My bottom blossoms
When I sit atop the
Bed and fine red lines
Run down its sides.
If this is the marking
Of a budding woman,
Then let me proudly
Display my vines.

Is it acting
or adapting?
smiling for the show
of customers:
bright, dapper,
cheery and proud -
pushing product
with a knowing smile,
words animated,
confident and collected.
once they leave i sit and
ponder, I see the stars
in their films and admire
from afar, lamenting that I
cannot act - but can I?

Girl,
You’ll be a woman
Soon, so start
Straightening your hair
So it’s smooth and shiny
And cake on your cumbersome
Concealer because
Acne is for boys.
Browse bras in Victoria’s Secret
The ones with plentiful padding,
Push-up, so your cleavage
Screams: “I am a grown lady”
Even though you’re only thirteen.
Trade your sweats for slimming
Jeans that squeeze, skin-tight
Telling you to take a trot to trim
Your waist because you weigh
More than a delicate number.

Irreplaceable you,
Drifting into my world
With so little a care
As the heat of the evening
Turned into a sordid affair

Irreplaceable you,
Riding me gently, tamer
Of heavy waves
Tangled together in shadows --
For you, I’ll always misbehave

Irreplaceable you,
Slipping from my grasp
And into another’s  --
Trembling toward your kiss
Tell me I’m your only lover

Irreplaceable you,
But replaceable me
Left to wilt at the shoreline
While you sailed off to sea.

Little girl with wide blue eyes
Dreams as boundless as the skies
Surrounded by dust and dead ends
Waltzing in a land of make pretend

Freckled, fervent and coy
Twirling past the neighbor boys
When she moves, she slips away
Lost in a smile and a happy place

Left to wander the desert dry
Alone and forgotten no matter what she tries
Looking for affection in an empty well
Fading echoes of forgotten church bells

With her reveries she swiftly dropped
A leap of faith and the whole world stopped
Warm blood and dampened grass,
A mangled foot and a binding cast

In dark days she prayed for help
Wanting to step and perform
Not ready to give up her last chance
To take the stage by way of dance

Ten years later, she's swaying
and twice as stunning as before
Sculpted cheekbones and brooding eyes
Grabbing audiences by surprise

She's reborn a star of the movies,
With a new name and tiny waist
Pretty young flapper with a striking face
The little girl has finally found her place

How distasteful you are,
With your sundry splotches
and jarring imperfections.
Oh, you taunt me so!
Whether your anathemas
are reflected through the mirror or my own eyes.
Oh horrible, hateful, heinous thing!
I cannot bear to stare any longer.
How sickly your color is--
A pallid yellow, like one giant bruise
That has budded and blossomed
In some unnaturally grotesque fashion.
My blood boils, my pulse races
And I raise my weapons to fight--
Two talons--claws honed to perfection.
Be gone, you wretched scab!
And so I tear, scratching furiously,
Until no more of you is left.
The blood is stuck beneath my fingertips,
Or what is left of them.
My sinews tremble, ****** and bare,
As the last of my wallpaper
Is ripped from my bones.

Darling, dearest,
Come out of the dark,
And into my heart
The sun has set,
The crowds are gone,
No longer I ought to pretend
That you’re only just a friend

Children, gather round
Your second parent calls
A simple box
Wooden and metal
A face of glass
Adorned with two knobs
Take your seats
And take off your shoes--naughty!
Elbows off the table
Legs crossed, hands clasped
Black and white
Levittown
Like your mary janes and stockings
Your president birthed
And mourned
Mother’s in the kitchen
The window outside your little world
Is black and red but not white
Malcolm X, and all the rest
Standing up for their territory
Little girl, the country’s changing
Pick your daisy
We’re not crazy
The bombs come closer every day
Haven’t you seen Castro
And our fiascos by the bay?
Great Society
Social Security
Aid for the old and poor
Dinner’s ready
Mother’s specialty
Credibility on a plate
Crudely disguised
Plastic, fantastic, and uniform
Yet your mind is so hungry
That you eat it all the same
And give it no thought
The window’s widening
Its light reflected
On that glowing omniscient face
Color! Color!
Bright and vivid
Dancing at your fingertips
Brother’s gone off to Nam
Off with your skirts, your stockings,
Your mary janes,
And that awful ribbon in your hair
Burning dope
The rainbow bathes you
In its splendid glory
The birds in the sky
Like rolling thunder
Hawks tearing at the doves
****** falling to the trees
Agent Orange
Fire, death, destruction
Where’s your meal now?
Johnson stumbled,
Faith has crumbled
And so have the foundations
Of your enclosed walls
Bobby’s groovy--
No--he’s gone
And King’s dream
Escaped with his last breath
White rabbit,
Gentle rabbit
Sing your peace
The country’s ablaze
At home and away
Stand your ground
Chicago, Ohio
Each one’s a battlefield
Time for dessert--
Licking lollipops
LSD
Clear your plates
For a second course

