he looks upon every
disturbing part of me
with faith,

as if I were never dangerous; forever delicate...

when we stare into
one another, the thousand
ghosts of everything
I am ashamed of become pacified...

Now I’m Not Gonna Lie...
I Really Didn’t Sleep...
Very Well Last Night...
  
Cos’ Nightmarish Vibes...
Were Running Through My Mind...
  
And I’m Not Normally A Guy...
Who Has Nightmares...
But These Days I Find...
That My Thoughts Are Going Where...
I Really DON’T LIKE... !!!
  
From Thoughts of Suicide...
To Where Darkness Lies... !!!
  
I Don’t Get Cold Sweats...
But My Thinking Scares...
When My Sleep Is Disturbed...
By Thoughts That PERTURB... !!!
  
So What Does It Mean...
When Nightmarish Dreams...
Start To Be What You See...
Because It Worries Me... !?!
  
That When As Calm As I Am...
My Thinking Now...
Seems To See Dark Clouds...
That Are Making Me MAD... !!!
  
Cos’ I Don’t Get Sad...
But I Now Can See...
Myself In Scenes...
That Are Pretty Bad... !!!
  
From Feeling Trapped...
To Thinking of Things...
That Seem To Bring...
My Mind To Thinking...
That Life’s A DRAG... !!!
  
And The Really Sad Fact...
Is That I’m Cool With That... !?!
  
I’ve Had Tough Times...
But Have Lived My Life...
Without Taking Lives...
Or Acting Like...
I Should Not Smile...
And Recognise.....
  
That My Life’s Been Fine...
And Has Been A Lot Better...
Than Those Who’ve Died...
Because of Vendettas...
That Resulted In Weapons...
Being Used To Abuse...
And Destroy What’s Good... !!!
  
But I’m Now Losing My Cool...
More Than I Used To... !!!
  
But NOT In Ways...
That Are Displayed...
For People To See... !!!
  
My Anger Now Feeds...
Like This New Disease...
That’s Spread With Speed...
  
So Cannot Be Seen...
But Can Clearly Reach...
A Place Where Life...
Can QUICKLY Decline... !!!
  
Now I Have A Strong Mind...
Which Is Why I Write Poetic Lines...
  
To Keep My Brain...
From Constantly Playing...
The Type of Mind Games...
That Drive Many Insane... !!!
  
But The Pain Remains...
And Is Causing Strain...
To My Thoughts Nowadays... !!!
  
Everybody Keeps Saying...
... Things Will Be Okay... !!!!!
  
And There’ll Be Brighter Days...
As If They Know...
What’s Inside of My Soul...
  
And Are Saying Some Things...
That Are Now HURTING...
In Ways That Indicate...
That They Don’t Cogitate...
On My Mental State...
  
Which Is NOT Their Problem... !!!
  
But Is Causing Me Stress...
That May Not Defend...
My Retaining Patience...
In My Dealings With Them...
  
Cos They Seem To Forget...
That What They Express...
May Well Cause Upset... !!!
  
And So This Poem...
Is Something I Guess...
To Now Bring Me Calmness...
  
And To Get These Thoughts...
From Inside of My Head...
  
Thoughts of Violence...
As Well As... WAR... !!!
  
That Could Lead To Deaths...
Both Mine And Theirs... !!!
  
If They Don’t EASE Back...
From Making Attacks...
That DON’T Deal In FACTS... !!!
  
Or Just... Taking A Sec...
To THINK... Before Offence...
Is What They Cause...

That’ll Bring A Bigger War...
Than Corona For SURE... !!!
  
I Just Wanna Be COOL...
And NOT Have Dark Moods...
That I HAVE To CONTROL...
Before What Takes Hold...
Are Thoughts That Make...
Me Start To Get IRATE... !!!!
  
I’m NO Gangster Or Killer...
But There Is A Guerrilla...
... Inside of Me...

That I Choose To Keep...
Hidden And Forbidden...
From Resorting To Killing... !!!
  
And The Type of Missions...
That’ll Make Me Willing...
To Start Becoming MALICIOUS...
  
Which I Guess Is Why...
I’m Writing These Rhymes...
To Express What I’m Feeling...
  
Because The Pressures of Life...
Are Getting... SERIOUS... !!!
  
But Folks Need To Realise...
That Many Are Submitting...
To Simply Resisting...
Indulging... MORE Thinking... !!!
  
Before Running Their Mouths...
Like The Type of Clowns...
Who Heads Think About...
  
When They’re At Home Chilling...
And TRYING To Sleep...
WITHOUT Having Bad Dreams...
Or The Type of Nightmares...
That Start To Hot Up Cool Heads...
  
That May INCITE...
A Wish To FIGHT...
And Let Anger Fly...
That May Well Supply...
A Nasty Surprise...
Like Denial of Life... !!!
  
Which I Guess Is Why...
I Had To Write These Rhymes...
  
To Calm Down My Mind...
  
Because I Really Didn’t Sleep...
In The Way That I Like...
  
And Am NOT Trying To Be...
The Type of Guy...
  
Whose Mind Declines...
Into Resorting To Vibes...
That Nightmares Provide... !!!
  
Like The Ones My Mind Supplied...
  
In My Sleep.....
  
....... “ Last Night “......