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1.6k · Oct 2018
therapy #1
Elioinai Oct 2018
Pulling barbs from deep within your heart
Feel your soul be ripped apart
And all the miles of chain you swallowed
Must be thrown out
Screaming as they entered in
Your ears, your eyes, your mouth, your nose
burning down your skin
And the pain thickens in your head
Like blood pooling on the ground beneath the dead
Dripping down into your sight
Inkiness  
as all the grime from past clouds of smoke are washed away
In a Tidal wave of grace
your ribs are bruised and crushed
In the Violence of Love
Ready to take the poison hidden in your bones
Dig Deep!
Let your old, iron stomach throw up
all the nails
whose place is in the wounds of Christ
Dedicated to Jamie
1.5k · Mar 2016
Persephone's first gift
Elioinai Mar 2016
With Autumn comes an animal excitement
But Spring does bring me deep relief
My heart does open as each flower
And colors promise me to mend
the rend of barren bruising Winter
I cry as petals let go and fall
sure that Spring will fly before
I've had the time to rest within her
and sing her softness before Summer
I really do feel renewed at Spring
1.5k · Sep 2018
My Instagram Me
Elioinai Sep 2018
I take my pictures from an angle
to hide my crooked teeth
to make my face seem more symmetrical  
I never take a picture of my head’s profile
My chin disappears when viewed from left or right
And so the mole near my right ear is never visible
1.4k · Mar 2015
waning strength
Elioinai Mar 2015
I sit straightly for a moment,
slouch back in my seat
As the dripping of my energy
reaches midday portions

the dragging of my feet
becomes the least of my worries
its not the pain that’s unbearable
but the many useless potions
the slowly ripping poisons
my mouth must keep desiring

I sigh
trying to remember
the truths I chose so randomly
to write off as tacit lies
in my moneyless estate
it was easier
to think I could live without them
but now I see I’ve only died
The body contains numerous systems, which can all break down and cause illness, but Western Medicine ignores most of them
1.4k · Dec 2014
Frozen fantasies
Elioinai Dec 2014
Loving you is like lifting a spoon to my lips
it's bowl full of ice cream
sugar and milk sweetly, softly melt upon my tongue
each mouthful reducing in wonder
the taste eventually forgotten until my porcelain vessel lays empty
in my hands
and I ache for more
but my imagined aches harden into reality
as my body reacts in horror at the offering I have brought its enemies
Just as when your face is no longer present to grace my vision
I long for your return,
yet realize how utterly vain is my infatuation for you
Let it go . . .
I wonder if it would be stupid to anonymously send this dude a poem about him.
Elioinai Sep 2018
Maybe I feel connected with you because you ache in the ways that I do
We both suffer alone
We both quietly long for recognition
We both see our own potential but self sabotage out of fear and laziness
We work when we work hard
But if nothing is pressing us we get nothing done
We both long for affection but somehow you’re more open about your need
While I more openly show affection
We both somehow feel awkward together
Like we can’t figure out which roles to play in each other’s lives
We both feel like big fish in small ponds but then feel ashamed of our pride
I think we both feel like we don’t have a lot to show for all the talent we’ve been given
But really we’re both doing well for ourselves
1.4k · Oct 2014
Spring Joy
Elioinai Oct 2014
Pink petals float on water
Bubbles dance down on the rocks

Flowers fall like snow
As lace upon the grass

Beams of gold spread on the ground
And leaves reflect the sun
April 3, 2012
1.4k · Oct 2017
Beauty, for ashes
Elioinai Oct 2017
every word
is bitter now
each slowly
turns to smoke
some fires take
too long to die
these ashes choke my throat

