I read these words today
Like "when faced with overwhelming fear,
Human beings will do almost anything to survive,
****, lie, steal, pray... anything,
Whatever gives them hope that each breath they take won't be their last,
As long as hope remains,
the human will is stronger than steel..

It's when all hope is lost is lost,
That human behaviour reaches its basest form,
And actions that once seemed inconceivable to a rational person become real possibilities..
In desperate minds"

And it got me thinking like..
How many times have I had a one time chance,
To change everything,
To change me...
And all that clouded me was fear,
Fear of being misunderstood,
Seem an outcast, different and at times rude,
Fear that "oh I think he's loosing it" with a pinch of sympathy..
is all I'll get from the people around me
Every productive thought was choked by fear.

And I thought...
may be some dreams don't come true coz
I don't want em bad enough,
Bad enough to scare the hope that I'm moving,
While reality is nursing me
I'm ******* crawling..

I got me thinking,
May sometimes it's okay if people don't get it
Coz sometimes even I don't get them
The decisions they make seem far fetched
But then...
Then they make it
We all do,
in our own little words
Filled with true gaffes and laughs..

Maybe I can do it..
We all can..
We just
Need to want it
That ******* bad

Darling
My prayers may sound like incoherent speech
Like a child trying to out grow his slow pace of development and form words through his immature teeth

And still...

I'd still pray for you,
'Coz God don't live inside the synagogues
Nor does he listen to each one of our native tongues
Just like how he walks out of there to excuse himself from the screams of the righteous ones
Long as I'm honest enough... He'll lend an ear til am done

I'd pray for you
Not for prosperity or peace
I wouldn't voice out complain against yo demons so they'd let you be
I wouldn't ask for angels to come down and help you on yo feet
It sounds crazy, ain't it

Darling
I'd pray you understand that difficult isn't something to fear love
And that the life of a Phoenix demands, it be engulfed in flames every once in a while

I'd pray that those angels should only hold yo hand, should they come
And that you understand that a peace of mind is already a piece in mind

And perhaps in time...

I'll learn how to do better
But for now
God'll have to listen to that!

Reality don't arrive..
It ain't your third cousin,
Seeking shelter during family gatherings,
It ain't a guest in your fav't TV show reruns,
So you cant expect to tell it to hit the road whenever you need a peace of mind

In fact it ain't a code written in a tech app,
That you can erase whenever you encounter a mishap,
It ain't like Whatsapp texts that you can simply delete,
Before the other party gets a glimpse,

Its a part of you that you can't forsake,
Like a deadly disease you can't afford to neglect,
Its that nagging sibling that's always on yo neck,
Digging deep in yo business then reminds you of your mistakes

From mistaken and unattended emotions
To the often "unfinished" business
Reality bites deep into your flesh to inflict that perfect torment,
That early morning text that you know you'll regret,

But I guess we all get lost in our sophisticated lives,
Forgetting that there are things we simply can't forget about
The little bonds that we choose not to cut off
And in return creates demons that we end up trying to escape from

She gets a kick of memories that barely exists
Choosing to sink deeper into her fantasies
Simultaneously aware of her impending doom
But she can't help herself from wanting to get back in his arms

It hits us when we are most unprepared,
No matter how good we handle a friend in need,
Or how much we stay close and care

I guess we don't anticipate it happen
Or may be we do but we are blinded
Blinded by the off chance and rare cases
Blinded by our inability to see the trend of thoughts and emotions
The unforgiving chain of reactions
That drives the mind into depression,
It ain't simply just about acceptance,
About bonding, love and affection,
It goes deeper than our daily interactions,

Worst of all is that, it hits in a personal level,
Head first with sharp edged bavel,
Most of us would just pitch in the positive notes, no?
Yeah, but that doesn't overcome the emptiness that's been there for years now,

We all take our safer approach on our life pages,
Trying to quickly out out a fire that's been burning for ages,
Because we want to get rid of a problem,
A problem that is now a part of this person,
Drastically cutting off what we deem unpleasant,
All those addictions and everything heathen,
And so, what then?

