5d · 31
mjad 5d
windows down
twenty over
rain pouring in
back seats are covered
world is ours
time to takeover
no more fear
happiness rediscovered
5d · 37
mjad 5d
heart is pumping
you grab my waist
a tickle fight begins
and "just friends" end
as you tickle my lips
with your kisses
Jan 20 · 76
mjad Jan 20
Gates of heaven are locked
I checked em before I ran next door and knocked
welcomed in before my hand even hit the door
make yourself at home you've been here before
ain't that how it always goes
take what you can get when the other doors are closed
had a fair share of all time lows ya know
but how do you know when it's the ultimate low
hell's always open, gotta find the key to the other place
because they don't let in just any pretty face
It's a mess meh
Jan 15 · 88
mjad Jan 15

In then out
Breathe, don't shout
Think, don't fight
It will be alright
Jan 15 · 212
mjad Jan 15
I'd rather stay in
than pass out drunk with a guy you refer to as "him"
because you were too tipsy to ask his name,
and now are sleeping in his puke with a migraine.
Jan 14 · 104
mjad Jan 14
People don't really ever change
They stay the same
They have one home they go back too
One smell that brings them back when they close their eyes
There's always one lover they remember more than others
Always that one home cooked meal that they crave
One person they long to see after years apart
There's one gravestone they will fix the crooked flowers of
One old friend they wish they hadn't lost track of over time

There is always the same roots to one tree even if the branches fall off
People don't really ever change
Jan 14 · 102
mjad Jan 14
we get ice cream and fries
we don't actually eat we go outside
the retro music blares over the speakers
we splash in puddles with our beat up sneakers
wow you have my heart beating
even if it is only our second time meeting
it's dark but the neon sign lights up a spot
of the empty dance floor parking lot
the restaurant window seaters give us a glance

we dance
it was such a wonderful night i want to marry him
Jan 14 · 118
mjad Jan 14
....What are we?

His head tilts slightly
Feet stop where they are
I ask again lightly

What are we?....

He lets out no confession
To the floor his eyes drop
Once again I question

..What are we?..

His response comes slow
Eyes meet mine
"I don't know."
he was actually smiling and grabbing my hand but it felt like this when he said it
Jan 13 · 105
mjad Jan 13
they come and go
i never say no
hold my hand
grab my waist
pull me under
hold my face
bite my lip
have a taste
no time to waste
all the same
copy and paste
Jan 13 · 109
mjad Jan 13
so toned and fine
drowning in your blue eyes
ive been waiting quite some time
finally a wild boy for me
i can call you mine
Jan 12 · 185
replaced (haiku)
mjad Jan 12
no words to express
all the kisses up and down
he is replaced
i suck at haikus
Jan 12 · 635
mjad Jan 12
his hair swished to the side
he flicked his fingers through his bangs
his eyes darted down to me
his hands exited his pockets
mine reached towards his face

"If you want me to make the first move, you're going to be up for a wait. You're half a head taller, I'm not growing six inches at this rate. . ."

so he holds my hands
he lowers himself down to me
his lips hover in front of mine
he flashes a smile
his hands drop mine and grab my waist

"This leaning down better be worth the back pain,"

He smirks and pulls me in
I laugh while my lips touch his
he dips me and spins me around
his height doesn't matter in the end
Because we will both end up on the ground
im only 5'2"so 6'0" is a stretch
Jan 12 · 171
mjad Jan 12
things happen
words slip
lips collide
tears drip
but sometimes
those things
are good
loving words
tender kisses
joyful tears
not bad
Jan 12 · 55
mjad Jan 12
It circles around me,
it nuzzles its face next to mine,
shouting, "Don't be afraid!
It will work out in time!"
"But what if it doesn't?"
asks the doubting voice in my mind.
"Well than it will be a lesson to learn,
that patience and hard work
don't always earn you what you deserve."
Jan 12 · 153
mjad Jan 12
I had a talk with myself in the shower
It was a long overdue conversation
The suds of the shampoo blurred my vision
And they seemed to cloud my thoughts too
If he came back would you be strong?
Would you hold your hard-earned place?
Or would you break down like a house of cards?
Shattering your emotions like a China vase?
I would be the independent girl I am getting to know
The girl I see clearer in the mirror everyday
The one that would tell him to leave me alone and go his own way
He had his chance now I'm taken
By someone who loves me for everything
Who sees my flaws and embraces them
Not notices and demeans them
I am taken by myself.
A better long awaited self.
I turned the water off and stepped out,
Cleansed in more ways than one.
i am over him and the freedom is oh so liberating
Dec 2017 · 311
mjad Dec 2017
How much should we risk
For an overdue twenty minutes of fun?
It might just be adrenaline running
Between two somebody's,
Both replacing a someone.
Dec 2017 · 193
mjad Dec 2017
Cracked kitchen tiles
Send chills down my back
Is this too sinful of an act?

