Call me a lover
and I will redefine
what your
heart thought
love was and jolt
it with beats
that make
nations dance

I held a pencil
the other day
and the magic of passion
took my hand to paper
and my mind
to places
that I wish
to share
with you

There's a secret
religion
only those
who seek solace
in moon-ly conversations
believe in

A secret cult
only for those
who conduct
conversations
in silence

An underground
society that
thrives on
a separate entity
consisting of
2

What's in a title
but a taste of what's to come
what's in the first word
that lurked in the writer's mind
followed by a flood
of words

What's in the first glance
at the capital letter resting above all
but a rush of curiosity
to dissect the ideas later

What's in the boldness of it
but the courage to stand tall
and heavy with the bulk of the story

What's in the thought behind it all
but a chaotic idea
brought
to balance the tumultuous
ramblings
of a scared mind
only alive
under a title
in bold and capital

Flip me to the side
where my darkest days
have a ball

Flip me to the side
where my innocence
dissolves into mature
realizations

Flip me to the side
where my naivety
transforms me
into a woman of rationale

Flip me to the side
where my smiles
are only read
by those close

Flip me to the side
where my chest
holds nothing more
but tar infused lungs
protecting a heart
that's too strong
to be loved

Flip me to the side
where my anger burns
through the ocean blue
of my eyes

Flip me to the side
where I no longer
hand you my knife
to stab me
in the back

Flip me to the side
where you'd meet me
undressed from all
the chains
that held me back
from speaking my mind
because
"good girls
say nothing"

The music of you
is too strong
that's why my poetry
is silent

I sought you in heartbreak
I sought you behind doors
I even sought you alone
in the dark where my
candle light shone

I sought you in my hell
I sought in my heaven
I even sought you
when I mentally traveled

I sought you for therapy
I sought you for peace
I sought you when no drugs
could bring any ease

I sought you in times of anger
I sought you in times of love
I sought you when battles twisted
my tongue with wars
that were not worth of

I sought you in my sleep
I sought you in dreams
I sought you with pens and pencils
aching to fabricate futures
that exist in my mind
where they fixture

I sought you drunk
oh, I did
I created love stories
fantasies, tragedies too
even some ***** thoughts
that my mind could not endure

I sought you in confusion
hoping as stanzas flow
so will the solutions too

I sought you in prayer
on paper, on walls
on my palms too
so that when I lay my hand on my chest
my heart could read them
and beat in rest ...

I sought you in others
prodigies and peasants
I sought you in twisted art
and wordy inspirations

I sought you boring afternoons
and rowdy dancing
I sought you in my memory
hoping you'd stay
and make it to my paper

I sought you in song
I sought you in blank papers
I sought in 4 am's
when my mind is diluted with chemicals
that danced with every idea
every thought
before it flees with dawn

I sought you in him and her
I sought you in messy bedsheets
and crisp bright dawns
when my skin crawled
with goosebumps
reminiscing about
yesternight’s
escapades

Silly sullen sentences
strut in my brain
boiling baffling batches
of cluttered dust-bunnies
creating a babel tower of
lost love lullabies
slowly
decaying, dying, drifting
Wet your quill
with the ink of now
write new lulls
swaying your pendulum
between your now's
and what's yet to come

My vision
seeks you
like an
escaping sun ray
through a grey
cloudy sky
clear
and bright

A writer
in love
puts all
the effects
of recreational
drugs
to shame
A writer in love
levitates
A writer in love...
Oh God Have Mercy
for pen shall burn on paper

I have always dreamt of a lover
whose complexion teases mine
with its darkness
that sun-kissed muscular
physique

I have always dreamt of a lover
whose arms embrace me
pull my pieces together
after I myself have been shattered

I have always dreamt of a lover
who will "woo me with his words" (quoted)
as I fall into slumber after a drunken night

I have always dreamt of a lover
who will draw me and curve my silhouette
into the most beautiful muses

I have always dreamt
isn't that the best
part?

Foolish, faulty
         feathers of quill
                                     Create
         Dizzy, drunk,
                  doodles on paper
        
                                            Drizzling
               Intense, irreversible
                                                Ink
                                                        Spilling
                          Curious, chaotic
                                            chemical imbalances  
                                                                ­               E
                                                                                   n
                                                                                      d
                                                                                         l
                                                                                            e
                                                                                               s
                                                                                                  s
                                                                                                    l
                                                                                                      y

The naked truth
is nature's
most seductive
aphrodisiac

I lost myself once
I fell for music
I succumb to the beats
as they stripped my layers
one by one

I lost myself once
I fell for my curiosity
as it lead me down paths
I never knew were paved

I lost myself once
I fell for the handsome boy
with a rotten core
as it deceived my naive being

I lost myself once
I fell for my selfishness
that uncovered deep embedded cravings
and that was fine

I lost myself once
I fell for myself
which lead me down the road
of self discovery
and to my surprise was not as ugly

I lost myself once
I fell for the night
with all its seductive mystery
forgetting how silly felt so lovely

I lost myself once
I fell for him and her
I fell for mornings and nights

I lost myself once
and met great people
whose heart was as beautiful as their faces
I shook hands with those
whose love glowed in their aura
and whose understanding was as discrete as mine

I lost myself once
and sat next to those
who showed the same fear
I had, when it came to breaking the barriers
that guarded their hearts so carefully

I lost myself once
and realized I was found
in
every
word
I
wrote

when did you lose yourself
fully?
Trust me its
a wild trip
full of
ambiguity

Shrug it off darling,
all birds
need to fly
some know
their way back
others
find new ones..

