you've got a hold on me.
so tight that it almost seems that I cannot breathe,
but at that last second you let me up,
to get the sustenance I require to be, just be.
and you pull me right back down to your own personal hell.
but I love it, I live for it.
I live for the beauteous torture that you are because
you, my dear,
you've got a hold on me.

My desire is shielded by pale skin and spineless structure
The heaving in my chest is my heart clutching the pits of my empty stomach
as my lungs whisper    
honey harmonies
Any intention of uttering my fascination is quickly dwindling back into my nail beds
Please don't go

I could only make use of this emotion,
             and bottle them up until it over flows.

Until then let me hold on to them;
             our precious memories,
             till I learn how to forget and to let go.

I say this to myself
one last time
as I close the front door
behind me:

"Stop getting yourself
too attached to people.

They leave and it’s sad.

But it’s even sadder
to look at yourself,
peeling off the skin
that once touched and knew
yours so well."

swallow your darkness ..
paint me purple ..
tickle me pink ..
burning in red ..
fiery green ..
distance in shade ..
like we see no color ..
feeling the aura of your aurora ..
bury me in yellow ..
sky so bright , yet so mellow ..
swallow your darkness ..
paint me in grey ..
burning in gold ..
fiery disarray ..
walking on levels of coal covered in tears ..
missing the coldness of my fears ..
swallow my darkness ..
paint me in black ..
burning in red ..
emotions unattached ...
we cover our mouths ..
bow our heads ..
we forget what it's like to not be dead ..
spend quality time trying not to forget ..
the darkness we hide while we're burning in red ..

I can't get attached to him cause then I won't be able to handle life without him and eventually he'll leave.
Everyone leaves.
Everyone leaves and it hurts me.
One person can only handle so much hurt.

I had nothing to lose
Till I met you
I have everything to lose

I feel within me an indescribable warmth.
It is the first kiss; the first love.
The first hello and the last goodbye.
The butterflies that flutterd for days.
The indescribable longing for more.

I feel within me her.
She was my first girl; my first hug.
The emodiement of perfection.
The butterflies that flutterd for days.
The one that stole my heart.

because it was your skin and the scent upon it
and the warmth i felt as i embraced your back
and the way my head seemed to fit
perfectly underneath your chin and upon your chest
and feeling you tightly grasp
the back of my head
as you hungered for more than a kiss
the way i think "security" must feel
but you brought me home that night a couple hours later
i'm not getting attached, i promised to myself i know just what this is
i don't think i can play around like this
because i am too emotional and you are too emotionless
and we don't fit
it was just our bodies, the way they moved and pressed
i just can't help but wish i wish it could be more than that