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32.2k · May 2014
Happy
lost girl May 2014
I should be happy.

I woke up alive and well,
I should be happy.

I have new books to read,
I should be happy.

I have 490 songs on my iPod,
I should be happy.

I have good grades in school,
I should be happy.

I have friends who I can talk to and fangirl with,
I should be happy.

I'm young, I have my whole life ahead of me,
I should be happy.

I should be happy,
I'm not happy.

(a.d)
19.8k · Jun 2014
Lost
lost girl Jun 2014
I've been having a hard time lately
I'm sorry about that baby.
I close my eyes
And thoughts of what would have been flows by.
I squeeze my eyes to keep from crying.
I've been doing that a lot lately.
I just haven't been the same since I lost the baby.


(a.d)
Not about me.
11.0k · Sep 2014
trapped
lost girl Sep 2014
I am trapped
in a pit full of
sad smiles and
broken promises.

(a.d)
8.2k · Jun 2014
Anxiety
lost girl Jun 2014
Anxiety
I can feel it coming
That shakiness in my hands that begins to spread throughout my body.
My heart beat begins to pick up speed. Getting louder & louder, until it's all I can hear.
Anxiety
Worry fills my every thought
And those thoughts consume me.

(a.d)
I suffer from anxiety
7.9k · Jul 2014
flies
lost girl Jul 2014
if time were flies
we wouldn't waste our time
on slapping them away
instead
we'd grasp them,
and try to
catch them.
If only time were flies.

(a.d)
4.2k · Jun 2014
Self Control
lost girl Jun 2014
It's coming again
I can barely hold this pen
My hands are shaking so hard
And I can barely think straight.
What's wrong with me?
I don't know anymore.
It could be my anxiety
Or just my lack of self control.
What's wrong with me?
I should be able to keep my thoughts in check.
Cause those worrisome thoughts
Are what has brought me here.

Blame it on my anxiety.
Blame it on my lack of self control.

(a.d)
Any thoughts?
3.9k · May 2014
Scared
lost girl May 2014
I was so scared
of someone getting too close.
I was so scared
of someone getting close enough to break me.

I was so scared
of being broken so badly that I could never be fixed.
I was so scared
that I closed myself off.

                                                                    And I ended up breaking myself.

(a.d)
3.7k · Jun 2014
lost girl.
lost girl Jun 2014
lost girl
It holds so much truth
But then it doesn't.
I mean
I know where I am.
But do I really know *who
I am?
I guess not.
lost girl
It holds so much truth
But all the same
That's not really my name.

(a.d)
3.4k · Sep 2014
Loving You From Afar
lost girl Sep 2014
I'm scarred to admit this but -
I think we made a mistake.
I know that something's are better left unsaid
and that this is a huge risk to take
But I don't think things are going so great.
I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this way -
or if you see it too.
Sometimes I think that we would be doing better
if we had never been together.

Just know that I will love you forever,
I just feel that loving you from afar would be better.

(a.d)
Written on the back of an envelope
2.4k · Oct 2014
Sorrowful Truths
lost girl Oct 2014
The most beautiful words
Come from the most ****** up minds
So tortured and sorrowful that you begin to wonder where the enemy lies
Is it inside
Or somewhere beyond?
Can it be stopped from causing so much harm?

(a.d)
2.3k · Jul 2014
Desperate
lost girl Jul 2014
I am desperate to find that sense of normality
I grasp for it
as if it is water
and I haven't had a drink for months.

I am desperate to find comfort in my life now
Rather than later
I am tired of waiting and feeling
as if I am an alien
in my own skin.

I am desperate to start living
I am stressed out
and tired of watching life
pass me by
as if I am invisible.

(a.d)
2.3k · Jun 2014
Hush Little Darling
lost girl Jun 2014
Hush little darling, don't you cry
The more you cry, the more the demons will come by.
Hush little darling, don't say a word
You wouldn't want to be heard.
Hush little darling, don't move an inch
The more you move, the more the demons will make you flinch.
Hush little darling, don't you dare sleep
For once you close your eyes, you're theirs to keep.

(a.d)
I wanted to do this for a while; I like how it came out.
2.2k · Oct 2014
sorry
lost girl Oct 2014
I'm sorry I can't be more metaphorical and compare you to a summers day. I just don't write that way.

( a.d)
2.1k · Aug 2014
plug me into a math equation
lost girl Aug 2014
I am not some math equation.
I am not something you can solve
for in a math equation
you need all the parts
and I am sorry but
I am made up of
broken
parts.

