My Inner Critic
I've misunderstood you far too long
I used to think you ginormous
But I see you're actually small.

You're not a beast I need to hide from
But a child I must protect
Your poisonous tongue was cursed to you
From years of abuse and neglect.

When you're scared, you can be scary
To get attention, you yell mean things
You bring something up over and over again
When you know that I'm not listening.

When I look, you're stuck and screaming
Like you felt and could never express
You see danger and no one will listen
I shut you down like all of the rest.

Sweet one, I'm sorry I ran from you
I misjudged your might and will
Now I've grown and understand better
No one ever taught you the skills.

Instead you learned to fear your big feelings
Because they made you bad and unloveable
But your feelings are valid and helpful to hold
You're on fire, but you're not combustible.

The rage that electrifies your skin
Makes sense and will not destroy you
We can redirect, run through it's end
Then, together, decide what to do.

You screamed that you wanted to die
But we dyed our hair instead
You wanted to take your own life
So we've taken it into our own hands.

Big feelings will always wash over us
I know sometimes that feels like too much
But now I'll listen and we can make choices
That won't harm either of us.

Whoever thought we’d say goodbye so early
To a woman that meant so much to so many
You’ve left behind hidden gems in us all
Especially the one that no matter what, we better stand strong and tall
But even in this unfortunate absence
She still instills
The ability to survive in the world
Some of us even picked up that amazing cooking gift you have
The ability to love tough when needed
And the high pedestal on how we should be treated
On how to be frugal and 100% independent
From start to finish, she was committed
This was a major loss for us ShotGun
But the many gems you instilled will forever stand
The most beautiful of them all, you’re now in the right hands amongst them all.
We Love You

In times of darkness, fear and strife,
Our guardian angel brings us light,
A flame eternal, burning bright,
Guiding us through day and night.

With wings of love and watchful eyes,
Our protector from the skies,
Forever by our side it stays,
In its care, we find our ways.

No storm can quench this sacred fire,
No force can dim its heavenly ire,
For in our hearts it will reside,
Our guardian angel, by our side.

The night provides catharsis,
To those who do not listen.
Daylight shows the truth -
That I never want to see.
You are my antithesis ,
Like a carpet of falling leaves.

You hide from me your secrets,
That would break me, had I known,
Yet the owls cry the night for me,
For secrets I do not own.

My dear protector,
       - my confident,
       - my bearer of wind

Do not banish me forever,
Across the river Styx, please,
Instead, lay down with me in silence,
On our carpet of fallen leaves.

Independent
A bit headstrong,
Her kindness,
Transcendent

Her accent shapes her character.

She doubts her abilities
When she is among the strongest
The hurt of her people
Is all she sees

She’s learning to look in the mirror
Not to see the imperfections
But all the possibilities

She rarely forgets
Although she hides behind a silhouette

A fierce protector
Without discrimination

They can’t all defend themselves
So she steps in

She will give her life for her country
And for it
They love her.
I hope she sees the change she creates
A magnificent ruler.

Each step in her red spiked boots
Paving a new path
For those forgotten or lost
Walking with her,
Their roots

She takes their hand
And leads them on

No persecution

Only solutions.

A tireless advocate for those without.

No need to ask
She understands her task

…………………………….

Could you use some help?
No need to ask

Just open your eyes
And seek her out

She’ll find you
Eventually
She sees through it
The lies.

I hope one day this queen
Will find a proper king
For now she rules independently

Fighting
Endlessly.

I am
A daughter, a sister, a woman
A teenager, a deep thinker, an individual
A friend, a fighter, a protector

I am
A believer in justice
A ferocious warrior
A force to be reckoned with

I am
Strong, determined, stubborn
Loyal, trustworthy, steadfast
Powerful, seeing, undenied

I am
Hearing, consoling, knowing
Feeling, never kneeling
Unreeling, seething, seeking

I am
A wielder of justice
My blade is my tongue
Dripping with poison
Blazing with righteous wrath

- Jay M
September 7th, 2021