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Alaska Apr 2016
and watch
the sunset

watch the
waves kiss
the shore
blissfully

and listen
to the
crash.

Listen to the
seagulls talking to
one another as
they race on
by.

Enjoy this moment.
Enjoy this moment, right here,
right now.
Alaska Feb 2016
Lately it seems
you're always
in my dreams
and that makes me
never want to sleep
because
I don'want to see you.
I don't want to see you,
even if it's only in my
dreams.
But is it really a
dream or rather
a nightmare?
Alaska Mar 2016
Take me away
from here, from this
place.
Take me far, far,
away.
Take me on an
adventure.
Take me somewhere
we can fall in
love.
Take me somewhere
we could be
happy.
Take me somewhere
we could make
memories.
Alaska Oct 2016
I **** up
anything important
to me.
Is it
because
I'm scared?
I don't
want to
lose you.
I'm sorry
for not
being what
you needed.
Alaska Apr 2016
You* visited my mind today,
I was sad for a moment but then,
happiness crept up on me like a
child's surprise party.

The memories I have of
you are warm,
I'm done thinking of
you as a burden.

You can't make me sad anymore,
you're gone and frankly,
I don't want
you**
back.
Alaska Jul 2016
and asked me what movie
I was watching.

I was lucky.

That's the most he has
spoken to me in weeks.
Alaska Feb 2016
Time to
move on
its been
too long.
Four years
is enough.
My heart
can't take
the pain
anymore.
It's over.
Alaska Feb 2016
I'm extremely
happy to have
learned how to
keep my head
high and keep
looking forward
rather than
looking behind
me and seeing
your face
which is
far gone in
the past.
Alaska Feb 2016
At one point
in my life
you were
the only
one I truly
trusted but,
now you are
the last one
I would ever
trust or even
utter a single
word to.
Alaska Mar 2016
I do the
things I do
because it's nice
to feel wanted
for once in
my life,
even if it
is just for
a short time.
Alaska Apr 2016
What I feel
will fade

at least I
hope.
Alaska Apr 2017
I wanted to hear your voice so bad,
because even though it's been over
a year since I've heard it,
I've completely forgotten
it.
I can still picture the way you
smiled though....
I always loved your smile,
how wide you would grin,
the way your dimples
would peek through your cheeks,
I adored everything about
it.
And your laughter was a whole
other story...
I could always tell you
were truly happy when
you laughed,
it was so pure.
--
I'll keep the pieces I remember
locked in the catacombs of my
memory,
for I smile every time I come
across an old one;
tears do follow but only because
even though you're not on my
mind much,
I still miss you and the good memories,
so it's time to finally throw out
the bad ones.
Alaska Sep 2017
Don't pick me flowers from a garden,
give me seeds to plant my own.
Alaska Mar 2017
I can't feel bad for you,
this is your own fault,
you let this happen.
You never wanted to
change your life
for the better,
and now here
you are,
unhappy
and alone.
Alaska Mar 2017
We are all our own puzzle
piece
connecting to
one another's life.
Alaska Mar 2017
You find out who people really are
when it comes down to those
important moments....

I never realized how much you
did not care.
Alaska Mar 2017
I hope you find who you are
                            what you are looking for
                            your happiness
                    and true love.
Alaska Sep 2017
It's okay to ask for help
       it is more than okay
you are not weak
       you are strong.
Alaska Jun 2016
I've loved only one
in my eighteen years
and stopped myself before
I could love another.

I grew up without
love, not knowing what
it felt like to
be loved or to
love someone else.

But now, I  know
what love is after
I've seen and experienced
it.

Except when I fell
in love, it was
only me who fell..

And I don't plan
on falling again unless
I know I will
be caught.
Alaska Dec 2017
It all makes sense now...
Why I have so many issues
with love...and being loved...
With men...and attention from them...
The past has been brought up a lot lately..
And it's driving me insane that...
I might just crash.
Alaska Oct 2016
You can't get rid of me that
easily,
you can push all you want,
but
I'll still be here,
I may just
decide to give you
your space,
but
I'll come back, don't worry
you're stuck
with me.
Alaska Apr 2017
tempted to hit you up just so you can make
my emotions go
numb again.
Alaska Apr 2016
I'll never forget the time
you laughed at me
when I told you I was
stupid for scratching at my face viciously,

leaving me with a scab
under the bags of my right eye.

I stood there crying as you laughed.

