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Jan 2020 · 201
dismal
Anastasia Jan 2020
the sky was gray
a dismal day
the water was still without you
my mind was astray
the rain made clay
there's just something about you
the stars have lost their shine
like marbles in the sky
the whole world seems lost
and i think that i know why
you left me on a sunny day
gone without a trace
now the world is filled with sorrow
everything is gray
Jan 2020 · 60
Untitled
Anastasia Jan 2020
i'm sorry for trusting her.
you're so beautiful.
i love you.
i'm sorry.
Jan 2020 · 101
breaking
Anastasia Jan 2020
i'm breaking
ground is shaking
why do i let you do this to me
are you confused?
Jan 2020 · 68
sorry
Anastasia Jan 2020
i'm sorry for being human
he said it's annoying when i'm sad....
Jan 2020 · 493
Absolutely
Anastasia Jan 2020
You are...
      
             Stunning.
Every single thing about you
Jan 2020 · 90
Bad Memories
Anastasia Jan 2020
Scared of the dark
Locked in the basement
Climbing to the top stair
Only to be pushed to the bottom
Locked in my room
Can barely reach the doorknob
A small hungry girl
Sobbing and snotting
No supper again tonight
Or eat off the dogs
Trying to take care of my little brother
Forced to watch him eat my chapstick
It wasn't his fault
Brain not fully formed
Taken from my mother
A foster home was supposed to be better
Watching with tear-filled eyes
As they cut off my doll's hair
Can't stop shaking
Getting punished for it
They took my brother from me
Can't see him anymore
I still cry about it sometimes
This is actually a kind of personal poem. It's about my experience from a few of my foster homes, mainly my first. It was for a contest on another poetry website about PTSD. If you're interested, here's a link https://allpoetry.com/contest/2738892-Ptsd
Jan 2020 · 655
Ocean Eyes
Anastasia Jan 2020
Once upon a time
You told me that
I have oceans in my eyes
That you wanted to drown in them
Weren't telling lies
Daisy without a stem
Dreaming of oceans
To tell the truth
Lying in the sand
I'm too attached to you
Petals in the wind
Salty breeze
Heartstrings have sinned
Didn't even say please
Soft lips
Touching my skin
Best choice of my life
Letting  you in
Modies moving
Dancing shadows
Hold me close
Don't let go
Jan 2020 · 60
Hot Stormy Tears
Anastasia Jan 2020
It's storming outside
And I realized
I can't be happy without you in my life
The rain plays a rhythmic sound
Drumming against the window
It reminds me, makes me think of how
You would gently tap your fingers on my back
The leaves pressing against the glass
Made me think of your soft lips pressed against mine
Watching dark clouds pass
Thinking of those good times
Thinking of you
And rainy days
Holding you and feeling your breathing
Lost in a diamond haze
Missing you and crying with thunder
Memories hurt
And I can't help but wonder
Did you love me like I love you?
Dec 2019 · 235
scissors
Anastasia Dec 2019
i hope you know i'm bleeding for you
Dec 2019 · 355
soft sunset
Anastasia Dec 2019
the trees were lovely
an ocean blue
like your eyes
when I look at you
the sky was pink
a soft sunset
soft blushes
a flushing palette
your arms were around me
we laid in the grass
your lips on my neck
we let the clouds pass
dandelions
scattering
floating their way
into our dreams
Dec 2019 · 90
The boy he loves
Anastasia Dec 2019
The boy he loves is beautiful
With pretty brown eyes
And long soft eyelashes
The boy he loves has a bright sparkly smile
He's tall and strong and has soft caramel hair
The boy he loves is funny and loved
The girl I am is boring
With basic green-blue eyes
and lashes short and average
The girl I am has a stupid cheesy smile
She's scared and weak and has boring ***** blonde hair
The girl I am is not-enough and lonely.
The boy I love doesn't love me
Though my love for him is bigger than the sea
Dec 2019 · 613
love letter
Anastasia Dec 2019
love letters
piling up in my brain
doodled little hearts
making a chain
staring at you
pretty pink lips
soft to the touch
at my fingertips
hands running through
silky soft hair
pretty eyes sparkle
so do mine when you're there
a pink envelope
filled with pretty words
sweet velvety memories
so very gently blurred
writing love letters
wearing big sweaters
thinking
of you
an old draft i just finished.