(a.d)
2.1k · Oct 2014
discussions- i'm tired
lost girl Oct 2014
My mother always tells me--
"Sweetie make sure you're not out too late, you wouldn't want to get *****.
You never know what will happen when you're walking the streets alone, always carry your phone.
Honey, never dress too provocatively you never know which eyes will see.
So please, cover up. Are you sure you don't want to wear the fleece?
There are sick people in this world
always be aware, you can't trust anyone anymore.
Never leave the house late and alone
You might not come home.
Always pick up the phone.
Honey, I want you to come home."

(a.d)
My mother is always telling me this and I am sure many other parents are having this talk with their daughters about this as well. It's sad that the world has come to this. That humans have resorted to taking away others rights. That they have made others live in fear. Little girls shouldn't have to hear this and grown women shouldn't have to constantly look over their shoulder when walking at night. Women shouldn't have to live in fear of other humans taking advantage of them. They shouldn't have to considered being ***** when walking out at night or when picking out what to wear.
It's sad that things are like this now.
1.8k · Oct 2014
Say A Word Enough
lost girl Oct 2014
Happy*
Happy
Happy
H a p p y*
Maybe if I say it enough times
Or if I crack enough smiles
I might start believing it
And stop spitting out so many lies.

(a.d)
1.6k · May 2014
Silence
lost girl May 2014
Silence
is
Bad

Because
then
I
have
time
to
think
about
how
I
am
not
good
enough

About
how
I
am
unwanted

In
the
silence
is
when
my
thoughts
are
loudest
when
my
monsters
decide
to
come
out

And
with
silence
comes
violence

(a.d)
lost girl Sep 2014
i want to be alone
so please don't pick up the phone.

i love you but i just need time to breathe
trust me please.

i ask that you put your love on hold, only for a second or two
i promise you, my heart will always be yours to keep.


(a.d)
lost girl Jun 2014
"This is our little secret my dear."
The little girl looks up at her mother and smiles adoringly
"I won't tell if you won't."*

(a.d)
lost girl Aug 2014
I can't see the stars anymore.
Not where I live anyway.
Back when I was a child,
my mother would always tell me to look at the stars
when I felt helpless or down
because if the littlest stars can shine in the darkness--
then I can too.
Well I'm feeling down now mother.
What do I do now?
How am I supposed to look at the stars when there aren't any to look at mother?
If these stars can't shine through these
city skies,
how
can
I?

(a.d)
I wrote a version of this before but deleted it and decided to write another poem that followed the same idea.
1.5k · Oct 2014
Living in a Glass Case
lost girl Oct 2014
I'm alive but I'm not living
I'm walking around as if I am in a trance
I think I even forgot how to dance.
I am going through the motions
But I can never catch a chance --
A chance
to slow down and pause for a second
or maybe two
maybe then I would be able to see
what is really true.

(a.d)
1.4k · May 2014
this is a story
lost girl May 2014
this is not a cry for a help

this is a story

the story of a girl who used to smile a lot and laugh at the right times. the story of a bright beautiful girl with pretty soft skin and freckles on her nose. this the story of a girl with vibrant black hair and sparkling blue eyes.

this is the story of a girl who worked hard in school because she wanted to go somewhere. this is the story of a girl who pushed herself to be the greatest she could possibly be. this is the story of a girl who cared and cared and worked and worked...

until one day she stopped.

this is the story of a girl who has had enough. the story of a girl who had been pushed too hard to keep on going. this is the story of a girl with no way out. this is the story of a girl who can't cope anymore.

this is the story of a girl who can no longer smile without crying, and whose laugh is cold and void of emotion. this is the story of a sad girl with bumpy red skin that is covered with scars and cuts. this is the story of a girl with dull black hair and empty eyes.

this is not a cry for help

this is a story

the story of a girl who no longer cared.

(a.d)
1.3k · Oct 2014
✖️
lost girl Oct 2014
Be grateful for the darkness
that conceals your tears,
breaks your heart,
and brings forth your fears.

(a.d)
1.3k · May 2014
Dear Mom
lost girl May 2014
I'm sorry for being a bad daughter
Especially since you were both my mother & my father.

I'm sorry for all the times I snuck out & came home late
Especially since I knew the sight of my empty bed would make you faint.

I'm sorry for all the times I made you cry
Especially since I knew how much you would try.

I'm sorry for saying all those words of hate
Especially since it is now far too late.

I'm sorry I realized late
That you were far too great.