Self appointed prophet
Putting forth prayers and
Pamphlets as you tear
The room asunder --

No regard for mortals,
But you brush it off with
A smile so sweet, a touch
Of the arm and divine influence --
After all, it’s your duty

Hands raise in the air,
You plead us to join you,
To save our souls and
Get redemption in turn
For a half-hearted prayer

If searching souls and
Turning them pure is your
Mission, then dear Susan,
You need to face the mirror
To truly find God

why do i always want
the wanton, the wicked?
when my mind wanders
it’s always a bad place

Sadie, of satin
Sables who dances the swing
Pretty little thing

bone against skin
jutting out, thin --
i want a gaunt glow
where my cheekbones show
without contour

if running from my issues
keeps me trim,
and tiny meals
make me slim
i’ll keep grinding until
my hip bones pop --
and when i’m dead is when i’ll stop

Can I be your late time lover,
Part time darling in dark skies?
Would you call me pretty, my love,
Could I be your favorite surprise?
I’ll gladly be forever yours even if
You can’t be anything of mine,
By day I’ll be a face in your crowd,
At night our lips shall entwine

I am a mermaid but you can’t see it
I have no fins but I gleam and glisten
Under streams and showerheads
My skin glows, it’s soft to the touch
Caressed by the water
Oh so shiny and slippery
against the light
I’m usually granted no such embrace
For only water kisses the skin and holds the soul --
Air, so light and plentiful, is but the touch of a finger
I am greater than what I seem
I traverse rough seas
I captivate, I navigate
In the porcelain tub
And I am a mermaid -- but you can’t see it

We wrestled once,
through tangled sheets
You on top, I beneath
Leading lady and her little sheep

Late into the night we stayed
Secret sapphics stowed away
When daybreak hit and eyes could see
Our heat rolled off with the tumbleweeds

We were bonded in birth
As we will be in death
I sealed our fate with a gun --

I took your wardrobe
and buried my past
in your grave --
Made a sacrifice so
I could have another
Chance at life
Struck you silent so I
Could ****** your voice,
Felt no sorrow
When pondering my choice

I laid my debts to rest
With all the ills I faced
Revenge is sweet and
Triumph better -- perhaps
Because I was so bitter

I stole your name
your mansion too: but was it
Really stealing, my dearest love,
When the whole time I was you?

Crowd’s a buzzin’
But it’s just you and me
Nobody knows us,
It’s easy to be

A name to a face,
You’re still just a 'who'
But put us together,
And see? That makes two

Powder room princess,
In veils of smoke
Rugged old gangster,
We’re sharing a ****

Onto the floor,
A dance and a sway
Silly and sultry,
We’re flying away

Made it back home,
To finish the night
Music is playing,
You slip out of sight

Hand grazes powder
A most wonderful find
Nose-deep in snow -- Help!
I think I’m going blind.

Violent clangs echo
From the TV,
And the Bride is a
Vengeful gazelle,
Galloping forth and
eviscerating the
ones who stand in
her path to---

        “**** Bill again?
                 Is that all you do when I’m gone? Snort
         Coke, get high, lounge back
         And watch this ******* ****?”

The cigarette burns hot in her fingers,
Smoke sighing from her lungs and
She smiles silently. Plum lips pucker
And one hand beckons him forth,
the other raising a silent finger.

