I always hear the old saying
“cut off the limb.”
Unfortunately,
my heart convinced my mind
to allow the infection to evolve
and grow into a whole new limb
that became a toxic person.

spending time with u today made me realize how terribly terribly i’m gonna miss u. i already knew i was, but not quite this bad. i didnt want to let go of our hug, i thought maybe if we held on long enough, itd feel like i was never gonna leave, like we were never gonna let go, no matter what. when i held ur hand and i couldn’t speak, this is what i was thinking of—i thought about how much i wanted to get closer to u. i think the reason i seem mysterious is because i hold back from saying these things, and i think of them so often. i think of u so often. i’m attached. i’m sorry.

I'm so bad at letting things go.
Whether it's a kitten, a friend, or even the last snow.
                   I don't know and I will never know,
why in my life I just can't let things go.
                  I can't let things go;
I hold on too tight.
                  Because in my heart, letting go just isn't right.
I can't say goodbye,
                  I'm too scared; I'm too shy.
I can't let things go,
                  I get too attached.
And every time I try to let something go,
                 my heart gets a new scratch.
But I'll keep on trying,
                 even if it hurts.
I'll keep on trying,
with all of my effort.

You were never supposed to mean this much to me;
I was never supposed to get so attached.

But you know what?
I am and that's the truth.

You have positively impacted my life,
and that means I want you to stay.

I know,
people come and go.
That's how it is.

But I wish I could be honest and say:
"I want you to stay in my life."

But I'm too shy to tell you all of this,
so I'll hide behind smiles and soft hellos.

Because I'm afraid if I ask you:
"What do you think of me?"
your reply will be:


                                  "I don't."



-j.m.k

and
probably
why i do not want anyone to be
friends with me is that i know
they can't handle me, i am always
too much. i am a handful of
uncontrollable messㅡshattered
bones and pierced soul. because
at first, they would think i got
my life together, that i am the most
stable person ever. then, when
my veil rolls down, you'll see the
horror in their eyes. they'd back
up, slowly walking away from my
ruins for they are afraid to touch
my broken glass edges. no
one's too brave to stay with me
with my broken parts shown.
people always leave. so as soon
i have someone starting to be
around me, i prepare myself for
the worst, for their leaving, for my
loneliness (yet again). and
maybe this is why i do not want
anyone to be friends with me:
they'll make me grow attached
to them, almost trusting them with
my shattered pieces when in
reality, they're afraid of it. they
have always been afraid of me.

You made a visit
For a tidbit
That couldn't be called a date
And your portion was low rate
Like the unkempt hair above your lip
What the **** was that ****?
Inside is your invasive tongue's home
This is my mouth get your own
They're all connected to your ****** brain
That doesn't entertain
All this to say it didn't go well
And I'm searching for a way to tell

I'm so desperate for love
It seems absurd that I'm rejecting anyone
But that's the odd situation I find myself in
While searching for light and yours is dim
I have to deal with the frustrations
Of both of our expectations
And regret my instigation
While experiencing deflation
From a needless iteration

I say there's no spark
You call me a shark
You call me a farce
You keep calling of course
Calling from your high horse
I call the police to enforce
A restraining order
By explaining sort of
Our brief exhausted history
How you weren't a fit for me
They heard my story
Then gave you glory
For being rejected
You're viewed sympathetic
While I'm stuck in jail
For my ******* fail

I said I'd give it a shot
You thought I was caught
This is why I had fought
The ideas you brought
For a love you sought
I hope a lesson was taught
But I suspect that it's not
You just hate me instead
You didn't hate me in bed
But now that it's done
And we've had our fun
You resent me for not being your possession
I tried to let you know that wasn't my intention
So now I resent you for not learning your lesson

We go our separate ways
Both living in a hectic craze
I begin to naively call my loneliness freedom
After I convince myself that I don't need them
So to avoid a future locking latch
I start to say no strings attached

Duct tape...
My heart is like
Duct tape
My love may seem
Feeble
Minuscule
And very unnecessary
I am a tool
That seems to have no use
Till you need me
Then I become an adhesive
I can hold you together
Spiritually, mentally, emotionally
And if you’re lucky...
Physically
But then...
You will complain...
I don’t match your swag
I’m worse than a
Band aid
My grey color bores you
Now you’ve ripped me from you...
Duct tape...
As strong as I’ve been
Holding onto you...
Is as strong I’ll be
Once you remove me from you...
And I will NEVER hold onto you
Again
So every time you fall apart
Spiritually, mentally, emotionally
And if you were lucky
Physically
You will want my adhesive to return
But it won’t...
I won’t
I never return
I am nothing more than duct tape
Feeble
Minuscule
And unnecessary
Till you see my love
Holding onto someone else