The drug
The high
The confusion
The craving
The withdrawal

The brain feels overwhelmed
The noise creates chaos in my mind
The silence I seek
The alone time I need

The anxiety kicks in
Struggling to breathe...
Overthinking creates an addiction, to the things that cause mind suppression.

My mind is noisy, with thoughts of occurrences that have happened, and some not.
I try not to depress myself, but mistakenly think too far in the future, then get disappointed because expectations have not been reached.
Busy, distracted, chaotic, and unfocused.

I reach no end to where my mind goes...
A path of little thoughts that creates an explosion and downfall.

I crave the drugs to give my mind a rest.
To give it a sense of peacefulness...
I have failed lifes tests.

Tense, tight, my mind implodes.
Burn my thoughts and bury them in ashed coal.

Cannot sleep
Cannot close my eyes
Always in a state of overthinking...
Like my brain is constantly blinking

Kiss me, hold me, feel me, feel it...
This intense throbbing aching lust of love.
Am I too alluring?
Can you feel me inside of you?
******* you relentlessly.
How hard are you?
Is your mind awake?
Can you feel a hole being drilled through it?
Am I passionate?
Am I seducing you to these pleasures that you cannot resist?
Irresistible, faint to the touch.
To satisfy, you cannot resist the urge.
It's pushing through every promise and memory you've ever had.
I'm not like the others...
You've loved, you've ******...
But have you had your earth shaken like a magnitude of an explosive volcano that boils to the top.
A flaming ridden peak of desire that never burns out.
It's aching.... you're about to explode.
Don't, feel it linger instead ......
Are you breathing heavy?
Are you shaking, I swear you have never met someone like me before.
Call me baby...
Papi...
Don't love me too hard, I might just leave.

Ssssshhh....
It's just a mind ****.

My thoughts screaming out loud...
**** me daddy...
I need it bad, I want it, I crave it like a sin waiting to be unfolded inbetween my thighs where wetness needs to be explored.
You seem like trouble, temptation that I can’t help but have no control over.
Teasing you senselessly and wondering why I seem to have such an effect on people.
My eroticism speaks millions of sensual nightmares waiting to be unraveled and seeked upon.
My curtains are shaking and trembling waiting for pleasure to be evoked.
I scream to loudly on the inside wanting to lock away this part of me.
My ****** and ****** nature got me in bad spaces in the past, locking and hiding away that part of me for so long , I forgot what it felt to squirt... to feel drenched in your sweat, to leak forbidden sins...
Calling me your ****, I love it when you provoke me, wrap me, and hold me.
It’s been a long time, I need a reminder of what it’s like to be bad again...
I’ve been good, keeping my habits controlled.
I want to feel you and ******* so bad it’s driving a drill through my chaotic sinful mind.
My words so raw and unfiltered, I need it bad...
Daddy, punish me for all that I have sinned...
Don’t forgive me, kiss me harder and penetrate deeper into my mind.
**** me with your words then show me what a bad baby I’ve been....
The devils ****** monster is lurking within, waiting for a sign....
Hungry and seductively parched.
Bring out my demon and allow her to drive you ****** insane...

"Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing **** yet? Are you watching me because I move alone?"
Well, look a little harder, because as glass reflects on me I reflect back revealing the other side of me.
Two-sided.
She dances with ease.
Do you feel the pain because it's pain that I unleash.
I am the inner workings of your mutability.
I switch up as I am never at true peace.
Look at me, watch me...
Feed on me as I feed onto you.
The perplexities of my intentions are at it's core when I move.
Lost, but just a crazy ***** with the master ability to play with your mind baby.
Do you see it?
I do.
And she's nasty.
Taste her, lick her, **** her.
She's the dark side of me and she's waiting to play.
Tear me up like I'm your doll and grasp onto my insides like the strings have been attached so the grip cannot lose itself in your sins of your sinful embellishment.
Dress me up, move me.
You are my puppet and I only want to tease your mind.
**** me like a twist of your mad insanity.
Play with me.
Taste me, and watch me because, I move alone.

It's mortifying...
The dilemma, the time lapse, the wait, the clock.
The abstract that I so blatantly describe in my other writings.
Time cannot be paused, stopped...
The abstraction is so formulated into one diverse piece, the creation of such is appealing, yet reformative.
Inconsequential, to the matter of science, myth, philosophy, conduct, and everything that exists beyond our mind.
I hold onto this creation, because the conclusion of the matter holds many intellectual debates that cannot be won or answered.
It is forbidden, it's lost.
The question of right and wrong holds many definitions that are inexplicable to the concept of reality itself, when the utter illusion holds the introspection that philosophers like myself, cannot give a precise answer to.
Time will let us be.

It's a quiet storm, and I've never felt like this before.
Sometimes I think, you're just too good for me.

Take a sip, take a hit, take a drag, take a sniff.
Mix it up, lose yourself in your sins.
Take this lust potion baby, move that slow motion.
Just take another sip, lean, trip.
******* to the floor, playing with my hair, fingers like a web.
Just listen, red eyes in a room full of lies.
I know you bite, I need it, take a sip and feel free.
Just take another sip, and we'l lean.
Oooooh baby, stick down to the ground, I need you on the floor. knees to the ground.
I know you feelin, the same way that I feel and I know this is for real.
He says hes feelin, that feelin, that we're feelin, and he want it bad.
Just take another sip, and we'l lean.
Mushrooms got us trippin, got you rollin on the floor, laughing, passed out, then I **** you.
Papi like it good.
Call me baby while I give it like I should.
Put a spell on you, a lust potion.
Take it, sip it, eat it, **** it.
How did I get like this?
Voodoo lust.
You think this lust we have is normal?
It's passionate, hard, ******, intense, sinful, unapologetic, desirable, sensual.
Pull my neck from the back and choke me harder daddy.
...
It's my voodoo magic baby.