I'm burning,
Yet i feel alive,
Consumed within,
These feelings that i have,

I'm drowning,
In the pool of your love,
Yet enjoying,
Every wave that comes,

I'm falling,
In this bottomless pit,
Yet I feel safe,
Because you are with me,

I'm burning,
And you are the flame in my mind,
To me its a blessing,
To even call you mine,

Sometimes things fall in place,
May be divine intervention,
Or the universe giving us a hand shake,

Do you believe in miracles,
In prophets and voice of an Oracle,
Do you believe in the power of overall justice,
If not...
What do you think in times like this,

Time where human intelligence is exhausted,
When all the plans and schemes go down in ashes,

When you feel the walls and ceiling close in,
And all of the sudden a hand,
Pulls you despite your countless sins,

Giving you freedom,
A room to breathe,
Giving your mouth a song,
And joy for you to hold in,

Do you believe in God and his proclaimed saints,
What do you think of,
When you get that second chance,

I could tell you about what came my way
But its more about listening,
See am a cab driver for a day,
And there's more to it than driving,

I get all sorts of customers,
Angry, kind and loners,
Some talk about life, troubles and ******,
Others gossip about their loud neighbours,

So i get to listen to it all,
Share their lives and mysteries they bestow,
Share their feelings and emotions,
Til the moment they close my door,

I see their faces as they get in and out,
I smile away just to get my cut,
But every now and then,
Door opens for someone who listens,
An angel if you might,
And you my dear,
Is that person tonight,

Believe in this,
The blood in your veins,
And the heart inside your chest

Believe in this,
The dreams that feels small like a grain,
Believe and never let them rest,

No matter how much you fail,
Or how hard it is,
No matter what seems to be in your way,
You must believe in this,

Believe,
That the world hasn't seen everything,
Believe,
That there is a difference you make,
Believe,
In your work, your hopes and dreams,
Believe,
In every second you are awake,

Believe in this,
There is a place for you amongst the stars,
Believe in this,
Believe in who you are,

Tell mama,
I'll be alright,
I'll do my best,
Keep my eye on the prize,

Tell mama,
I'll never let go,
Even when no one is there,
I'll do it on my own,

Tell mama,
I still dream the dream,
I won't let anything
come in between,

Tell mama,
To be proud and happy as she can be,
Tell mama,
I still got some fight in me,

Love is ecstasy,
That feeling inside me,
Like THC,

Love is a beautiful heart break,
That text back,
After a one night stand,

Love is a free fall,
That late night good bye,
That makes you come back for more,

Love is a necessity,
The glowing Halo,
That made me,

Hello there,
This one is for you,
Something I'd like to share,
And let you know how much am thankful,

Thank you for how you care,
And how you always there,
As my best friend and someone I can count on,
Someone I can tell anything I know,

Thank you for being that person,
That picks me up when am broken,
Thank you for being all that you can be,
And for seeing even underneath my skin,

Thank you for giving me someone I look up to,
Yes. You are that to me too,
Thank you for being you,
And for sticking around even when my days are blue,

You're one of those people,
That are rare to find,
A gift for the soul,
A blessing to this man,

Thank you for listening when I talk,
You have no idea how hard that is,
Thank you for being a friend and more,
Besides all the trouble I cause,

Thank you for your words,
Thank you for the time,
To me, you are indeed gold,
And wouldn't trade you for the whole world,

Darling, I am alone,
Not lonely,
I chose to stay home,
And enjoy my own company,

I like the way it is,
And how it feels,
To have no strings,
Nor someone waiting for me,

I like to tune in whatever I like,
Without a worry of an extra pair of eyes,
Cook, drink and smoke,
And never worry of my heart ever being torn,

Darling, I chose to be free,
Because love always seems like a cage to me,
Talk to him but not that one,
Watch carefully for my tongue and lines,

I hate to disappoint,
Because I'm a mess in my head,
So instead of being pain to someone else,
I'd rather lay alone on my bed,

Darling, I understand what you say,
But life to me had always gone a different way,
So I'd rather have a million who won't be just for me,
Than someone absent when I need her there, to be,

She was a wonderful girl,
Had it all figured out,
And for herself,
The whole world,

She was madly in love,
Drunk, high and *** every night,
All went too fast and never stopped,
And slowly the world faded from her sight,

Til one day she woke up,
Found out she was pregnant,
Everything crumbled down in a drop,
Then in came, resentment,

It went from all spinning around,
To silence filled with statements,
She couldn't hold her ground,
And with a baby, struggled to pay rent,

