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Who am I today?
Am I who I want to be?
When have I mattered?
Someone once asked me
what I wanted in life
I said, "To be happy,"
They asked, "Aren't you already happy?"
and I replied, "If only you knew,"
If only she could be 'that girl'

The one that smiled effortlessly
and could act accordingly

To bad it's not that easy
My head hurts
Stop you'll only make it worse

Medicine and time will help
I don't want something from the shelf

I don't want to be an experiment
I don't want to be different

So I hide it from the world
But I just want to be heard

These thoughts in my head
Won't let me go to bed

I feel numb
Happiness never comes

My thoughts are jumbled
My life starts to crumble
I gave you
My heart
Now I’m scared
You’ll take it
Run away
And break it
hello there
it's been a while
i haven't spoken to you in a while
and i think it's fair to say i've changed
changing is hard
and not fun at all
but this is proof
that maybe one day
i can come back
and say hello again
to me from then
from me now
How do you cry for help
When all you know
Is a silent plea?
Never get your hopes too high up
Or they might crash and burn
High school
Either
The best or
Worst days
Of your life

It’s still to be decided for me
How is or was high school?
Him
Him
The way he looks at me,
Eyes so full of awe
Like I’m the prettiest girl in the world,
but also like there’s no one else at all
I can’t help but stare right back
as he tilts his head in question

and asks what I’m looking at

Clearly he doesn’t understand

That I’m looking at him

Him and his smile from ear to ear,

The dimples appearing on his cheeks

His eyes lighting up with no light at all,

but somehow brighter than a thousand suns
I want to go home
But I don’t know where ‘home’ is
What defines your home?
That’s what I am
Don’t bother trying to help
I can’t cope with my problems
With or without your help
So please don’t try
Once a girl lived
Tucked in a house of glass
Kept for so long
Walking over the shards of broken
Things once whole
It hurts
But she's stuck
Little does she know
The key is herself
The broken house her mind
But its impossible
Or so it seems
To escape the house of glass without
Bleeding out
fall in love
see through some rose colored glasses for a while
shatter them
realize you’re seeing clearer than you ever have
enjoy reality
then fall in love again
and pray you don’t make the same mistakes twice
Beauty is in the
Eye of the beholder

Sadly my eye
Is not a fan
Of it’s view
What a shame
We feel the need to hide from the ones we love

If only to avoid the fear of being judged
They say I have no right to feel the way I do,

But guess what?

I do, and there’s nothing you can do to change that...
What will I do when it's all gone?
When I never see it all again?
They say not to worry,
"You'll see them again,"
But how true is that when it could all be gone tomorrow?
like the snap of a finger,
It could all be gone,
Everything I

Hope for

Love

Dream of

Aspire to become


But is all that disappearing really a bad thing?

When it all is over,
No one will remember my name,
or know what I did in my lifetime.

No one even cares even though I am alive
They don't care that I cry myself to sleep
every night.
They don't care if Try to not wake up every morning.
They don't care about The scary thoughts that go through my head all the time.

So is it really that bad if it's gone the next morning?
My mirror only shows me
My imperfections
Soon enough
My imperfections become all I see
I don’t think
You fully understand
The things I go through
You can’t
It’s impossible
Please don’t say
that you do

I don’t think
You can comprehend
The feelings I’m feeling
You can’t
It’s impossible
Please don’t say
That you do

I don’t think
You can fathom
The darkness in my mind
You can’t
It’s impossible
Please don’t say
That you do

I don’t think
You can imagine
The depth of my despair
You can’t
It’s impossible
Please don’t say
You wish you could
im tired of being ridiculed
and not taken seriously
these are my goals
not just another fantasy
I'm sorry I dragged you down
and let you fall in love
I'm sorry I'd rather drown
than look into the sky above

I'm sorry I deceived you
and made you think I'm perfect
I'm trying to get through
and make this all worth it

I'm sorry that I'm wrong
in every way that isn't right
I'm sorry I'm not strong enough
I'm not able to win this fight
An innocent little boy







Too bad nothing lasts forever
I long for the days when
Ignorance was bliss
And
Innocence was kind

Waking up on birthdays
Used to feel full of magic
And special
Like that day
Was mine for the taking

Now
Everyday is the same
Dull and boring
Boring and dull
My birthday was two days ago and even I forgot...
Are you jealous about someone who isn’t yours?






