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1.1k · Apr 2014
Separate
Alexis Apr 2014
Usually I'm fine
With me not being nice to others
And others not being nice to me
In return.
That's okay.
I don't mind
Living a life
Separate from everyone else.  

But then I see people
Being nice to others
And I think
"Why doesn't anyone do this
To me?"

So I end up feeling
Like an unwanted *******.
1.1k · Apr 2014
No Longer
Alexis Apr 2014
She no longer
Imagined them
Kissing, cuddling on the couch
One day.

She no longer
Waited anxiously
For him to reply to her message
Sent an hour ago.

She no longer
Spilt her secrets and feelings to him.
Expose her other side.
She kept it all in.

For she knew
He had left.
Just like everyone else.

She no longer cared
About him.
She tried not to,
Anyway.
Her cold, distant gaze at the distance.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Her Sadness
Alexis Apr 2014
Her sadness
Was not beautiful,
Neither was it poetic.

Rather
It was a kind of desperation
Hopelessness,
That would scare others away.

And that's why she hid it behind a weak smile.
That's why she'd never tell.
Hmm.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Unsent
Alexis Apr 2014
Maybe one day,
Sometime soon,
I'll be brave enough
To send it to you.
For now,
I'll leave it unsent.
1.0k · May 2014
Love
Alexis May 2014
Love
Is just a seemingly beautiful
Excuse
For delusion.

Love
Is just a seemingly pleasurable
Feeling
To fill our empty souls.

Love
Is for
Fools.
912 · May 2014
Harmless
Alexis May 2014
"What's wrong with asking?
It's only a harmless question."

"It may be a harmless question,
But you may not get
A harmless answer."
878 · Apr 2014
Glare
Alexis Apr 2014
I'm sorry
For feeding you with lies
For breaking our trust.

I wish I had never done that
That I could turn the clock back.
But I can't.

Now we never talk.
We don't even say hi.
And it's killing me
Inside.

I saw you walk past me
In the hallway today.
I turned my head back
To see you,
My eyes filled with longing.

Surprisingly,
You turned back too.
But just as my hopes went up
I saw
Your cold, unforgiving
Glare.
Look I skipped E again.
875 · May 2014
Uncaged
Alexis May 2014
Escaping from the cage
That's kept her in so long
She tiptoes cautiously
Feet on the ground
After what seems like forever.

Getting used to it
She starts running
Stiff, creaking joints
Oiled by the fresh air, in a way.
Dancing, prancing,
Flowing gracefully
Like the wind.

She starts
Flying
Free.
867 · Apr 2014
Masterpiece Churner
Alexis Apr 2014
I'm not a masterpiece churner.

You can't expect me
To sketch out
Expressive eyeball
After expressive eyeball.

You can't expect me
To finish colouring
My drawing
In an hour-long art lesson.

You can't expect me
To come up
With in idea
In five minutes.

I take my time.

But as they say,
Good things come
To those who wait.
As an aspiring artist these are some of the things I find utterly wrong with society's/my art teacher's expectations of me.
854 · Apr 2014
We're The Kids
Alexis Apr 2014
Sure,
We don't go into gang fights,
Or drink, do drugs or have ***.
We're the cream of the crop,
Or so they say.

But what's the use of
Intelligent minds
When they're not used?
We waste our life away
(By our parent's standards, anyway)
Doodling in class,
Blasting music, writing poems
Rushing work at the last minute
Study only when we really,
Really need to
(While secretly surfing the net
On our phones, of course.)

We steal money,
Sneak out in the afternoon
Go shopping
To satisfy our miscellaneous whims.
Gossip about the other girls,
Calling them stupid, ******, *****.
Complain about the teachers,
And high-five each other,
Wishing good luck in
Scraping past for exams.

We spill our sorrows
About overbearing parents
About the **** in life
With that angry glint
In our eyes.

How ironic.
I'm the kind of kid
My parents warn me about.
853 · Apr 2014
Bedazzling
Alexis Apr 2014
His eyes
Were bedazzling.
Sparkling,
Electric blue.

My heart
Would skip a beat
Whenever
I looked into them
And he
Looked back at mine.

One day
Our eyes met, yet again.
This time,
It lasted longer,
My heart was beating faster.

And suddenly
It stopped.
So I did find something to write about after all. :)
848 · Apr 2014
Zip
Alexis Apr 2014
Zip
Fearing
Judgement
Criticism
Mockery,

She zipped her mouth,
Sewn it shut,
And never did she
Utter a word again.
Aww yeah I'm done with the A to Z poetry challenge :D

Maybe I'll do some editing to the previous poems before making a little book thingy out of it.
833 · May 2014
Mirror
Alexis May 2014
Mirrors

She's always liked mirrors.

Anything with a reflective surface, really. Something she could see herself with. Like the windows in the classroom, so she could turn her head and check if her name tag was slanted during lessons. Or the puddles of rainwater on the damp track, which she would glance at occsionally while running to see if her hair was in a mess. Sometimes, she would even discreetly use the grainy reverse camera on her phone in the bus, in case a pimple had popped up in school.

To her, they were a great friend. One that saved her from potentially embarrassing incidents. One that would point out tiny flaws that needed a bit of correcting. One that showed her best features, like the way her big hazel eyes always sparkled with enthusiasm.

Slowly, the mirror became a servant. A tool to help her see where the eyeliner was going. To make sure there was no lip gloss on her cheeks. A weak nod of confirmation, that she looked like the models in magazines. So close to perfection.

But never perfect.

That's what her mind would repeat to her, over and over again. Just look at the mirror, it would say.

And so the mirror became a weapon of destruction she detested so much. It seemingly taunted her dry and frizzy locks, the excess fat around her waist, the dry flakes of skin on her lips. It was hard to avert her eyes from those tempting reflective surfaces. Even when she smashed her own mirror, not caring about the seven years of bad luck it would bring about, she was still able to see distorted bits of herself through the sharp-edged fragments.

