As years they did pass I knew In my heart that our years together were
over
through illness Helen suffered our days were closing
fast
and door to our life together was always wide open
was slowing starting to close the light In Helen's eyes had begun to
dim
and sadly I knew she was losing her fight to live
for
the days of our life where numbered and fast coming to an end

Helen was a poorly girl she
toward the end before I lost her the mental state of her illness started to return may have also had the start of
dementia
Some of the things Helen would come out with, could be hurtful but then again they also could be very funny
I remember Helen's breathing had become a problem had to call the paramedic she had only a few weeks earlier been In Lincoln
Hospital
she had nearly died there she hated It there, I knew Grantham Hospital doors
closed 6 pm I had to make the call to get In Grantham Hospital
before they shut the doors because It would mean going to Lincoln so I told Helen I making the call understandable didn't want to go
anywhere
but I knew she be looked after In Grantham Hospital  I told her, and she said you make the call I won't love you anymore
knew Helen didn't mean this
It was her illness talking, I made the call  from the kitchen and went back to her and I said don't you love anymore
with no expression emotion nothing she just said of cause I don't my son had to laugh If you didn't you would have cried she was unaware of what she was
saying
I had no problem forgiving her I had lived through those early days when she was really ill but
she
Improved over the years so It was a little bit hard to face all of this a second time around but I loved and that all
mattered

I get started

Just tell myself
First step’s the hardest
First mile’s the farthest

Just tell myself
You got this
You can’t miss

Just tell myself
One step at a time
It’ll all be fine

Just tell myself
You can make it
All the way
Gotta take it
Day by day

Just tell myself
I’m with you friend

Until
I get
To the end

I will not fade away
I'm going to make it worthwhile
I'll live so long I might even meet
your great great great grandchild

If you want to destroy me
so be it
If you want to hurt me
this negative energy bounces off
of me to you so fast you
won't believe it

Since you want to be tough
come on
let's get it over with
a battle I know I'll win

I'm going to put up a fight
that you'd wish you never started
this isn't for the fainthearted