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Nora Sep 2018
The words won't spill,
Even though I'm overflowing
Mounting pressure with no reprieve
So many things that need to come out
But instead they fill me until I can't speak
Nora Feb 2017
Twenty years and the birth of sound
Laid your name to rest
Forgotten and forlorn,
An artifact of years past

Supernova collapsed into itself,
Swallowing time and temperament
Perpetuating the past in an
Isolated pull of gravity

Your fame is facade
Consuming, convincing
An actress in her greatest role yet
Maintaining character until the day
You’re taken away
Nora Mar 2016
Everybody has somebody
And I have nobody
Welcome to twenty -
It’s awfully lonely.
“Friends first” has fallen
To lovers, and Friday
nights are spent working,
wondering, and wrestling
Self-doubt and pity.
Welcome to twenty -
It’s especially ******.
Nora Mar 2017
It was I who dealt our hand
Not fate, as you would have it
You didn’t fix me in this chair
I sit resigned to sulk and stare
Sister, sister, won’t you listen?
Close your eyes with open ears
Please let go of these falsified fears
All this time and it was I,
Please now, listen, don’t you cry,
I was driving on that night,
Foot on gas and headlights bright,
I slammed into the metal gate
It was you who quickly ran away
Pinned for crime as I’d pinned my legs
Sister, darling, I’ve held regret
But now I’ve spoken, breathing yet
Our sorrows drowned in the ocean waves
You smile and dance as my story ends, asking
“All this time, we could have been friends?”
insp. by Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)
Nora Mar 2017
Little girl with wide blue eyes
Dreams as boundless as the skies
Surrounded by dust and dead ends
Waltzing in a land of make pretend

Freckled, fervent and coy
Twirling past the neighbor boys
When she moves, she slips away
Lost in a smile and a happy place

Left to wander the desert dry
Alone and forgotten no matter what she tries
Looking for affection in an empty well
Fading echoes of forgotten church bells

With her reveries she swiftly dropped
A leap of faith and the whole world stopped
Warm blood and dampened grass,
A mangled foot and a binding cast

In dark days she prayed for help
Wanting to step and perform
Not ready to give up her last chance
To take the stage by way of dance

Ten years later, she's swaying
and twice as stunning as before
Sculpted cheekbones and brooding eyes
Grabbing audiences by surprise

She's reborn a star of the movies,
With a new name and tiny waist
Pretty young flapper with a striking face
The little girl has finally found her place
Happy birthday, Joan Crawford (1906-1977). You are sorely missed and your legacy continues to live on. <3
Nora May 2016
I’m bigger, but better
In all senses of the word
My old clothes,
Tight, taut, too tiny,
Abandoned for I have
Outgrown them
growing both physically and spiritually as I continue to conquer my eating disorder. Lots of love to those who are fighting as I am!
Nora Apr 2017
I’ve climbed the wall
Been up high,
Basked in twinkling lights
Told the past goodbye
Trapped in a corner
For so long, a passive
Doormat for you to come
And stomp your shoes on
In hopes that one day
It’d be me who once more
Swept you off your feet but
I have risen, I have seen
That life goes on, that
I could grow and change
And yes, my darling, it’s true --
I no longer desire
To be married to you.
Go and turn around now:
The door is open --
I’m telling you goodbye.
Inspired by East Side, West Side (1949)
Nora Feb 2016
I’ve always been drawn
To the artists,
The new greats,
The aesthetes,
The painters,
The writers and the
Ones who dress
Like they’re out of
A low budget
Film from the 90s -
Chic, noir, vintage,
And just so strikingly
Unique. But I am not
Like them, and they
Do not like me - I
Am weird and aloof,
Sloppy and silly,
Withdrawn and witty,
Sporadic in art and
Thought. A nomad
Of culture and crowds,
Too deviant for them:
Au revoir.
Nora Sep 2016
My heart is ripping
Thin-skinned, hot flesh
Echo chamber shaking
With an isolated wail

