You say we could laugh and be merry tomorrow.
How funny and stupid at the same time.
The world laughed yesterday and cried today,
We cried today so maybe we can laugh next.

I hope you'd have a million dollar smile,
A crow's feet by your eyes,
And someone who'd photograph those laugh lines.
Put it in a special box.
And may you stumble upon it at the right time when joy is elusive.
May you be reminded
Everything shall pass.
So the tears that are falling right now will dry up and there will be unending joy coming soon.

This heart is deceitful above all things.
It is high on feelings on a Saturday morning.
Who can understand its battles, its dancing, its bending?
Mold me and remove this fickleness.
Help me go back to your will.

In the middle of the crowd, I heard the crickets' song.
Laughter was muted as if to pay respect to one heart being broken.
Footsteps sounded like claps prepared to applaud the orchestra of eyes not meeting.

The once chirping birds sounded like cars honking.
The air felt heavy and the cozy felt cold.
And though it was spring, dead leaves kept falling.
And all the warm feelings were exchanged with a sad song.

Akala **** hindi mo na makikita pa kahit kailan. Ngunit iniluwa siya ng gabi. Unang beses sa mahabang pagkakataon, kinumbinsi mo ang sarili at kinumbinsi siyang samahan kang maglakad ng mabagal sa maiksing kalsada. Hindi siya pumalag. At sa dulo, inalis niya ang tuyong dahong nakasabit sa buhok mo. At gaya ng dati, hindi siya magpapaalam. Ibabalik mo siya sa gabi, ika labing isang minuto makalipas ang alas onse, iniisip kung sinong magmamay-ari sa kanya balang araw. Uuwi kang mag-isa, wala nang traffic sa EDSA, wala na ring lumbay. Sa iyo ang huling halakhak pero ngingiti ka na lang at magbubuntong hininga.

I pretended to be under the stars with you.
The make-shift strobe lights from cheap laser pointers became shooting stars in which you offered wishes while I look in amazement. I don't know the color of the stars in space, but ours are red. And red is anger and hunger and maybe that's why it didn't last.
Or maybe, I'm just blaming those cheap laser pointers because I have to justify my short-lived love, my faults.

I recognize you like the first fallen leaf signaling autumn. I know you looked like someone for the future, but the present stopped me from whispering wishes onto dead trees. And the orange cardigan that's giving me warmth stayed inside the closet. I hoped for spring in fall but September disapproved.

Dead leaves covering pavements the same way they cover graves. And my feelings are flickering like candle in birthday cakes but not in celebration.
You never look for me. You never look at me. And it's fine now because I have learned to appreciate comings and goings. But you, you came but never stayed.

Love approved of the next chapter and I finally looked forward, straight ahead, after looking at the sidelines for a long time. I saw love and was surprised that love was already looking at me.

I opened my box,
Turned the ****,
Hand and feet on position
And danced to the music.

Sometimes, the music is joyous.
Sometimes, it is melancholic.

I am waiting for the day
When I don't have to turn the ****
To hear music.

And I am waiting for the day
I finally outgrow my enclosure.

When my soul is on its knees,
I hold my hands together
And call to the divine.
And then I write eloquently of the past
And of the sacred future.

It will come soon.
When joy is etched on my skin
And death will tremble when I laugh
Because the devil cannot tease me anything anymore
For I would want nothing from him.

I saw someone fall in love again.
Said his heart danced
to a different beats-per-minute than before.
It smelled of pressed jasmine and maturity
compared to cotton candy kisses and butterfly wings.

I asked why does he keep comparing?

He said
The first love's immaturity is a gate
To the next one's finesse.

Temptation is a beautiful white bird in the forest
Leading to a house made of
Gingerbread and candy canes.

It shouts, "Witch inside!"
But you wouldn't know
Unless you learn to say no
To every eye-catching offer of the evil.

Hassle.
Nagsulat si Fidel,
Pero anong nangyari?
Walang napala sa isang daang tula,
Luha ang kapalit at sakit ang sinapit
Dahil pinilit ang gusto pero ang gusto niya ay pumili ng iba.

