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Life is at my fingertips.
I have ever decision to make on my own.
I can do anything and everything,
yet I've never felt so alone.
I want the control taken from me,
but I want to feel in control.
It sounds bipolar, and vague,
but truthfully,
I want nothing but to lay in bed.
I want to ponder on hours on end,
without thinking of what might've been.
My life lies at the edge of the world,
where no one dares to approach.
Still, I must venture on,
and somehow,
make my legacy be told.
I'm going away for college soon and I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it's smart or the right thing.
G A Lopez Mar 10
Am                        I

Ready


  to


      forgive?


      'Cause


     I


  don't


     think
                     

   I


    can.
High school
Either
The best or
Worst days
Of your life

It’s still to be decided for me
How is or was high school?
Ayesha Jimenez Apr 2019
I have tasted many cigarettes on these lips
that no longer feel like my own.
Strangers have come and kissed them,
leaving only ash trails.
It's not every weekend you find me
at the softest sofa in the living room,
downing gin, ice and juice
with newfound friends and old classmates
I'm usually on smooth sheets and
surrounded by silence
with only Netflix to keep me company.
I think of past lovers often and
with every stick that has passed my lips,
I wonder how would it all have turned out
if we didn't end or if it ended differently.
I want to love again, I really do.
What girl would not love to be called baby
or honey, or love?
What girl would not love to be given homemade meals
in a glass lunch box or tulips and violets just because?
What girl would not love talking
about the existence of other worlds, mythological creatures?
The planets and the stars? The afterlife
Her favorite books, her favorite tea and
the things she does when she tries to calm her anxiety.

I was asked if I would
let my hair grow back again because
I looked like a boy from the back.
Deceiving people is funny in this superficial way but
I would not let strangers touch my hair.
If he comes by, this anyone whom I will
start to feel my heart flutter for and
my eyes dilate in stars
then he can twirl his strong fingers through the silky strands.

I was asked if
Men were pursuing me.
I had no clue, I did not want to know
if there were men who actually liked me
and not the bubbly side that
everyone was accustomed to, after my past lover left.
I was never shockingly beautiful, nor effortlessly charming
Not athletic skinny or even dazzlingly voluptuous,
Always never an option, just a passing stranger
Everyone falls in love with my pretty friends
Also, they say I'm too
rough around the edges,
soft but full of fire,
grounded but lost in the clouds.

So I didn't want to know.

I can't breathe sometimes.

I'll quit the weekend cigarette boxes and maybe
disappear for a while.
Because I missed the sun and
the comfort
It'll get better

I know it will.
Nimrod kiptoo Apr 2019
Ego
I don't want to learn how to live without you, coz if i do, i'll be an expert at it
Amy Childers Mar 2019
Sometimes I feel invisible.
My surroundings consist of barrier reefs
And schools of exotic fish.
I am just a guppy in saltwater.
Out of place and out of mind.
And yet visible and more than often declined.

Where do I belong?
In freshwater or the sea?
Why must life be so hard for a saltwater guppy like me?
Who am I?
Araoluwa Jacob Mar 2019
I told him I was tired
He asked, "of what?"
I said, "Everything"
He told me to erase it from my mind
"Including us?" I asked.
Celeste Geld Mar 2019
Limbo is my company this night
One plate empty, one plate not
Struggling to find an outlet to release my demons
Alone when faced with my best friend’s hubris

Limbo is where I want to hang on
I cannot foresee if there is a morrow at dawn
To wait, truth is no longer relevant per se
All my defenses and arguments withdrawn

Limbo is not a permanent home
But that’s from I can’t seem to move on
One plate empty one plate not
I deign to leave but I dare to roam
Truly Lustful Jul 2018
Here I am again
Another lost prayer from Solace
Hands folded, but trembling
Lips shaking and eyes closed

Muttering to myself
A list of regrets
At my bedside
Paying off my debts

The longer I speak
To that wall in front of me
The more I feel
My elbows sink into the sheets

And with each passing statement
The heavier my arms are
With the guilt of knowing
How I came so far

Fingers now intertwined
Gripping tightly at my skin
Biting my lips, trying not to scream
Blood dripping down, splashing on my knuckles

As the tears roll down my cheeks
And my hands collect my blood
My mind goes almost completely blank
My blood turns dark like mud

Arms now limp at my side
Face down in the sheets
My eyes snap shut
and my heart skips

I feel it against the bedside
The metronome of my chest
But sadly it won't last much longer
It's time for me to rest

Because in the world we've created
When your heart stops you haven't died
But when your faith is crumbling away
This hypocritical world turns

If you're not sitting in those pews
Every Sunday morning
I'm here to beckon a call
Maybe just a forewarning

I've witness firsthand
How people turn evil
The kindest preacher you'll ever meet
Has the sharpest knife

And as my heart finally stops
I feel a wave of solace
A light and gentle smile appears
This black void is flawless
I hate Religion
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