they think I’ve been sleeping in hell

I pulled at the roots
but he didn’t budge
so I left him in the ground
and I sat and thought
“maybe he’s not ready”

you yell at the moon for your anger,
but this time I am the moon

honey heals my bruises
milk heals my cuts
buttercream heals my scars
and you heal my heart

scratch at the ceiling
tear the seams
cry for help
go back to sleep

the chocolate melted in my mouth
as fast as you slipped away from me

I feel like I need to spill my feelings
into some other coffee.

should I do for me or
should I do for commonality?

I need to ***** my tears
into the black hole of the void

he loves me,
he loves me not,
he loves me,
he loves me not
he loves me
so I tell him I love him
the daisy told me
he does too
but he doesn't
so daisies fade in my mind
and rose petals bleed out of my broken heart

‘I need help’

I said as I grasped for words to describe the un describable

‘You’re fine’

My hands slipped off the mountain as I feel into the colorless void

My chest hurts
I’m breathing rocks
The expression on my face
No one shall ever see

I dove through a deep sea of myself
to find the crystal
I had been looking for all along

the buttercream colored streets
crumble under my feet

honey pours over sunflower seeds
like the tears on my cheeks

I tried to defy it,
but I just undermine it every time

I picked the words out of his soul one by one
Then I instantly put them back
Because he didn’t know who he was

i know
i have no worth
i know
i can't help it
i know
i'm the opposite of pretty
i know
i know

there’s a fragment of my mind which says
‘the darkness is your home.’

Water fills my lugs till the point where I don't
have space
like a field of lavender flowers
where I'll stay
forever

the soap layers my body,
as I wash away the memories from you

are you still alive sweetpea?
sometimes i think i'm dead but i'm still here.

lukewarm freckles berade my skin
like soldiers to the sea

they tell me how to live my life
and do you know the funny thing about that?
the funny thing is,
is that they don't know the nights
the reasons
that's lead to the bags under my eyes

you ask me how I feel,
and I want to tell you that my lungs ache
but I just smile and walk away
from those maple toned eyes

the moon cries like milk over stars,
the sun cries like fire over me

I tap my nails
Nervously
Remembering what you said

peachy dreams
splatter down with the sunset

perfect is
being imperfect

In the garden
tomatoes crushed under my feet
and juice flowed out
just like how you
crushed my heart
and fragments bled around

tears feel good on my raw, cut skin
maybe that's why i cry so much

it hurts
but at least
I don’t have to
think about you

her bare toes touch the
wet grass,
the bottoms of her feet
now covered in mud
her feet are the garden
growing fresh movements
her mind is the water
nourishing the herbs

you write letters on my back
as you would with paper
the words
not so fragile
as for my skin to shatter
would be good for you
because the words you wrote
are very true

my silk tears slide down my raw face
for you're the one who birthed them

I don't feel comfortable in
my own skin
so I wear the skin of others
to comfort my being

serein touches my fingertips
so sour, but so sweet

deep breaths,
as you paint your stars
extend them into constellations
then galaxies
and a whole new darkness begins

it’s as if I grow taller
as the sun grows colder
as the world stops for a second
as I fall in

The words bleed out
As you tell me
About the monsters
In your mind

the jacket curls around me
like your arms used to

Sometimes so many ideas
are rushing through my head
That I cry tears
Of words

your intensity brought out the wild flowers

watch the ball of fire
slowly trickle into the rubble
as the young lady’s
smile turns upside down
her crystals lay so peacefully
upon her cauldron shelf
the book in which her spells lay
is magic like the stars
the candles are dancing with fire
around the a big book
watch the ball of fire
fly above the rubble
spitting fireworks
into smoke
and her frown into a smile