His toned body against my own
warms my anxious bare chest
Will this prove too hard of a test?

As if they know every inch,
his fingertips began to trace my spine
But I am not his and he is not mine

My eyes meet his in the dim light
My hands decide to messy his hair
Our mouths indulge; we no longer care.
Dec 2017 · 699
mjad Dec 2017
My heart is nothing too you
You held it with your trembling hands
Careful as to not hold too tight
I held yours carefully too

However you held too loose
Your grip weakened and let my heart slip right through
The bloody chunk of flesh fell without excuse

You let it break and shatter
All the memories and love I stored
Splattered across every wall in front of us
To you my heart didn't matter
Dec 2017 · 141
mjad Dec 2017
Thanks, but no thanks
I'm looking for words, not action.
I want my mind to drool over you,
I want my heart to jump at what you say,
Not how you handle me,
Not the foreplay,
But if you can verbally make my day
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
mjad Dec 2017
"You know what's funny?"
--this phrase indicates that no humor lies ahead,

"He said he would die for me. . .
and now he wishes I was dead."
Dec 2017 · 128
mjad Dec 2017
An old friend spoke to me today
Actually an old crush, I should say
Tall and lanky, blonde and blue eyes
Kind and smart, not like other guys
He has someone now
Lucky girl she is, anyhow
I have most definitely missed out
I rejected him over one doubt
He could have been mine
If only I didn't misread all the signs
Now I'm listening to him complain
About some class causing him pain
How I wish I could say more...
Than "yeah, that class is such a bore."
Nov 2017 · 118
mjad Nov 2017
She sits on my lap
Plump and fat
Wrinkling my dress
I pet away all my stress

(cats are not evil)
At least I know mittens won't leave me
Nov 2017 · 239
mjad Nov 2017
Sometimes things have to break
To make something wonderful
Although they are full of cracks
Mosaics are beautiful

(we could be a mosaic, love)
hope kills me
Nov 2017 · 87
mjad Nov 2017
The world spins
It spins and spins
We never question
Or doubt or fear
What would happen
If it suddenly halted
We are too busy
Walking and talking
Loving and hating
To think about words
That we don't want to hear
The end is inevitable

My sorrow grows
It grows and grows
I never question
Or doubt or predict
What would happen
If it suddenly stopped
I am too busy
Sulking and sobbing
Raging and ranting
To think about anything
That could be a bit joyful
Happiness is invisible
Nov 2017 · 106
mjad Nov 2017
Maybe one day you'll see me
Perhaps one day you'll love me too
Maybe one day you'll call
But you never do

Maybe one day you'll realize
Perhaps one day you'll laugh with me
Maybe one day you'll end the goodbyes
But you never do
Inspired by "from the dining room" Harry styles
Nov 2017 · 142
mjad Nov 2017
I need to move forward and forget
But the image of you won't leave my head
Make it all go away
Make all of you go away
Make this heartache go away
Well guys... I broke up with him bc he stopped loving me, the problem being I still am in love with all of him
Nov 2017 · 122
mjad Nov 2017
my life is not yours
it is not yours to
      or break
                    or make new
my life belongs to me
it is mine to
         far away
                        from you
trying something new
Nov 2017 · 57
mjad Nov 2017
everything moves too fast
the shelter of this bubble
is not slow enough
needles poking and prodding
it's about to pop
Nov 2017 · 145
mjad Nov 2017
his heart for me has halted
loving me leaves him exhausted
my heart is ever racing
he leaves me craving his embracing
this trouble is not my doing
I know loving me is confusing
but people change uncontrollably
I don't want to live inconsolably
come back to me and love my heart
work with me, I fear we will fall apart
I love you, please, love me
a heartbreak would be deadly
im scared ive already lost him
Oct 2017 · 221
Depending (haiku)
mjad Oct 2017
depending with whom:
one kiss feels like a million;
heartbeats never stop
i suck at haikus lol
Oct 2017 · 222
mjad Oct 2017
he does not know
how soft his lips are
how tender pressed against mine
how the corners of his eyes crinkle
when he shuts them to put his face onto mine
how my lipgloss leaves sparkles on his nose
how his eyelashes tickle my cheekbones
all these little things he does not know
he doesn't know how much I love everything about him
Sep 2017 · 117
mjad Sep 2017
I wish my tongue was not a dagger
I wish my brain was not a sword
If only I could keep my tongue and mind from clashing
If only they would say the same words
Sep 2017 · 130
mjad Sep 2017
there is only ever small talk
the silence kills me
the conversation is dead
i miss how it was before
story after story
never a bore
it changes as the seasons go
soon it will be melting along with the snow
Sep 2017 · 112
mjad Sep 2017
There is never ending pressure
To be the light in such a darkened society
But what can a candle with no wick do
Besides melt at the heat of another
Sep 2017 · 139
mjad Sep 2017
What is happiness?
It is merely the name of an old friend...