(a.d)
I love you mom
1.3k · Sep 2014
darling you must be mistaken
lost girl Sep 2014
you asked me the other day
if i ever got afraid
"you are so fearless."
you said.
i let you believe it
while i laughed inside.

i am no where near fearless darling.
i'm sorry but it's true.
for one of my biggest fears is losing you.

(a.d)
1.2k · May 2014
What will it be darling?
lost girl May 2014
"It'll make you happy darling. Aren't you tired of being sad all the time? Just one whiff and you'll be on a roller coaster that only goes up."

"It'll make you feel alive darling. Don't you want that? All it takes is just one sip."

"You won't feel a thing darling. Aren't you tired of feeling? Just one slit on each ****** wrist and it'll all be over."

Which will you chose to destroy yourself, darling?

(a.d)
1.2k · Oct 2014
Untitled
lost girl Oct 2014
Do you think it's bad that i don't want my scars to heal?
that I want them to stay as a reminder of the years
that I tortuted myself with the blade of self harm
never forgiving myself and constantly doing harm

(a.d)
1.2k · May 2014
not alone.
lost girl May 2014
I quote people everyday.
I live by the words of a stranger.
I hold onto them like a lifeline.

Their words make me feel like I am not alone.
Like perhaps I can make it another day.

(a.d)
1.1k · Sep 2014
because of you
lost girl Sep 2014
i know the moment i fell for you.

it was when the skies were bright
and there was a twinkle in your eyes.
you were shaking your head
at something i said,
you were smiling widely
and your head was slightly bent.

i knew in that moment i was completely and utterly *******
and it was all because of you.
1.0k · Oct 2014
Tears For All of My Fears
lost girl Oct 2014
If you could read my mind, you'd be in tears
You'd see all my flaws and all my fears.
The deeper you go
The darker it gets
You'd see how twisted my mind really gets and all of the coffins
that I had once layed to rest
You'd know my suffering
and all of my regrets.
You would know the truth and how deep my mind gets.

(a.d)
1.0k · Jun 2014
A hug from my mother
lost girl Jun 2014
I just really need a hug
From my mother
A kiss on the head
And a "Everything will be all right."

I just really need a hug
From my mother
A pat on the back
And a hand to wipe my tears away.

I just really need a hug
From my mother
A story from way back when
And a good laugh to make me feel whole

I just really need a hug
from my mother.



(a.d)
I love you mom.
914 · Oct 2014
Explicit Wounds
lost girl Oct 2014
Nothing lasts forever
I shouldn't have been naive
I'll always remember the times we had together.

Sometimes I wonder if it was worth the fall
Cause I landed and I landed hard.
I doubt things will ever be the same
And I only have myself to blame.

Will time stitch things back together?
Or will we stay scarred
and broken forever?  

(a.d)
X
901 · Aug 2014
A Friend Once
lost girl Aug 2014
I had a friend once
who taught me
what it feels like to have someone to truly care for.

I had a friend once
who taught me
the importance of not saying
"I Love You Too."
Just because someone wants me too.

I had a friend once**
who I started to love
but now it's through
cause it was too much to lose.

(a.d)
887 · Jul 2014
Missing Person's Sign
lost girl Jul 2014
Have you seen the missing persons sign?
The one with the pretty girl with wide smile
and sparkling eyes.
The one with a girl who was a honors student
and wouldn't dare disobey her parents.

I think I've seen that girl before
Where?
I last saw her at the bottom of one of the many brandy bottles lined up near the door.
And in the mirror before she took her first fix
But, why?
Because, she couldn't handle the stress anymore, the thoughts of not being good enough and facing the never ending disappointment.

I used to be that girl in the missing persons sign.*
I'm not anymore.*

(a.d)
lost girl Aug 2014
I can't say that you broke my heart... exactly
'cause you were never really aware that you held my heart
in your hands
and I guess I wasn't really aware of it either.
Until it was too late.

(a.d)
791 · Jun 2014
Call Me Day
lost girl Jun 2014
Call me Day
            For with each day comes a new sunrise that chases away the darkness.
Call me Day
                  For with each day comes thousands of possibilities.
Call me Day
                     For each day brings new hope. Hope that life can be better.

(a.d)
768 · Oct 2014
Love Letters ➕
lost girl Oct 2014
If I could write a love letter to the dead
I would write a letter
to our star crossed love that came when we were young
and seemed as if it would last forever.
That made us feel as if we were infinite
As if we can live forever, together and alive in each others love.

That's not possible anymore.
Now all I have left are my love letters to the dead.
〰(a.d)
740 · Jun 2014
12:07
lost girl Jun 2014
I want someone to make me feel like I am
drunk when I am sober
alive when I am feeling down
And
free when I have restrictions.