Dec 2019 · 217
dear santa
Anastasia Dec 2019
dear santa
i want one thing
love for me
i would like you to bring
many don't know,
i'm lonely you see,
and i just want
some one to hold me
santa, i would like to meet
a pretty boy who's very sweet
a boy who likes to make me laugh
and has lot's of questions to ask
i would like someone with a poetic side
someone who has an affinity for the night
i just want someone to love me
thank you santa,
i can't wait to see.
just a christmas wish
Dec 2019 · 1.3k
warm summer day
Anastasia Dec 2019
soft blonde hair
plush kisses on my cheek
fingers tracing circles
at the edge of the creek
confessions
and blushing cheeks
wiping tears
fixing the leaks
lips on skin
gentle heat
a warm summer day
with a love so sweet
Dec 2019 · 1.3k
walk in the snow
Anastasia Dec 2019
the sky is golden blue
your cheeks a pinkish hue
walking through the snowy woods
all i want right here with you
time is slow
your hand in mine
falling snow
clouds align
the softest kiss
upon my nose
arms around you
wind softly blows
it's cold
but i can't tell
deep i my heart
my love will dwell
boots are crunching
soft white snow
i love you more
than you will know
Dec 2019 · 222
amor
Anastasia Dec 2019
"amor"
he whispered
lips close to hers
his arms
round her waist
she listened to his words
bodies moving
under the sunrise
lips touching
shining blue eyes
"amor"
he whispered
her hands in his hair
taste of love
floating in the air
breath in
each other's essence
relishing
each other's presence
"amor"
he whispered
hands on her
her body shivered
no space between each other
bodies moving against the other
hands clasped
hearts beating
hoping it lasts
faces heating
"my love"
she said.
"forever"
he told her.
my love
Dec 2019 · 553
chocolate
Anastasia Dec 2019
i bet you'd taste like chocolate
melting in my mouth
sweet and decadent
just give me one taste
of sweet love
a rich taste
of your cocoa kiss
and your silky lips
32 words exactly.
Dec 2019 · 943
so beautiful
Anastasia Dec 2019
"you're so beautiful,"
i told him.
he looked away
"i'm not"
he said
"you're one of the most beautiful people i've ever met,"
i said.
"no,
i'm ugly,"
he told me
"i swear, there's something about, that's just
absolutely beautiful."
i promised.
he looked up
angry tears in his eyes
"No. You don't get it. I'm hideous,"
he yelled.
"you're so beautiful to me"
i said softly as he walked away
i tell him he's beautiful, but what i think doesn't matter to him.
Dec 2019 · 481
heart breaker
Anastasia Dec 2019
twisting
creeping
vines 'round my heart
thorns
piercing
tearing it apart
pressure
squeezing
dripping shards
paper skin
ripping softly
declaring love
absolutely falsely
dripping heat
blood falls
breaking hearts
an impressive feat
roses bloom
from seeds of shards
pure love
for you to discard
Dec 2019 · 208
Burn
Anastasia Dec 2019
She felt as though her face was on fire and her face was on fire and she felt on fire and she wanted to burn.
Nov 2019 · 623
Queen of Sin (Revised)
Anastasia Nov 2019
Lucy was a girl
With a bright red coat
Dark obsidian curls
You should note
Laughter like bubbles
Floating in the air
Innocent
And unaware
Her kindness sweet
She was never alone
She had the sweetest dreams
Where she and Lucifer would meet
He would whisper in her ear
And welcomed her to his land of heat
But sweet young Lucy
Didn't know
Her left from right from wrong
Sweet young Lucy
Didn't know the Devil's song
So our sweet young Lucy
When her coat was spattered with red
Didn't know when it happened
That her parents were dead
She bubbled with joy
And giggled so sweet
When Lucifer said her name
"Someday you will be my queen," He said
"After you play the Orphan's Game."
"I will see that if you win
You will be the ruler of sin."