Kaya hindi na kita gagawan ng isang daang tula.
Titigil na dito sa pang pito at hindi na tutuloy sa walo.
Talo.
Talo lang din naman kahit umabot pa ng singkwenta,
Dahil hindi naman benta sayo ang mga pakulo,
Ang mga salitang kinumpila para iparating na ika'y gusto.

Ano na nga ba ang gagawin ko?
Ititigil na ang pag titig sa litrato,
Lalabanan ang isipan na pagbulay-bulayan ang mga dahilan
kung bakit hindi maaring maging tayo.

Piniling hindi ka na alayan ng 'sang daang tula.
Piniling alisin ka sa aking haraya.
Pinipiling maging malaya.
Magpapaubaya.

Pero minsan talaga
'Di mapigilan magsulat ng isa pa
At isa pa,
Hanggang sa nakakatawa na
Dahil umabot na pala sa isang daan ang mga tula.

Most Days,
I dream of becoming taller
So I can reach the stars.

And then he came
And promised the Milky Way.

But before I can even hold
Dead stars in my hands,
He jumped to another galaxy
And left me wishing,
"I wish I was taller."

The sky opened up and then
Rain in the middle of summer poured.
A sudden, familiar feeling wrapped around me.
A feeling forgotten because it's not in season,

But it feels nice to see gray skies once in a while.
Especially when I'm sitting on a park bench holding my pen,

I write when rain comes and when it doesn't,
Just as I write when love comes and when it doesn't.

When you feel betrayed,
Do not get even.

Do not let it keep you awake.
Forgive and have a good night's rest.

In the end,
You have forgiven and at peace.

Imagine how anxious Judas must have felt
After he betrayed Jesus?

There's a reason why the sun is the center of the solar system.
It means, the world does not revolve around me.
It's a truth that I often forget.
But one thing is for sure:
I still matter,
No matter what.
I occupy space and breathe its air.
I'm not just an energy at rest and then consumed
And in a loop.

I have a body, soul, and spirit
That is making imprints
And is ready to change the world
One breath at a time.

I did not come with an instruction
Like a box that says,
"Fragile, handle with care."

Most of the time,
I am quiet and alone with my thoughts.
Sometimes, I am louder than the trucks honking in the freeway.

I am the calm in the middle of chaos.
I am also the storm itself.
I like logic,
But live to defy it.

My stories may not be all rainbow slinkies and polly pockets,
But I know,
I am made of miracles and chilly Sunday mornings.

They say scars are ugly.
They tell us to cover it up as if it's shameful to have one.
But scars are proof that we overcame a battle,
And though we had been wounded,
We survived.

The stories behind scars proved that
We did not stay in ruins after chaos.
We got up and started to build an upgraded version of ourselves.
And those scars are reminders that
We can grow stronger throughout our journey.

Each scar deserves a place in this life.
So we can look back at it
As if one looks at a masterpiece displayed in the finest museum.

If ever you find yourself doubting your existence,
remember that there's a reason you are alive.

Lavenders are not always in bloom,
but when they are
they become beautifully alive.
And everyone is in awe of its splendor.
Not even a king's robe can compare.

Sometimes pruning is necessary for growth.
Sometimes healing comes through rain.
Sometimes a year of drought makes you realize
how much you wanted to be alive,
and you start praying for rain.

You're almost there.
Like a lavender,
exude a strong scent
reminding everyone your time to bloom has come.

On nights like this,
I do not apologize to the ceiling for staring too long.

I let my eyes wander to every corner
looking for hints
as to where it kept my midnight secrets.

I thank it for its silence
and for reminding me,
I can stare more,
I can share more.

When I was younger, I asked God for you.
He replied with a no. I tried to justify myself,
Still, he said no. I moved on.

A few years later, I asked why he could not compromise us
And he showed me that
I have the kind of love that is too much for you and
You have the kind of love that would leave me unsatisfied,
And I was never meant for that.

