why you saw me shed tears( which im sorry you saw that but your the first person that has ever been there for me when I cried that I can remember) but here is where it makes me sad yet angry it hasn't been till this year that I realized I loved you.( yes this is where all that I've said in my poetry and thought in my head is going to come out) I think back on it how we have always been and how you've always treated me and I realized just as friends you where better than any girlfriend I have had. I don't have a clue how I can show you how much I do, or even say it I can try to compare my love for you if that helps. Think of every star in the universe lets say each one of them said I love you on it that still wouldn't be even close to how many times I wish I could say I love you. Take all the money in the world and say I can have that or you, id rather be working all week with school making just enough to get by as long as it ment I could see you everyday and tell you I love you.( I want to put as much emotion into this so as of what im feeling right now im kinda ******* up) I just I do love you lily so so much wayyyy more than you even realize and probably ever will realize. (here's where I say were all this heartache comes from) I hate that im not with you though,I hate I can't hold you kiss you and get lost in your eyes I hate that I can't be something with you when I know it would feel so right. I am uber jealous of your duder and I get almost ******* when I hear his name... Why? Because its not my name. Do I have a reason to hate him? Yes not a good one but the fact that he could treat you so much better, I know I know you think what you have is great and I know he's had a hard life but we all have you yourself has a hard life, but just because someones life is hard doesn't mean you have to stay(I say this expecting that if my life ever becomes bad and somehow effects you to where it stresses you I don't want you to stick around I want you to be happy and live your life) and I know now you'll say your duder does make you happy and im sure he does and im going to sound like an ******* for a second but every fiber screams at me to finally just say this and let it out..i know I could improve your life I could make so many things different but I don't want you to be mad at me I don't want you to hurt I don't want you to feel pain, trade with me ill take all your pain if it means you'll be painless, you can punch and scream at me if it makes you feel less stressed im here to make you happy to make sure your life Is going, why do you think I look forward to first hour so much I get to see the girl I love.first thing jeez that's second best to waking up to her. But there's so much more to this story now its just going to become randomness I tried hard to keep it organized for you but here's what I got  left. I love you.. So ******* much I left behind my past so if I ever have a chance I can wait till your ready, I was getting really close to al again she might have even been willing to give me a chance if I kept up but I couldn't. I don't want to be with my past I want my present love and I honestly believe now that I look back on it you where my first true love and that's why I have always looked out for you always made sure your ok.id do anything for you, id sit in hell if it would preserve a spot for you in heaven because you are an angel you belong with the rest. Not only that you made me feel emotion like a normal person again but mostly you make me feel truly loved and here I go on this again lily I love you so so much I want to be able to show you I want to be able to tell you how much I do but no matter how hard I try I can't think of anything that's what I mean when I say my brain is constantly spinning im always trying to find a way to show you how my one true feelings are about you and I know for a fact its love, you got me losing my mind( but who am I kidding its been gone) but you see I would go through any amount of pain or torture or stress or just anything id give it my all just to be able to call you mind especially with someone as perfect as you. You still have no flaws that pertain to you I know I always bring up your looks but to me that's not what has my heart its our minds we are entwined (that the right word? Maybe I should have done this while I was more awake, but you know what I was going for) we are the same mentally and in some ways physically and that's just whoa crazy but even that's nit the reason I love you although definitely part of it. You ready though for why I truly love you? I can't imagine being with anyone else that makes me as happy as you make me your smile just makes me slip into another dimension your voices cages me and keeps me from moving away and then last the way you speak pulls me in but the thing is I don't need to run I want to be stuck with you, your the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can guarantee ever will but once again im ok with that because as I could never say enough I love you I love love love love you so very much and I hate I couldn't say this to you but if I couldn't get through typing this without tearing up I would have never been able to say it in person. Im giving you my heart lily and I don't want you to ever give it back, it's forever yours my love of a lifetime, I wish so so much I could call you babe I know that sounds weird but there is just this idk i like how it sounds and how it feels when i call you babe for me it feels oddly complete well not oddly but you know. I can't write  anymore I feel like I should  I want to I just I can't think of how to tell you I

I
IM
IM S
IM SO
IM SOR
IM SORR
IM SORRY
IM SORRY I
IM SORRY IM
IM SORRY IM N
IM SORRY IM NO
IM SORRY IM NOT
IM SORRY IM NOT P
IM SORRY IM NOT PE
IM SORRY IM NOT PER
IM SORRY IM NOT PERF
IM SORRY IM NOT PERFE
IM SORRY IM NOT PERFEC
IM SORRY IM NOT PERFECT

im afraid the sun doesnt wait for me in the morning
im afraid people will love me for the wrong reasons
im scared of people understanding art one day
im scared people will look at me and think of me as an ideal teen dreamer
im afraid the stars are just reflections of the people who are sad
im afraid my soul is decaying as i think of ways to save myself
im afraid to let go of my mothers hand during prayer
im afraid of speaking up to my preacher about the doubts ive written about the bible
im afraid people will find out what type of photgraphy i like
im afraid people will make fun of the music i listen to before i sleep
im afraid the government keeps track of my internet history
im afraid of falling in love with the devil
im afraid of wonders i could have never thought of
im afraid im just another one Gods children
im afraid im just another one of those puppets Lucifer controls
im afraid of the eyes i look into when i look at the mirror
im afraid of a lot of things
im afraid of my mom not coming home one day
im afraid churches are illusions of a peaceful place
im afraid the only peaceful place is your heart
im afraid the only safe place is between your arms
im afraid i only feel peace when im kissing you
im afraid to live
im afraid to die
im afraid of myself