But bright hope begins to clear the flu
as brooms do sweep the hearth
stronger flames burst bright anew
And joy dances!
Sing my heart!
1.4k · Oct 2014
Paint me Happy
Elioinai Oct 2014
Laugh and slide your finger through the lavender,
Swirl it upon the wall and draw on all your love,
Make stars from liquid gold in silver jars,
Crimson lips in frowns no more,
Sparkles on my cheeks from glitter not our tears,
Make a house of evergreen, for it will hold for many years.
Laugh as you stretch out the beams of sun,
Across my beaming face,
Paint me happy in your arms with colors all about.
October 19, 2012
1.4k · Dec 2014
perspective
Elioinai Dec 2014
do not waste time
wishing someone
noticed you
liked you
loved you
sacrificed for you

spend time
noticing someone
liking someone
loving someone
sacrificing for someone

and suddenly your perspective will change
to give is better than to receive-Jesus
1.4k · Sep 2016
constructs versus
Elioinai Sep 2016
our minds spin off on their own little threads
run away to make their own sense
since I took this blue
I think my picture must be true
but I'll wait to see if it comes
cause the fake gold is my own and it usually knots
About which we love to dream
constructing our own little covers
Turn laughing to see what the Real has brought us
So different
So similar
So perfect and fine in the loveliest ways
what I wove would never have fit me
But You do
You are a surprise to me, what I pictured but what never imagined as well. You are more than I thought possible, your heart and mind are so much larger. It never entered my mind someone as amazing as you would love me.
1.3k · Oct 2014
Music
Elioinai Oct 2014
Glass falls from the leaves,
Of a tree so green,
Sun shines in my eyes,
Splitting for me,

Rainbows full of living color,
Flashes for my sighs,
So beautiful  I cannot grasp it,
It lies on my tongue but for a moment,
And the wind whips it away,
Evanescently singing, it cannot stay
June 6, 2012
1.3k · Dec 2014
balled-up pilot
Elioinai Dec 2014
My compass pointing towards my dreams
is broken
my polished brass imaginator
is lost
My gyroscopes spin lazily
now useless
My log contains but disconnected letters
the few remaining sentences
contradict
its stacked and leatherbound brothers
I chained my silver dream kaleidoscope
away
above my head
it's diamond sapphires and amethyst pearls
are out of reach
I said I would sail this way
and I have
forgotten
how to turn this dirigible
*around
How can I dream if surviving is a daily struggle?
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge. I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73
Elioinai Dec 2014
Harder and faster,
my heart pulls two ways,
harder and faster,
as nights turn to days,
shorter and steeper,
the dragons I've slayed,
rear their heads back to taunt me,
their sisters do haunt me,
as I stand in this mess I have made
I feel so shallow.
1.3k · Oct 2014
Dragon of Love and Jealousy
Elioinai Oct 2014
Slithering around my organs, twisting in my chest,
Fire-breathing on my soul, in my mind it makes a nest,
Roses of faceted scales, glitter on its spine,
Intoxication like red wine, I can’t resist their shine,
I bite my tongue, hold back the words,
In dreams I might speak out, but smoke and steam have filled my throat,
I can’t hold back a shout.
Feb 4, 2012
Elioinai Sep 2018
Love is a living organism
for when it is healthy it grows
It slips it’s tendrils into the cracks and spaces of everything around it
It leaves no weakness unchanged
nothing touched by love remains the same



Love produces love
In all who accept the scent of it’s rosy flowers
Buds begin to form and open
A reliable test for love is this:
You are more and you know it
You are fuller and you feel it
You are beautiful and you sing it
If you become less
then what you have is not Love
1.2k · Jul 2015
Diva
Elioinai Jul 2015
I'm happy
I'm strong
I'm not faithless
I often believe I am weightless
But today I have seen
Some cracks in between
the boards of the box where my name is

I confess it wouldn't surprise me
that you think it's highly unlikely
that a girl of my sage
should be in a cage
of faulty romantics unsightly

Not sure how I got in this mess
If you're the one, even less
Unstriking hight
Handsome and light
In the air are my hopes like a kite