Skin tight yellow and black
Hugs her curves and she
triumphs, golden goddess
Reclaiming herself in a
Blazen trail of ******
Revenge.

      “Come on, I’ve been gone and now
        I’m here. I’ve missed ******* you
       And hearing your pretty little moans.”

Ashes on her pant leg, feet flex and
She rises up, eyes fixed on the screen.
Cat eyes smirk and she takes his hand,
Dark bob razor sharp as she dreams
About the day she’ll wield the katana.

you make me hate me
reject me, dejected me,
a piece of you that is
sadly me, i am me and
you hate me

Rainy days make
your joints
And my heart
ache
Grisly greys, dampened dirt,
The scent of earth
Rich with grief and
consternation

I taste the mist and
Feel amiss, shivering in
Showers, a wilted
Flower,
Salty tears and fears
Masked by downpours
That drip and drown my
Burning humiliation

Cameras flashing in rapid succession
She’s reunited with the lights,
Descending from heavens above
She throws herself to the wolves
Wrestling crowds and wrist cuffs,
Drowning in the spotlight
As she’d always dreamed

Fame seemed just out of reach --
Across the bay, mere miles away
Her senses privy to the charm,
Head brimming with alarm
For she knew she’d never
Make it through
(But why stop dreaming?)

Charming vagabond with a smile so sweet
Sweeps her suitors off their feet
With a twirl of her skirt and a flash of her thigh,
She’s climbing the ladder, wooing lovers to the skies

I found God
In the gaze of my lover
As we lay still on the water
In the stupor of fear

I found God
When I fled alone to discover
I was trapped with no other
Until he appeared

I found God
In my haggard reflection,
Torn dress by the ocean
Wondering if I was in the clear

I found God
Watching lost men die free,
Succumbing to clarity
Thinking my time was near

I found God
When I lost all hope
My heart was breaking on the waves
And I didn't know how to steer

I found God
In a longing embrace
Finally feeling in my place
Knowing our time was now and here

You never missed a mark
Firing right for my heart
Sent the bullet rippling through
My flesh and left me gaping

Whole, i thought i was before
You came along, taking aim
With your charming darts
Darling, I’m ****** I missed you
When I shot up high

Five thousand miles
Wandering the desert dry
Yearning for purpose
For some venerable way to die

Grinning gal with silver dollar eyes
Head lost in endless reveries
Searching for a way out
Blonde hair rustling in the breeze

Two paths entwine
Haphazardly passing by
Sore souls searching
Answering each other’s cry

Talking for hours,
He ignores her every plea
Mere inches between them
Each one the other’s tease

Through smoke and gunfire,
She grabs him tight
He’s gunning for the end
To go gently with the night

She’s soft and smells like rose petals
Yet she scratches and scrubs
At blood red skin even though
It’s been washed a million times before
Tired eyes meet their match
In the silvery visage of their oldest friend

Crimson lips part, then furl
At the reflection who’s no longer a youthful girl
Auburn hair tumbling out of place,
Aging actress falling far from grace,
One clenched fist in a lace white glove
Eyelids dripping as she screams above

touch me gently through the screen,
grab me fiercely in my dreams,
take me up into your arms and
twirl me into a land of make believe
tell me tender love is true
in our tiny world just fit for two
timeless beauty,
how I weep, for we’re apart
till I find sleep
how I pine throughout the day
to commit to slumber and
hide away

Open your eye to the
Misty dark sea,
Brimming with unexplored
Mystery and washing ashore
dead carcasses, sometimes
crab shells sometimes corpses.
Still the people flow in,
Out, in, out, until one day
they’re swallowed and all
that’s left is the
spitting sea foam.