Blurry vision stumbling
Over bodies and buildings
It’s all the same;
I testify to all

Relent, repent
Breathe -- beat -- bruise
Boxed, stop. You’re in control--
Regress, repeat
Hurt -- maim -- abuse
A wheeze, help. One silent cry

Exercise and
Exorcise but all the noises’
The same, stubborn stones
Wrecking back and forth
Fist hammers pounding your brain
Nora Mar 2017
Blinded by the ring
Of a gunshot, deafening
Silence swamps her life.
one of many poems insp. by chinatown (1974)
Nora Mar 2016
Dying dreams exchanged for
Fairy dust and a doting Daddy,
Dollars, drive-bys, euphoric highs:
Glassy eyes and a hazy mind
Just hellos - no goodbyes

No lies of stardom and
Starving on the street for a
Script or a role that never *******
Followed through, none of that,
No work, only play.

Days wasted are over
And sitting pretty is easy
When there’s coke and
Crime and corruption
But you’re still the rose

Growing in the play-pen,
It’s lonely when they go
The house is all to know,
Porcelain doll with her
Nose so white: do you ever
dream of flight?
Guess the muse.
Nora Jul 2016
Tired, ironic and
Flatly stating
Jests about
Cyanide, suicide,
Joining laughter
To subside and
Normalize pain
Or rather,
Try to --
The joke’s on them
I still want to die
Nora Aug 2016
Give me
black or white
All or none
Ten or zero
Misery or fun
Two stark divides
Are where i hide
No shades between
No grey
Or chrome
**** the blurs and the
Unknown-- label me
Brand me, defined
Legitimate, warranted
A definite side
Nora Apr 2017
Two camps, divided;
On which one will I stay?
Little did I know
The road I took
Would **** me someday
inspired by Humoresque (1946)
Nora Jan 2017
She’s soft and smells like rose petals
Yet she scratches and scrubs
At blood red skin even though
It’s been washed a million times before
Tired eyes meet their match
In the silvery visage of their oldest friend

Crimson lips part, then furl
At the reflection who’s no longer a youthful girl
Auburn hair tumbling out of place,
Aging actress falling far from grace,
One clenched fist in a lace white glove
Eyelids dripping as she screams above
insp. by joan crawford
Nora Mar 2017
I am no girl
Nor boy, nor child
To squeeze my being
Into labels
Is not my style
Nora Jan 2017
It’s hard to breathe through
choppy waters when your
head bounces like a hopeless buoy

if only you could sink and drown instead
of being anchored to this
miserable, isolated purgatory
Nora Apr 2017
In a black sea
Of mourning bodies
I stand quietly in
Pale chiffon. My
Heart is dark and
Lonely, cloaked in
Sorrow as I bid thee
Time goodbye

For years I’ve seen
You suffer, lose your
Life and luster with
Each passing breath,
Our love was once
A blooming garden,
Bright and lovely
Before it succumbed to death
Nora Apr 2016
Struggling not to suffocate
In the tight cellophane tent
That encases my mattress,
Gasping, reaching out but
Hand can’t break the barrier

I’m surrounded by cheap
Reflections of myself, this
Bed is their shrine -- i pay
Homage to the demons
By listening to each one
And giving them a piece
Of my mind