Everything became tasteless,
With no one to even hug,
She started to be reckless,
And one day, turned to drugs,

Each day became harder than the last,
And nothing was enough to numb the pain,
Constantly haunted by the ghosts from her past,
Desperately wanting to get away,

See she wasn't a bad person,
Just needed a break,
Breathing became a frustration,
Because she became someone she hate,

With no one else to turn to,
She went her own way,
The world will never know the truth,
Of the struggles she faced everyday,

Wasn't long until she gave in,
She didn't want to fight anymore,
And just like that she ended it,
With a heart so torn,

Do you ever think of me?
When you walking home late,
And your road is long as it can be,
Am I a part of you then?

Do you ever think of me?
In the middle of the day,
When everything piles up,
And your mind drifts away,

Do you think of me?
When you wake up feeling sour,
And curve your lips into a smile,
When you picture your body next to mine,

Do you ever think of me,
Whenever am away,
Do you think of me,
As I think of you, every single day,

I can't write what I feel,
Not even if I want to,
Accept what you get from me,
Because the rest will horrify you,

I can't write how I feel about love,
Or how I think that its all just a fairytale,
Accept the smile that I can give,
Because the rest will drive you away,

I can't write about my emotions,
Or how I battle with all that is inside,
Mixed up into a constant frustration,
That always puts me on the brink of going mad,

I can not tell you everything you want,
Just accept what you only see,
I assure you its for the best,
To let the rest of me be,

See,
This time, you won't leave me with a scratch,
I'm good as I can be,
I won't give you anything to watch,

This time,
You won't leave me a scar,
Every wrong you ever did to me,
Will fade away like a dying star,

This time,
I will feel no pain,
I'll turn numb,
And won't break again,

See,
This time I will be free,
Away from your lies and abuse,
And finally be free,

Why can't we lie?,
Why can't we cheat?,
If it gets us what we want,
And fulfill our darkest needs,

It's a universal law,
Its what religion preach,
To stay in line and course,
Is the way to reap all good there can be,

But why not be rebels,
And taste how it feels,
Why can't we lie,
And be what we can be,

I could tell you of a person she was,
Or how she made me smile,
I could tell you anything there is to be told,
But that may take a while,

But I'll tell you she was sweet,
And that she was one of a kind,
I'll tell you what she was to me,
And how she filled my mind,

I could tell you how much she'd sing,
Whenever happiness burnt her heart,
I could tell everything,
And know not when to stop,

But in her world there was another,
A world I could never understand,
May be I could have tried better,
But I could hold a grip of it by hand,

I will tell you she was a friend,
One I'll forever mourn her loss,
I'll tell you of her end,
And me before her was her choice,

She was a mother,
That's about all there is to say,
And I'll forever love her,
Just wish she'd spent one more day,

I'm the cupid's mistake,
I tend to stand out,
I fall for things that are out of place,
And cant seem to stop,

I don't kiss when am supposed to,
I don't stay when I should,
I say words that comes in my mind,
And most of them are hurtful,

I'm a cupid's mistake,
My heart is cold and dark,
I drain life of anyone's hand I take,
And in me, you'll find no spark,

I learnt not to break,
So with me comes no apology,
I tend to put everything to fate,
And that's what I've always been,

I'm a cupid's mistake,
So don't blame me,
I don't play by the general rules in place,
I do what Im mostly pleased with,

I saw disappointment
In her eyes,

I could see
her heart sink,

She couldn't take in
another lie,

But honest
wasn't something
he could be,

So I listen to the sweet melody,
That reminds me of you,
That slow love song,
That got me hooked on blues,

The soft beat of the drum,
And the silence after every piano key,
That low fading hum,
That brings you closer to me,

I listen to the music,
And the words beneath each rhyme,
I listen to the voice and lyrics,
To set me free from the cage of time,

I listen to each instrument,
That comforts me when you're gone,
Help me in each passing moment,
Till that time you come home,

There will come time of silence,
Time of fear, pain and horror,
When all men shall regret their presence,
And in those days, comes sorrow,

But before the end greets us,
And extends its open dreaded arms,
Let us live and worry not of our daily fuss,
Rejoice the gift that is life with the most beautiful sounds,

Let us drink and eat,
And dance our troubles away,
And may the devil on our heels,
bite its tongue over the joy in our days,

