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Jules Oct 2019
Cross faded by 6:45
I'm thinking about you
You're one of a kind
Something I like
Something I wouldn't mind
Getting to know
Calling you mine
Just a high thought at 6:45
Jules Oct 2019
You ever get that empty feeling in your chest
that you've lost someone dear to you? They're still here
but are they really here?
That's the difference.
Where have you gone?
I miss you.
Jules Oct 2019
As it rains
I feel some sort of way
A feeling so deep
I can't possibly say
the things that weigh
upon my mind
How do I change it?
Where do I go?
It takes me hostage
more than you know
But as I sit here
on the side
You gaze right at me
One of a kind
Jules Oct 2019
I will admit, this is really hard. I know your just being you but part of me still feels that you still feel something. Even if that something is small. I think it still lingers in your mind. I can hear it in your voice. You definitely care. Even if this feeling may be a different type of love, you must agree that we have an unusual bond. A connection that not most have. I know your devoted to another. She actually seems really fun and inspiring. I know that's something you really need. She's really cute too. I genuinely hope she makes you happy. Even though this hurts, I still want you to finally be happy and feel okay in your own skin. I saw her story on your birthday and the photos and videos of you together, looks like she really does make you happy. And part of that makes me happy too, even with the other half hurting to witness. I'm sorry if me occasionally checking in on you and her seems a bit off. I can't help but be a little protective. I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't ever want to see you in pain. That would be worse. That would be something I couldn't immediately take away. No matter what happens between us, I hope your life is filled with much joy. After all, you deserve that much.
Jules Oct 2019
I hate how it consumes me
It's not enough to feed the addiction
I can't deny my love for attention
Jules Dec 2020
I'm back again
Here at your will
I swore I was done with you
I believed I was through with you
And I was
I really was
But then we kissed
And layed
Became so close
You made me stay
The night with you
But I don't regret it
And I know that you
Don't either too
We fell asleep
No counting sheep
Because we're comfortable
Just me and you
Jules Oct 2019
I didn't call anyone
I never did asked for help
Now I'm looking in the mirror
I barley recognize myself
Jules Oct 2019
Time is ticking
Time is fleeting
But most of all
My heart is beating
Jules Oct 2019
I can't control your life
You can't let go of mine
Waiting
Hating
What's left in my mind
You seem to cross my memory
If I choose close my eyes
Forever
I'll see
What's next on the other side
Yet I'm left in ponder
It's only half passed nine
But it feels like a century
Like the beginning of time
Since you said goodbye
Jules Oct 2019
I grew through
What I went through
I still have
that same issue
I still have
that feeling of
Saying
that I miss you
When I see
your favorite color
I always think
I always wonder
What might have been
A former lover

But then I know
that I remember
You ******* ****
And I've done better
Off without you
I'll count the numbers
I'm better off
You'll always love her
I'm better off
And I'm no better
I'm better off
How'll I recover?
I'm better off
Without you

It always pains me
when I see you
two together
Just you wait
until you tell her
all the crazy
**** you've done
and that you'll never
stay forever
Or that you're scared
to be alone
you're always looking
at your phone
Hey what's it like
atop that thrown?
It must be nice
I wouldn't know


But then I know
that I remember
You ******* ****
And I've done better
Off without you
I'll count the numbers
I'm better off
You'll always love her
I'm better off
And I'm no better
I'm better off
How'll I recover?
I'm better off
Without you
Jules Oct 2019
You saw a blueberry
On the corner of the sidewalk
Something you shouldn't have noticed
But unexpectedly took interest
In a blueberry
On the sidewalk

With each passing day
You'd see that blueberry
And with each passing day
You looked forward to it
To a blueberry
On the sidewalk