In a locked up abandoned room, stands dead people,
all worn and torn, all helpless and scarcely unknown.
They weep trickles of tears from their eyes, soaking down to their cheeks,
innocent faces and scarred bodies,
invisible to the world and their minds dreadfully drilled, with thoughts of insanity, as they rot inhumanely.

Open wounds and jars of acid, the key lays in one of them, torturous and hardly discredited
It's deadly, and extremely rapid.

Trapped and held back, suppressed and feelings of soul lack,
where the crows die at 3:00am, it's satanic, dark, dull and dim.

Hands burn and screams cry, the jar is black, so they hadn't know in which the key lie.

The secrets within, dark, deadly and too hard to ****** swim.

Weak and demolished, some people collapse in pain and satanic craze, the haze, the daze, thoust peculiar trickles of red rain drops from the ceiling above, rose wine red, depth is dark and foul like jin

It's ****** up...

Our ghosts keep all kinds of secrets, with their hands behind their back and face hidden and covered in black, suppression creates a place of torturous days and weeping eyes of display...
Isolation makes it worse, it creates a lonesome curse...

Treat your ghost well, then the dark won't take over, and make it dreaded and unwell...
Tell...
*All your secrets within

"I'm always getting high cuz' my confidence low...
And I'm always in a rush, ain't no time to **** slow
It's not something I don't know...
But I'm sure I'll make you *** do it three times in a row...
And I'm sure you would've left but that ***** in control...
That ***** in control..."

"I like the thrill...
Nothings ever made me feel so real
So don't leave me here alone,
I don't wanna spend tonight alone..."

I will ******* right, til' you tired to leave me
I will do you right...
Until your subconscious got you screamin' my name
Crave me...
Sensuality got you fallin'
I am your void.

Let the madness be the only thing you embrace as your soul craves me like a drug.
There is beauty behind the madness.
Look
Can you see?
Devour your senses I shall...

So tell me you love me,
Just for tonight
For one night only

I lie and await while you lift off your shirt for me...
I bite my lip and smile, while bending in my leg.

My hair, in a state of disaster,
Messy and tangly, dark rose wine lip stain...
Your ****** monster.

You climb onto the bed with a charm set on your face...
Your expression tells me a ton...
Making my mind ***...

You tackle me with your touch as you feel up my legs....
My thigh tingles as you place your fingers inbetween them...

I lick my lips whilst moaning in a sensual pleasure....this feeling of erotica is something like long lost treasure.
Breathe onto my neck....
Feel my heart beat as you turn up the heat.
Baby, make me leak....

I've craved you, an intense arousing feeling comes about...
Love is making us... like ******* is nothing but a poor lust.

Squeeze my *** while I moan....
You pull out your stick ...
Oooh baby it's so thick.
**** me like you need me...
Kiss me ******' passionately.
Soulful lust...
Like the earths crust.

Crush me...
Devour me.
Taste me...
Lick me...
Baby just *** me.

I claw the bed sheets while you go deeper in me.
Head tilts back while you grab my throat in hack.
Your back inbedded with ****** scars as I claw and scratch you....
I love it how you do me...
More...
I love you like you have no ******' clue...
Adore.

****** tensions build as you kiss me down my hips...
I love the feeling of your soft luscious lips...
Kiss me...
I am everything you liss.

"Lips so french, *** so spanish"
The words escape from your mouth.
"**** me right til' I'm too tired to leave you"
I reply in truth.

Passionate love so good you got me in a sensual mood.
Sweat drippin' down our bodies...
I love the sensual lust...

What do you want from me?
Why arn't you scared of me?
Why don't you care for me?
Do you fear me because I'm alone?
Slip, cut yourself on the glass and swim in your drowning blood.
It's a dark place, it's vivid, the ghosts are deadly.
Cut your tongue, you can't talk, you won't be heard.
Voices are whispers, silent.
Wonder, stay fearful.
Come, enter my dark acidic wonderland and die with me.
Eat tongues as the whisper echoes in the dark.
Freeze, don't say anyhing, just watch me.
Watch me move.
(Scream)
Horrifying, I die in placid stillness and my yell for help cannot be heard.
It's mortifying, help me.
But I love playing these games, until my heart, bleeds.
Cut me, lick my blood, watch the rabbits head twist off as he loses his race against time.
Nothing is going to save you now.
You are dead.
I wanna end me.
**** me in the dark.
The ghosts come in my dreams and pull me, they want me.
The only energies that want me, not wanted by humans, not wanted by anyone.
Nobody likes me.
**** me in the dark.
...
End me

I don't even have the words to express.
I think about you constantly, without even trying to.
You fill my thoughts with these experiences that I can't seem to get a hold of.
I want to hold you, kiss you, feel you penetrating deeply.
The love I have for you is unimaginable, it's not something even I can comprehend.
This connection, like a strong magnetic pull that burns every muscle in me.

When will I see you again?
Where are you?
You in my thoughts, manifesting me.
This intense pull of entrancing enigma.
It is to burn me to my grave.

Come to me now ❤️

My mind is elsewhere...
and the only person I have on it; is you.
My mind goes back to that night; the way you spoke to me, touched me, looked into me, The way you kissed me...
The intensity and passion between us was so magnetic that even shadows could not bare to lurk.
Obsession, possession, love.
I want it all for myself.
I filtrate your thoughts, you obsess over it, you want to do more than just **** me.
You feel guilt.

Nobody has ever looked at me like that...
The mannerism of it was, was something I have never had or felt before.
I feel his thoughts, pulsating through my every nerve, my desires are not to be obsolete.
Our energies, it's intertwined in a way that I have not with anyone else.
An image, a reflection... Of me.
You are me, and I am you.