(a.d)
I had this idea for a while and just didn't know how to put it together.
734 · Sep 2014
4 am - dried mascara
lost girl Sep 2014
stop crying
put on a smile
and keep trying.

(a.d)
693 · May 2014
Deal
lost girl May 2014
If I didn't write
I wouldn't be able to keep sane
'Cause, then there would be no way to deal with the pain.

(a.d)
lost girl Sep 2014
Dying flower
Broken heart

Crying eyes
Missing parts

Feeling lonely
Slit the wrists

Close your eyes
Plea the fifth

(a.d)
Doubt you'd understand but then again I don't think I fully understand either.
683 · Jul 2014
don't throw me away
lost girl Jul 2014
oh don't
throw me away
like a crumbled piece
of paper when you're
done with me.
when you have finished telling me
all your sorrows
and using me as a pillow.
don't discard me
and act like you don't care
'cause i do
and i don't think
i could bare.

(a.d)
lost girl May 2014
I hear the stories my books tell, all the different stories I hear.
Each one carries a new way of life.

Those of witchcraft and wizardry tells stories of magic, spells, and potions. Carrying the many whispers of witches and wizards, warlocks and giants.

Those of angels and demons tell of epic battles and fallen angels. The cries from the battlefield as heaven and hell clash call out to me.

Those of vampires tell of monsters that only come out at night, with cold touches and bloodlust. Of temptation and desolation.

Those of forbidden love tells stories of love lost and found again. Of happily never after's that carries broken promises. And soon the tears from the heart broken begin to match my own.

Those that tell of innocence lost, yearn to be consoled and heard. So that perhaps they're not alone and that their pain is shared. With the possibility of a silver lining.

I hear my books calling for me, I hear them loud and clear.

Each book yearning to unleash its story, welcoming me with into its world with open arms

(a.d)
Reading is a way of life for me.
648 · Sep 2014
I sign myself over
lost girl Sep 2014
I'm overwhelmed and it's all my fault.
I'm bleeding and I'm the one who pulled the blade.
I'm endlessly crying and I caused the tears.
I'm working hard and I'm the one holding myself back.
I'm having nightmares and I'm running from myself in those dreams.

(a.d)
I'm my own worse enemy.
627 · May 2014
✔️Seen
lost girl May 2014
We haven't spoken in a while.
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:30 am
I miss you.
What happened to us?
Do you ever think of me, the way I think of you?
                                                            ­                                     ✔️Seen 2:35 am
No you probably don't.
You moved on.
I should too...
                                                          ­                                       ✔️Seen 2:36 am
HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE ANYMORE? Especially after EVERYTHING we've been through.
You heartless *******.
Everything was a game to you, wasn't it?
                                                                ­                                 ✔️Seen 2:40 am
I'm done.
Have a nice life.
                                                                ­                               ✔️Seen 11:30 am
                                                             ­                                                    Wait.
                                                                ­                                         I'm Sorry.
✔️Seen 12:00 pm


(a.d)
575 · Jun 2014
Refuse
lost girl Jun 2014
Refuse to fall
Refuse to miss
Refuse to love
Refuse to kiss

Never been cheated
'Cause I never really cared
I refuse to be apart
of your sick, sick love affair

(a.d)
561 · Jun 2014
Voluntary
lost girl Jun 2014
Your presence here is voluntary
But is it really?
You aren't forced to be here
But leaving is a sign of giving up isn't it?
Leaving is a sign of cowardice
                               of weakness
I don't think I can take it
You wouldn't want to disappoint.
You have to make it.
You've made it to this point.
This is what you wanted
What if it isn't?
I don't even know what I want for lunch
It's an opportunity of a lifetime
Yeah, an opportunity to feel stressed out and overwhelmed.
You should be grateful.*
I am grateful, really.
But I just really want to go home.*


(a.d)
559 · Aug 2014
?
lost girl Aug 2014
?
I'm scared to admit this
but, I miss you.
Is it bad that I wonder
if you think of me too?

(a.d)
553 · Jun 2014
Scared
lost girl Jun 2014
I'm scared to death
Don't you see?
I'm scared to death
That you might leave me.

(a.d)
545 · Jun 2014
Tired
lost girl Jun 2014
I'm tired of pretending to be okay
when I am not.
I'm tired of hiding how broken and scared
I feel.
I'm tired of the shakiness
in my hands.
I'm tired of feeling like I am
drowning.
I'm tired of keeping it all
in.

(a.d)
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