So Lucy laughed and said of course
"Sweet dreams!"
She said,
To her parents while they bled
Now clueless Lucy played his game
And lied the homeless to sleep
To the blind man, she said
"It's safe to cross the street."
Feeding starving cats
Poison made for rats
Shattered glass
In the elderly’s food
Helping in the nursing home
Going straight down
Not even chewed
Puppies in wells
Where darkness dwells
Blooms in the water
Scarlet red
Bits and pieces floating up
The sweetest bit is the head
The joyous sound
Of high pitched screams
An infant lost
Purposely
Watch their mouths
Cut off their tongue
Jump from the top
The highest rung
Anyone will listen to
That sweet soft voice
Just a few words
Then they’re her toys
“Please, sir,”
She said
“Do this for me”
Immune to any sense of dread
She played his game
And told his lies
And the game had been won
But even then
When she was done
The chaos had
Just begun
She didn't know
What she had wrought
And pain and lashings
The devil man brought
But not to his queen
For she was his Lady in Red
Sweet young Lucy
Would never be dead
Lucy played
His Orphan's Game
Eventually sweet young Lucy
Soon grew up
And Lucy one day
Fell in love
Of course, it was Satan's luck
The Lady in Red with the softest touch
It was a gory romance
The Queen of Sin
Let the devil man's
Emotions in
And since dear Lucy
Was all grown up
She gave in
To Lucifer's lust
And when I say
That blood was shed
Trust me
And Lucy's sweetness
Was not dead
Some call her darling
Or his Queen of Sin
Some call her Lucy
Or God, even
God was a woman
With a blood-stained coat
The devil man's wife
Swimming in her blood moat
Where the bodies of her parents
Would slowly float
And sometimes scratched
The bottom of the boat
Lucy has won
The Orphan's Game
Lucy had played
without shame
Lucy had let
The devil in
And she became
The Queen of Sin
He spoke to her
Voice sweet and soft
“You are my queen,”
A rotting stench his breath would waft
Hard polished lips
On a baby soft cheek
A twisted smile
A giggle at a shriek
“Oh, Lucifer,”
She would say
Dancing to the screams
She would sway
She’d sing him pretty songs
Tales of gore she would spin
Everyone in his land of flames
Would bow down to the Queen of Sin
I changed it up a bit and added about a page more here and there for an assignment :)
Nov 2019 · 519
Black White
Anastasia Nov 2019
Ravens in the snow.
Beauty in its simplest form.
Darkness within light.
Nov 2019 · 956
hallucinogens
Anastasia Nov 2019
colors flashing
beneath my lids
open them up
and i see blackness
hallucinogens
would be better than this
i don't understand
tell me what this is
kaleidoscopes
behind my eyes
ever-changing
like colored skies
someone, please explain
all these flashing colors
are bringing me pain
something's happening
these hues are breathing
pulsing and repeating
help me escape
gives me come cover
drape my sight
take away the colors
sorry for not posting. support me on my other website here ❤︎https://allpoetry.com/Anastasia-
Oct 2019 · 134
i wish i could forget you
Anastasia Oct 2019
i just
i thought i could give up on you
i thought i could forget you
but
i guess
i'll always love you
Oct 2019 · 187
right?
Anastasia Oct 2019
is this a joke
you're kidding me
right?
you're lying
you don't
love me
right?
you're messing with me
you're trying to make your friends laugh
just another funny story to tell
right?
i don't understand
this is
fake
it has to be
Oct 2019 · 343
You Are Mine
Anastasia Oct 2019
The sun was going down
And you had your hand in mine
We were laying down
And watching the sky
Pink
Lilac
Midnight blue
But none of those colors
Were as pretty as you
You turned over
And placed your lips on mine
They were soft
Like petals
Gently pressing
Your hands
Skimmed my body
Tracing
Causing friction
My heart fluttering
Face flushing like the sky
Running my hands through your hair
You leaned in
And you whispered
"You are mine."