I want to feel you again, in person.
I feel you spiritually and it makes me miss you immaculately.
I see you in my dreams, waking thoughts, my soul longs for yours.
I know you feel me, I know you love me, I can feel it.
It's creating a hold of heartache inside of you, you are dared to not even breach because of your priceless ego that stops you from what could make you someone completely different.
You were hurt, and to never trust a woman again was your broken promise you made to yourself.
Yet, you saw something in me when you met me, and decided to run away and treat it for what it was not because of your broken soul that you were not ready to face.
Complacent, stubborn, you already know you are mine, and I already know that I am yours.
I've adapted, but I still think of you.
Profusely, I still remember the gleaming stare in your hazel eyes.

Yet, timing is a matter of precaution...

Too much synchronicity...
I feel you.
Your touch, your taste, your kiss, your skin.
Knocking me is the way to go, just put our lips together, and blow.
Baby, just breathe on me.
Blow on my soft flesh and kiss.
Lubriciously, lusciously, lustfully.
Breathe on my taste, my touch, my sin.
We don't even need to be physical, tonight, my senses don't make sense at all.
Our imaginations...
Take it in, let it out...
Baby, just breath on me.
Seductively, sensually, sexually.
We don't even need to touch, just breathe.
Baby.... **** yeah.
(Moans)
Feel my sin as it's desire that I unleash.
Magnitude, corresponding with your aching thought of impure lustful intention.
Intention, feel me grasp onto your every nerve with my non-physical touch.
Caress me, hold me, baby, don't even **** me, just breathe onto my neck, my shoulder, my breast, my stomach, my *****, my thigh, my legs, my ***.
Can you feel it?
As I mind *******, it's that tingling sensation I release.
Aaaaaaah, baby, stop, and just breathe.

I notice it, I notice it's flaws. I see its texture, I witness the shapes and metamorphic coherency's. It's all aligned in a wild pattern. Like walking in a catastrophic maze and never finding the ending.
But to really observe profusely, the maze has its own pattern, agenda.
Screaming to myself, aloud, I express myself grandiosely.
It all makes perfect sense
The missing piece is not missing, it never was, it was merely detaching.
Detaching from all life forms itself, like a cell that does not belong to another.
The maze was juxtaposed in its own creation.
People were too simple to understand it.
The jagged puzzle doesn't need another piece, it just needs a new formula, a new path, a new perspective, it needs to stay jagged in order to create more purposeful moments and inventions.
Complexities reach a higher peak than ever before, if you try to straighten the puzzle and find a piece to fit in it, you destroying its true and only purpose.
You cannot mold or fix something, you cannot sand it down.
You just need to let it be.
It's shapeless, it doesn't need a form, or a label.
It just is what it is to be.
And that is the secret. The contradiction needs to stay as the contradiction in order to invent the expedition.

My eyes are forever ruined. I see too much, and what I see melts every gold and silver I have embedded in me.
I seem to know too much, but never too much to expand beyond limitations.
Limitations of what the mind can see.
I suffer, a heart of pure diamond, moulded into what others have made me.

I see intentions, crowds of people, lies, pain, truth...
But this gift means nothing to me anymore.
The healing I carry with myself.
I am not heard and listened to.
I feel misunderstood.

What can you do when you have it all?
But something is missing...
I’m smart, intelligent and driven.
Back at school as an adult to complete something important to push myself for further opportunities.
I push myself too hard and suffer defeat when I face failure.

Failure is my only fear.
It’s scary... knowing that without self discipline, where am I to be?

Please stop loving me, I am too sensitive.
Evil, personified.
I am torn, disappointed, disgusted...

Love serves me no purpose anymore.
Buried so deep inside of me is longing and confusion.
Wanting what I can no longer have.
I push away those who do

Too picky?
Too cold, detached from it all.

I want you, only you.
I still think about you.

But I may be wrong, for I have wronged myself into thinking that I will ever see you again.

Yolan.

Broken imagery....
I was so wrong
Darling clairvoyant, please stop ruining me

I love it when you take control, I love it when you re-own me.
I love it when you squeeze my gut, I love it when you re-establish me.
So you're a bad guy?
Think again...
Dominate you until your juices explodes.
I'm your savage, a perfect mystery.
A weapon, a long lost slavery.
Misguide your imperfections and make you tell me again,
Who's the bad guy?
**** with your mind and turn the page, write a new script and flip a new chapter...
But you like it really rough, hmm, tough guy.
Let's go again, I'm your bad guy, you're my *****, think again...
I just make you think you're my daddy, and you think I'm your *****, it's called the master of trickery.
But it's the other way around, That's how good I am, at being the bad guy.
But you still wanna **** with me, you love it, **** with you like you ****** with me the other night.
But that's the thing about my duality, she likes it really rough, she's tough, she plays games and always wins.
You lose, tough guy.
I'm the bad guy, hmm...
DUH
...

It’s beautiful, a feeling of pure darkness and intensity.
It’s freeing, like a raven in a cage waiting to break free.
It’s dangerous, opening yourself up to such a matter of inner conscious.
Losing self control and letting yourself go.
The dead sleeps still, the graveyard whispers pain and sin.
It’s midnight, I’ve been in this beautiful place for so long.
It’s peaceful, like I am one with the dead of night.
I felt something I didn’t feel in a really long time.
I felt like I belonged, like the spirits surrounded me in welcoming peace.
At first I felt a heaviness, a blockage in my throat.
They felt threatened, thinking I was invading their space.
When they realized, I’m one of them, just another lost soul.
Lines and lines and wired times.
Fading into the abyss and getting high.
The spirits communicate with me, I can feel their energies like an instant magnetic pull.
I can feel their pain, their sadness, their hardships, their madness. I can feel it all, and I soak in energies like a sponge, I can’t help it. Intuition kicks in and I can’t even block it.
It’s intense and beautiful, the fog and misty air.
The dark light, and despair.
I FELT EVERYTHING
It was the best experience I’ve ever had in a really long time.
The graveyard in the back of the church, where true love sleeps, souls stay forbidden, sacred, ridden in deep.
A hidden passage way to the unknown and discreet.
I finally found where I belong, for I am a lost soul, buried six feet deep.

