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mjad 21m
I sleep over
I talk to his mom
I've met his dad
I'm too far gone
He holds me
Even in stress
Plants kisses
On my head
I hold his hand
Take care of him
When he can't stand
Jack too strong
Something's wrong
I like him
But I lost my voice
I can't say it
It's not my choice
mjad 22m
I sat unbuckled sipping my drink looking at him
Taking in his features as the street lights go dim

His floppy blonde hair and straight white teeth
I liked what I saw, but I want what's underneath

The thoughtful comment about having a good night
A random call because I'm crossing his mind

In reality it will be over soon because school will end
We will move away and on to a new more-than-friend

I'll get a job and he will chase a dream
The only time I'll see him is when I daydream

I'll call once in a while to hear his voice
Making time to hangout won't be my choice

He will be busy with new people and video games
I'll be distracted working learning my clients names

It hasn't yet ended, but I feel the shadow of fate above
I don't want to like him, let alone start to love

Yet, I know the latter will happen only from afar
When I'm old and famous I'll write of him in my memoir

Once my kids are asking me for stories about boys
I'll slip into memories and their voices will become white noise

Thinking back to the night I sat and stared at him
All while knowing I was drowning trying to swim

As I sat unbuckled sipping my drink
I wished I had sipped enough not to think
mjad 24m
I don't know where to start
Everyone thinks he will break my heart
He's selfish and tall
Just like the rest of them all

But yet he's different
We ****, then we hang
We chill with the gang
He listens when I talk
He let's me tell him when to stop
But yet I find myself craving
A label; something self damning
mjad 25m
Of all the fun I've ever had
Almost all I've never told you
From getting tattoos
To house parties with my crew
Almost all I've never told you
Seeing rappers you hate
Spending more than I earn
Staying out till the suns back up kinda late
Crashing at boys houses and talking to their mom
While smoking cigars and sharing more than lip balm
My friends knowing all the stories I've never told you
But you never knew, never found out about
The times I don't want to forget
You don't know about them yet
And my only regret out of all of it
Is that I can't tell you one bit
Part 4 to "Fun"
mjad Aug 21
i just realized that tonight might be my last
to spend in bed with my obese cat
purring under my arm
because now im an adult
and my life will move on
no more crying too
or talking and cuddling
and holding in front of a mirror
so she can see her reflection
no more petting or kissing
or waiting to scoop up when i come home
because now im an adult
and my life has to move on
and im moving out
a kiss on my finger
one last cuddle by my face
as she walks on my keyboard
as i type  this
accidentally hitting space
the saddest of goodbyes
that i'll ever have to face
true story
mjad Aug 16
im honestly terrified of liking you again
holding hands and talking in bed
id rather i just remain more than a friend
i dont want to know your weaknesses
your favorite food and candies
or the reason youre upset at your family
i just want to know your cologne
and eliminate the feeling of being alone
mjad Aug 2
You broadcast your faith
Singing praises in your posts
But is that how it really goes?

Is faith really your focus; your motivation
For getting drunk and partying
With evangelical consistence

Is God lighting up your life
As you light up a blunt
Faith is just your innocent front

Don't let yourself believe we fall for your facade
We know what you really do
and so does God
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