This isn't the worst I have been
Wes was a fire times ten
I do think you're cute
With weirdness to boot
Do I have to endure this again?
Guys . . . I'm like, a Taylor Swift but without the bitterness. Not proud
1.2k · Jan 2015
peri (on novel writing)
Elioinai Jan 2015
Great dreams
Crystal whispers
I never believed in
I played a thousand fantasies
my pet dragons' names weren't
original
neither were my aliases
Coriander
Evelyn
Beauty
Rose
but Peridot
came the closest to breathing
her and brother wizard
Jasper
died from an inability to care
I couldn't write emotion
yet
still the art eludes me
and I struggle creating the minds of
characters
so boring to interact with my own fabricated
males and females
maybe horses would be easier
to create
anthropomorphic equestrian creatures
proper ****** distortions
and voice affectations
unneeded
I could never write a full novel. Maybe I should try writing about talking animals
Elioinai Oct 2014
WHILST I beheld the neck o’ th’ dove,
I spied and read these words.
‘This pretty dye
Which takes your eye,
Is not at all the bird’s.         5
The dusky raven might
Have with these colours pleased your sight,
Had God but chose so to ordain above;’
This label wore the dove.

Whilst I admired the nightingale,         10
These notes she warbled o’er.
‘No melody
Indeed have I,
Admire me then no more:
God has it in His choice         15
To give the owl, or me, this voice;
’Tis He, ’tis He that makes me tell my tale;’
This sang the nightingale.

I smelt and praised the fragrant rose,
Blushing, thus answer’d she.         20
‘The praise you gave,
The scent I have,
Do not belong to me;
This harmless odour, none
But only God indeed does own;         25
To be His keepers, my poor leaves He chose;’
And thus replied the rose.

I took the honey from the bee,
On th’ bag these words were seen.
‘More sweet than this         30
Perchance nought is,
Yet gall it might have been:
If God it should so please,
He could still make it such with ease;
And as well gall to honey change can He;’         35
This learnt I of the bee.

I touch’d and liked the down o’ th’ swan;
But felt these words there writ.
‘Bristles, thorns, here
I soon should bear,         40
Did God ordain but it;
If my down to thy touch
Seem soft and smooth, God made it such;
Give more, or take all this away, He can;’
This was I taught by th’ swan.         45