Who knew that would be
the start of my anxiety attacks.
Alaska Feb 2016
Am I pushing
you away?
I can't tell if
I am.
If i was,
would you tell
me?
I don't mean to.
If I do, maybe
it's because  I
already know
you're going to
leave me like
everyone else.
So I guess I just
make it happen
sooner.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather hurt
now then later
I guess.
Alaska Sep 2017
I often catch myself
worrying about me
                  that's how you know
                             I must be
                             ****** up.
It's okay though,
                 i'll be fine..
one day.
Alaska Jan 2019
You love outer space
And all of its wonders..
If only you loved me as
much as you love the stars..
Alaska Apr 2018
I do not think I have ever felt this alone
since middle school...
And that is also when I was in my darkest place..
which is what scares me the most.
Alaska Mar 2017
I wanted to text you
to see how you are
because being who I am,
I always care,
but I know if I do so
I'll fall back down that
hole of trying to be in
your life again.
Alaska Apr 2016
The parts of me that you broke
are all mended,
but the parts from my past,
don't seem like they're
going to mend together
again.
Alaska Sep 2017
You hurt me,
                     I forgive,
you hurt me,
                     I forgive,
you hurt me,
                     I forgive,
you hurt me,
                     .....
Alaska Mar 2017
I
think you
found love once,
but
you let her
go.
Alaska Apr 2016
I may find it beautiful but,
you may find it unusual.
Alaska Apr 2016
I'm dipping into my past pain
to distract myself from today's pain.
Alaska Oct 2016
You do not need to be with
someone to be happy.
You may want to be with
someone, but you do
not need to be.
Love yourself first,
please....
Alaska May 2016
Your voice is a drug
that I can't get enough of.

--

Your voice is a drug
and I'm addicted.
Alaska Oct 2016
Have you ever
just looked at
people in a
bookstore?
Not judging
them, just
looking,
and seeing
all the different
people buying
different books.
You don't have
to look a certain
way to read or
purchase a book.
You don't have
to look a certain
way in order to read
a certain genre,
just look like
you.
Alaska Oct 2016
It takes 5 seconds to take a leap of faith and be fearless.
And then those 5 seconds change your outlook on life forever.
Alaska Jun 2016
You built me up in the beginning, just to put me down in the end.

I was insecure,
you saw that,
you knew
that.

You complimented me,
building me up,
making my
confidence flourish,
you helped me
feel beautiful.

Then came the
lust and I
became insecure
once again.

I thought in
order to be
beautiful for you,
I had to please you.

I was insecure,
but to the point where
I would stop and
not go further.

I knew what you
liked already,
I didn't want to do
something else where
maybe you didn't
like what you saw
and
you weren't pleased.
Alaska Mar 2016
"What do you wanna do?"*
I just want to sit with
you
in bath robes,
as we drink wine,
talk about life
and draw ugly
portraits of
each other.
Alaska Aug 2016
I'm such an embarrassment.
No one wants to be with me,
because clearly I'm not pretty
enough, thin enough, or good
enough for anyone.
Thanks for making me feel this way,
but don't worry, I'll get it over it, and
prove you wrong.
Alaska Mar 2017
It just hurts because you made me
feel like I did not matter and
what I said was nothing but
words that had no meaning.
Alaska Apr 2016
She whispered,
"I love you"

as he stared
off into the
distance

"Did you say
something?"

He turned
his head
towards hers.

"No."
"say I love you, when you're not listening."
Alaska Jul 2016
I know I'm not the prettiest flower in the garden, but you don't have to constantly remind me.
Alaska Apr 2016
I hate the way
my voice sounds,
because sometimes
it comes off loud and
sometimes I give an attitude
when I honestly do not mean to.

But no one believes me.

I was raised in loudness.
Constant yelling, screaming , shouting , and rudeness.

I am coated with hatred.

Nothing calm, sweet and nice to be found, not even in the corners of my home.

I'm sorry.
I'm truly kind and caring,
only somewhat broken,
I promise.
Alaska Feb 2016
You knew I was
innocent.
You saw it as an
opportunity to
use me.
You thought I
was easy, so
it didn't matter
if you hurt me.
You knew I had
feelings for you,
so you used that
to your
advantage.
All I wanted
was to be with you,
but all you wanted
was my body...
Alaska May 2016
I want to learn
script, so maybe
I can feel as pretty
as my handwriting.
Alaska Apr 2016
The new trend
Seems to be
Falling in love
With your best friend.
Alaska Feb 2016
Why had she
kept trying...?
Was the question
she was constantly
asked.
She always laughed
and shook her head.
The answer was
obvious she thought.
You don't just give
up on the one you
love that easily...
because you're
still holding
onto the hope
that one day
they will
love you
again.
Alaska Mar 2016
Don't *******                                I didn't                           Not wanting
look at                                            realize it                         to let
me.                                                 was you                          you control
                                                        t­ill I                                 my emotions
It's been                                         passed your                   anymore.
five months                                   rolled down
since you've                                  window.                  ­       Only I
broken me                                                               ­               can control
once again.                                    And you                         my emtions
                                                        a­lready knew
Five months                                  it was                               incompetent *******
since I've                                        me                   ­                 like you
seen your                                                             ­                   don't,
lying face.                                     staring me                        not anymore.
                                                       directly in
I thought                                       the face.
it was
going so                                         That's when
well                                                 anxiety  crept
                                                  ­       up on
but you                                           me once
ruined my                                      again
streak
            ­                                              oh but
five months                                     don't forget
down the                                         the anger
drain.                                               and sadness
                                                         that followed.
I saw                                              
you at                                              I wanted
the place                                         to scream,
where i                                            but I
least expected.                               held it
                                                         all back.
Alaska Apr 2016
Maybe when I'm
Drunk and vulnerable
I'll confess it all.

Like how I love you
And the way you smile
When you tell me about
A good day you've had.

Or how I could never
Tell you I'm in love  
With you sober

Because I know you don't
Feel the same and I
Can't bare to take the pain.
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