Can I be loved?
Or is it overrated.
Is self love enough?
Or am I walking on a thin rope, my eyes, shut closed, I may die in my misery, a façade of continuous joy.
Am I to be loved, in my embodiment of Aphrodite herself.
Maybe I am too closed off.
Or maybe I am too pure.
These contradictions are my addictions and I can never seem to pick between the two.
Maybe love is too good for me, like a curse that strings me to the depths of insanity where love cannot even be justified.
Maybe I am a monster in my drowning tears.
Or maybe, just maybe, I am juxtaposed.
Once they fall in love with me, they fear, run away like cowards with boneless spindles.
My walls so hard, can dynamite even be crushed?

To feel that feeling...
Sensual pleasures...
To hold, to actually feel...
I've lost meaning of the word.

Can I be loved? Or am I too powerful?

>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.

Emotions are illusive like the monsters one can see. Monsters cannot be seen, so they live inside your head.
Are the monsters really destroying you? Or is it your thoughts whilst alone, lying in bed...
The illusion of life itself can lead to many emotions of ones mind...
Blinds us.
So we feed on the illusion of negativity.
Things happen that make us see the darkness.
Destructive, like a dead body and a ****** mess.
Corruptive...
Yet still I test.

I look around,
I see a sea of faces...
So many faces pretending
To be content with the life they have.
They walk around acting as if marriage and kids is the only source of fulfillment.
I feel a deep wealth of sadness
As the ones without those things
Still continue to progress forward,
While I sit washed away feeling useless.

Useless like a bird without wings...
Numbness is a glimpse.
As the emotions pour into you...
Your soul feels inburdened with dread.
Sins...

Sin isn't something that I believe in,
I believe in enjoying life to the fullest...
Yet I'm always with both knees to the ground.
Wondering if I'll ever be worthy of success,
I mean I'm just an outcast to most eyes that inhabit this planet.
There's not much meaning to my life.

An outcast with a craving for happiness.
So I take the devils side in hopes for success.
Failure is an illusive matter that my dark mind cannot cope with...
I judge myself in misery.
My dark philosophical thoughts rise inside of me...
Blind eyes see the lies...
And when in doubt, I see it too.
My third eye shut down...
My spirituality is all but gone...
I crave the high...
I need the drug in my veins to fight through the **** pain.

But even happiness is forbidden fruit,
An illusion best served as a party favor.

Vanity stole me
Vanity corrupted me
Vanity tranquilized me
Vanity disrupted me

These lines have me thinking wrong thoughts, thoughts that are of uncanny nature and vain thoughts of selfishness and unhealthy erotica.
Vanity took all the sanity away from the head, and left me alone, not even therapy can stabilize me, I rebuild my soul.
I'm out of my mind, and I'm yellin' out, vanity
...
Like a drug itself, these lines are like decaf and vanity is my addictive curse.
Addiction not to the drug, but to the feeling of such an intense self love, it eats you up inside, you take the substance to escape the sinful feeling.
Logic, and proportion, all dead.
Losing myself,
Get out of my head.
Get out of my thoughts.

A love so deep, it rips apart your unhealed skull.
A mystery of illusions, inclusivity is dared to be dispelled.
May I hold you?
Or am I too far away.
Can I feel you?
Just a touch to make me beg of your despair.
Unwritten poetry, a querulent secrecy of written misery and longing.
I want to love, may I love?
Whom can be loved more than the love of thyself?
I fall to my aching pits.
I feel you...
But you are not here.

Mixin' up these potions, entering the snake bite into my veins.
Playing you like a puppet as I unleash the venom.
Tell me how it tastes...
Lick it, **** it.
Voodoo dolls playing games at your feet and controlling you like you have nothing to hold onto.
I'll have you, and own you.
I'll be your worst nightmare.
Feel my pain, tormenting you.
Infect you, I'll kiss you, I'll **** you.
Consume me, consume me, consume me.
Bite my venom into you neck as you howl in pain.
Like a frost bite, ice cold as the teeth sinks in.
Worship me, your dark goddess.
Voodoo.
Pinching needles through your chest and laughing at your cries.
Aching, the pain throbs.
The pain you made me feel, back onto you.
She cheated you, the next one died.
Who's doing was that?
Karma?
Step on the glass, staple your tongue.
Cries become mere whispers malevolent to your despair.
Eating cotton candy as your heart begins to tear.
Apart.
I wanna, end you.
Why arn't you scared of me?

My thoughts are dazed…
Claustrophobic and hazed.
I’m exhausted and unamazed,
Fatigueness of some kind, low from the natural high.
Thoughts in my mind are delusive and unkind.
Dizzy and feeling quite fizzy
Not in the mood for studying, excitement, and fun.
Sitting by my lonesome self just writing what I can process.
Head feels heavy, got me feeling a bit queasy
Uneasy
Zoned out and lost in my thoughts
Sun is out and the wind is harsh…
It’s skin prickling and dissatisfying.
My exhaustion is sickening.
Absolute death and no reason
No fret
But anguished in my enclosed mind
But no threat…

System overkill
Discredit and disregard
Explain but disagree and make it hard
Exhalation and permutation
Loss of existence and clouded perception

Obsessive minds and sniffed up lines
Excessive amounts and numbers you cannot even count.
Broken, ripped, torn, and outwardly worn.
A lost ghoul, selfish, and for more you mourn.
Poor and dead, not yourself, completely blacked out and unconscious in bed.