Shrug it off..
some birds might
stay and dance
with every
shrug..

I crashed my doubts
on the shore of the unknown
and they dissipated between
the sand grains of certainty
till they settled in the dark
away from my
meddling mind

My eyes blink
with every
tic
the hands
of a clock
toc
giving me
a new perspective
of
you
every... time

It rained
everyone was drunk
on the idea of cuddling
and love

Especially when it gets cold
the merciless wind
surprises your skin
all alone
with no one to hold

It rained
and every one was drunk
on coupling
but I
I got trashed
with the rain
all alone
walking on the sidewalk
gulping every strand of rain
falling for the cold
creating a relationship
by myself
with
every
drop
that touched my skin

I got intoxicated
with the freeing feeling
of freedom

I wrote on damp paper
with shaking cold hands
"Thank you"

and watched as every droplet
traced its path
down my piercing locks

My sky
turned greyer
as he held the
cover of our chapter
and slowly closed it
shadowing  
the sunlight
that burned its pages
with love stories
every day
together
and
a    
        p      
                          a    
                                   r            t

Shake the cobwebs
that have stilled the beats
that silently thud in your core

Step into the light
fear has only kept you
in the shadows of your past

Liberate your true self
from the ribcage that
confined it to a comfort zone
that has been your sanctuary
for quite some time
or so you thought

Just take a deep breathe
walk past it
curiosity can
only
stir
you

Your body
(h)as bec(o)me
a temp(l)e
onl(y)
fit
for
believers

There are scenes
I'd like to rewind
some delete
others re-shoot
ones to work on
in post production
shots to subtitle
some record  
and others
replace
to finally watch
it like a movie

I saw a clear black line
the other day
It was as grim as their pale faces
their blank expressions
reflected the missing person
the one whose story as met its end

I stood there across from their tears
and wondered, to what caliber of sympathy
does my heart ally with theirs

Their shoes were too black to fit
their faces where too apathetic to confront

It was black in all sense of the color
it was grim, even nature felt the emptiness
I stood there, I noticed
that humans and their emotions
are as distinguished
as their features

Sympathy is just a term
coined to soothe to comfort
but never truly felt
for my heart
will
never be like yours
nor
yours like
mine

Head first
stumbled on the pebbles
of doubt
as it cautiously
stepped on each one
testing the strength of its base
before moving to the next
because, "now we know better"

Eyes then
scanned the surrounding
as they slowly blended
what they see and what they saw
into one beautiful reality
because "time"

Touch after,
the skin since it passed over
the heaps of days, months
and years that aged gracefully
into the most intricate lines
that are shunned by many
but I praise
and call "wrinkles"

Smell later
the musky smell
of your current being
fermented with experience
rich taste and oh so "you"

Fall,  
away from the warning signs
since falling now
sounds like such a
good idea

Avoid the game
of (r)eading
betw(e)en the lines
(a)nd actually
read
my
(l)ines

"What happened along the way?"
as she looked back to see
her lines crooked, her ink melted
and her pages torn apart
from the book that held her
together

I always told
you
you'(r)e
too precious
to be
me(a)su(r)(e)d

Baby, break me more
there's nothing
that turns me on
than the sound
of the cracks
as they mark
my heart

Break me more
for my muses
yearn for broken
chaos to ignite
that burning passion
gliding and guiding
my hand on that
blank paper

Break me, my dear
for I have conjured
spells that translate
into novels and poems
that stir my soul
only when it's
broken

Break me
I have fallen
for
broken

She tangled herself
with her own stories
legs tied with guilt
and mind free to roam
curious of what's out there

She confused realities
with dreams, she diluted them
with ice cubes
to chill the hot pounding in her heart

She confessed her sins
and graffitied them on walls
hoping others will relate
and connect with that messy fate

Days are silly and nights too
why take things seriously
she asks herself before her waking hours are due

Why stutter and stumble
on pebbles of hesitation
when your heart is in overdrive
and never asking for directions?

Why panic and gag over anxiety
when it lingers in your throat
long enough for you to *****?