All creatures, then, confess to God
That th’ owe Him all, but I.
My senses find
True, that my mind
Would still, oft does, deny.         50
Hence, Pride! out of my soul!
O’er it thou shalt no more control;
I’ll learn this lesson, and escape the rod:
I, too, have all from God.
By Patrick Cary (fl. 1651)
1.2k · Aug 2016
an abstract passion
Elioinai Aug 2016
Love explodes like little paint tubes
pressurized inside my heart
color shoots
and streaks
across all these walls and chambers
dripping down through all my veins
a rainbow stretched from chest to feet
1.2k · Oct 2014
Monsanto
Elioinai Oct 2014
They talk and bend,
They draw and write,
Harder and faster,
With ever clean hands,
Which might sometimes stoop to dirt,
Only to be disinfected after,
They peer down the microscope,
And examine the cells,
Each year the pictures are better,
But their eyes are darker,
They work,
To add that extra diamond,
And slave,
To remove that spot of rust,
But all their work,
Is like adding more water,
To a swimming pool of iron,
And their houses increase in space,
And their wives are wrapped in lace,
And their lives go to waste,
As they increase the yield,
They decrease the life,
And all that grow are empty supermodels,
Row by row,
Strong back, strong head,
Sword against the bugs,
And man falls with them,
Forgetting he is made,
Like the bugs himself,
Work,
Not to make the fields full,
But the heart,
Then the rust won’t matter,
And if pictures of cells are hazy,
Your eyes will be clear to understand
17 Feb, 2014
Inspired by The Omnivore’s Dilemma
1.2k · Oct 2014
Water weary
Elioinai Oct 2014
The horror,
of a tired mind,
When walls,
Once adequate in strength,
Become like paper dams,
and the dark waters,
Of my weakest moments,
come seeping through,
Poison the innocent
descents of a rainy day,
Perhaps Hezekiah,
had a mind much more tired than I.
July 12, 2014
Elioinai Oct 2014
It seems that once again,
Someone took my place,
               Got there first, worked the worst,
               And stole what I had in mind,
               My heart hurts, but was I willing to pay the cost?
               It could have been a curse.
               She might not stay forever,
               I don’t know the cards they hold,
               or if their even bold enough to play the ones their given.
August 28, 2013
1.2k · Sep 2015
pia sorori aut amator
Elioinai Sep 2015
Shall I bind you with cords of kinship,
Instead of ties of flagrant love?
Shall I catch you with family kindness,
Instead of arrows from above?
Am I a coward,
or a faithful friend,
who longs to keep you to the end,
A fool
a liar
a lover unrequite
dangerously chaining you
to a rose I claim is white?
There is someone who I love very much,  but I can't figure out if I'm falling in love with him romantically or in a sisterly way. I want my family to adopt him, but I don't want to do anything rash or stupid, like prematurely permanently put him in the bro-zone.
1.2k · Apr 2016
Silver gazing
Elioinai Apr 2016
No mirror
shall convince you
of your beauty
Only the ones who consistently and honestly affirm and praise your worth and beauty can convince you
1.2k · Sep 2016
mother cut
Elioinai Sep 2016
You had never seen a babe more beautiful than I
Your first
the little round head covered in curls
blessed your eyes with wonder
But your loving heart was weak
and cracked
As a mother's roses bloomed
Your demons picked up prunes
to cut them back
for love was a currency you lacked
First child
First daughter
An experiment in parenting
It's always hard to be the First
but I never doubted Papa's love
His heart was always strong enough
and helped build up the walls that you destroyed
I hate thinking negatively about my mom, but my struggle to be free in all areas of my life must necessarily include a long, hard battle to reverse every way my Mom tried through all the years to mold me into something that is not me. I want to be free. I will be free. She really is a wonderful woman, and she brought me up very well, but I can't settle for less than everything God made me to be, so here's to a series of poems on my mommy issues
1.2k · Apr 2015
The Voiceless
Elioinai Apr 2015
WE count the broken lyres that rest
Where the sweet wailing singers slumber,
But o'er their silent sister's breast
The wild-flowers who will stoop to number?
A few can touch the magic string,
And noisy Fame is proud to win them:--
Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!

Nay, grieve not for the dead alone
Whose song has told their hearts' sad story,--
Weep for the voiceless, who have known
The cross without the crown of glory!
Not where Leucadian breezes sweep
O'er Sappho's memory-haunted billow,
But where the glistening night-dews weep
On nameless sorrow's churchyard pillow.