Overdosed on the ******’ pills, suicide attempts never work…
Let the meds pour…
Gone, so gone…
Just let the meds pour...

Twisting and turning, clenching and frowning, time ticking, head tenses and exhaustion still remains, as insomnia is the monster that causes such energetic drains.
My mind continues thinking, senseless and strange actions and motives,
I sit up and sigh, as I cannot sleep... and during the day, my exhaustion piles up in heaps.
Grab a snack in the kitchen and watch the television, this all won't help as early rising has to occur for the busy day ahead, but I still sit here in thought progression.
The last 3 days the monster attacked, ******* out my sleep and keeping me awake and sleep lacked.
I stare at the computer screen whilst typing out black letters that rhyme, boredom strikes as I look down on the screen and see the time.
01:22 The next day has begun and all I hear are dogs barking and howling, I am irritated and annoyed, as I also hear them growling.
All I want to do is sleep and dream, but the monster is insane and steals all the sleep chemicals the brain produced, and now it has gained.
Insomnia is the worst, I don't know what to do, insomnia is my curse.

Ashes and dense walls
Curled up spines and locked doors
Morbid carvings and ****** floors
Dark nights and gory flaws

Hidden from reality and tortured to death,
Starving…
You eat other bodies and drink the blood of their last breath
You have become a monster, Satan’s child.
Insanity takes over, and not so mild.

Kicking and screaming
Punching and hitting
Scratching and cutting
Pain infliction and dreaded decompassion

Given up, trapped in a dungeon of despair.
It is disgusting and foul
Hollow and cold, it’s inside of you…
It’s your empty shallow soul.

<You're not *****, you're hungry
and the flesh you taste is not the one you choose

It's a darkness and a light
A salve and an open wound
Bodies mix and twist

You don't want to be ******
You want to be satiated

And if your sheets could talk, darling
They tell of the loneliest *******

Paint yourself blue and bleed out
Sensual sins succulent like honey
Licked lips waiting for more

Darling there's never enough

>If sheets could talk, they would whisper sins.
Your voice of calm magnetic enigma, yet, your body screams for more.
You pull me, twist me, wrap around me, riding me.

Lonliest ******* of a saint waiting to be loved.
Instead, ******* the wrong, and bleeding with pain.

Love me, she says. Hurt me, she says. choke me.
Sensual, and so seductive. You pull me in.
Daddy... She screams

There's never enough, she just wants more, she pleads with a hungry heart, because he can't love her like she wants him to, so sin, succulent like honey, is what she needs to choose.

Written spells and locked doors.
Mental dispels and cursed flaws.
Aching tensions and delusional illusions.
Illusive dreams and paths to explore.
Wide awake, like a bat...
My mind is on high alert, it never goes to sleep.
Constant mental chatter, an over-active mental state.
It is eternal and I live in the misery and learn to control it.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
My mind is it's own person, it's own monster.
It opposes different ideologies, beliefs, and conflicts, into one.
I question my mind and talk to myself like a mad clown.
Conversating in my own form.

Boundless amount of wit and seedless unpleasant jokes.
Dark and uncensored, explicit and provocative.
A ***** tongue with **** lips to make you want to play with me more.

But am I really what you desire?
Or have you created your own storm.
Do I reflect you?
Or do you just reflect yourself through me.

Smile through the misery, you can't die with a serious face.
Stitch up the corners and pull it up high so you never have to cry again.
Maybe I am you, or maybe I am just suffering through my own madness.
Maybe my madness has become someone else.
My actions of contradictory displays.
But you love me though...

Lets play

>Stained on the lips, as you bite your lip hard, the blood drips, the taste of metal against your tongue.... sacrificial blood as the passion awakens...

<My body yours to the soul I give
Blood feeding into our veins
Drinking from my cup
O' holy grail
Fill you up
Can you ******* pain

>Feeding on my my insides, my body yearns for the touch. I feed onto your pain, as you unleash your burdens onto me, I feel your touch soaking deeper onto mine, I crave your sensuality, your erotica got me feelin' weak

<The words you never speak seeping in my skin
Holding all inside sharing love and sin
I feel you
I know you
You writhe in serpents hive
Let's wind back the dangers
Let us  **** and thrive
Beneath Hell we shall dive

>**** harder as we thrive deeper in sin,  I feel you inside of me rushing through my veins, like electricity shocking through my nervous system... I try to hold on to the thought of you, but it rushes through me like a flash, I forget you, then it's done.

I feel it....
The urge,
The scratch,
The knuckle,
The crack,
The sound,
The glimpse,
The silence....

Change, inwardly evolving into every step I make, every word I say, every breath I take.
What is at stake?

I struck myself at a forsaken introspection.
Becoming, someone new.
Someone dark, and someone light.
Someone who I never thought I could be.
Intensity strikes and the magic I have been hiding resurfaces.
I am many forms...
Of me.

I then, start to see.
She was just a cover, but now I unfold and surface at my most enlightened peak.
I feel me, I know me.
Yet, it's a monumental battle of self, constantly changing, having different outlooks.
Allowing perception to take shape into different formulas.

I found myself, lost in the darkness, and lost in the light.
The substantial view of solitude has awoken a part of me that was lurking in the shadows of what I thought I was losing.

Space, moving slowly, at a pace, with no fight or race, but a high vibration of intentional awareness that I now foresee, down, and high, the pits of me as I grow to actually be.

The me I had lost, the new version of what I thought me would be.
Profusely intertwining with chaotic yet peaceful mindless thoughts.

I feel it...
No hassle,
No chase,
No worry,

Just peace.
I accept me.