Tears and tequila sloshing in her stomach
She’s a turbulent maelstrom, violently
Pulling and pushing people in and out
Of her suffocating grasp

The ocean calls out to her, whispering
“We are one of the same;"
Tugging and strumming the strings of her heart
As they wail to the violins

Shattered glass and swirling gales
Lure her to moon white sands
Her body moves unconsciously,
Gliding smoothly toward the tides

The waves crash at her feet and
She is salt water -- the teasing temptress,
Singing siren, luring men to certain death,
Spitting limp bodies back to shore like seaweed

Foggy eyes drip brine into the ocean
Essence fading with each step forward
Shallow waters embrace and murmur
“Welcome home,” her last moments
Preserved in the crashing sea foam

It was I who dealt our hand
Not fate, as you would have it
You didn’t fix me in this chair
I sit resigned to sulk and stare
Sister, sister, won’t you listen?
Close your eyes with open ears
Please let go of these falsified fears
All this time and it was I,
Please now, listen, don’t you cry,
I was driving on that night,
Foot on gas and headlights bright,
I slammed into the metal gate
It was you who quickly ran away
Pinned for crime as I’d pinned my legs
Sister, darling, I’ve held regret
But now I’ve spoken, breathing yet
Our sorrows drowned in the ocean waves
You smile and dance as my story ends, asking
“All this time, we could have been friends?”

Zooming fast
Zipping and
Ripping through
Brain matter

Negative neurons
Infiltrate and invade
Irrationally made
Usurp what’s real
It’s all surreal
In the most ****** up
Of ways

Meticulously maintaining
Impossibly feigned nonchalance,
Toying the cigarette ever so slightly
In her fingers -- careful so not
To appear as too calculated

The pariahs parade the dancefloor,
Shades of ignominy culminating in a
Prismatic rainbow, heightened by
The stale odor of ***** and body heat

Still, she stays in her perch like a silent sphynx
Waiting -- watching --
Aimlessly, but with direction, such
Carefree flamboyance below her,
A stoop to which she’d never deign

And so she watches, resigned
To fate, as much a fixture in the joint
As the gilded barstools --
The closest she can come to confronting
The fact that she is no different
Than any of the rest

Stomach plummets --
Cold blooded fear
Expressionless eyes
Open wide, mechanical
Blinking -- quit thinking
Go about your business
Don’t even nod
One foot and the other
In a perfunctory march
A slip and it’s over
They’ll turn and then stare
Raise up a finger,
Eyes bugging, mouth hanging
Expectantly before it comes:
Loud distorted ringing
The sound of your demise

You think you never
Cut the ******
Umbilical cord,
That i’m one hundred
And fifty pounds of
Walking baggage
That belongs to you.

I’m just your grown-up,
Beat up barbie doll,
With the limbs loose
And skin scarred:
A breathing toy.

You invalidate me
So you can have a
Perpetual platform,
A pedestal tarnished
By the scuffs of your
Dagger heels.

My lady is a marble statue, standing tall and aloof in the doorway as she gazes upon me. Her skin is cool porcelain, smooth and pale against painted cherry lips. She’s straight out of Pulp Fiction -- Mia Wallace brought to life with blunt, dark bangs and piercing blue eyes. And though she is a woman of glaciers and not embers, her presence radiates just enough warmth for me to feed off of. I come back to her – she is home.
I can feel her watching as I sit on the couch, legs curled beneath me. A slight turn of my head and our gazes meet -- mine eager, longing, like a child, and hers a latent affection veiled beneath sly satisfaction. My heart swells with desire as I look her over. She is lovely, and she knows it. I am the chosen one, and she tells me through a ghost of a toothless smile that lasts for but a second. One slender hand brushes against the frame of the door, and elegant fingers beckon me forth. I rise.
There’s a seemingly perpetual distance between us until nightfall, where she takes me up into her arms and sweeps me to the bedroom. It is only then that she is affectionate – but it is more than enough to make me happy. For she is an exquisite treasure, a rare delicacy that is sweeter when kept out of reach.
Cruel and cold as she may seem, she’s different when we’re lying together beneath the covers. I am hers. She tells me through soft caresses and occasional kisses, slender arms pulling me in as we rest in silence. It is a simple life and carefree existence, and I relish it greatly.

Broken vessel,
Stalwart beauty
A work of art
Standing alone and bereft

How many voyages
Has she failed to complete?
Starting off so strong,
Only to taste defeat?