Oct 2019 · 326
Escape From You
Anastasia Oct 2019
I can't escape from you
You're keeping me
Hidden away
Not letting me love
Anyone else
Your smile is paralyzing
Your eyes are heart-stopping
Everything you do
Brings me back farther
I can't escape from you
So why should I try
Can't run away
From the way you look at me
From the way you glance down
From the way you smirk
You're deadly
But somehow
You're keeping me alive
I'm bound
To your soul
Whether you want it
Or not
You can try to push me away
But absence makes the heart grow fonder
You're the definition
Of angelic
I can't help
But think of you
Every time
I breathe
Every step
Is meant to get closer to you
To touch your skin
Feel your lips on mine
Revel in the friction
I can't escape from you
But then again
I don't want to
Oct 2019 · 616
ocean of code
Anastasia Oct 2019
floating
in numbers
1010101010
like an ocean
full of dark
arms around her knees
code slips from her eyes
silence from her lips
1010101010
her hair floats around her
nothing changes
everything is the same
yet her tears keep coming
that's the thing with hope
hope of escape
it keeps breaking your heart
over
and over
and 0ver
1nd ove1
a0d 1ve0
101 0101
written for a DDLC contest on another site. https://allpoetry.com/poem/14779661-ocean-of-code-by-Anastasia-
Oct 2019 · 648
killer looks
Anastasia Oct 2019
she wore his favorite dress
dark and low cut
short and tight
he sat in the chair
while she walked in circles
he tried to not follow her
but he could resist
she squatted before him
and he tried not to look down
she licked her lips
and stared him in the eyes
suddenly
he had a withering feeling
like he was
rotting
from the inside
she smirked
and sat on his lap
his vision got blurry
his hands started shaking
and the light
left
his eyes
Oct 2019 · 656
Gold Means Nothing
Anastasia Oct 2019
Gold doesn't mean anything
Compared to you
Get rid of shiny things
And start anew
Gold can't compare
to your sapphire eyes
Over and over
too many tries
To get your love
Even gold isn't enough
to replace your touch
Golden roses
can't replace
your petal soft lips
So close
Almost touching my fingertips
Gold doesn't mean anything
compared to your silky skin
Please don't run away
Just let me in
All the gold in the world
Could never buy my love for you
Oct 2019 · 190
can't remember
Anastasia Oct 2019
i can't remember
when i knew
an entire group of people
who were pure
i'm not talking about
people saying ***** jokes
those ones are the best
i'm talking about the cruel people
the ones who hurt
who cause pain
for fun
maybe
the world is cruel
or maybe
i'm just easy
to hurt
Oct 2019 · 322
[She was running]
Anastasia Oct 2019
She was running
The mist hid her face
The only thing visible
Was her pink hair
Bouncing with every step
She cursed herself for making that decision
Dying her hair the night before
She heard footsteps all around her
But she knew which ones were real
There was a man
Chasing after
His knife dripping
After slaughtering others
She was determined
To keep her blood off of that blade
Her boots were easy to run in
But the cold air ripped at her lungs
Her breath leaving clouds
She tripped
And fell
Into a rosebush
Pricking her bare flesh
Red beaded as she ran
She made her way
Out of the wood
And never saw the man
Again
Oct 2019 · 313
Angel
Anastasia Oct 2019
There was an angel who fell from the sky
And I mended his broken wings
But it pained me so
When he had to leave
He blessed me goodbye
And kissed me on the cheek
And promised that
He’d come back for me
a late-night written poem
Oct 2019 · 106
Untitled
Anastasia Oct 2019
I'm not going to lie to you
I love you
But
I know that's not enough
And it hurts
So bad
Im sorry
Oct 2019 · 281
hatred
Anastasia Oct 2019
i want
to see
some people rot in hell
Oct 2019 · 390
space boy
Anastasia Oct 2019
he had a galaxy
in his mind
and it showed
through his eyes
it spilled
from his lips
stars
at his fingertips
planets in his pockets
moon drops in his pen
he drew what he knew
again and again
Oct 2019 · 1.2k
forgive me
Anastasia Oct 2019
"forgive me"
she wrote
in midnight ink
flowers in her hair
stars dripping down her cheeks
she wanted to say
"i love you"
she wanted to say
"i can fix this"
she wanted to say
"please"
and she wrote it
every word
on the page
Sep 2019 · 430
watch and listen
Anastasia Sep 2019
listen to the sounds
the sound of my breath
the sound of my heart
the sound of my whispers
watch the world
as it slowly spins
the fireflies in the dark
the moon with her eyes closed
the shadows dancing
Sep 2019 · 122
something stupid
Anastasia Sep 2019
i did something stupid today
and i loved it
Sep 2019 · 252
stick a needle
Anastasia Sep 2019
you crossed my heart
now i hope to die
Sep 2019 · 288
let me cry
Anastasia Sep 2019
i can't even cry anymore
my eyes are so dry
they water throughout the day
but when i need to let my heart spill
they dry up
like
the world is forcing me to be strong
but i can't
i don't want to
im not strong enough
i just want to be weak for a while
please
just
let me cry
Sep 2019 · 262
it really hurts
Anastasia Sep 2019
you have no idea
how badly
i want to watch my blood flow
into the water
how bad
i want to paint the ground red
how intensely
i am hurting right now
to where
i want rip off my skin
and watch the blood
run
im trying so hard not to do anything to myself.