O hearts that break and give no sign
Save whitening lip and fading tresses,
Till Death pours out his longed-for wine
Slow-dropped from Misery's crushing presses,--
If singing breath or echoing chord
To every hidden pang were given,
What endless melodies were poured,
As sad as earth, as sweet as heaven!
By Oliver Wendell Holmes
1858
1.2k · Oct 2015
walks in space 1
Elioinai Oct 2015
I dusted off some dreams
and shot them in the sky
I was short on shooting stars
and starved for higher light
My box of fire seems empty now
my ride is low on fuel
But I will tread on comet trails
and drink the milk of moons
1.1k · Oct 2014
the smell of rain
Elioinai Oct 2014
I breath in ecstasy
As mist forms in the air,
My steps quicken as my head begins to real,
From the strength of the scent,
And I remember,
How light, water, air all mix,
To form my joy,
And rare delight,
This time it isn’t heavy enough,
To spin me around,
Just a taste,
Like the memory of a dream,
Come evanescently,
To add color to my day.
January 29, 2013
1.1k · Oct 2014
Tales of Adventure
Elioinai Oct 2014
Go on your way adventure tales,
Until we meet again,
I'd say wish me luck,
But I have my own,
Way of meeting whales,
No longer will I longing read,
Of bands, and knights, and fellowships,
Who fought the pains of hunger,
While staving off the wrecks,
Comparing life with fantasy,
Eating it up with bated breath.
Ha ha! I say, Ha ha again,
Life is adventure mine!
And I'll regal YOU adventure tales,
When we meet again
©  Eva Schoolcraft 2014
May 31, 2014
1.1k · Oct 2015
advice is cheap
Elioinai Oct 2015
Advice is cheap
It comes out so smoothly
easier than compliments
which I could give more freely
Honestly I'd rather listen
and watch our faces tumble down together
as you speak of all the tender places
Life has found to pinch you
But there are no eyes to see upon this black and white screen
and supporting arms must be constructed
out of paper thin words
so flighty in their meaning
which fall apart like card pyramids
at one breath of misunderstanding
My profile is no weighty substitute for
the eternalness of audible sighs of a friend
But I want you to know that I heard you
For Wesley McMillan and Gavin especially, and everyone else who's painful lyrics I have given a ♡ but been unable to comment on
1.1k · Sep 2015
strong, dependant
Elioinai Sep 2015
So
I'm not
That independent woman
who doesn't need no man
In fact I'm feeling lost
though you my friend most boldly state
the truth that God completes
Something competes
it reaches first
and informs my heart of missing parts
Despite my fear in this debate,
it may soon be too late
as all contracts heap amidst the pyre
where Time burns
upon the Earth's last fire
mock marriage ends in conflagration
to be replaced by Consumation
I'm never going to be satisfied until the last Marriage supper, but I do want to be married on earth
1.1k · Oct 2014
Keeper of my heart
Elioinai Oct 2014
Oh Keeper of my heart,
Massage to soul I bruised,
Stay my masochistic hand,
Stop me from throwing rocks,
At my own glass chest.
Help me to see the unfading beauty,
You made me to be.
You commanded me to do away with fear,
And yet here he is at my table.
Peace is by a far a sweeter dish,
And my tongue longs to hold it forever.

Oh Keeper of my heart,
You won’t let it fall,
Or let it be broken beyond repair.
So I may love recklessly,
If I love you the most.

Your peace is like a gentle rain,
Falling on a troubled head,
I must release myself to play in the shower,
And get happily soaked.
May 8, 2012
I used to frequently mentally beat myself up
1.1k · Apr 2016
Trust and Obey
Elioinai Apr 2016
Obeying
isn't
Understanding

Don't wait

Until you know

for to know

Is to have let the moment pass
Obedience is most gracious and most difficult- current struggle. I feel asked to speak of something not worse than what I've uttered before, but to someone sure to hurt me with their reaction. If I had spoken years before this could perhaps have been completely avoided.
1.1k · Jul 2016
burning once again
Elioinai Jul 2016
The mist is lifting
making way for the sun's return
little beams break through
to laugh and play upon the ground
I've worked here in the dark
So long
visiting each day
That the brightness hurts my eyes
I squint to surround myself with darkness once more
pull myself back into shadow
The Shadow I abhor
but it's been my home for months
so now the light confuses
Me
Is it gone
No, the mist remains as yet
though filled with holes
Sun begins to
Set
Afire
The mist
is lifting
making way for the sun's return
little beams break through
to laugh and play upon the ground
After many many months I'm finally beginning to feel like myself again. I don't stuggle with anxiety much anymore. I'm calm and can talk to strangers again. I'm still in an Ulcerative Colitis flare (6 months, longest ever), I still am exhausted and can't exercise, and I still get depressed by those two facts, but it happens less. I feel like crying a lot, and my inner monolog is pretty sad when focused on self, but I think that it is mainly a bad habit for me. I'm thinking sad thoughts because I've become so used to it. I think I have a right to be sad. But I don't have a right to be sad. I try to focus on my sadness and depression, in order to resolve it, but that never helps
1.0k · Oct 2014
the anger stage
Elioinai Oct 2014
I like myself, I hate myself,
Push, pull, crack
His steps dance around the edges of my mind,
One step in, I shove him back,
The ferocity and causal pain,
Now I seek to bury him,
And not look at where he’s lain,
I bite my tongue, I whack my head,
I think that I am dead,
I don’t know what to do, as all memories turn to shame,
My mouth can’t speak the name,
Which I so glibly said so much,
May 28, 2012
Another poem about my first love/heartbreak that can hardly be legitimate as it was completely one sided
1.0k · Sep 2018
Beautiful leader
Elioinai Sep 2018
Your face staring into mine
and I feel
what
afraid
is the only thing it feels like
but it’s a gentle fear
And suddenly I realized
that power is what draws me most
to you
1.0k · Apr 2019
The taste of Wildflower
Elioinai Apr 2019
It’s probably not that you were awesome
(but you were)
It’s probably not that it was worth it
(but it was)
It’s not even that you deserved it
(but you did)
It’s that your words became an apiary
And all my bees built honeycombs with the curves of your face
Now your words no longer come
nor does your smile grace me
The sweet honey has drained into the jars of my heart
And I’ve tried to forget you
but the syrup on my tongue remembers you
it puddles into the hexagons of your name
whispering like bees wings





