There is an imprint of a frog on my back From a poem by Mary Oliver. It is sticky sweat oozing down my spine, Leaking into the small of my back Screaming, "You do not have to be good." My own skin whispers back, "But don't I?" and sears the grime. I don't know what to do with my own badness. Punishment for my "sins" seems necessary, But so does radical acceptance. All I can do is close my eyes, Hoping for a better tomorrow where My brain requires less dopamine And more compassion. Slowly I will rise from the grave I dig once a night. I will claw my way out by my fingers And into the light. Shame that no one will be near To see the resurrection.
I lived a lifetime, In your temporary presence. Independent & free, You unarmed me from my weapons.
It wasn't just a summer fling, The memories are now a stain, I regret we never said I love you but.. Happy, I got to hear you call me by your name.
-Elio to Oliver
Wrote my rendition of Elio's incomplete romance after Oliver's departure in 'Call me by your name'. Every scene of this movie holds a special place in my heart. The heartbreak, the love, the sensuality, the acceptance- love every bit of it.
I was seduced in Barnes & Noble, lured to the poetry section next to coffee and pastries
I touched her Blue Iris, fondled her Red Bird and recounted why she wakes to watch the early sunrise
She looked better than I remembered in a brown jacket with a striking emblem of a bear on the front She took me to her tent near Truro and told me of turtles, toads, hermit *****, and her fear of ridding her garden of a small harmless snake
I spill my passion on the beach’s sand — our bed for now
Under her cover she shares phrases, moles, verbs, and curves of sweet new perceptions
We are intimate beyond belief through her verbal kisses which bring sweat to my palms
I’m high, hallucinating on Mary my drug of choice
I’m having an affair with Mary Oliver
I am re-posting this in light of the recent death of Mary Oliver. I miss her
Time floats away but there’s no regret I’ve read verses of trees, of hope, of contentment I shed a tear, or more, words can have that effect I am blessed with your gift of words You were granted death My thoughts are sad but light, you lived a full and grateful life Your departing year matched my arrival I hope for your future, spread on wings And you feel light breeze among those beloved trees