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I
am so,
alone.

i need a friend.
i want to talk to my friend

no.

Why?

you'll be a burden, she's busy.
she's got more important things to do.

then..who do i talk to?

me.

but, you're me.

I,
am so,
alone.
i want to fall asleep,
and when I wake up.
I want it all to have been,
just another nightmare
Ivy Leigh Sep 12
Big and full
and so lonely.
I want to break this circle
return to play
and the way things were
at the beginning
of my new birth.
Craving and empty
words come out of my mouth.
The beauty sits in my womb
or at the bottom of my stomach.
I'm beginning to think
its only tangible form is in my writing.
For it isn't in the relationships I share.
They are not there.
This feels to me like a first page type of poem.
Osal Sep 2
Although in flesh and bone I may turn to dust
I am eternal in the space of your heart
For each pump lifts up laughter
and each blink pauses dreams
I will stay stay forever yours
as long as a part in you still believes
time ticks us apart but our memories be are portals forever... which the gates are open as long as you keep them that way.. locking them and hiding them are your choice. for as gates of heaven unshaken.. they shall never be gone...
emzee Aug 26
It's my heart,
Which made her morning so soccery

It's my eyes
Which she afraid most...her sins are so hidden

It's my ears
Which trust her words not obviously

It's my hand ,
,hold her tightly,even don't knowing she need a rescue
It's my face

That she feds up ...but I didn't know that

It's me
Recently victims the silent betrayal
Lol but somewhat serious
madyson shaye Aug 10
it isn't that bad. I like my shower, the tub is wide and its a nice silky green that makes it appear super clean which is good because I am a (reformed) dirty person who is scared of dirty showers. it's just so small, I think a little too small, and the kitchen is uncomfortably right in the room. like it's just, right there, there is no divide. it does have these cute little green and blue shelves but they're mediocre. dust gets into it a lot but it's two inches big so its not like it's that big of a deal to sweep it, I'm sure if I had to maintain much more I wouldn't be able to call myself a reformed dirty person because I'd get lazy and give up. I think I'm going to fill in the idea catcher book I bought not too long ago, keep myself busy, you know. I'm gonna go to Bookman's tomorrow and get some more little books like that, maybe one poetry based or song based, anything to keep my brain and hands busy. I used to hate that because I thought I was just pushing off inevitable pain, that if I didn't feel it all ALL ALL, like with the intensity of a dust storm on the i10 when you literally can't see a foot in front of you, I would be doing myself a disservice. I think I was a little naive. I'm not pushing off pain by breathing, staying busy, and not dwelling. I'm continuing, I'm moving forward, I'm not letting my emotions run my entire life. I am able to understand that my baseline is raised but that doesn't mean I have to stoop down to its level.
I do hope we work this out. I have said a lot of stuff and thought even more, but I love you and I want to be with you. I have to love me more though, and that's my focus. I think I might need to tell you I need some space where we don't talk because I don't want to be sitting by the phone, I don't want to end up worrying or getting anxious over what you're doing, I don't want any reason to get panicked. Maybe I just need to avoid triggers for a bit, let myself chill, breathe and relax without feeling guilty for being a suppressor. oh god, how angry I am at you, my birthday is in like two weeks. I don't want to do anything on that day and I especially don't want to see or hear from you, not unless everything is normal, which it shouldn't be. are we skipping over our anniversary? see, this is what I mean. it doesn't matter, its a pointless day that is forced onto us by capitalism and the idea that if we make more holidays people will spend more money, it doesn't really matter what day we met as long as we are spending the following days TOGETHER, I don't need to stress about these things/ maybe its because I'm so tired (I have slept 4 hours in the last 36 hours) but right now, I just want to feel settle. this wasn't my doing, I didn't choose to be here, I shouldn't have to feel it too. I want to put something in here about how I'm sure I'm going to feel it, I'm sure there's no escaping the empathy I've been cursed with ever since I first found the love of drug addicts and mental illnessee's all thanks to my dear departed father who was, ahem, both, call it daddy issues , but I am not going to. I am not going to feel it. its not my job to mourn the loss of something you ruined. fix it. it makes me feel less panicked when the ball is in my court and I have to remember that. I have to keep the control, it's the only way ill keep my cool.
re: do I tell you I can't talk to you for a few days?
re: RE: probably a good idea, but will it make it hurt worse? could it possibly be harder on us than need be?
FWD: RE: RE: seeing you will be the hardest part. knowing I only get glimpses, never a stare.
re: well? are you gonna do it then?
re: RE: im not sure if I'm strong enough.
FWD: RE: this situation isn't something that is happening to me, it is a decision I am 100% a part of. I am not okay with what has happened and I am standing up for myself, even if sometimes I get anxious and that's a little blurry.
re: RE: I didn't mean it when I said never mind, when I said we could continue on like nothing ever happened. I would never let myself be apart of something so unhealthy, not ever again. I wish I took a bit of time for myself this morning before seeing you, I bet it would have made it a little easier. I shouldn't have talked to Jake, there was no point. I love him for hearing me cry though.
DELETE MESSAGE?
DELETE INBOX?
not sure but my heart is a lil broken just so u all know. damn this bitch is resilient!! I guess thats another thing I can put on my list of good qualities. I'm gonna build it up until I love myself more than I have ever loved another person place or thing.

*you don't deserve a tag, and I'm also a little embarrassed.
It was an experiment I did
but not until I woke to it.
Smile, smile, all the time,
walk? more like a divine stride.
Smile, smile, all the time,
walk? more like flight.
Then I felt a funny thing
but not until I woke to it.

You can smile for the world
all you want, but if they,
don't like your face,
the Hallmark, "Share the love,"
doesn't mean much,
does it?

Oh, yes! I can see
the Happy Days ahead.

Tell me, tell me, all the time,
walk? catch optimism's ride.
Tell me, tell me, all the time,
the ride is more like flight.
Freedom through
and through.

What if this one sided freedom
for me clasps my wrists like chains?

Smile, converse, be true and kind,
you'll receive the love you give.

Right. Right.

Must be nice to be acceptable and
appeal.

Right. Right.

Right?
The more I smile, the more I'm met with malaise,
so when you say,
"I feel sorry for you,"
I feel sorry for you, too.
<3
Maria Etre Jun 18
I think
I fall for
falling
i
n
|
l
|
o
|
v
|
e
to
find more
ways
to write
your name
differently
in my
poetry
clever Jun 9
we can’t play tag with time forever.
it’ll catch us soon.
There was a girl
With a plaid skirt,
A red bow,
And lovely pink cheekbones.
She carried a smile,
Sometimes a laugh,
When we ran through
The church parking lot.
She was so fast
In her white stockings
And little black shoes
That it became hard
To keep up with her.

I wonder when,
I wonder why,
She stopped playing tag,
I wonder how it was
That she forgot
How to run.

I miss you, my friend,
You were the best there ever was.
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