It led her to sleepless nights, scouring the internet for beauty how-tos. It led to the pocket money she saved from skipping lunch, money she would use when sneaking to the shops to buy cheap drugstore mascara. It led to her becoming a follower of society, a follower of the trends, whatever was popular.

She became a mirror.
Not a poem, not at all.

I decided to try writing prose, and it is interesting.

Hope you enjoy :)
799 · Apr 2014
Fragments
Alexis Apr 2014
We were like a beautiful glass vase
Until one day
The hammer of Lies
Broke the vase
And tore us apart.

All that was left were
Fragments
Little pieces of memories
Sights, smells, sounds.

I tried picking up the pieces
And gluing them back together
But I never succeeded.

For the fragments were there
But the little shards
Were swept away by
The wind.
Of course I skipped E and went straight to F.
748 · Apr 2014
X
Alexis Apr 2014
X
The most mysterious letter
Out of the 26 in the alphabet.

Students rack their brains
To find the value of x in math,
Pirates hunt viciously
For that treasure,
At the place marked "X".

It's such an
Enchanting
Enigmatic
Letter.

A twinkle in its eye,
Playful smirk on it's face,
Never to be found.

I guess
I could liken you
To the letter X.
You're my X.
675 · May 2014
Perspective
Alexis May 2014
Why do you
Say life is
Painful and dreary?
Why have you lost hope?
Is it really a long,
Torturous struggle?

Maybe you could
Change your perspective.
Look at things
A different way.
Try another angle,
Find the good in things.

Perhaps
That will make you
Happier.
650 · Apr 2014
You Scream
Alexis Apr 2014
You scream.

You yell.

You pretend to disappear,
In the hopes someone will notice.

Starving, craving for attention.

No one cares.

But then,

All they have to do is whisper,

And all heads turn.
645 · Apr 2014
Turning Tables
Alexis Apr 2014
Targets shifted,
Arrows fell.
Strings are broken,
Hopes are dashed.
People lead,
They're admired.
We see,
We try.
We fail,
We cry,
We hide.
Tables are turning,
Worlds are changing.
Everything is tumbling down.
Or
Are lies now easier to tell?
621 · Apr 2014
Anyone Else?
Alexis Apr 2014
Is there anyone
Who doesn't cut
In the middle of the night
And hides their scars
Underneath bracelets
And baggy sweaters
But feels sad, suicidal,
Crying in bed,
Losing hope in life?

Is there anyone
Who doesn't starve
Or force herself to puke
With a mind that
Condemns every bit of fat
But feels
Insecure,
Thinks herself as ugly?

Is there anyone
Who isn't ostracised,
Mocked, bullied,
Betrayed
But still feels alone,
Left out,
Out of place?

Is there anyone
Who's neither here
Nor there?

Is there anyone else
Like me?
Is there?
593 · Apr 2014
Question
Alexis Apr 2014
Lately
I've been asking myself
This question:
Do I still love you?

Yes,
My heart still skips a beat
Whenever your name flashes on the screen.
My cheeks still turn red
Whenever our eyes meet.
My lips still curve into a smile
Whenever I think about you,
Which I do.

But do I actually love you?
Or do I simply miss
The memories,
The good times we've had?
Am I holding on to nothing?

Unfortunately
(Or is fortunately?)
I don't know the answers
To these questions.
Do I?

On a side note look how far I've come in the A to Z challenge :)
512 · Apr 2014
Let Go
Alexis Apr 2014
I still find it
Hard to let go.

I was deluded,
Tricked by myself
Thinking
I had moved on.

But all I had to do
Was replay my favourite memory
Of you and I
And
I had a relapse.

I started falling for you,
Now miles away,
All over again.
All over again.

All over again.

I can't stop thinking about you.

What about you?
511 · Apr 2014
Poets
Alexis Apr 2014
Us poets
Aren't we all the same?

We all write about
Love, lust, heartbreak, hatred.
Depression, self-harm, recovery, relapses.
The sun and the rain, the breeze, the moon and stars.
Remembering, forgetting, past mistakes.

Do we not centre around these topics?

It's all just a matter of
Twisting, manipulating
Phrases used one too many times.
Adding a touch of yourself here,
Another hint there.

To conjure something
We call
Original.
497 · Apr 2014
So Much
Alexis Apr 2014
It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember, it hurts.
488 · Apr 2014
You
Alexis Apr 2014
You
You

Whose thoughts
I yearned to know back then.

Whose prolonged gaze
Would make me blush, in those days.

You

Whom I never got to say goodbye to.

You

Whose path
I hope to cross again, one day.

I may have moved on,
But I'll never forget you.
482 · May 2014
Poet's Block
Alexis May 2014
What should I write about?
This thought,
Or that?
Think I could combine them all
Into one poem?
Or will it turn out
A mess?

Should I use this word,
Or another?
What if I misuse it?

No,
The words don't click together
They sound so foreign.
Goodness,
I can't find a word
To describe this!
What shall I do?

I've used this word
So many times
Repeating it over and over
In this poem.
I need some synonyms
But they all don't fit!

Why is it
That it sounded so beautiful
In my head
But hurts my eyes
On the paper?

Perhaps
I shouldn't write
For now.
The reason why I haven't been posting much.
Alexis Apr 2014
I cannot compare
Your swift actions
To the cool breeze.

I do not have the
Linguistic abilities
To describe your eyes
As the epitomes of beauty
I could get lost in.

I cannot fathom
How others
Can so gracefully
Liken your hair
To the rustling wild grass.

But I can whisper
To you
Over and over again,
"I love you."
Of course.

— The End —