I like how I am slowly
                                          fading away
                                                           ­       and you don't even notice.

I like how I desperately
                                             need you
                                                  and you don't even give me a hand.
I like how I need you to
                                           notice me
                                                      and you don't even look my way.
I like how I am
                                          dying inside
                                                         ­             and you don't even care.

(a.d)

"You have such a bright future ahead of you young lady."
Yeah, college then working until you die is just great!

"A young girl like you has nothing to be sad about."
Am I not supposed to feel?

"You're such a beautiful young lady."
Yeah, but the scars on my wrists aren't.

(a.d)

Boys don't like sad girls
Boys don't like girls with cuts on their arms
Boys don't like girls who scream at night
Boys don't like girls with monsters in their head

Boys don't like girls like me.

(a.d)

everything that falls must be broken
for i fell for you and now i am made of broken parts.
for i cannot fly
and our love had no wings.
so when i fell
i had nothing to hold on to
and i became
only a shadow
of the girl
you once knew.

(a.d)

I am not entirely happy
I am not entirely sad

                                                            ­                             I smile sometimes and
                                                             ­                            I laugh at funny things
                                                          ­                               I can crack a joke and
                                                                ­                         Be around people.

But at night when I am alone
Is when the thoughts start coming
When the tears escape my eyes
And when I start to feel the worse about myself.
This is the time when I just want to disappear.



(a.d)

The world is just a book
And each page is a new day
And each chapter is a new year
And I am just a measley character out of billions of others

I have a life that I am not fully living
And I'm supposed to be happy and I'm not
I play a small, unimportant part in a huge book
And when I get to my last chapter the book will continue on without faltering.

This world is just a book
And with each page comes a new day
And with each chapter comes a new year.
And I am just a character out of billions of others.

(a.d)

Make way for the depressed teen
they're all like that nowadays
someone probably just broke her heart
she'll learn to deal.
No big deal.
I mean as long as she doesn't steal

She's just a teen
she'll get over it real quick
Probably come home late
trying to take a break

she's not trying.

Did you see the cuts on her arms?
It's probably a new thing now
it shouldn't cause no harm.
It's just an arm.  

Oh she's just depressed
Like the walking dead, but just better dressed.
She'll get over it real quick,
I mean it's not serious or anything.  She's just depressed.

(a.d)

I deleted the old messages.
I kept on rereading them
And I couldn't stop thinking about you.
You moved on,
I need to move on too.
It ***** 'cause I would've loved to see it through.

(a.d)

i.
I care about you.
I honestly do.

ii.
I didn't plan for it to happen.

iii.
I swear I didn't.

iv.
I had no intention of falling for you.

v.
I didn't even want to.

vi.
But then something changed in the way I saw you.

vii.
Your smile became the only thing I could see and I began picking out your voice in a crowd.

viii.
I didn't even notice until it was too late.

ix.**
And now I'm ******* and it's all because of you.

(a.d)

if I could look back and see
the first moment my life
began to fall to pieces,
it would be to the moment
when
you
first
said
hi

(a.d)

Oh honey, you can't break a broken heart
                 you can't wipe the eyes that won't cry
                 you can't stop the memories that pass you by
              
(a.d)

i have never been in love
and i don't want to be either
why would i want to be constantly confused and love sick all the time?
why would i, give up my heart to be played with when i could keep it safe and guarded?
i have never been in love
and i don't plan to be either.

(a.d)

I wish I could fly
Because then I could say bye
To all the things that made me cry

(a.d)

i don't want to, but i do.
i promised myself i wouldn't, but i did.
i wanted to protect the heart
and feelings
that i hide so deep inside.
but then you smiled
and now whenever
i close my eyes
that's all i see.

(a.d)

don't call me
when you're high
or drunk
don't call me
just because
you're sad and alone
and you just want to have some fun

(a.d)

will you still love me when I am old and gray?
stay by my side 'til the end of my days?
will you still care?
look at me with adoring eyes?
will you laugh with me?
and tell me not to cry?
will you still sing with me the lyrics to our song?

or will you say bye as time continues to fly?

(a.d)

I'm sorry
that I was too
"metaphorical"
for you
and
that
instead of showing
you
how I felt
I wrote about
you
instead.

(a.d)

i want to be part of a world
that feels alive every once in a while.
not like the city that never sleeps.
that's half dead most of the time.
i want to be part of a world
that recognizes life
that breathes
and
comes alive.

(a.d)

Your words hit me more than I'll ever admit.
Each word pushes me closer to the edge of this pit.
Your words of hate will soon seal my fate.

(a.d)

Just thinking about what lies ahead is getting me stressed.
I am being put to the test
and all those requirements and deadlines
are seriously getting to my head
I think about all those times when
I could've fled
and now only one thing can be said --
I made this decision and now I have to stick it out
and hope for the best

(a.d)

You can run but you can't hide
from the monsters that hide inside
ready for you once you close your eyes.

You can sleep
but you won't be able to keep
what you so desperately want to hide.

You can cry
but that won't stop the monsters
from attacking you from the inside.

(a.d)

I don't know
how i feel about
anyone
myself
you
I don't know
if i want to
cry
fly
or sit and watch as time passes me by

(a.d)

I tried to fix you
I swear I did
there was just too many
broken pieces
and I couldn't grab
them all
before I began to get cut
and pieces of myself
soon joined yours
on the floor.

(a.d)

i write more than i should
maybe i should talk more
so that i am not as misunderstood.

(a.d)

I can't stop crying
but then again, I haven't really been trying.
I don't even bother to wonder why
I know it's you who makes me cry.
I just can't stop thinking about the time you said bye.


(a.d)

Sometimes I feel like
         I am not good enough
         that I am not worth all the trouble
         or the promises.
Sometimes I feel like
         I am too far gone to be
         saved.


(a.d)

I used to love
but now
i don't.
too many
broken records
and too many
missing pieces
of my heart
are gone
and charred,
wasting away
'cause everything
just got too hard.

(a.d)

You say you love the rain
Yet you shield yourself from getting wet.
You say you love the sun
Yet you cover your eyes when it gets too bright.
You say you love the wind
Yet you turn away when it becomes too much.
You say you love the snow
Yet you stay inside when it gets too cold.

You say you love me
Yet I don't think so.

(a.d)

It's all coming to an end, I'll miss you my friend.
I close my eyes and count to ten.
I start thinking of that time way back when.
And I begin to cry
Again.

(a.d)

I hate when
the silence becomes
too much.
When I get thoughts
of what used to be us.
And
When it all becomes too much
and I start to cut myself.


(a.d)

Can I make it?
Am I strong enough to take it?
Can I face it?
          It's coming.
          It's coming.
                              I'm shaking.
But let's face it.
I can't take it.
                              I was never that strong to begin with

(a.d)

R.I.P
        to those times when I cared
        to those times when I used to love
        to run my fingers through your hair.

R.I.P
        'cause I can no longer bare
         to continue to care.

(a.d)

They don't know
That I cry myself to sleep
That I am constantly sad
That I feel like I am drowning
That I cut myself
That my smiles are fake
That my laughs are forced  
They don't know.

They don't know anything at all.


(a.d)

I dreamed that you didn't remember me
And it hurt me to see how easily you could live without me.

(a.d)