Make me shake...
Loose yourself between my words...
make my thighs quake.

Caress me as you kiss me ever so divinely,
hold me and never let go...
Can you feel my flow?

Devour me and consume my inner thoughts,
wrap me up and allow your mind to get caught.

Euphoria sends chills throughout your body...
your nerves, your veins, and your soul,
day'm ***** you know...

Let me magnate you and passionately bite your neck,
I will inspire you to learn to love if you feel too empty inside,
Let me be the drug in your empty cold veins and let me teach you to fight through the harsh mind-created pain...
Feel my skin create sensations of erotica whilst touching yours...
Feel my pleasurable sins...as I give you a little peck.

Love me, even though you don't love me, just for tonight, I will make you feel ever so majestically light.
You are my dream, and healing your empty soul is my scheme.

Love me hard baby...cuz sexuality is insane when there hate to impatiently drain...

I walk along the tight rope in shame.
Whispering to myself "hold your **** together''
Halfway through, almost reaching the end, the pain surges, electrocuting through my whole body, static.
I fall
Not knowing how I'm going to land.
She jumps out from inside of me as I hit the sandy ground.
Head jolts, slow motion review.
Hurting, the pain I deserve, for knowing, knowing too much. the power consumes.
It rushes like a harsh wind, like a storm that cannot be unveiled.
Yielding inside of me, she bursts, and explodes like a thunder exhibition.
Laying next to me, only I can see her.
Her dark eyes staring into mine, I try to look past the horror.
"Don't leave me" a careless whisper.
She vanishes into thin air, I lose myself in despair.
I stare up at the high ceiling, waiting for the other ones to give me life and healing.
One unleashes, but one of fury and anger, Sukubus, the fighter.
She gets up in an aggressive explosive motion and attacks everyone around her viciously.
Here I am again, switching.
Switching, needing those people inside of me to keep me alive.
Like a spirit, without them I am dead.
Creation of the mind fighting against reality trying to show, but hiding in promiscuity.
I'm a good liar, choosing to be honest.
The will I have has weakened to the inner pits of my core, and without these personas, I am nothing but a rotting corpse.
So, I ask for those around me to stop judging me please.
I am only trying, trying for so long, that doing has me acting out too **** impulsively.
Forgive me, I was born to sin, but to love so passionately, a loyal mind of pure integrity.
I wish not to be so alone in melancholy, but defeated, so I stand alone, trying to survive the unknown.
I open my eyes, looking around me, seeing everyone dead, blood scattered and bodies twisted.
I get up, and start again, unleashing another personality.

I think I'm ****** gone, rollin on this floor.
Messin up the carpet, I'll get on it after 4.
Obsession to the form.
Can't believe I made it, But I made it, that's for sure.
They don't want my love, they just want my potential.
Baby if you knew, the feeling I would give to you.
I'ma play you like a game boy, don't want one, what's the thrill of the same toy.
But it takes one night, to prove, the feeling I would give, to you.
The more I have, the more numbness I circum.
The less emotion involved, the more fun I have.
Addicted to the thrill.
Fun inspires me.
I've always been the **** one they all want.
I give them what they need, but never what they can have, because, I will simply leave.
Leave you wondering.
...
Life of the party.
I go down town with the drugs in my body, filled to the top, pain buried.
I taste it, then I throw it.
Welcome to the other side, lust.
Baby step outside your mind.
Just take it down low.
If you wanna do it baby, I'm ahead with you.
You can follow me...
Take that step, you're the life of the party.
...
I got two ladies, I got one little room, there's a room full of ******, baby what you wanna do
... ?

Is it really what I need?
Or is it what I want?
Do I need to control my habits?
I have been for so long, but I know what happens once I give in to them...
Indecisive, I can’t make up my mind.
I keep switching between different thoughts holding me back, trying to own me.

I pop all alone, for fun.
But it’s love what I seek.
To have someone whom like me, understands me.
Someone dark, intense, emotional, and passionate.

I crave it deep inside but I brushed it off completely letting go of the topic of lovin.
I incoherently, fell in love with the topic of sin.
I need it bad.

I’m feeling ****** and sensual.
I’m feeling seductive and flirtatious.
I want someone close whom I can share that with on a deep level.
I’ve only felt pain, bring the drugs, to numb me again.

Vain, cold veins shivering inside of me.
So detached, love is nothing to me.
Water flowing inside my lungs, fire in my heart, and a devil on my tongue.

I crave depth and intensity with someone.
Love me hard, even if it’s just for one night only.

My soul is screaming
My wounds stay open
The scars have not healed
I am dead inside

My soul cries for the grave
Show you the rage I am feeling
Empty, lost, can't find myself, lost in my lie

Without the mask, where will I ******' hide?
Blurring and stirring, the truth and the lies...
Winged, but cannot fly

Dark, morbid, incomplete and burdened

The screams of my soul are forever echoing...
Bury my lost soul in a grave of emptiness
Lonely
My dead soul
Wounds ache in dark sympathy

I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but chains and whips to cover the truth.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but wounds and scars to cover the pain.
I'm just a beautiful liar, with nothing but twists and schemes, to cover the hate.
You may deny me, you may admit me, you may underestimate me.
But somehow, I have you questioning yourself.
I'm just a beautiful liar, trying to be good.
I lie with no remorse, yet, I tell the truth bluntly.
I know my capabilities, only a few I choose to use it on.
Don't trust me, and I won't trust you.
I'm just a beautiful liar, beggin, to be good.
Punish me daddy, for I have lied to tell the truth.
For I have sinned to be good.
For I have underestimated my own intelligence, to get my way.
I'm just a beautiful liar, covered in promiscuity.

Who am I to become?
What am I to be?
Where do I go now?
What is left for me?