Young bright thing
With inexplicable rust
Something broken,
Something bad
A faulty error, a fatal bust

Salt water tears,
So bittersweet
Knowing her cargo
She cannot keep

Turning back for shore
On her final try
Fighting her hardest
Not to cry

In a black sea
Of mourning bodies
I stand quietly in
Pale chiffon. My
Heart is dark and
Lonely, cloaked in
Sorrow as I bid thee
Time goodbye

For years I’ve seen
You suffer, lose your
Life and luster with
Each passing breath,
Our love was once
A blooming garden,
Bright and lovely
Before it succumbed to death

Blinded by the ring
Of a gunshot, deafening
Silence swamps her life.

Give me
black or white
All or none
Ten or zero
Misery or fun
Two stark divides
Are where i hide
No shades between
No grey
Or chrome
**** the blurs and the
Unknown-- label me
silly
Brand me, defined
Legitimate, warranted
A definite side

Two camps, divided;
On which one will I stay?
Little did I know
The road I took
Would **** me someday

a courtesy conditioned,
disingenuous inquisition
societal reflexes true and
queued because they don't
******* care

i am hungry and
always wanting to have ***;
i read and feel
i breathe and know
two favorites, one here &
one there, both appetizing
sticky sweet spoons, but
only one allows me to
indulge and say,
Mm.

Two sighs and we capsize
Into shallow water beneath our thighs
Tossing, turning, tangled limbs
Your parted mouth and passionate cries

Honeysuckle queen
Charming, stinging, so serene
Royal subject I will be
Your venomous kiss
For which I plea

You’ve landed in my mind,
Meteor crashing into plain
Sight without any given
Warning - little did I expect
To find a crater in my heart
And a drive to fill the aching
Void

Your voice soft and dreamy,
Immortalized by memory:
The way words and truths
Roll off your tongue,
Cryptic creature, where
Are you from?

Where is your world,
What’s it like? I
Want to know,
But cannot go -
Why’s it that you
Captivate me so?

Dying dreams exchanged for
Fairy dust and a doting Daddy,
Dollars, drive-bys, euphoric highs:
Glassy eyes and a hazy mind
Just hellos - no goodbyes

No lies of stardom and
Starving on the street for a
Script or a role that never *******
Followed through, none of that,
No work, only play.

Days wasted are over
And sitting pretty is easy
When there’s coke and
Crime and corruption
But you’re still the rose

Growing in the play-pen,
It’s lonely when they go
The house is all to know,
Porcelain doll with her
Nose so white: do you ever
dream of flight?

From rags to riches
With no in-between
How’s a girl to live
When true love’s yet to be seen?

Click, hum. The phone line dies,
The ghost of rejection tickling one
Ear as it floats across the other. Her
Breath goes with it, a short exhale
Of frustration and grief.

The room is now silent, save for the
Shallow breaths of the aging dame
Grey mascara rivers running down
Thin crevices, inexorable lines of
An inevitable future. No makeup
So fine and polished can mask: she’s fallen
Victim to the times, pushing and straining
As far as the limits of her youth will allow

Cold remnants of an untouched meal
Watch from the corner, stale, unwanted
collecting dust and fleas,
Waiting to be disposed of, bound to be forgotten.
She pauses, blinks. The pit of her stomach
Grumbles in understanding -- two hands
Jump to grasp a cinched waist.
Open bourbon, brought in anticipation of good news
Teases:  no cheers for the old hag!

A fist and a table, an empty glass soon
Filled as she pours herself a bitter dose
Of panacea, just a little something to take
The edge of her face, to knock off a few years and
Quiet the pain.

Fifty and forgotten, candle in the wind
A name that once drew the largest of crowds,
Full theatres and a demand in the public eye,
Now brings nonchalance, indifference, or
Worse -- ignorance! Who?

The young starlings, bright, eager doe-eyed
Little things: they are the new pull, the desired
Flavor and choice eye candy. She trembles, but
Blames the alcohol: after all, it whispers,
*Who wants to look at you?

Blue meet grey
In the brief flash
Of a mutual gaze
Before eyes fall back
To the littered ground
Hands clasped tight
Toes are twitching
Man and girl
Sitting in careful, practiced non-existence.