I don't care if you
Throw sticks
Or stones
Or grenades.
You won't hurt me,
I'll pick myself up.

I don't care if you
Call me stupid
Or ugly
Or a failure, a disappointment.  
You won't hurt me,
I'll shut it all out.

I don't care if you
**** a frog
Or rob the bank
Or starve for days.
I won't bat an eyelid,
That's what others' did to me.

I have been made
Cruel and heartless
By this warped, greedy world.

If it won't affect me,
I won't care.

I have no secrets
For success.
Only that
Of destruction.

Dull eyes
Dark under-eye rings
Dazed look.

She was tired,
But sleep,
Not even a weekend's worth of it,
Could cure her tiredness.

For she felt hopeless,
Driven to desperation.

I want someone
Who can read my eyes
And communicate with them
So that we can share jokes
From across the room
Or alert each other
During emergencies.

I want someone
Who can differentiate my smiles.
Real ones, fake ones
So that even when everyone else
Is fooled,
You won't be.

I need someone
Who can understand
That I'm a complicated,
Contradictory person.
That I may blow hot and cold
But in the end
I'll still love you.

"Sweet dreams,"
My parents would say before we went to bed.

If only.
For my dreams
Were nightmares
Grotesque, twisted monsters
Would run after me
In a dimly-lit forest
Only to have
A car come by suddenly
And run over me
Causing my organs to burst
And blood to stain the ground.

They said,
"May your dreams come true!"
Forgetting that
Nightmares
Were dreams too.

Just like the sun,
He burst
Into fiery red flames.

Oh, save me
From the depths of
Immature
Teenage
Infatuation.

She would
Build walls around herself,
A thousand feet tall.
"Don't trust,
Don't let anyone near,"
She told herself.

But sometimes
She would soften up.
Tear down the walls
And let others in.  

Only to be left,
To be betrayed.
So she would construct them again,
But destroy it soon after.

It was a cycle,
Building walls and then tearing them down,
Over and over again.

She was
An illusion
Of delusion.

Oh, ocean
Take me away
Envelope me in your waves
Wash me away from the shore.

Freeze me
Numb my pain
Let me drown
In your vastness.

Let me sink
To the bottom of the ocean.

She looked at how
Everyone was so sad,
So in need of help,
And thought,
"Maybe I could do something
To help!"

And then she realised,
Laughing bitterly
That she couldn't even
Save herself.

All that's left
Are old exercise books
And
Fading memories.

I'm so sorry.

For avoiding you,
Ignoring you.

Feeling jealous
When you talk to other girls.
Yet not bothering
To make the first move.

When I do,
I'm sorry
If I appear clingy.

I'm not good enough for you.

But I wonder,

Does all this matter to you?

Sorry, for disturbing you.

What will it be like
To kiss you?

Will it be
Romantic
Your soft lips
Pressed against mine
Our eyes closed
Savouring the moment
Arms wrapped around each other
The epitome of perfection.

Or will it be
Hot and passionate
My back against the wall
Our bodies pressed tightly against each other
Your tongue in my mouth,
And mine, in yours
As my hand gets entangled in your hair
And yours, stroking my skin.

Will I experience an eruption of
Emotions, feelings?
Will it leave me wanting more?

Well,
There's only one way to know.

Distance
Is not just about being miles apart.

Distance
Can be about
Being a road away from each other
Yet never having the chance to meet.

Distance
Is not just about different time zones.

Distance
Can be about
Chatting online everyday
But replying with only "yes", "no", or "k".

Distance.
It hurts more
When you're so near
Yet so far.

They called him
A problem child.
"Failure."
"Disappointment."
"Good for nothing."

And so these words
Stuck with him
Formed his identity
Shaped his character.

Until one day
He couldn't take it anymore
So he jumped off a building
And all his problems
Seemed to vanish.

The world is
One huge
Jigsaw puzzle.

Everyone is a puzzle piece.
And just like how
Every puzzle piece is unique,
How the puzzle would be incomplete
Should even just one piece go missing,
Everyone on earth is unique,
And the world would be incomplete
Without any one person.

Except me, of course.
I'm merely
An extra piece.

Due next Thursday?
No problem!
I'll start
The day before.

I'm afraid to stand out
And be different.
What if I look odd?
What if I'm judged?

I'm afraid of using big words,
Even though they sound beautiful.
What if I use it wrongly?
I'll be thought of as a fool.

Most of all,
I'm afraid
Of telling you
That I love you
Everyday.

It's meant to be a cute,
Sweet gesture.
A way of
Reminding you
You're the best thing
In my life.

But what if
It slowly becomes a mere routine for me?

Worse still,
What if
One day
Your reply is,
"I don't, anymore."?

Cloaked in black
And sparkly purple sequins,
Waving his magic wand in the air.
He performs
In front of one crowd
After another.

The audience gasp in awe
As he pulls a rabbit
Out of his top hat.
People wonder,
"How does he do it?"
When he performs yet another card trick.