I strengthen myself with sugar
and beeswax feeds my flame
that I harvested on a day my feelings decided to dance around you
like bees they nestled in your flowers
How long will I eat of your honey?
How long will your sweetness remain in my memory?
Honey remembers the shape of the comb
they say
Just like my feelings remember the shape of their home
Away
Far away
1.0k · Feb 2016
Sandcastles
Elioinai Feb 2016
The eye doth long for stone abodes
deep quarries birthed to speak with clouds
the earthy treasures shine in sky
and mind remember ancient odes

that unashamed forethought
for children long born after
the ones who burned their strength away
to give two thousand better lot
with wisdom, warmth, and laughter

now our work seems fragile
fleeting
our teaching is too flighty
We wished ourselves so agile
that we forgot ancestral strength

We need that tall cathedral tower
or else we'll lose ourselves
forget that though our flesh is mist
our souls remain forever

All castles must return to sand
but let yours wait a little longer
put hands to work for enduring things
And let your mind much ponder
All must burn in the end, but tis best to work believing that it will benefit your children, to the seventh generation
Elioinai Oct 2014
The words are long and pretty,
They sure sound strong and good,
But would you use them in the valley?
And speak them in the woods?
Its easy to sing of your blossoming love,
Much harder to show it to me,
Do you really love the ugly, and care for the least of these?
It’s easy to write a lovely word, but paint it in your heart,
That’s work
Nov 16, 2014
995 · Sep 2016
a brilliant light
Elioinai Sep 2016
My God is living color
a translucent Fire
the traces of Your fingers drip like Gold
Your face blood Ruby red
split with veins of Garnet orange
Carnelian swirls ascending from Your feet
Revelation 4:3
989 · Sep 2015
Sun God
Elioinai Sep 2015
those who worshiped the sun
were right to honor majesty and power
to seek what truly gives us life
but the sorrow of their song
what they deemed as divine
was one small part of one fiery word
that blew out from the lips and mind
of the True Consuming Fire
a tragedy
staring at that little orb
did blind them to the Truth
My God is a great and mighty fire in strength. The sun he made reflects his majesty, but is oh so small in comparison
988 · Nov 2014
friendly fire
Elioinai Nov 2014
A killing day came,
and I led the ruby towards the gallows
but the knife pierced both I and the stone
no longer looking to better myself
I tried to survive
crying out at the blood spilling
from the word I had carved into the marks
from my fangs
Die
I had almost succeeded
in killing the poisoned chunk
of hollow mesmirism
but I had pulled out veins as well
and I died a little inside
Elioinai Oct 2014
I came back, from the great fight,
With my heart in a mess,
My mind began to crumble,
And my strength was ebbing away,
When did I forget the victories already won?
Cover up the truth, see the conquering line receding?
When did the spots reduce my vision?
And my dreams lose their bright contrastings?
I have found, that victories in life, are not like plaques on a wall,
But wrestling belts, for you must always fight to keep them.
July 16, 2013
979 · Oct 2014
To those who would diss us
Elioinai Oct 2014
It is so nice to know,
That I am me,
And not you,
I can do,
What I feel is right,
Instead of what you say,
And if I come to believe,
That what you said was right,
No shame,
For living my way,
It is shallow,
To follow words,
Lazy,
To obey without question,
And many times,
Fear,
Afraid to find the boundary lines myself,
Standing in a black lake,
That’s turning into gray,
I’d prefer you didn’t judge me,
I value your advice,
It certainly won’t help your case,
To sentence me in mine,
Trust is a virtue,
And teachers have their place,
But as a proverb wisely said,
Experience is best.
I understand it’s hard,
To always deal cross-culturally,
Your children are so different,
They change every day,
How can you know what’s relevant?
Please don’t say,
My generation is not deep.
My songs are meaningless,
My books can’t measure up,
To those of long ago,
My clothes are immodest,
My speech has lost the richness,
Of our glorious history.
Ha! I say,
And how? I ask,
Can you come to the conclusion,
That your generation was any better?
If it was, why did it not produce even grander children?
Why could it not stop,
This apparent decline?
Do not blame us,
Or forget,
How you longed for freedom,
And acted out as much as possible.
If our acting out seems worse,
I argue it only takes on different forms,
And our craftsmen rival yours,
Every day,
The grand reflection,
Of God I see in us,
Great beauty is wrought,
Throughout the earth,
And if evil is increased,
It is only because,
The number of men has grown.
Everything,
In greater scale.
May 24, 2014
978 · Oct 2014
Poetry Man
Elioinai Oct 2014
My heart shimmies and shivers,
While thinking of you,
Poetry for my eyes,
You stand like a dancing,
Sentence of silver,
And dance like a whirling,
Diction of diamonds,
Your dimple crescendos,
Calling out my own upon my cheek,
The curves of your mustache and beard,
Carve into my heart, and add to holes put there by your gauges,
You don’t care,
And I love that,
You enjoy a good drink,
Laugh in life’s face,
And speak as you wish,
But walk humbly before God,
You sing gently.
A Man you are,
And Man to be.
June 1, 2014
975 · Jan 2016
Bind my wounds
Elioinai Jan 2016
I let the enemy approach me
and cut my tender skin.
I let the blood run trembling
this fight I could not win.
My voice was gone from silent screams
bruised hands from angry fists

