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Nomkhumbulwa Feb 13
One minute fine,
The next minute not,
It may be freezing cold,
But my brain is boiling hot.

The tingling sensation,
And then the trembling starts,
I cannot feel my legs,
Yet how I feel my heart!

The environment is spinning,
The air is getting thin,
No matter how fast I breathe,
I cant get enough oxygen in.

Things enter my mind,
I try to force them out,
But the harder I try,
The more they come back and shout.

I feel im going to faint,
Im feeling so sick,
I cannot run away,
All my legs let me do is sit.

My legs get weak and heavy,
My brain doesnt know whats going on,
Everything becomes something to fear,
The floor, my clothes, hair... and so on.

My mouth is dry like paper,
My body is sweating yet cold,
Where did all of this come from?
Is this what its like to get old?

My body feels frozen,
But my brain is running around,
Playing tricks on me,
Where there is no danger to be found.

Breathing exercises dont work
Though they make sense normally,
In the moment of panic -
You lose all sense of reality.

The images enter your mind,
You try to force them out,
But the harder you try,
The more they refuse to get out.

Everything becomes a danger,
I will say one more time,
Every object becomes a weapon,
And slices through your mind.

The nausea causes more panic,
The panic responds with more nausea,
What a horrific cycle,
How to stop it I have no idea.

****** functions fail,
The digestive system especially,
But now your afraid of the toilet (!)
Though you need it in a hurry.

The trembling is so intense,
The fear so intense,
You struggle to make a call,
Your mind and body losing control.

Diazepam becomes your best friend,
You'd worship it if you could,
Its often there to save the day,
..Although at other times you just wish it would...

The adrenal glands are to blame,
Im not the Adrenalin rush kind,
My adrenal glands are evil,
How can they be so cruel and unkind?!

I dont like my adrenal glands,
Im an ***** donar - but if I die please be warned,
...then again, with the right brain, they could be your friends?

Its the "brain- adrenal gland" combination,
Which is of the ******* kind,
Perhaps if brain sent out the right signals,
My adrenal glands might understand.

There is a time and place for adrenalin,
I have sampled many myself,
But this is just not one of them...
Yet - subconcious brain fears itself...

That is it.....the brain "fears itself"...
Well, I tried to put words to the panic...
Not sure if i did it justice.  I could have written more.  So much more.  Anyway...didnt really know / plan on writing it at all! :/
when we first met
I did not know this
could never image it
that you'd be here with,
here with me
that you lived here,
lived with me
yeah you stayed,
stayed with me
and you cared,
cared about me
you braced,
what's in me
you listened
the screams in deep
but now you..u're
you're about to faint
just like others
I'll be here in this paint
till I faint too
but till then
I'll be missing you..
Hey guys.. Thank you for reading.

To see "faint out the paint" and also my other poetries you can check this link.

My instagram: @eminkusaslan

Take care **  -E
Tonight, a memory came
I tried to recall
But, suddenly, you start to fade
Has it really been that long?
Your laugh is distant
If I could, would I try to remember in an instant?
The answer is unclear
Where have you gone in my head,
my dear?
Is this what letting go feels like?
I still remember my feelings,
but they're faint
akin to old paint peeling
in the attic of my body
forgotten, rusted and creating a new setting
Taking down the pictures,
setting up new fixtures for someone new to visit
I don't know how to say this
But, tonight, a memory came
I tried to recall
but came only a blurry face
and no will to remember at all.
Reposting this with a few edits, because the words ring truer to how I feel now :)
Brandon Conway Oct 2018
My countenance
made love with the harsh earth
she left me
and bloodied
with a couple days
plucked out of my memory
thank whoever is above
for the few buddies
that pulled me to the
corner with a flashlight
bag of cold ice
shoulder rubs
and words of advice
I got back in the ring
ready for to resume the fight
I learned that night that
you can't beat Gaia
but that you could endure
a few rounds.

Just kidding,
I was knocked out
during the first round.
A Sad Alex Oct 2018
I made a mistake,
Whoops thats on me
I made a mistake
Sorry, I didn´t see
I made a mistake
It won´t happen again
I made a mistake
It´s my fault, I confess
I made a mistake
I know I messed up
I made a mistake
I´m trying my best
I made a mistake
You make them too
I made a mistake
There is no excuse
I made a mistake
You should know better
I made a mistake
What? Can´t handle the pressure?
I made a mistake
You still do?
I made a mistake
Jesus, go get a clue...
I made a mistake
I just can´t help it
I made a mistake
Either fix it, or quit
I made a mistake
My patience is running thin
I made a mistake
Yes, yes you did...

You made a mistake
When you rose from your bed

You made a mistake
Thinking you can have faith

You made a mistake
Thinking you can change

You made a mistake
Thinking you can mend your ways

You made a mistake
Thinking you can escape

You made a mistake
Not wanting to die before

But you sure did good

When you hung from your noose...
Reader discretion is adviced, if you suffer from depression, anxiety or are just easy unnerved then you might want to skip this one.

No I´m not suicidal, I just wanted to write something with a little more bite and edge to it
yellow soul Jul 2018
I cut myself with a sharp knife
It wasn’t on purpose I swear
I feel the pain  
I Think I fainted
Never have I ever seen this much blood before
It was all over the bathroom floor
One sick thought I got
“collect my blood In a little jar”
And that I did
But then I got to think
I realized It was sick
I washed the blood of the jar
And called my mom saying
That I dropped the knife on my foot
Wasn’t on purpose nur so good
I waited for her to come home

my blood on our bathroom floor
Lyn-Purcell Jul 2018
Faintest summer night
Death will come and take the light
I fear for yonder headache is back with a vengeance!
I'm gonna have to see the doctor's cuz there is no way having headaches, pulsing headaches, on a daily basis is normal.
111 followers.... AHHHHHHH!
T-T I'm so happy I could cry!
Thank y'all so much!
Love you!
Lyn ***
Pagan Paul May 2018
What is a poet to do
when his favourite muse
faints whilst making love,
a victim of passions fuse.

To carry on regardless?
Perhaps slap her lovely cheek?
Mouth 2 mouth no tongue?
Or maybe implore her to speak?

A lesser poet
shakes her anxiously
and writes a verse about prowess and spooning.

A True poet
carries on regardless
and writes a sonnet about his muse and swooning.

© Pagan Paul (23/05/18)
5th poem in my series Even Poets ***** Up ...
I only write these when in the silliest of moods!
Raph Oct 2017
Sunlit tree branches,
Ice cold blank stares,
Faint sight of what's to come,
Ashes and what none
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