I don't believe in
intelligent design yet
somehow you're divine

1:18 PM
16/8/20

I was never a singer,
but when my heart was full
I could not help but
write you a song that
you will never
get to hear.

I love you sober
I love you high-
you have a kiss
that money can't buy.

And just like that,
you were gone-
a scent lost to the wind,
a sight lost to the void,
a touch lost to space
and a memory lost to time.

I am not
for everyone.
I am not
for this life.
I am not even for myself
on most days.

You are
still alive.
Breathe,
heal,
and you will thrive.
Just know that
this too shall pass
as you overcome
this impasse.

Forgiveness
was never my forte.
I never try to forget,
nor would I want to.
Is this why it is
so hard for me
to forgive?

I hate the way
your face reminds me
of a simpler time-
a collection of distant yet
unforgotten memories.
To this day I am left asking myself:
how could such a sublime smile
evoke such pain?
How can such innocent eyes
conjure such betrayal?
Whenever I see your face,
I can't help but wonder
what could have been.

If you want to last,
stop telling me one thing but
doing another

10:05 PM
10/8/20

Sitting in the bar
in that town
you used to live in-
wishing you were sitting at that stool
of where we first met.
I would pull up a seat
let the sparks ignite
and do it all over
again.

The ending
is just the beginning
repeating-
a pretty stranger
that I wish to see
again.

If the stars
were to fall with
every thought of you,
the sky would surely turn
to darkness and despair.

If the stars
were to shine with
every thought of you,
the sky would surely turn
to the heavens above.

When was the last time
someone knew you and not who
you pretend to be?

9:38 PM
3/8/20

I still hear
our favorite song
from time to time.
Each note still sets the key of you
and they're still ringing out
in my head.
There is no pause button
for this harmony
of you.

With nothing
but you,
my moon-
with nothing but your light
to guide me,
I made my way home
that night.
I cannot imagine
how much darker
it would have been
without you.

I dug up that grave-
I couldn't help myself and
now the ghosts haunt me

7:12 PM
29/7/20

I am forever
longing for the moment
where you and I
become
'we'

Your lips-
the doorway to that special place
I have made my home.
There's nowhere I feel safer than
beneath the roof of your tongue,
within the walls of your mouth.
We store our treasured memories
in the attic and
house the butterflies in the basement.
At last,
I am home.

As I come to terms with
the heartlessness within me,
I lose count of how many times
my heart has been broken-
how many shards still remain.
I may never recall,
but what I do know
is that the love you seek
within me does not remain.

There she was
waiting in the twilight
disguised as a pixie
in a field of
magic mushrooms.
Her aqua hair
smells of the ocean-
the kind that washes into your dreams,
but me,
I did not have to dream
tonight.

It's a long way to
utopia so make sure
to bring your coffin

8:37 PM
26/7/20

Not even the rain
could stop you from brightening
up this dreary day

6:37 PM
26/7/20

I didn't know
I needed her guidance
until she opened up her arms.
It might have been
her beauty,
it might have been
the drugs,
but with the way she read my cards,
I was convinced that she was
some sort of goddess
at one with
the universe.

The lust you feel
is nothing more than
the need for physical validation
that you are still desirable
to replace the emotional
rejection of being
unlovable.

Your eyes were
as warm as the sun.
To this day,
you still have me
chasing the horizon,
chasing that warmth
I felt with you.

This is not the life
I had in mind and I am
sick of pretending

10:53 PM
22/7/20

There is only
one road into this heart-
no speed limit,
and no exits to
speak of.

She is as bright
as a shooting star-
her trail brings beauty
upon this world.
Although I try to her,
she will never be within my reach.
But just to be in the presence
of such beauty is more
than I could ask for.

Chasing the night,
again.
Hoping for the one
to help me forget
about the
pain.

Even the bad ones are good-
they remind me of how poorly
reality measures up.

She was the
best dancer
in Tennessee.
I thought she
was going to
marry me.

There is
a road leading
deep within your soul.
It may be guarded
by demons but
it's a road I
wish to
travel.

We can
runaway
into the night,
hand in hand,
with nothing but
our dreams
to guide us home,
wherever home
may be...

I love you
louder than
the city that never sleeps.
New York,
it's got nothing on us,
baby.

I am just a ghost
walking with the wind
and it cuts through me
like a never-ending blizzard.
All I can do now is
gather memories
of warmer times,
of warmer eyes
of names that have long since escaped me.
When will these winter winds
whisk me away?
I don't want to feel again.

Do you find yourself
staring into the abyss when
there is no more light
left to be found?
We are only human-
were we ever meant to
know such dread?

Do you love
what we were?
who we are today?
or what we could
become?

If you want to keep
yourself safe and content then
never let them in

11:08 PM
15/7/20

Is it enough to
say 'I miss you' before you
walk the other way?

11:05 PM
15/7/20

I find myself
in the same winter grave
year after year.
Lucky for me,
it's not too cold
for me to claw my way
back into the warm arms
of summer.

I am forever
jealous of the nights not spent
by your side, my dear

7:44 PM
14/7/20

The sea
is shallow,
as is the Grand Canyon
when compared to how deep
my love is
for you.

There are few
who really know me
at all.
Sure,
some will know a few
facts about me-
they'll try to piece me together
in a way that makes sense to them.
Sometimes I believe the idea of me
that they have created
or perhaps I don't know
myself at all.

you can let people
leave when you know the ones who
care will always stay.

12:36 PM
6/7/20

I have long
forgotten the warmth
of the summer days-
inside my heart,
there is an
endless
winter.

Your smile still
shines like a sunflower
and only your laughter
can bloom this heart.

Perhaps time did not stop,
but life,
as I know it,
did.
Whenever I look back,
I'm still there,
amidst the chaos
and frozen
in time.

Some days
I miss the sun.
Nevertheless,
I still wake up and
see your smile-
that's all the warmth I need
to start the day.
These mornings could not
get any better.

I still hope
you find comfort
in the shirt you stole
from me.
The one I wore my
heart on my sleeve
for you.
Yeah,
I really miss
that shirt.

Do not be afraid
to raise the price
of what it costs
to access
you.