All I do
is care
about those
who could
care less
about me
and
I guess
that is
okay.

When I care about someone
I give them my all,
every piece of me,
including the ones that are already
broken.
And I am still trying to
figure out if that's
a good
or
bad thing.

I'm in love
with you

and I don't
want to be

this has happened
before

I can't be
in love with
you because you're
not in love
with me.

And that's okay!
You are not
required to be.

But it's not
good for me,
mentally

to want something
more with someone
I can't have.

*God, please give me the strength to not hold onto these feelings.

I wanted to hear your voice so bad,
because even though it's been over
a year since I've heard it,
I've completely forgotten
it.
I can still picture the way you
smiled though....
I always loved your smile,
how wide you would grin,
the way your dimples
would peek through your cheeks,
I adored everything about
it.
And your laughter was a whole
other story...
I could always tell you
were truly happy when
you laughed,
it was so pure.
--
I'll keep the pieces I remember
locked in the catacombs of my
memory,
for I smile every time I come
across an old one;
tears do follow but only because
even though you're not on my
mind much,
I still miss you and the good memories,
so it's time to finally throw out
the bad ones.

I can't feel bad for you,
this is your own fault,
you let this happen.
You never wanted to
change your life
for the better,
and now here
you are,
unhappy
and alone.

I've loved only one
in my eighteen years
and stopped myself before
I could love another.

I grew up without
love, not knowing what
it felt like to
be loved or to
love someone else.

But now, I  know
what love is after
I've seen and experienced
it.

Except when I fell
in love, it was
only me who fell..

And I don't plan
on falling again unless
I know I will
be caught.

You can't get rid of me that
easily,
you can push all you want,
but
I'll still be here,
I may just
decide to give you
your space,
but
I'll come back, don't worry
you're stuck
with me.

Am I pushing
you away?
I can't tell if
I am.
If i was,
would you tell
me?
I don't mean to.
If I do, maybe
it's because  I
already know
you're going to
leave me like
everyone else.
So I guess I just
make it happen
sooner.
I'm sorry.
I'd rather hurt
now then later
I guess.

I wanted to text you
to see how you are
because being who I am,
I always care,
but I know if I do so
I'll fall back down that
hole of trying to be in
your life again.

The parts of me that you broke
are all mended,
but the parts from my past,
don't seem like they're
going to mend together
again.

You do not need to be with
someone to be happy.
You may want to be with
someone, but you do
not need to be.
Love yourself first,
please....

You built me up in the beginning, just to put me down in the end.

I was insecure,
you saw that,
you knew
that.

You complimented me,
building me up,
making my
confidence flourish,
you helped me
feel beautiful.

Then came the
lust and I
became insecure
once again.

I thought in
order to be
beautiful for you,
I had to please you.

I was insecure,
but to the point where
I would stop and
not go further.

I knew what you
liked already,
I didn't want to do
something else where
maybe you didn't
like what you saw
and
you weren't pleased.

being replaced is probably
one of the most
heartbreaking feelings
in the book.

Follow me...
Let's get
lost but,
find ourselves
at the
same time.
Let's discover
each other,
who we
really are.
I wanna
know who
you really
are, not
who you
pretend to
be.

You are not
worthless.
You are worth
more than all
the stars in
the sky,
More than all
the waves that
kiss the shore,
More than all
the birds that
fly the skies,
More than all
the clouds that
float on by,
More than all
the wishes dreamers
make upon dandelions.
You are worth
something.