Finally the show is over.
The magician stands on the stage, alone,
Getting ready for his next act.
Magic,
It may seem mystical for the ordinary person,
But to the magician,
It's an everyday thing.

They taught her
Not to believe
The sweet nothings
Boys would tell her.
"I would do anything for you."
"You mean the world to me!"
"Oh, darling, I love you so much."

For they were all lies.

Little did they know
That she, too,
Would never believe those lies.
In fact,
She was the one
Who told them.

Her heart shattered
From all the hatred built up
Inside.

Tossing and turning
Heavy breathing,
Tears of frustration.

Screaming at my brain
To dismiss, erase, forget
All memories of you.

But it rebels
Like a stubborn teenager
It eyes me
In a huff, says,
"No!"
And proceeds to
Replay
Those moments
Over and over again.

My exasperation
Soon turns into
Sadness, despair, misery
Knowing that
It's all gone.

Forgetting you
Why can't it be easy?
Like how dried leaves
Are swept by the breeze
Into the river
And float away to
The point of no return.

Feeding myself
Thoughts of how
It's hopeless
Just doesn't work.

It makes me feel
Lightheaded and fluffy
And makes my cheeks
Turn bright red
To think of my hand
In yours.

It's such a unique gesture,
Holding hands.
So intimate
Yet innocent.

Our hands will fit perfectly
Our fingers interlocked
Like the right pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

My heart will beat faster
Your cheeks will turn redder
And we will feel so much closer
To each other.

Your grasp will be so tight
It'll be impossible to let go.
Just like having the world
On my fingertips,
Literally.

Why are all the beautiful things
In the world
Ephemeral?

They're short lived,
Here today and
Gone tomorrow.

Just like a beautiful flower.
That lives for only a day
Before disappearing,
Disintegrating,
Blown away
By wisps of the wind.

I want people to understand,
Yet I refuse to explain.

The world through her eyes
Was full of objects, events
Half of which she'd never care about
And the other half
Would never care about her.

The world through her eyes was
Monochrome, black and white.
Everyday the same painful,
Torturous routine called life.

The world through her eyes
Was colourful, too.
Filled with a rainbow of personalities and characters
She would never become.

The world through her emerald green eyes.

Everything was beautiful, fascinating,
Other than herself.

Does it make us
Shallow
To read Divergent, Hunger Games
Or The Mortal Instruments?

Does it make us
Shallow
To listen to the latest pop hits,
Whatever's on the radio?

Does it make us
Shallow
To drink Starbucks or Koi,
And post pictures of it?

Does it make us
Shallow
To wear dresses, heels
And girly accessories?

Because I don't think it being shallow means liking popular things.

Isn't it queer
How puppets,
Made of cloth
And button eyes
Can be so animated
And lively

While humans
Like myself
With a beating heart
And blinking eyes
Are too tired
To even smile?

Then again,
Puppets have
A puppeteer's hands
Working the magic
While I
Am dragging myself
Across the bumpy roads
Alone.

{a.s}

For once
She is lost in books
Instead of
In his eyes.

She would
Carefully apply her makeup
Everyday.
Do her best to look good.

People would say she was vain.

But the truth was,
She wasn't.

Neither was she trying to
Be pretty and popular.
Neither was she trying
To attract the jocks.

She wanted
To be noticed
By the loner, the nerd,
Whose face
Was buried in his books.

I roam
These empty hallways
Tread on broken glass
That reflects you
And the little moments
I treasure so much.

I use my hands
Those which slipped into yours so perfectly
Like a puzzle piece
To pick up those shattered pieces.
They're scratched
By the sharp edges
That pierce my skin.

I carry those wisps of memories
in my arms
Those I used to wrap around you
In warm embrace.
They're ******,
Cut by the glass
Pressed against them.

I roam these empty hallways
Trying to
Collect memories,
Both good and bad.
But inside,
I hope that
Maybe,
Just maybe
I'll find you too,
Roaming these empty hallways
Picking up the
Fragments of us.

I used to look
At the world
With rose-tinted glasses.
To me,
Everything was beautiful
And innocent, pure
How could anything
Be evil?

But the same world
I admired
With eyes open wide
In awe
Was very cruel.
It splattered blood
And sprayed black paint
Onto my twisted lenses
And the beautiful
Sunset shade of pink
Was covered with
Such horror.

I never saw anything
The same way again.

But I still haven't lost hope.
I continue
Trying my best
To look out these tainted glasses
Hoping that maybe
I'll find someone
Who's willing
To clean the lenses.

Her eyes
Were always
Full of mischief
They sparkled with delight,
And always had
That special glint in them.

But if you looked closely enough
You would see
Swollen rims
From crying herself to sleep.
That sparkle
You'd think you knew so well
Was merely a mask
For the true dullness
And lack of hope
Within.

And perhaps
If you looked longed enough
You would see
The very beginnings
Of a supressed tear.

