Just as the
dawning sun
kisses the sleeping Earth,
your smile brings
warmth and light
to my
soul.

We can’t try
to make sense of
the **** the universe or
what other people
throw our way.
Just know that whatever
they throw your way,
it says more about them
than it does
about you.

Please understand
that if I call
out your name
in the middle of
the night,
it is because you
kept a piece of
my soul
buried beneath your
pillowcase.

I used to
chase the sun.
I feared the sunset
and the darkness
that would prevail.
I didn't think the horizon
could be more beautiful
until I found my moon
that is you.

There's still
a part of me in London-
I left it in my dingy block
on Deptford High Street.
Another part of me still
remains in St James Park,
somewhere in the flowers
and another somewhere in
the markets of Camden Town.
I don't think it'll ever leave.

Maybe living is
itself morally worse than
never being born

4:08 PM
19/5/20

You’re in the colours
I see everyday and you’re
in the rainbows I see
on special days.
Even though I don't see you anymore,
you still make up the spectrum
that gives my life beauty.
I don't see how I could forget you
when you're still painting
the colours in my life.

Insomnia-
I don't mind it
if it involves making
memories
with you

The sum of my heart
needs no addition to it-
the answer is you.

10:51 AM
17/5/20

The closest thing to
heaven I've known was between
her hips and her thighs

5:50 PM
16/5/20

This heart
beats in silence
but then I met you
and now it can't
stop singing.

A new pen,
a new poem
a blank page.
There is something
charming about the emptiness-
a new start if you will.
All I ask is that
you help me
fill it in.

Sometimes,
we all feel a little lost-
lost in a void-
a prisoner of silence.
So come lay with me
here in the darkness,
in silence.
Perhaps we can bring
a little light to
each other's world.

What hope did we have
of ever navigating
through all of this mist?

11:10 AM
10/5/20

Love is
everywhere.
If only you could see it
the way I see it
through you.

All this time
we have been given,
I will not waste it.
I will not give up
on us.
I will keep on
trying.

Why do you always
have to be so beautiful
and distant like that?

5:46 PM
6/5/20

You were the last
bit of good in me.
You walked away,
and never gave it back.

By midnight,
I watched you fall
asleep,
as you watched me fall
in love.

Even when I
write about you,
the ink that smudges
upon my hand takes
the shape of you.

I would rather not.
You have shown your true colours-
The damage is done.

2:28 AM
3/5/20

Dear diary;
I have thought a lot
about leaving this all behind
and buying a one-way ticket
to anywhere where no one
knows my name.
I want to forget who I am
and lose myself
in another's culture.
I want to stay until I tire
and do it all again
somewhere else.

My heart is
a haunted house
made up of many rooms.
Some are filled with books
and antiques from another time
while others are filled
with shadows and demons.
I locked those doors long ago
and threw away the key.

You were an angel
turned to demon
and then to stranger.
You have blessed me
and cursed me ever since
you walked away.

I'll never forget that day
you caught me off-guard like that.
The way you so effortlessly
drew my breath away
upon first sight
as if to make room
for what could have been.

I don't know
how to leave behind
all of these lingering feelings
that still dwell
from within.

Oh, I wish
I could turn back time
and laugh with you again.
To laugh and cry,
to hold you once again.
But now you have your bubbles
and me, nothing left at all.
Bubble girl,
I don't know how
to keep you from the winds.
Bubble girl,
may they one day carry you
back into my arms.
But for now,
goodbye,
bubble girl.

I could play
your heartstrings all day,
blow a kiss through the horns
of our love
always
and forever.

Sometimes,
when I am lonely,
I will stare up at the moon
and smile knowing that her
twilight will kiss
you too.

One of my
favorite things to do
is to make you melt
again and again-
melt you into a puddle,
build you up again
and melt you yet again.

I've been painting a picture
for as long as I can remember.
I remember going out to buy the
canvas and paints, the brush and the easel.
I spent years on this painting,
making sure every stroke,
every shade was perfect.
I made mistakes,
but it was nothing I couldn't fix.
This painting is my pride and joy-
everything I have to show
for the last few years.
I invested everything into that painting:
time and money, tears and joy-
and then the painting was stolen away.
Sure, it might still be out there, maybe not,
but I don't think I will ever see it again,
no matter how hard I try.
All I can do now is remember how proud I was
of what I had accomplished and what went into it.
I think this is why it is so hard
for people to let go-
to start over and face a blank canvas
as daunting as that may be,
rather than not paint again.
This is why it is important to know
when to let it go,
to start again and forget
about my portrait
of you.

My heart remains
stuck in the same place-
immovable,
unbreakable,
but my love moves
and flows
through time.

The skies ache for the sun,
the seas thirst for the moon.
The stars kiss their planets,
and I yearn for you.

Won't you fall
into my arms?
I can be your palace
or your shallow grave.

Sometimes the heart picks
its own poison and mine has
chosen you, my dear

1:37 PM
18/4/20

I'm still a hopeless
romantic but you give me
the hope I long for

11:58 AM
17/4/20

Hey, you, maybe we
could start over again and
get it right this time

5:17 PM
16/4/20

My mind,
the largest metropolis I know.
Thoughts of you roam the streets-
our memories are set in concrete.
This city never sleeps,
but with you as
its population,
it knows peace.

Dear diary;
there's a musical riot
erupting in my
chest tonight.
My ribs echo
with the sounds of
chaos and harmony.

How can a woman
be so sweet and so spicy
all at the same time?

11:04 PM
14/4/20

Your breath
was as warm as fire,
your kisses raw and relentless.
Your tongue went wild inside his mouth
as if its life had depended on the taste.
We had caved into each other-
a hunger we could not satisfy.
And while I searched
for ways to justify our sins,
you were already exploring all the places
upon me that had gone untouched
for far too long.

Every love story
turns into tragedy if
you wait long enough

4:04 PM
12/4/20

Dear diary;
my life is far
from normal
but not so strange that I
should fear what
lies ahead.

Dear diary;
Today I came to
the realization that
I can probably count on one hand
the people who know anything
about me in real life.
If you are reading this,
I doubt you're
one of them.

Once this darkness is over,
we won’t remember how we survived.
We won’t even be sure
whether the darkness is really over.
But one thing is certain-
When we climb out of the darkness,
and into the light,
we won't be the same world
that once stood.

Sometimes stars explode
and leave behind the most
beautiful nebulae in the universe-
but that is one in a billion.
Somehow you create a nebula
with every touch,
and every word.
So what does that make you?

I wasn't the
name on her tongue
when she fell in love.
At least she fell
in love at all.

My favorite song
is the one you strum
upon my heartstrings-
the one that puts my
demons to sleep
and my heart
to nirvana.

Dear diary;
I moved house today
but I'm afraid my demons
followed me to the door.
Tonight,
the twilight seeps through the window,
the highway never sleeps and
the demons make their bed.
I am wide awake
again.

I am a single
soul yet I am split and my
heart has been splintered

11:02 PM
6/4/20