Let us bask in love, feelings and emotions,
Let us breathe the air in passing each moment,
And let not, our hearts be troubled by any commotion,
Let the smile and laughter be our favourite adornment,

I write to you,
Because I know you have known the future to come,
So alas and cherish these days,
Before they are done,

If only you knew,
Of the darkness that walks within your shadow,
The whispering sounds,
the unnerving fear that follows,

If only you knew the secrets,
The tales and stories,
Packed with subliminal messages,
that tells of death and glory,

If only you'd open your eyes,
And for once see,
What you thought is and was,
Is all here and real,

If there is to be an end,
Let there be a rose in my hand,
A kiss upon my lips,
And silent moment before I break,

If there is to be an end,
Let it be quick,
No words to be said,
So I'd have the best memory of you for me,

If there is to be an end,
I want it to be like this,
A day, out in the world,
The wind upon my face,
Tell me all I need to know,
And leave me to my peace,

I'm dying,
Let me be,
I've lived long, proud an free,

I'm dying, son
With no scent of regret,
I've seen you achieve goals,
I've seen you become the best,

I'm dying,
Let me be,
I haven't had everything,
But I had all I could ever need,

Today was beautiful,
I had conquered my share of the world,
Today was peaceful,
With soft so said words,

Today I am calm,
As wind of the carribean sea,
Today was more than I could ask,
And I had the best for me

How did we get here?
Where we hide our thoughts,
And only speak in fear,
Just so we don't get caught,
So we keep to ourselves our opinions and ideas,
How did we get here?

How did we get to this?
Where we have a limit of a way to think,
And we limit our right to freedom of speech,
All just so we don't offend thee,
How did we get to this?

The men who are meant to serve,
Can't handle the truth,
So we don't tell it as it is,
Coz we know what they'll do,
From courts to jail and at times beating,
Yes that's true!,
So it all comes down to what they'll choose,
And they smile like its all good,

So we have to hold on to our dictionary for a consult,
Just so when we speak we don't accidentally insult,
'cause you know the big men can't take a joke,
Or a poke and what not,

And its not that we can fight,
We can't take them up in a round with all their might,
They'd squash us down like a bug,
And then just shrug,

How did we get here?,
Its not like they need it to earn our respect,
We've already voted for them,
How do they not get it?,
We did it with clear mind,
And know that they ain't perfect,
Why do we have to regret?

So I sit here just asking,
How did we get here,
I thought things would be better,
Instead we all now have to look over our shoulder,
How did we get here

Say we fix the people,
Make them honest and good,
Say we brush them rust to gold,
Into something we choose,

Say we dress them nicely,
Make them compassionate and kind,
Say they all became heroes we want them to be,
With a phenomenal strength in mind,

Say we abolish hate,
And we all throw love around,
Say we end all conflicts,
Every one puts their weapons to the ground,

Say we change this world,
Into something we'd want it to be,
Say its all possible,
And it starts with you and me,

Lighter, flames,
Another ounce of nicotine in me,
And you're the one to blame,
For the way my heart feels,

And I crave for more of it,
The way it burns in my lung,
I won't care of the demise I'll meet,
Its the one thing I understand,

See you're just like nicotine,
Both **** the life out of me,
But at least with a cigarette I'll be,
High for a while and stress free,

It kills I know,
But so is the milk from which you could choke,
I'll die, yes I know,
At least I'll know its my fault,

She just sat there,
With the ring in her hands,
Thinking,
Of every word he'd ever said,

The smile on his face,
And the joy he'd bring,
The place where they met,
And how her heart bloom like a flower in spring,

She just sat there,
Wondering of what's next,
And without a word of care,
She thought of the future in place,

She just sat there,
"Nothing's left for me",
Said it'll soon be over,
With nothing but a sip of this,

This is to the man of her dreams,
I know you've never had a chance to know me,
She is a beacon of happiness in my life,
A reason behind my smile,
So before you take her hand..
I need a moment of your time,

She is a little rough around the edges,
Its just how she's always been through out her age,
Be patient when she is hype and off her ground,
With a kind word touch her hand and calm her down,
She is fragile, you see,
Sometimes when she needs attention not only when sick,
Try to understand and be there,
'Cause you are the only one in trust with her care,