But eventually, the leaves will fall
And the snow will come
People will move on
And nothing will be left
Nothing at all
Not even a blueberry
On the sidewalk
Jules Oct 2019
Tell me you're thoughts on us
Before I lose myself
I know I said I'm fine
But I can't help it
Am I chasing wasted time?
What could really be mine?
Jules Oct 2019
I don't want to make any accusations
but they're all getting into my head
They say this
They say that
I don't know what's true or false
and I'm too afraid to ask
But with our current encounter
I refuse to believe it
You're just too kind
Just too perfect
Did you really do it?
Did you really lie?
I hope she's everything you wanted Something I couldn't provide
Because when you left
you took a little bit of my mind
too
Jules Oct 2019
I'm so tired
Need a break
Only so much my heart can take
Willing to love you
Willing to change
But I can't keep writing
The same **** take
Please forgive me
My limbs grow weak
Do you listen when I speak?
Graceful nights
Exchange a favor
Nothing will ever come to save her
Jules Oct 2019
I take comfort in forgetting what I have been meaning to forget.
Jules Oct 2019
I heard you singing by the water
It wet my eyes with the pain
I know it's hard because you loved her
That's something I couldn't erase

Is it alright if I sit here?
Just for a while
Because I know that you miss her
You can't replace that smile
Jules Oct 2019
What I feel and what I deserve don't coincide
This is something different
Something I don't usually abide
I'm at a loss
I'm torn
I don't want it all to fall apart
This is crazy
but so are we baby
Jules Oct 2019
There needs to be a change
How one does that is an act of courage that needs to take place
I must jump from my safe space and into the pool of the unknown
I grow weak with each passing day
I'm scared I will not be able to keep afloat and retreat back to my safe space
shivering with regret
But isn't that the definition of courage?
The ability to do something that frightens one
Jules Oct 2019
I deserve to be with someone
who isn't confused
about the feelings
they have for me
Jules Oct 2019
I've been put in a tough space
Moving on but I still love that face
Changing rhythms
You show no sign
Don't worry mom
I'm doing fine

Gathering messages on the run
Exploring another is too much fun
Remembering slowly my thoughts on you
Knowing I loved just more than a few

Shamefully wishing you by my side
You're words hurt me
don't you mind?
Jules Oct 2019
you dangled the idea on a string in front of me
You took the advantage of holding it up too high
In certain situations I'm able to fly
but right now I feel as if I'm drowning
Jules Oct 2019
Some kid called you hot
Happens more often than not
I'm glad it's their to boost your ego
You feel uncomfortable
but yet enjoy it though?
Jules Oct 2019
The leaves are changing and I am too
Oh how lovely it feels to let you go
But I fear that I am an evergreen
Jules Oct 2019
I didn't want to fall in love again
I really didn't want anything
But seeing you here and now
I want everything
Jules Nov 2019
I never could express
how great it felt
to be with one
who made me feel
like myself.
Who put a smile
on my face,
to make me laugh
until it aches,
to make me shine
just like the stars
but all that's left
is all these scars.
And now it's gone.
And now I'm left
feeling haunted.
Jules Oct 2019
I changed my mind
For the third time
I don't believe in you anymore
I don't believe in us anymore
I don't believe in love anymore
My heart has taken too much to handle
My mind is left in impeccable shambles
Loving you was only a dream
Nothings forever
Even nothing it seems
But if I close my eyes
I feel once more
Myself falling back
to your crashing shores.
Jules Oct 2019
I don't take much interest these days
On the thoughts you have and the things you say
Sure, I may listen
Sure, I may pay
close attention to whats underway
but right now I feel tired
right now I'll just stay
far from you
far far away
Jules Oct 2019
I said I'm fine
But I need time
To clear my mind
Ironically filled with you
Jules Oct 2019
Rollin through lights
Wasting time
I wonder where we'll go
Yeah we're flyin
flyin by
Jules Oct 2019
Lost myself
In the moment of it
I fell in love
With you for a minute
Jules Oct 2019
You asked when all this changed
I said nothing really it's all remained
Except today
You saw my face for what I am
Jules Oct 2019
What a **** up
You're all alone
On the floor
What's the water works for?
That's right
You dramatized a simple interaction
What a break down
What a nice town
What a **** up
Jules Oct 2019
It's not all fun and games
The life we live
It is often filled with pain
Sorrow
Confusion
We hold on for the little things
The moments
The fun and games
Jules Oct 2019
Your incompetence
is no accomplishment
Your inhibition
is no excuse
What're you waiting for?
What're seeking for?
It's all a mess
What're you waiting for?
What're you crying for?
Get over it
Jules Oct 2019
no
you don't love me
you love the idea of me
funny how I believed you
funny how I cried over you
but you got me
you got me good
Jules Oct 2019
● Doubt
● Sadness
● Envy
● Frustration
● Despair
● Shame
● Depression
● Fear
● Grief
● Disgust
● Guilt
● Hate
● Irritation
● Bitterness
● Loathe
● Destruction
● Annoyance
● Displeasure
● Aggression
● Manipulation
● Exhaustion
Jules Oct 2019
You're happy
And hey
It looks good on you
Jules Oct 2019
I wonder whether to be ignorant than aware
Would be worse
At least I'd be somewhat happy
On this perfect sunny earth
But I was never fond of summer to begin with
So I guess it doesn't matter if I'm here or nonexistent