There’s a world out there
That i don't know, outside
This drear and bleary *****
Room that keeps me captive
Nora Apr 2016
Pull me into your lips
Like a cigarette,
Inhale my smoky spirals
Harsh and ashy on your
******* lungs and
Let me sit there for a while,
Charcoal fire and nicotine
Poison, I’m killing you slowly
But you want it
Nora Apr 2017
Golly, goodness,
My oh my!
You can’t leave yet--
It’s barely time!
What do you mean
You’re to be married?
How scary, oh --
Say, where are you going?
Don’t run away!
Look here, my darling
I cannot tell a lie
I’ve a baby in my bedroom
And he’s not a little guy!
Oh, god, he’s drawing near
Come quickly -- or else
I might become a leopard's feast!
Ah, yes-- one moment --
There you are! But
Don’t be angry, dear,
I needed you to
Drop on by. Let us go
Now, off to auntie’s
In the quiet countryside!
You might be late,
But I’ll be sure you arrive
Oh -- goodness, me oh my
We’re filthy animals, silly
So take this towel and
Rinse on off! -- Oh?
What’s that?
You need your clothes?
Oh dear, I sent them off to town
To be ironed and cleaned
Sit pretty in my robe and--
Oh! Dear oh me,
Here comes auntie!
We must hide baby
But he’s run away
Where oh where,
My oh my --
Now we’re in jail
What am I ever to say?
You see, I messed it up
Your plans, your night,
I dragged you here
To help because
I quite like -- love you!
Oh, what have I said?
What a fool am I,
I’m sorry for the mess
Sniffle, hm? Oh-yes?
You’ve something to say?
Oh tell me now, do confess
Y-you love me too?
Oh darling, this is too good
For it all to be true!
Let’s have another day of fun
But I promise, this time,
We won’t go on a wild chase!
Inspired by "Bringing Up Baby" (1938), of course.
Nora Mar 2016
I’m two parts a ****** up mess
And one part bitterness,
Shake me up and let me settle
In the pit of your empty stomach
(but i’ll probably make you ******* sick)
happy st. patrick's day
Nora Mar 2016
Is it acting
or adapting?
smiling for the show
of customers:
bright, dapper,
cheery and proud -
pushing product
with a knowing smile,
words animated,
confident and collected.
once they leave i sit and
ponder, I see the stars
in their films and admire
from afar, lamenting that I
cannot act - but can I?
written on a receipt at work
Nora Sep 2018
Have I broken your back yet
Like I pulverized mine?
I know I'm a heavy burden --
With weight I cannot leave behind
Nora Sep 2018
Hospitable I am
With the company I keep
They’ve settled quite well, the
Feisty little creatures --
In my mind they burrow deep

Generous I am
To the voices in my mind
Feeding them so they flourish --
Whispering persuasive hatred
With every chance they find

Gullible I am
Because I listen with open ears
Gobbling up their words in
Idolization, never questioning
Any sound that I hear
Nora Aug 2016
i am hungry and
always wanting to have ***;
i read and feel
i breathe and know
two favorites, one here &
one there, both appetizing
sticky sweet spoons, but
only one allows me to
indulge and say,
reference: Peanut Butter by Eileen Myles
Nora Mar 2017
Five thousand miles
Wandering the desert dry
Yearning for purpose
For some venerable way to die

Grinning gal with silver dollar eyes
Head lost in endless reveries
Searching for a way out
Blonde hair rustling in the breeze

Two paths entwine
Haphazardly passing by
Sore souls searching
Answering each other’s cry

Talking for hours,
He ignores her every plea
Mere inches between them
Each one the other’s tease

Through smoke and gunfire,
She grabs him tight
He’s gunning for the end
To go gently with the night
insp. by the petrified forest (1936)
Nora Feb 2016
You’re probably sitting now
With a glass of cabernet
Sprawled on the couch
Reflecting on your day
Maybe the TV
Is humming along
Singing its song
So you don’t have to
Listen to yours.

You’re heavy with
Loneliness and those
guilty pleasures --
candies --
That you hide
A nervous addiction
Even though you write it out
In wrappers.