If only
I realised what was going on
In her eyes
Before it was too late.

He was so in love
With the way she
Spun words
Scintillating with brilliance
To the point it became
An obsession
With how magic and wonder
Floated so effortlessly around her
And was oblivious to the fact that
He was caught,
Forever trapped in her web.

We're spinning webs of
Pretentious words
With poison-laced thread.

I painstakingly
Edit my pictures
Select my captions
Carefully.

Hashtag like there's no tomorrow,
Because hey,
How else can I get noticed?

I check the number of likes
And comments that I get
By the minute
Refreshing
And refreshing
Again.

Follow those famous people
In the hopes I'll
Get followed back.

Lady Gaga could not
Have said it better.
I live
For the applause.

Everyone assumes that
Us elite students in top schools
Are hardworking,
Morally upright people.
That we breeze through our work
And live life with a bright smile.

That's what they think.

They don't see
Our late nights, rushing assignments.
Copying each others' work hurriedly in the morning.
Feelings of inferiority, anger and jealousy consume us daily.

We're nothing more
Than ordinary people
Put on high pedestals.

She tried to fit in.

But she did it too well and ended up blending in with the black and white background, unnoticed amongst the vibrant, colourful individuals in the crowd.

So maybe she didn't do that good a job of fitting in.

The world is
Filled to the brim
With
Contradicting information.

I try to resist.
I'm not giving in to the temptation
Of going back to you again.

You're standing there
Arms seemingly open
Warm smile on your face.

But I know I can't.
I'll come off as clingy, needy,
Desperate.

So I repeat to myself
In the head,
"You can live without him."

Why am I doing this?
Because I know
You'll take my heart
And throw it forcefully onto the ground,
Making it shatter
Into a thousand pieces
Irreparably broken.

There are times
Like now
When I don't feel like
Spinning poems
Extracted from my
Many thoughts.

Instead
I let my thoughts
Roam free
In my mind.
Of love, of life,
Of heartbreak, of hatred,
They stay as sentence fragments
I repeat to myself
Over and over
Until
They're ready
To be
Written.

Remember when we
Confided in each other
Laughed at the
Shallowness of society?

And as the days went by
My feelings
Our feelings for each other
Grew stronger
And we confessed.
I recall how
Warm and red
My face was.  

We were so close,
You were the only true friend
I had.
I trusted you,
Loved you.
And once upon a time
I was sure you did, too.

But what happened?
Did I say something wrong?
Or did your fickle mind
Simply grow bored
Of this pathetic, desperate girl
With a warped view of the world?

Because now
We barely talk
And I'm always the one who
Initiates a conversation
That always ends so abruptly.

Can we go back to
What we used to be?
Best friends,
Nothing more?

I'm not asking for romance,
I long gave up on that.

"Why should I care
About the moon?
It is merely a rock
Illuminated by the sun."

"Ah, then
Why do you care
About him?
He's merely a broken human
Pieced together by your mind."

When I like a song
I'll play it a hundred thousand times
And when that's done,
I'll avoid it like the plague,
Skipping it on my iPod.

When I like a craft
I'll put my all in it,
And when that's done,
I'll slowly lose interest,
Finding another hobby.

I'm fickle-minded
Can't make up my mind,
Jumping from one thing
To the next.

That's why
I've never told you that
I love you.

When I was young
I imagined myself
Riding dragons that breathed purple fire,
Discovering a tree that grew all kinds of fruit,
And living for a thousand years.

Then I grew up
And learnt about fashion and popularity.
I imagined
And yearned
To be the prettiest and most popular,
To catch the eyes of the cutest boy,
To have the most followers on Instagram.

Nowadays, though,
Such wishes no longer exist.
Instead,
I imagine myself
Jumping off a building,
Ending up with broken bones and severe loss of blood,
Or drinking lethal poison
That will freeze up my blood.
I imagine myself dying,
And oh,
How I wish it would
Come true.

"Oh my gosh, you're so lucky!"
She said to the one who received so much praise for her work.
Hiding the fact that
She was feeling pure jealousy
For not getting noticed herself.

"I totally ship you two,"
She teased her friend who was crushed on by a boy.
Hiding the fact that
Deep down, she wished that
Someone would think she was beautiful too.

She was too used to this routine
Of using fake laughter and weak smiles
To conceal her glares,
Gritted teeth,
And tears.

She gave away
Pieces of her heart
Until she was only left
With a one tiny, broken piece.

Satisfied smirk on my face,
I revel
In your misery.

Your name
Resides in the crevices of my mind
Like the lyrics
To an old favourite song.
It's sweet, familiar,
And brings back memories.
I'll always enjoy humming its tune,
And smiling a wistful smile
Whenever it plays on the radio.

But just like an old song,
It has been replaced
By the upbeat dance music
I listen to now.
There are some words
I don't quite remember,
Some notes I can't hit anymore.

Most of all,
It lost the passion
I once got lost in.