Another part of me is kinda happy living free
To catch up with all the people and faces I used to be
Reminds me of home
from when I was younger
Who knew I'd miss the love and laughter
Like a brother
Jules Oct 2019
I'm left with that feeling again
A hole thats so deep
It could inhabit the dead
I feel like a zombie
I've got depression I guess
But most importantly
I'm living life as though it's pretend
Here we go again
I'm ****** in the head
There's no light in this tunnel
I can't see where it ends
I'm lost
A living nightmare of ghosts instead
I have a monster taunting me
Sharing my head
Here we go again
Jules Oct 2019
Well I got what I wanted
And you're talking
Just what I expected
I'm cut wide open
Emoting
With no emotion
That's right
That's how I'm coping
Jules Oct 2019
I saw you today
The room froze
A held breath
A skipped heartbeat
A smile that hypnotized me
Jules Oct 2019
I hit the ground with realization
I was so high up I didn't see the signs
I thought I could touch the stars
The heat of the sun finally took me down
Jules Oct 2019
If this is love
I want no part in it
The jealousy
The heartache
It's overwhelming
Stop
I don't want it
It fuels me with rage
Why am I so upset?
You're not even mine
Jules Oct 2019
An empty bottle is all I kiss
And if a genie came out
I think I'd wish
I'd never had met you
I'll always regret you
The night that I met you
The year that I gave
I said that I loved you
Jules Oct 2019
I gave so much of myself up
But was it ever enough?
I don't wanna grow up
Upside down
Can't turn around
Another day
And I'm a goner
Mama I don't wanna feel no longer
Jules Oct 2019
I'm doing much better
I think that it's the weather
I think that it's the fact I haven't seen you since December
I think it's in the sky
I think that I know why
I think it's cause I've recently been seein other guys
I'm doing much better
Jules Oct 2019
In over my head
Something you said
I left you on read
Because I
I'm stuck in the way
You say my name
Make me wanna say
I love you
Jules Oct 2019
To feel so incredibly alone
Doesn't mean being completely isolated from the outside world
Crowded by people
Surrounded by noise
Carried small conversation
No point
day to day
That's what alone is
So bring me to life
Isolate me
Show me how to live again
Jules Oct 2019
What if this wasn't meant for me?
This infatuated thing called love.
I have a feeling I feel it for you.
Was it because of the stars in the sky?
Or the stars in your eyes?
The fire in your soul?
Or the fire in my heart?
Either way, I wanna stay in this moment forever.
I promise I'll be gentle.
I promise I'll be kind.
But will you do the same?
Are you willing to be mine?
Jules Oct 2019
I don't wanna die
But if I could turn it off
I wouldn't mind
Can't say I'd ever try
Don't worry I wouldn't lie
But if I could turn if off
(right now)
I wouldn't mind
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