Who do I have besides myself.
A washed away face of waste and misery.
Alone on a path, I feel defeated, left to rot, thrown out.
Evil monsters lurking everywhere I go, every corner I turn, faces that haunt me, taunt me, hurt me, forbid me, tell me what I am not.
HUMANS.
Cold and remorseless, petty mindless beings with no sense of realism, depth, purity.
Nothing, all reflecting of dark shadows that they themselves cannot even face.

Labeled, by superficial beings who think they have the right to know me and get into the secrecies of my life.
You know nothing of me, how would you?
I don’t want you to.
Stay away…
Let me lurk, an unknown shadow cursing your name.
Fear me because you fear why you cannot see, the unknown, the inner dimensions of life and death itself…
I see it all.
I’ve felt it all.
Dreaded myself for pain, only to be reborn, over and over and over.
An endless cycle that I am forced to go through, like a 90 year only waiting on the hospital bed for death to take her away.
I’m tired, I’m done.
Every inch of my soul, my mind, my being…
Has become nothing.
I have nothing left.
Left nothing to become.
Dead everyday,
Waiting for the grim to let me sleep eternally.
However, karma is my own debt, and for eternity, I have to suffer.
I am defeated
**** me/…
I’m already dead

I might just be too good for you, or you too good for me.
So immune to love, so unchangeable.
Will you take me in?
You did many things, that I liked.
And your name deserves to be in my heart.
But you sleeping with a frozen heart and it belongs to someone else.
You made me feel so real, so unacquainted.
You brought the thrill, the risk, the rush.
I live for danger...
I haven't been around town in a long while, with you.
I apologize, but I've been trying to get over you by seeing them.
And you wished me good luck, to find somebody to love.
Honey please, don't leave.
I just might be too good for you.
Unrestricted, so priceless.
I'm everything.
I deserve it.
...
Take me in

>The sky roars as the thunder explodes, the storm collides in my every memory of waking thought, I seem to clash as the change of season happens as abruptly as my change of emotion.

<I am plummeting to the bottom of the ocean
Drinking in the salty sip
Rising high as the commotion
Riding the low and the wavering dip.

>My focus seems obscured, scrutinized with every drip.
Drip drop...
Drip drop...
Lost. But still standing, the question is how.
Because every universal structure has me be-dowered.
The ocean holds many highs, ones that are forbidden.
Forbidden as the eyes can see.
But to me, I stare blindly, waiting to breathe.

<Unto the unknown
Unto the breach
Splitting at the seems
The why's
The where's
The how's
Are those my dreams?
Will warmth conceive?
O' come back to me

>Thoust lay beneath, I try to see,
I perceive with the eye of the cat, the mental stamina of a bird.
But lost in the eclipse, there's no looking back.
Pushing forward, I make my move.
Lips on focus, biting them as I inhale the atmospheric scent.

<Mystical indulgence
String of pearls diamond droplet around my neck
Gypsy traveler drifting between each breath
Spirit at the helm
Moon bound
Earth to the ground
Cat lives left
If I fall
Faith will stand again
Wingspan stretched out
Sun set

>Sun so far, it seems so near.
Sun so near, it seems so far.
Breathless, but still in sight, I reach over and feel the delight.
As darkness and pain is madness, so is light and healing.
Everything corresponds together and creates the balance.
But I write, "hello darkness my old friend''
The paper drifts away, as the sun rays hit my face
The string of pearls rest against your neck, as the master of puppets arrive, we soon begin our test.

<Our hearts write the line
Then,
silence.

Operating from another world
Cascaded into psychedelic dreams
Lost in a floating cloud
Robotic
A creature in disguise
I am not human
I am not human
I am a soul
But I am not human
He pulled me in with despair
I feel him
I follow my own path
I am my own being
An outcast
A demon

I want to be that other girl

It shouldn't hurt this much to be your angel.
It shouldn't bleed this much to be your guide.
It shouldn't pain this much to love you.
It shouldn't scar this much to be by your side.

I'm torn between obsession and hate, for the mess that we made.
But, they come, they go, so replaceable.
I can only have you in my dreams, it seems.
Because reality strikes and you leave me in pieces, ripped apart, wounded, my wings, fallen off, I am burning in loathe.

Maybe it's your lips
Maybe it's your eyes
Maybe it's your touch
Maybe it's your little lies

Captivate me in your lustful charm, kiss me down as you mean no harm.
Alarmed, I am the ****** goddess, I'll ride you til' you feel inburdened of your sins, til' you come back for more, til' it's me that you lustfully want to lure.
Your lustful cure... Incurable but desirable, mystical and sensual... My touch will evaporate your being of existence as you will only crave me more... I am your lust drug....
Addictive, Withdrawl.

Satisfy you with my every sensual intention, grasp my breath and give me my deserved attention.

I am a queen, royalty, in vain.
I won't apologise as I quite enjoy it messy...
Spank me hard and **** me...
Our birthday suit...
**** me til' I'm too tired to leave you.
Numb all emotions and get onto my level, it's all about the ***, the drugs, and the life we are livin'...
Faded, gone, no attachments...
Just pure lustful passive aggression.