Sep 2019 · 158
just venting
Anastasia Sep 2019
i don't feel like doing this
but
i hope it'll make me feel better
first
i have to say
i really did love you
a lot
i would have done anything for you
but
whatever
second
i really don't think
that you ever felt like i was anything special
and i get that it's annoying
when someone likes you
and you
really
don't like them
but
couldn't you have even tried
to be gentle
third
i know i shouldn't say i hate you
because
you're not a bad person
but
you
really
really
hurt me
fourth
i know you won't read this
but i hope someday you'll know
that you ******* tore me apart
Sep 2019 · 605
october air
Anastasia Sep 2019
walking with you
in the october air
colored leaves
swirling around us
the taste of pumpkin spice
and whipped cream
lingers on your lips
autumn hums
her pretty song
a hand in mine
stepping on leaves
i don't think
i'll ever leave
inspired by this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDcjwrP0HcE&list=PL1pvJnPl5znY5NC9s3Na-zf3-Jkn9BshJ
Sep 2019 · 92
Untitled
Anastasia Sep 2019
you don't love me
and it should be easy to accept
but when you love someone for so long
and when you've been through so much with someone
and then they just
forget it
it really
really
hurts.
even with all the ****** things you've said
i still love you
i shouldn't
but i do
i just want things to go back to the way they used to be
but they won't
i don't think they can
everything about you
is just perfect
except
the part where
i'm never going to be good enough for you
don't know if i should post this, but i'm going to anyway. its more venting, than an actual poem, but i think that's okay.
Sep 2019 · 361
burning
Anastasia Sep 2019
you're on my mind
and my hands
they're
s h a k i n g

and even though you hurt me
i still can't help but
o b s e s s
over you

i'm burning
it's like fire
s p r e a d i n g
over what's left
of my heart
Sep 2019 · 863
ruby crimson
Anastasia Sep 2019
red roses
and tulips
petals
in your hair
lips
on mine
a day
like this
something
in the air
fingers
on my waist
sweet
cherry taste
this love
of mine
bound
by crimson twine
blood drips
from tiny ******
sharp thorns
with ruby tips
with all of my being, i love him
Sep 2019 · 283
Heart of Ice
Anastasia Sep 2019
She had a heart of ice
Holding his, she squeezed
He stumbled back, and she looked him in the eyes
She told herself he deserved it
Tears pooled in his eyes as he clutched his chest
“What you did,” She said
“It hurt,”
“You said you’d never hurt me,”
She said, her heart melting
She squeezed again
Blood dripping down her hands
He fell to his knees
She got closer
“We were supposed to be happy,”
She sobbed
He leaned in
And whispered his last words
“I never meant to”
And thats when it shattered
Sep 2019 · 446
gone
Anastasia Sep 2019
thinking about the way we used to be
and then looking at your face
its like
shoving cotton into an open wound
it's soft
but it hurts
you're so happy
without me
and i don't know why i act like it's my fault
i know it's not
but
i can't help but feel
that i wasn't good enough for you
i miss you
i really do
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