She isn't built for this hush world,
And I'm sure she'd want me to take back these words,
So when you see she's down with sadness around her eyes,
Be the one to step in and make her smile,

She is sweet and loving,
I've known for all the time she's been with me,
I know not much of her heart and the turmoil of her soul,
But let you my boy,
Be the heart she'd call home,

I've taught her pride,
Am the one to blame for that,
I've taught her to talk,
And say what she wants,
I hope you understand her power of free speech,
And don't mistake it for an attitude or habit from peers,
Its just her heart trying to speak,
So please my boy, lend her your kind and loving ear,

My boy, she is my most treasured gift,
From the day she opened her eyes,
I have a reason to tell you this,
So you can be a man to her,

This is to a man of her dreams,
Be part of what she believes,
Never see any less of what she hopes,
This is to a man,
She wants the most

"Its a punishment, you see.."
I tend to bend towards the dark,
Unlike other living trees,
And bare my own unique marks,

I see different from the next person,
Refused to listen what the world is saying,
Instead believe on my own distortions,
At least that's what they see in me when they are looking,

I see the world through a narrow hole,
Neglect the thrill that the big picture may be good,
I choose to stay in my darkness of mind,
Drawing satisfaction on what I think and all that could,

Like I could see a church and think of learning,
Instead of a place to be healed,
I'd see a school and think not of growing,
But a place where a mind is submitted and must yield,

Its a punishment,
That I receive,
From the next generation of beings,
Who force all,
To believe,
In a similar manner of idea in different things,

Its a punishment,
Being an outcast in a society of my kind,
But I have to indure being different,
Because, I don't believe there is a better life than what I see in my mind.

You know those questions that you get
Like why is the sky blue?
The ones you can not answer,
But, try to pass off that you do,

Well I had one the other day,
What if we had a chance to feel what the person next to us does?
We'd touch each other without a word to say,
It'd be beautiful with no trigger or cause,

There'd be no need for gestures,
Coz our minds would be in the same place,
There'd be nothing to hold us,
There'd be no need to seize that perfect chance,

I don't know..

I just can't seem to help myself,
I wear my heart for all to see,
May be your my "someone else"
The one who feels just like me,

Its the flowers..
They remind me of colors with no name,
Words that will never be said,
Emotions that are buried inside of me,
And of times I've hesitated to take your hand,

Do you ever see people?
For how the react towards you.
Not for what they look like or walk.
But for their emotions buried deeper than any truth,

I wish I could just reach out.
And touch your heart like you do mind,
I wish I could know for sure,
How you see me inside that beautiful mind,

I want to see beyond the smile behind your "hello",
I want to feel beyond your soft voice of " I'm okay",
I want to not just touch your life and go,
I want to be here for moments unseen and times after today,

If I tell you of what's been eating my heart..
Would you embrace me?
Would you come and stay here?
Would you reach for the piece of my fragile heart?
Would you make this step with me and forever never part?

Would you love me?
Like I have done all this time?
Would you grant me what I wish?
And let you be mine?

Am looking out of my window on a rainy day,
Thinking about a girl I met yesterday,
She had a lovely glance and gracious smile,
Oh, the soft skin went with her brown eyes,

I'm thinking about the words that came out of her lips,
The slow, steady walk as moves and her hips,
I'm thinking about the moment when I said goodbye,
It was a mere two minutes but a memory nonetheless for I,

I replay every word that I said to her,
Every movement that my body made at that time,
I'm thinking of a better way I could've made her smile,
Even though time had moved on, she's still in my mind,

I've never known peace,
To me its a ghost without a face,
I only know of complete silence,
For its what keeps me in place,

I've never known peace,
Even at the times of joy,
I smile for the sake of appearance,
Coz deep inside all I know is misery,

I've never known peace,
Even when my heart finds rest,
It seems like I've always struggled to exist,
Running out of air inside my chest,

I've never known peace,
That warm feeling within my soul,
That effortless breathing I've been told,
That "its okay" and "let it go",

I've never known peace,
Beyond that of an infant child,
Who smiles from the dreams unlimited with time,
And the calmness that comes from his untroubled mind,

I've never known peace,
Even when I had all for which I've ever wished,
I guess its just me,
And am the only one who can give me this,

I bet you are pretty,
You have to,
You have a perfect shape and body,
Please turn, would you?

