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cupid Nov 2018
i think i must be a goner
i say this because my parents are starting to give up
they think i go to sleep too early
and say i don't eat enough
i go to sleep at 9 and they wake me up for awhile longer
and they let me eat whenever
i don't get scolded as often for my clothes or habits
i say i am a goner because my friends admit that i am
they know that i'm an idiot
most of them will never tire of my recklessness
they appreciate that i would die to make a point
they understand my anarchism
i have become a goner ever since i decided to be myself
i wear clothes adorned with chains and safety pins
and i cut my hair when i was told not to
i was always a goner because i was told to not be what i was
i am still told to not be myself
but i prefer my axe deodorant and borrowed clothes
i prefer my punk-*** self over anything i'm told to be
i may be an actor but only as i please
i may be an artist but i will not paint baby pink and blue over my jaded green and red soul
i may be a musician but i will never play the song you forced me to learn
i may want to be a photographer but i will never be picture perfect
i was born a goner because i am your child but i will never be your daughter
and if you’re concerned about me, dont be
dead boys cannot hurt
cannot hurt
i doubt anyone will find this relatable but, i write for myself
aubrey Nov 2018
“what are we?” she asked

with despair, he replied, ”we’re nothing”
Nothing Jun 2018
Self harm is a way of knowing you're alive

Its like breathing, you need it to live, but without it you will die.
I'm a goner.
s v e n Apr 2018
I take a deep breathe

And without hesitation

Without any second thoughts,

I begin to picture them, with

Those same bleek dark brown eyes

That my eyes seem to be glued to.
Does not even matter if we are both the same.

And I can not help if I feel this way.

Pleading for one day to be noticed by them

But I just can't.

The beats are still missing.

Those hearts are still beating.

Can not see a more simple way

Then to just close my eyes shut and stay silent.

Yearning is just going to create trouble

For others

Soon all that will be left is me

With one choice.
Sometimes you just need to have your heart be heard. [ I remembered I rewrote this..]
ollie Nov 2017
I don’t like to be scared
On my best days I have my worst nights but I don’t bother putting up a fight
I just put some music on
The kind that keeps me in my mood
But still lets me think straight
Straighter than I can
There’s this boy called Wil Straight at my school
I’m scared for him
I gravitated to him, really
Because I gravitate towards the broken people
Maybe someday Wil will tell me what willed him to be the way he is
He’s dark green
The soft kind
There’s a boy who isn’t straight at my school
He probably deserves better than he’s gotten
Tonight he told me, “I’m gonna **** a boy and then give up.”
He asked me, the *******, where I could find a ******
I told him I’d bet that some other guy had one on him
He’s 14
I know too many boys who I thought were just pretty girls when we first met
I know too many broken boys and I know too many broken girls
Tonight I told my friends as we sang along to the broken chorus,
“There will be a day when I can sing this last verse truthfully and it be well-fulfilled, but for now let us lie to ourselves in the knowledge that we love one another because it will make that day come ever so sooner”
I don’t tell people I love them enough
But glory my head and heart do
They do a lot
And I don’t want to lose them
But as the lyric “who can relate?” came on at that school dance
We all had our hands in the air
And I could see it in their eyes
It’s a song about suicide that we sing
The song that tells us it wants us to be alive
And God we don’t want to be
But we do it for each other
I had a good day
The fear of losing them kicked in
I’m so scared and I know I can’t
There’s this guy who wasn’t a guy that feels broken
On the inside
I don’t often ask him about it
I don’t know if he knows I know but I know and he might tell me no
But that’s okay
Tonight I cry for Wil Straight
Boy who isn’t straight
Guy who wasn’t a guy
Green boy
Girl who likes foxes
Peaceful girl who listens to heavy metal music
Girl who is still with us despite being okay
Girl with a boy’s name
Those are just the ones I see face to face
Just the ones who tell me
There’s too many of them
I’m sorry!
But I still love you like my dad loves chocolate
Like *** people love rainbows
Like people with anxiety love public speaking
But most of all
I love you the same way you love me(and maybe a little more)
today I had an extremely good day. I went on a girls only field trip about stem careers and then hit the school dance with my awkward friends. I spent most of the night telling them just how much I love them and not being afraid to dance. 1-800-273-8255 came on. I got home and realized just how many of them could actually relate, how many didn’t want to participate because of the tears. and then I had an overwhelming fear of losing them.
CautiousRain Jul 2017
Levitated silhouettes
suspended by the throats
you’re surely a goner
when your own shadow croaks.
When you look back at your shadow and it just seems to fade away
Britney Lyn Jul 2017
She was just a girl whose eyes were constantly filled with the darkness that ate holes in her soul.
the lost girl Dec 2016
I know you're not here
to grab the blade
Hug me, telling me
You will stay
Today and tomorrow
When ever I just say...

Promise you won't cry
If I die
Just like u didn't
When u left me
Cause I lied
You asked if it mattered
If you left
And I said
That's okay
Nothing's gonna change
But I lied
Everything has changed
AvengingPoet Jan 2016
i’ve got so many questions
yet you expect me to answer them all
in a moment’s notice

but i’ve got to face it
they won’t be satisfied
and i’ll have to catch my own breath

it’s up to me to do what i’ve got to do
i want to be known
through love and respect

nearly every day, weak and beaten down
that is how i am
hiding behind the mask of another day

that is not to say that i feel worthless
my optimism is here to guide me…
and somedays…i wonder if faith will…

i’ve got to destroy my friend,
the one who seems to care about what others think,
that Demon In The Nighttime, that is what I like to call him.

2 in the morning
contemplating questions when i should be sleeping
but that’s okay, it’s another piece to my endless puzzle

i’ve got her
the one i know has my back
to help curb my anxiety from exploding

my fears..
my anxiety..
**** em’.

gotta **** em’
gotta **** that Demon
he isn’t gonna get a ****** thing.

another morning
day has begun
sun is shining on the ground

i won’t be asking what will i do today
i will be asking what can i change today
change to reduce that Demon.
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