Yeah, me too...
Feeling kinda happy for once
It feels like a dream
And I’m scared to wake up
Where am I, you ask?

Lost in the clutter of my mind

Thoughts all jumbled up
Like a spool of tangled thread
And just as thin
So close to breaking

Fingers get caught
And slowly turn purple
Once released, permanent damage remains

My conscience plays the fingers
My mind the thread

Pull to hard,
the thread snaps
Don’t pull enough,
and it’s forever knotted
Letting go
is the hardest way to flow,

but sometimes,

it has to be done
in order to move on
The uncertainty of life
Is both a curse and blessing
You choose which it is
Where is the manual on life?
Is there one I wasn't informed of?
That says you have to be a certain way?

That you have to be
Perfect?
Normal?
The same?

Because I didn't get one
Shaking

Tunnel vision

Dizziness

No precision

Almost gone

Blurry vision

The world spinning

Vision fades

Lights out

Gone today
I just want to be a normal teen
With the ability to do and say as I please
To not have to be dragged by the sleeve
To and from places I never wanted to be
A little copper penny
Lying alone on the sidewalk

Rained on, stepped on, walked right by

No one cares about a penny
What could it possibly buy?
The sun shines bright in the overgrown meadow
and her soul still lingers in the old house's shadow
Old and decrepit the house may be,
but her soul will live forever,
you'll see....
This was just for fun, and I really like the rhyme scheme and my rythm so I thought I should share it.
We watch for days
To see the results
But little do we know
The worst is yet to come
The uncertainty
Is killing me

No plan
For my path

No stone
To carve

No road
To ride

Lost at sea
No light house to guide me
I've lost my artistic touch
and I've never felt so lost
me
me
you see me as broken
i see me as whole
but its just who i am
engraved in my soul
As I look in the mirror
All I see is me
But a lot more broken
i miss you
there's nothing poetic about it
at all
about and to a lot of people
This armor finally solidifies in its place
To protect me from the demons that come to play

I was told monsters only come out at night
But here they are, ridding my world of any light

They surround me, push me into a chasm so dark, it hurts my eyes,
and tie me So there’s no escape

Help me
Help me please

No armor or weapon can stop these beasts
For nine months straight
You carried my weight

You’ve dealt with my flaws
I’m forever in awe

I love you mom
Forever and on
Rediscovering myself in music
That isn't mine
But is me
The lyrics make me FEEL something
They tell me that there still might be a way back
That I’m going to be ok
But in a way no person can say

There are no words to the indescribable feeling I get when I listen to music
I feel clear headed
I feel open in every way
I feel like there is still something to live for again
That maybe I’m not alone today
That maybe I’m strong enough to fight these battles inside my head for just one more day
I’m starting to feel
Less and less poetic
Like a part of me
Is slowly being drained
But not replaced
Hollow and shallow
I cannot not be a poet
For it has grown to be
A huge important part of me
Assisting in who I am
And what I want to be
But I already feel stranded
Far out in the sea
Nightmares plague my sleep
And my reality
And all the **** time
I have sleep anxiety/ nightmare disorder, sometimes insomnia. So whenever I do get sleep, it’s never restful. I often wake in the middle of the night, scared and shivering, but I don’t remember why. I’m just scared. Then, throughout the day, disturbing images flash randomly through my head. I guess they’re from nightmares...
I've been told
What to do
For most of my life
But now
When I want
Someone to
When I need
Someone to

No one is there
I'm not where I want to be,
and I'm anything but happy

but no one sees

"You're perfect," "You're smart,"
I am anything but art

but no one sees

I'm lonely and hurt
I'm just lying on the turf

but no one sees

my world of broken dreams
nothing is what it seems
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