You one of those polite kind,
Soft voice with a wild mind,
I hope you're not a spoiled child,
So please turn around,

I have to see your face,
Its not about beauty,
I just want see your glance,
I hope you turn for the sake of me,

The ride is almost over,
And so far u havent dropped on any stops,
I hope you stay and keep my head sobber,
Or turn so I can start over...

am a suggestion,
a mere thought in your mind,
a short lived affection,
a dim light in time,

am the light,
that shine through your eyes,
a reason behind some
and most of your smile,

i am what made you be,
the reason we yearn to be free,

i am what gives life meaning,
what makes us cry when others stop breathing,
a smile on every mothers face,
when their children cries and take their first pace,

i am ancient,
i am primitive,
i am bound to patience,
i am love,

You could lose me,
                            I could lose you,
                        We could lose friends
.                    and the people we love

                     We could lose everything
                     that make us who we are
                                         But
                           Never lose a dream
                      that makes you feel alive

Peel away the skin of my soul
And watch the fairy tale before you unfold,
Reach into the deeper parts of my mind,
Just one more time,

Feel away my pain,
Pull me closer so we can dance in the rain,
Whisper to me your gorgeous lies,
And let me smile,
Just one more time,

I'll always be weak for you,
See my emotions ahead of the truth,
I know how this will end,
So let me feel love,
Just before I break,

She's a little right,
A little left,
A little wild,
With no safety net,

She flaunts her battle scars,
With a brave formidable heart,
A rough, blurred past,
With a smile that forever lasts,

She's that little morning call,
That raise your darkened soul,
She's a little magic ring,
That you'd always find its need,

She's a little wounded inside,
And still hold a smile,
She's a little left and right,
A blessing that lingers for a while,

I love this house,
It just looks so happy to me,
Like it belongs in a kid's book,
Where happiness is as wild as it can be,

I love the memories,
The parties and Christmas trees,
The faces of everyone I grew up with,
And the joy I get while remembering,

I love the old front door,
The rusted gate and tiles floor,
Oh, the old kitchen top,
I miss its beautiful smell of cooked food and all

I love the broken pieces of glass,
One by the front porch,
Where we used to play and make a mess,
Perfect. That used to be my favorite place,

I love this old house,
Something about it makes me feel calm,
When the world has done beating me down,
This, this is my sanctuary realm,

Hey mama,
Just keep it real,
No need for a fake persona,
It doesn't give a sudden rush to me,

Hey mama,
I'm all for love,
No need to pull a fast one,
You got all that make me curve,

Hey mama,
I've always been proud,
To be yo friend, heart and partner,
One to hold my ground,

Hey mama,
Just keep it real,
You'll always be my true lover,
Stand by me and hold still,

Stuck in traffic,
On my way home,
Baby wait for me,
You won't be lonely anymore,

Stuck in my mind,
Is your smile and laugh,
I'm burning in my heart,
Can't wait to be in your arms,

Staring at the tail lights,
Wish I was in a truck in front of mine,
Minutes feel like a day and night,
And I can't wait for that greenlight.

We've been here before,
May be not like this,
But its familiar, this I know,

Steamy moments,
With deep long kisses,
Crafting memories,
With our broken heart pieces,

We've been here before,
Where it all feels right,
When time stands still,
And may be stretch a little while,

We've been here, I know,
Where we try to fix the holes,
Cracks, breaks and spaces,
Things that didn't matter before,

Long due texts and missed calls,
Late nights away from home,
Fights on what's been said a night ago,
And silence that curses our hold,

We've been here before,
Where you feel safer away from my embrace,
Where the world grows thinner,
And my lips becomes bitter to taste,

We've been here before,
Where we fall in love hoping it'll stay,
We've been here before,
And now we're at it again,

I confess to everything,
To all the lies I've told,
Pain I've caused
And happiness I stole,

I confess to everything,
All the stolen nights,
Memories ruined,
And all the good byes,

I confess to all of it,
And wasted time,
I'll take all the blame,
If it'll once again make you mine,

Help me scrub the deck,
Tighten the halyard,
Bind the stays,
Let's conquer the oceans,
Don't count on days,

Say good morning,
To the water and winds,
Pull the sheets and start sailing,
And feel the ocean breeze,