He made me remember the time I can't sleep
Because I was looking for more and the time
I was left hanging like a deer on a cliff,
And I realized he's right.

So don't come back.
I'm not going back on that cliff anymore.

I hope one day you find your muse
And that you won't stop writing songs for her.
I hope you find her when the sun is setting
And you're drinking your warm coffee in your favorite coffee shop.
I hope your eyes meet when she's outside the window
And the wind is blowing her hair.
And you hear God's confirmation.
She's the one.
And then you will realize, it was never me after all.

She's a vanilla kind of person.
There's simplicity and lightness in the way her lips curve
and her cheeks blush.

Sweetness can be felt with every touch of her fingertips.
And whenever the wind blows through her hair,
Sun rays peek as if passing through forest of juniper trees.

Every step she takes are like melodies
from harp strings played by an angel.

Take your heart and wrap it in fine silk.
Love elegantly like candle-lit dinner and aged wine.
Slow dance to jazz or juke box
Until your body memorizes every step
to the beat of hearts loving.

But do not forget to guard that fragile thing.
Remind yourself that your heart is too precious
To be broken easily by unworthy knights.

You are not weak just because they told you.
No!
You are made from bamboo and sunlight
So stand tall and be not swayed by the storms.

You can be a queen without a king,
A goddess without a god,
And a spear with a poisonous head.

Fight.

Fight those who try to take away your existence,
For you have survived chaos
and you have been sharped by your praying soul.

Hold the pen and write your own story.
And when they try to tell you that you look like someone they knew,
Tell them their eyes are not even enough to take a look at you.

The love that assures.
The arms that are ready to hold.
The love that reassures.
The love of a mother.

The eyes of a beloved give answers in yes or no
and the details in between.
It is not just a window to the soul.
It is a candle to dark rooms and a warning at the edge of a ravine.
It is not magic,
But science backed with knowledge and experience.
Sometimes it is a hypnotizer's pocket watch,
But every day it is just the eyes of a beloved asking
if you have not eaten yet.

Of course I can't remember the first time I thought of something good about myself. But I remember hating my skin because others hated it too.

Not everyone was born as mesmizing as Mona Lisa, capturing the heart of a certain Da Vinci and being immortalized in a masterpiece.

Some are birthed like a venus flytrap, often overlooked or overly looked at for being different. But their strongness is to be applauded, and their beauty entices you to feel them until you can't let go. Their charm makes the goddess of beauty ashamed of its name.

I was born of ashes and smokes and volcanic eruption, and also of rivers and harps that gave pain and joy to my mother and father.

My eyes are made of cosmic dusts, you can see galaxies in them. My lips are strong as fishing knots able to spit hooks, catch whales, and tame them.

Every word I speak seduces the one who listens, and like the Titanic, it is too late to realize that you have encountered an ice berg.

My heart is carved in diamonds and salvation, strong on the outside but there is heaven within after you pass through forests of healed anxiety and scars.

My pen always writes novels and poetry and secret love letters to the moon. But my glass window walls them, I am not sure if ever she has heard them.

My feet take me to my room, for there is my comfort and there are my books.

I am not as mesmerizing as Mona Lisa - possessing beauty of the golden ratio - but I can be The Starry Night, a masterpiece made under various weather conditions. Maybe seen as a failure at first, but turned out to be one of the best.

I am waiting for the full moon to arise,
and for the shooting stars to pass.
So that I could close my eyes
and wish
that right now
you'd become
someone that I dislike.

There were no railways to follow
There were no signs to read
and no traffic light to signal.

There were only traces of memories
but we still, somehow, found a way
to hurt each other again.

Why did you wait for the white knight to save you..
When you knew in the first place that he was the dragon.

But my eardrums broke after listening at the endless silence of the galaxy of your mind.

I woke up in another dimension, swimming endlessly and looking for a key that will unlock and free me in this blackhole.

But all I found was a door transporting me to another puzzle that I cannot solve.

I almost gave up until a comet passed and guided me back to the core where I found the fragile, beating heart that started it all.

I talk in commas and periods,
you talk in italic subtitles.