I know I do not fail
To flummox you
You hide it well
But I still see through
“The line’s always open,”
is the urging
Too bad I already
Blew out the fuse
Nora Jul 2016
Zooming fast
Zipping and
Ripping through
Brain matter

Negative neurons
Infiltrate and invade
Irrationally made
Usurp what’s real
It’s all surreal
In the most ****** up
Of ways
Nora Mar 2017
Down city avenues and dead ends
We unravel together,
The knots of our hearts
Tearing us both apart
Nora Jan 2017
Crazy ***** laughing bitter tears and
crying cruel laughter, curling like
a millipede thrown to the ground,
fragile, writhing creature of pity
reduced to sobs and shame as
one hand trembles toward the screen

skin meets glass, she punches, hard,
but the barrier absorbs her woes and
holds its rigid ground. No,
she can’t be touched,  cannot touch,
They won’t let her -- she screams. muffled
white noise to the world, no one hears,
who would care? bells ring and crash in a pounding
skull, she contemplates smearing her brain
across the glass but her neck is locked in place
poor puny marionette left to hang without a will
in a world of which she can’t be a part
Nora Feb 2017
We wrestled once,
through tangled sheets
You on top, I beneath
Leading lady and her little sheep

Late into the night we stayed
Secret sapphics stowed away
When daybreak hit and eyes could see
Our heat rolled off with the tumbleweeds
part of my cinema project; insp. by johnny guitar (1954)
Nora Mar 2017
I found God
In the gaze of my lover
As we lay still on the water
In the stupor of fear

I found God
When I fled alone to discover
I was trapped with no other
Until he appeared

I found God
In my haggard reflection,
Torn dress by the ocean
Wondering if I was in the clear

I found God
Watching lost men die free,
Succumbing to clarity
Thinking my time was near

I found God
When I lost all hope
My heart was breaking on the waves
And I didn't know how to steer

I found God
In a longing embrace
Finally feeling in my place
Knowing our time was now and here
Insp. by Strange Cargo  (1940)
Nora Feb 2016
Blue meet grey
In the brief flash
Of a mutual gaze
Before eyes fall back
To the littered ground
Hands clasped tight
Toes are twitching
Man and girl
Sitting in careful, practiced non-existence.
Inspiration taken from Nabokov's ******.
Nora Apr 2016
our worlds collide,
day and night
you think i’d be
able to hide in a
blurry crowd

does it dawn on you,
too? you’re there and
the sunset’s hot on
my cheeks, red mess
of a masterpiece burning
and i shut my eyes
to pitch black,
praying you can’t
see me.

you’re so pretty
in the sparking
sun, cascading gentle
rays like embraces
From soft laughter.
you rise, I fall
head over heels
from the hill in
the distance
a revision of "Ray"
Nora May 2017
Auburn haired dame
She’ll never be tamed
Dressed up to the nines
In ball gowns divine
With laughter like song
So prideful and strong
The freedom she’ll dance
Has the world in a trance
She’s beauty, she's strength
Standing firmly in place
And her whole life she’d chance
For her name is France
Inspired by reunion in France  (1942)
Nora Mar 2016
i want to sit amongst the stars
silent, dissolving into space, a
still nothingness, a pair of eyes
and no more.

i want LA to absorb me like a sponge,
soaking my essence, throwing it
into the sink with all the other lost
young souls: we’re soapy watercolor

i want to be an extra on a movie set,
watching in wonder as personality
after personality passes me by,
perfect and poised.

i want to dissipate into the foam
of johnny depp’s coffee, or drift
like the smoke from uma thurman’s
cigarette against her lips.

i want to be a fleeting ghost, a jane
doe in an undated photo by the
paparazzi, nameless and noir
in the grainy polaroid.

i want to be a shadow, the fragments
cast off of a shooting star - i want to
trail along until i fade.
Nora Mar 2017
Darling, dearest,
Come out of the dark,
And into my heart
The sun has set,
The crowds are gone,
No longer I ought to pretend
That you’re only just a friend
Nora Feb 2016
I’m waging battles,
Winning fights
Against my mind.
Little things that
Dragged me down
Are gently tucked and
Buried beneath
The soft loam of
Recovery. It’s fresh
and shallow, like a
Scab and you just
Love to pick around
The edges until it’s
Red and raw and
Ready to rip off my
Skin, it’s thin, I’m
Sensitive and
War has not hardened
Me enough to roll
With all the punches.
Expect me not to
Meet your Expectations
I am done trying,
Even though I’m
******* hardwired
To shove myself into

Their ill-fitting form.
Nora Mar 2016
You think you never
Cut the ******
Umbilical cord,
That i’m one hundred
And fifty pounds of
Walking baggage
That belongs to you.