It's been a while
your heart is rusty
add some acid, wash it off
it will fool you oh it will
but darling
what's better than a fool
who knows himself
to be one
and willingly
fearlessly
welcomes
all sense
of
spontaneity

I giggled when
I heard them say
things about me

"Sharpens pencil"

(I)
a(l)most said it
but I
f(o)und
m(y)self
fa(v)(o)(u)ring  
a blunt pencil,
and a
burning
pap(e)r
instead

Your voice
b lll uuuuu rrrrr eeee dddddd my own
Be shhhhh(quiet)hhhhhh..
I am /ˈlɪs(ə)n/ing
there's a whole
track list I missed
that doesn't play
your name
over
and
over
and
over

Her eyes dimmed
with every blink
that sparkle dissolved
in that black hole
that centered in the middle
of the pale blue eyes

Her body fluctuated
letting go of all things youth
from the tightness of her skin
to the fresh round cheeks
that once screamed health

Her hair darkened
those golden curls
straightened their act
falling on her hollow cheeks

Her neck that once stood tall
hid behind her gigantic scarves
keeping its seductive scent to her
and her alone

Her belly that once digested
the harshest of adventures
lay there, barely full

Her legs that danced with the moon
and ran with the sun, shivered
every time they pounded the pavement

Her fingers that once
narrated a sea of stories in a day or two
but now lay there helplessly
with no pen to hold
no inspiration to burn
within

It was the first time
she stared at a blank page
and shrugged her shoulders
and said "so what"

that was the moment
her muse
fell down to her knees
and cried rainfalls
of tears

For once
I put my heart on hold
and it failed
to stop beating

For once
I detached it
from my body
and it failed
to stop feeling

For once
I scolded it
for feeling so much
and it failed
to stop giving

For once
I told it
to take a break
and it failed
to listen

For once
I ignored it
and it failed
at keeping me
at peace

If space and time
were to entwine
I'd loop through
the galaxies
with fantasies
infinite times
in my mind

Over stars and black holes
comets and planets
If only time and space
were to entwine
infinity would turn
into my everyday

I have the ability
of falling in love
in a second
a minute
a moment
a day
infinitely
all
at the
same time

I have never felt
this humiliated and betrayed
by my heart

It looked at my life
and beat that strong thud
that sent my foot
pushing down on the ground
in staccato
telling me "enough"

Go ahead
undress your mind
my eyes
can't wait
to see ...
my skin
can't wait
to feel
and my
mind can't
wait to
play

Some remain
pouring emotions
involuntarily
giving, providing

Some embrace
some comfort
with no conditions

Some stay
regardless, they care
they kiss,
their minds and hearts
join forces to soothe the world
between, within

Some calm
aid, make a presence
some are here
and stay here

They love

Some eyes glisten
hands sweaty
uncontrolled smile
I don't know what it is

Some look
it's not any look
it's a look that floods
your vision with your view
that center of attention

Some giggle
it's the butterflies
they flutter in your stomach
their untamed nature
makes its way to your face
your mouth
your mind

Some fall
into a rabbit hole of your own
through a colored tunnel
that colors your vision
giving you rosey glasses
providing your with a new perspective
a new view, a hue that you and only
you enjoy

Some fall in love!

Let me fall in love
with love
and imagine
the kind of world
around me
that seduces you
to explore
just a bit more

Fall in love with me
and lets love
the fall
with a love
being
in
love

We are as unfinished
as the the limitless
night sky

We are as full of surprises
as the meteor shower
with sudden shooting stars

We are as explosive
as the big bang
births a new galaxy

We are as dangerous
as the burning sun rays
as they flair magically

We are as chemical
as two elements
shy from meeting
in a test tube

We are as messy
as a mental disorder
far from logic
yet so aware of it

We are as passionate
as wine with sunsets
as Shakespearean
romantics

We
simply
just
Are
but
Cannot
be

I called for
the unknown
The universe heard me
and flooded
me with the unexpected
then said
"you never fail
to surprise
me"

Actions don't dictate my behavior
let me latch onto the next bottle
sitting across my vision
settled, calm

Let me drink and word *****
on your shoes
leaving a stench that will remind
you of the hazy days
spent, boozed up

Let me smoke till my lungs
beg for a molecule of oxygen
to freshen it's dank corners

Let me wobble on the sidewalk
reminding my feet which one goes first
let me sway, cursing whatever
injected my heart with a dose
of forbidden feelings

Leave my vision of tomorrow
the same, swallow the the changes
like an unwanted gag
drown it with that burning liquid

Let me be, as if the next encounter
is just seconds away
let me
be

What's happening to you?
Your face blushes
making red roses jealous of your hue

What's happening to you?
You start shaking like a leaf in autumn
weightless and easily moved

What's happening to you?
You never look him in the eye
for fear of being to obvious

What's happening to you?
A single hello makes you curl
like a shy teenager on the verge of experiencing
"emotions"

What's happening to you?
Your old enough to have mastered such things
Your the maestro of your own heartbeats
but there's something different

What's happening to you?
Your shell has hardened enough
to be affected by butterflies
inside and all around

What's happening to you?
are
you
feeling
again?