What is sadness?
Sadness is more than a friend;
It is tangled with me like a lover in sheets.
It drowns out all laughter.
It drains all energy.
It shatters hope.
It devours joy.
It is not a what,
But a who.
Sep 2017 · 92
mjad Sep 2017
Emotions are so overwhelming
Even in their simplest essence
They build and break and destroy
They shape and form and create
The hardest thing about emotions
Is having no control over what to break
And no control over what to create
Because sometimes
A heart can break
And the only thing created is a tragedy
Sep 2017 · 89
mjad Sep 2017
You may know you are better,
But that can mean nothing,
When everyone thinks you are not.
Sep 2017 · 107
mjad Sep 2017
My edges may be burned,
But I can set your whole life on fire,
And I will take everything that you have not earned.
Jul 2017 · 192
mjad Jul 2017
The sun shines on everything
It doesn't choose where not too
The rain pours on everything
It doesn't choose where not too
Our words affect everyone
We don't have a choice of who
Jul 2017 · 426
mjad Jul 2017
I miss the long nights
And the many friends
I miss the loud laughs
And the many regrets
I miss the chances I had
To be a part of something

I miss the way everyone was
So effortlessly friendly
I miss the noises and messes
That we all created
I miss being someone
And having others around me

I miss having friends.
And being with people
I miss thriving
And feeling alive
I miss having fun
Because now it's all gone
Jun 2017 · 134
mjad Jun 2017
I don't quite know where I am going,
And I don't quite know what I need.
But I know what I want,
And can taste it.
But sadly,
it's so far
out of
May 2017 · 693
mjad May 2017
It can be so hard to make your way through
The crowd of hatred
Of people going against you

It can be hard to disregard
The negative shouts and voices
That tell you you're going the wrong way

It can be hard to believe in yourself
And to simply breathe and understand
That your own voice

Which tries so hard to be heard
May tremble and shake
And that is okay

As long as you believe the words
That are being shaken out
Even though it can be hard
May 2017 · 1.0k
mjad May 2017
why do I
feel like there is nothing for me
never any happy days
or acceptance or praise
just the heavy burden of feeling imperfect
and failing to please a stranger
the stranger being society
and its impossible to reach standards
May 2017 · 177
mjad May 2017
we are running low
on words
on stories to share
on struggles to rant about
and the silence is deafening

we are running low
on each other
on the sound of each other's voices
on the smiles and sights of our joy
and the distance is suffocating

we are running low
on the feeling we get when we see each other
on the butterflies in our stomachs
on the goosebumps up our arms
and the emptiness is shattering

I am running low on you
May 2017 · 266
mjad May 2017
"You are too young,"
"You do not mean what you say,"
Our parents and our friends,
they fail to see our love
but, my goodness is it ever bright.
How could they not see it?
Best friends turned lovers
is so perfectly right.
May 2017 · 937
mjad May 2017
the touch of someone's skin on another's
has been written about plenty already
but I swear to you
his touch is like no other
so innocent and fragile
but commanding and strong
yet gentle and caring
while he bites me all along
the sting and the numbness
the tickle of his tongue
his touch is like no other
so right though so wrong
all my softness in his clutch
his being needs no guide
he knows where and how to touch
as his eager mouth finds mine
his tracing fingertips bring chills
up my chilly and bare spine
his touch is one that nearly kills
but I am on cloud nine
May 2017 · 249
mjad May 2017
I feel like I am never good enough.
or is it that everyone else expects too much?
I am not perfect.
I am flawed like they are,
and I accept that they are ignorant
of their rude and judgemental ways,
because I am assuming that deep down,
they might feel the same.
May 2017 · 181
mjad May 2017
I have a lover
he is the kind others dream for
he makes me feel a way
I did not know before
he makes me think in a way
I feared thinking before
He treats me in a way
I was not used to being treated like before
He makes me want to love him
like I have never loved before
and I love him
like no one has before me
like no one ever will
because there will be no after me
May 2017 · 1.5k
mjad May 2017
sometimes it is hard
to be convinced of the truths
that you feel are lies
and when you are proven right
it becomes even harder
to accept that people
cannot ever be trusted

sometimes it is hard
to be convinced that life is not so bad
that you have it good
and when you are proven wrong
it becomes even harder
to accept that you
should be thankful for the pain

sometimes it is hard
to be convinced that you are good enough
that you are not lacking
and when you finally see it
it becomes harder
to accept that you should love
the people that took you for granted
Apr 2017 · 263
mjad Apr 2017
What can I say besides
I'm sorry
I don't look like the other girls
The ones you assure me
Don't compare at all
To my own beauty
The beauty I fail to see
What can I say besides
I'm sorry
My self esteem won't let me believe
I know it's unattractive
My never ending negativity
You say you love me
But I don't see what you see
I wish I was more for you
More for me
And I could say I love you
Back to my own body
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