The flow of systematic beings disintegrate and **** with my own flow sometimes.
Can't seem to get a grip on my mind.
I'm losing myself in lost formalities.
The whole diagrammatic systems falls into closure and creates a case of it's own.
The system is wrong, it doesn't flow with the equilibrium structure of life itself.
It just falls off, and finds a balance of it's own.
It has no real forecast, nor balance, just destruction.
It's chaotic to humankind and it needs strategy of some kind.
It needs appreciation, moral technique, or justification.
The flow of the subconscious is losing itself again in the brainwashing systems, it's locked, it cannot get out, stuck.
This philosophy is somewhat confusing, but it's just a descriptive rant about the brainwashing formula of society itself.
We a part of it, living in the lie, suffocating, trying to find, trying to heal, trying to bind.
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people, the truth that, technology is not needed, love and purity is needed, humanity got so caught up in the wealth, they forgot the essence of true love.  
**** THE SYSTEM

With a shadow creeping behind me, making every promise empty.
Intoxicating my nerves, I am being chased.
Stalking my forecast, I run at ten speed.
No stopping, I turn around to see a shadow so empty, its mere whispers have demolished into misty ash.
It haunts my every being and stalks my rotten prey.
It displeases my humanity and consumes my lost soul.
I run, run so fast, the lights hit bloom.
Scared, fearful of what it can do, I look down, I see the shadow
...
The shadow was you.

The ghost I'm trying to escape, just keeps coming back.
The feeling is poison, but beautiful at the same time.
The feeling is toxic, but fills my void of loss and emptiness.
You're a bad guy, playing with my emotions and unleashing my toxic tears.
Confusing my feelings and handling me like a puppet.
Why do I love you?
Since you're the master of puppets, you've dominated and learnt to control me.
Let me go.
Or I will turn around, and leave.
Leave you empty, till you lose control.

A tense tight aching sensation comes about.
My head throbs of pain as the trip kicks in.
I feel like I'm about to be knocked down as my skull cracks open...
I bleed in vain
Shaking, my body has the shakes
This high doesn't feel normal...
As the drugs kick in, my body weakens.
Mind running everywhere, my thoughts are discreet.
Tripped out and faded, lost in another land.
This land is sinful, dark, morbid, wonderful, and unknown to the eye.
Black...
Gone. ****** in the tunnel of darkness.
I have landed in the pool of flames.
The trip gets real when the psychedelics speak the truth
The drug of choice...
As the bird finally frees itself

The glass on the stone, the peace in her eyes.
The emotion of her soul, and the serenity in her mind.
The way she speaks, of utter conscience.
The way she perceives, of deep imagination.
Holds her words in, and grasps morality.
Holds her tongue, and justifies her thoughts.
An angel, a goddess, of silky wavy locks and intelligence.
She speaks of wisdom, philosophy, greatness.
...
She speaks revolution.

As the full moon uncovers, I rise from my slumber.
The dark sky portrays...
I have awaken within
The dead has risen.
The witches hour hits it's peak.
Goths come alive and demons stalk the empty streets.
Ghosts wonder the dark valleys and haunt the ones that cannot see.
Possess
The dark has no rest.
Hell opens up, the fire begins to leak.
Cracked open roads and monsterous screams...
The souls that cannot speak, search for bodies, as its life that they seek.
Haunting you, pulling you, holding you down
The dead come alive...
Celebrate the tribe
Friday the 13th, a traditional day for the dark, dead and lonely.
Haunt the alive in their misery, and take the souls as they escape.
Creep...
Dark nights and twisted minds
Who knows what the dead will find

Is my cause to live the cause for eternal death?
Is my cause for death my cause for eternal life?
As I have mentioned in my other writings, nothing ever dies.
The physical form diminishes into thin air and rots, and the soul, the spirit, the ghost, takes on a new form.
This bordem got me feelin' weak.
Hearing other peoples thoughts, conversations, am I being tested to immoral justice?
Am I being tested to focus on the subconscious, even though it hurts more than the conscious.
It hurts, to have a gift of such empathy and unconditional love.
I feel 100 knives stab me all at once.
It twists through the knots of my intestines
It rips my skin off and allows my blood to pour
It pulls my heart out and has me aching in misery
BETRAYAL
It's something I've experienced but still experiencing.
It HURTS.
So bad, my mind has me in sorrowful loneliness.
"Cannot trust anybody"
She says a million times, and that voice, that voice is right.
They smile to your face but whisper unwanted words to your back.
The wonder of who's real has me whimpering in weakness.
I have become weak and it is my thoughts to blame.
I fear them...
Nobody to trust but my unwanted pain.

May it only be a dream... composed in one.
Nightmares shaking inside me.
I drown myself so deep, where the water begins to reap.
I love to hold you, to feel you, but who are you?
Where are you?
Why aren’t you here with me?
Why so distant?
Why haven’t I met you?

You don’t exist.

My imagination.
Stringing myself in my realms of pure intensity.
An ocean on fire ...
A war with no winning ...
A person with no belonging ...
A rage with no fist ...

Suppressed, inner rage, inner love, inner hate, inner sadnesses, inner longing, inner numbness, inner cold, inner emptiness.
Inner distractions....

I face them all at once.
Inner wisdom...
An old soul living in a fake world.
Take me out of here.

I understand the dead
I understand the living
I understand the unborn
I understand the other world

I myself is strange and unusual.
I fear life, but not death.
Instead, I embrace death, because living is pure hell.
I scream inside every single day.
My face shows a smile, expressionless, opposite of my soul.
I describe what I feel with words, because I cannot speak, I cannot verbally express how I truly feel.

Demons, are not to be feared.
They do what they do because of emptiness and loneliness.
I wish I were a demon...
The feeling of wanting to possess merely comes about.
I am a soul that feels empty and incomplete.
I am insecure
Demons do what they do because it is the only way they know.
I feel bad for them, as I know how they feel, even if feel, they do not.

We are ghosts living in a skeleton and muscle cell...
So what is there to be afraid of?
Fear the unseen and unknown I do not.
Just because we are seen, why not fear?
Fear the living more than you should fear the non-living.
Humans are destructive and corruptive.
The dead are lonely and indecisive.
Humans destroy, which create envy and hate.
The dead do what they do...
out of insanity and revenge.

My perspective on the beings in the other dimension creates an opinion I want all to see...
Why fear the dead?
When life itself is more scary and strange...