I found I wasn't half so *****
when my friends led me to your side
I had believed me rotten, horrid
Stained
But it was him who'd lied

In the worship of your presence
I felt your gentle hands
press down upon the open wounds
bind them in strips of white
I'm not a cutter, but I feel bloodied in my mental fights
Elioinai Nov 2018
walls go up like tinted glass
Each blurs the view more than the last
the tinge of blue turns Midnight
as each panel raises up
Alas!
we’re separated
as I spread the molten soda-lime
upon the molten tin to add another
to my rows of perfect pain
I’m powerless
to end this game
I’m powerless
to stop my hiding
Rescue me with Your sledgehammer of Grace
protect me from the shards
of a silent broken heart
I’m describing the image of putting up emotional walls between me and God, made of float glass, which is a process where a soda-lime-silica glass is poured onto a molten metal to form most modern glass panes.
  The only solution to my walls is God’s overwhelming Grace. It destroys my attempts at control and sweeps away my self-harm. It’s terrifying and wonderful
960 · Oct 2014
First heartbreak
Elioinai Oct 2014
Do you love me? I long to scream.
The answer rips through my conscience
and shrapnel drops from a broken heart
into a bitter stomach.
But the effects are not as bad as they could be,
For patience is a virtue that I don’t declare as vain
I won’t let myself go, or wain,
Too far, too fast, not completely broken, conscious
Yet.
August 6, 2012
I once was in love with a boy who never knew it
959 · Mar 2015
as blank as a galaxy
Elioinai Mar 2015
Some people want to draw the world upon their skin
But I see it there already
Some people stamp their favorite messages down arms and legs
But I see lovely verbage fall
around the edges of my veins
If my breast is a canvas
my bones an easel frame
my mouth will scatter paint
my eyes drip silver rain
to show you I am full and finished
A Universe
my name
May my words uncover my soul to the wise  and my beauty be hidden from fools. What a wonder has God created in every one of us!
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