I’m just your grown-up,
Beat up barbie doll,
With the limbs loose
And skin scarred:
A breathing toy.

You invalidate me
So you can have a
Perpetual platform,
A pedestal tarnished
By the scuffs of your
Dagger heels.
Nora Feb 2016
You struck the match
You birthed the fire
The room was dark
Our bodies brighter
I was breathless
I was high
From hello,
Until goodbye.

You called me nightly
You let me in
Awakened a sense
Of fun and new
A comfortable
Abode for two.

I didn’t know love
Could be defined
By chinese buffet
And ripened peaches
I didn’t realize love
Was at the door,
In the pool, down
the road at the farm
Or even the dusty
Old piano where we’d
Play the music from
Our favorite games.

You, I,
We never saw it coming
Even though it was
Achingly inevitable.
We were never
Conscious of the bigger
Thing - just good friends,
Great friends, best friends.
I didn’t know our time
Would run short.
You talked of the future
You made me smile
I’d sit beside you
Talking life, sad because
School was coming up
And you lived far away.

I didn’t know I loved you,
Even up until the end
Dragging our feet in the sand
Ocean’s breath on our backs
cold, because the sun
Was setting and so was summer.

I didn’t know matches
Could die and fade.
I always thought they
Led to magnificent flames.
It hurt too much,
The pain, the loss,
The start and end -
I miss you, friend.

You broke the match
You killed the fire
My heart is dark
My outlook darker
I was breathless,
I was high
From hello,
Until goodbye.
Nora Mar 2016
You aren’t real, I know it to be true
I’ve seen you vanish in a hot second

When the clouds come rumbling
You’re gone with the vapor
Nora Mar 2016
Rainy days make
your joints
And my heart
Grisly greys, dampened dirt,
The scent of earth
Rich with grief and

I taste the mist and
Feel amiss, shivering in
Showers, a wilted
Salty tears and fears
Masked by downpours
That drip and drown my
Burning humiliation
Nora May 2017
the reins slipped my hand ---
or maybe I never truly held them
like rolling die
falling from the sky
the odds of fate
are far from reach
Nora Dec 2018
a growing distance
of interlocked souls
what once was love
has now grown cold
though moments flicker
before my eyes
in the end
it’s still goodbye
Nora Mar 2017
Charming vagabond with a smile so sweet
Sweeps her suitors off their feet
With a twirl of her skirt and a flash of her thigh,
She’s climbing the ladder, wooing lovers to the skies
insp. by flaming road, of course
Nora Mar 2017
Cameras flashing in rapid succession
She’s reunited with the lights,
Descending from heavens above
She throws herself to the wolves
Wrestling crowds and wrist cuffs,
Drowning in the spotlight
As she’d always dreamed
Insp. by Sunset Boulevard (1950)
Nora Mar 2016
I wear the nest now.
It’s an ill-fitting tutu-
Itchy, scratchy,
constricting, and I’m
Stuck. My wings would
Not withstand the weight
If I ever tried to fly to
Freedom, far away from
Nora Mar 2016
My eyes are never dry
My head never clear
My stomach churns daily
My mind’s numbed by fears

I’m sorry I’m distant, disturbed
And distracted
I’m sorry I’m silent, saddened
And secluded

I want to be better
I want to be well
I want to go one day
Without facing Hell

I want to make memories
Not dwell in my mind
I want to escape this
I want out of this bind

I keep saying sorry
When I know I should stop
I mean to say thank you
For sticking, for staying,
Not letting me drop.
Nora Jul 2016
Didn’t dream I’d put my mind
To use this way, useless days
Spent fixating and fearing I’m
Unable to fix my broken head
Overactive imagination acting
Up and overachieving in wanton
Ways, I’m stuck in a rut to fester
Forever and a day
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