I keep sending messages to girls that I wouldn't want to read if it were me
Or maybe I'm talking down about myself for no reason and the ladies love it when I tell them how pretty they are
It's not I expect to get laid with kindness
I just gush about **** I like
Sue me, I'm a nerd for those curves

How is it I can reach out and bless everyone I touch except you

You tell me I'm enough
I'm doing well
I don't believe you

I disappointed myself again
Even if you can't see it
My bar was set higher than you set one for me
You said shoot for the moon and I shot for a Pluto that others said didn't count anyway

And you're too tired to talk to me

Take me back and forth again
Lead through the sun and rain
Teach my heart to carry pain
Let love flood my scattering brain

Pierce the heavens with my drill
Live by accident, die by will
I accept my Self
I am all I see

I commit to my passionate drives to create
I refuse to ration my energies or give in to hate
Every day is a new episode in a movie about MY LIFE
And the most glorious characters fill me with joy

Stay with me as I shed this and that
If I share some with you, take it
I beg of you, be you

My needs are my wants, I will want what I need
I am dancing for myself as my feet and soul are free

Take me back and forth once more
A new perspective from the floor
No longer will my mind shut this door
MY HEART IS OPEN and my eyes will adore

I will be a curve in this spiral
I will be the river's flow
I will be every star in the heavens
I will be every fern below

"My body craves you like parched senses ride waves, deeply, sensually, like a new life, a new frame of mind. I've found a gem and into it's depths I gaze for hours. Windows aligning with mine and I'm in your panes, your frames, your lens of power. I'm free, I'm wrangled to the ground by branches, and now I'm underneath the world and I'm sinking to your bed and we're warm.
I want to be a woman, clay and you'll mold me, form as you hold me, crack when I'm dry, you'll rewet and reshape my core. Heat me and glaze my sharp corners and fill me with rising warmth and purpose
Break me and I'll be fine
My pieces will be yours "

"Woman you already are. Molded by your own hands. Inspiration gained from the world around you. A masterpiece already. Nothing i could do could ever increase your beauty. So instead i shall take the role of awed onlooker.
And somehow i never believed i would produce that effect on you. But if what you see is anything like what i see. Than ive been to the stars and seen cosmos from afar. Ive watched stars die out in brilliant arrays of color and searing heat. Ive seen new life bloom in the cold wastelands of space. And i really should thank you for making me an astronaut. "

She's strong and wise and sticky fingered
She's squishy and smart and colourful and fun
She's small and quick and shiny
And she's gonna find herself in
Being free

I used to believe i took my happiness
Straight from other people's lives
I would feed them my pieces until
I was empty and void of all feeling
I let everyone drink from my coffee
Mug, until it was empty and i had
No coffee to perk myself up and
All of my energy gone so i can't make
Another cup. Now i feed myself all
The coffee i need and desire, and i
Let people give me coffee if they think
I need it and if i want it. Now i always
Have enough energy to supply others
And fill them to overflowing with
This beautiful burning love
This fire this pain
Everything
Is so
Utterly
Worth it

Hey you. Unique breathing thing full of life and colours and beautiful ideas and grand schemes and perfect eyes, and you of the warm tingling that is my sudden awareness of the blood flowing in my veins and warming my skin, and you that are so calming, energizing , invigorating and relaxing and wise.
Never let anyone tell you that you are made of anything less than magic.
You of the books and games, you if the heart that longs for great things with a pure burning passion.
Never let anything stand between you and your goals, even the impossible ones.
You of the lightness of step and conscious efforts to cleanse and heal this earth, you of the empathetic wild heart and innocence of heart and not of mind, you are the brave beast that will bring about change.
Never let your youthful energy die or be replaced by greed or lust for pain.
I have seen many wonderful things grow and die, but lately I’ve seen a lot of things grow sideways.
Everyone is compensating for a lack of love, a lack of health, a lack of feeling.
Where are we?
I will chase the deep questions and teeter on the brink of dark chasms without falling into them, no ropes for escape. I will spend my time making ropes by hand and testing them to know that they are strong. Once this has been achieved I will be stable enough to fall where I please, wherever the wind carries me. So long as I can tie my ropes to strong hands, and trust in the unwavering loyalty of those around me, I can fly into everywhere and explore every strange and wonderful thing. I will stabilize. I will learn to hold the light ahead of me to guide my path instead of only examining my current state, if I want to grow and stop getting lost in the same routine steps and stumbles. I will learn from my mistakes.
Never force yourself unprepared into the deep and the dark. There is time.
I’m tired.
I’m physically tired of thinking about things that don’t actually affect my life in any way.
I’m tired of having the guilt and stress pin me to the floor with tears as I let others tell me what is good, wholesome, inappropriate, or awkward. I cry when you make yourself offended by my personality, my tastes, my happiness, or my lack of care for things I don’t feel concern me at all. I want to help others by taking away their stress, but I ended up carrying it. From now on, your stress is your stress. I will teach you ways to combat stress and let go. But I will not make your problems my problems. If I love you, I will give you a piece of my most precious possession: time. This will show you I care. I will give you my love and my eyes on your face, my cooking and my prayers. But my life is my own and in order to love you I must love myself. I will take the time to love who I am beyond all things.
I will not let the chemical and material stress of this world strangle my exuberance for living.
I don’t remember what it was like to be so insensitive. Well I do, I just can’t comprehend the insides of a person I once pretended to be. I was so poisonous and scared. I seem less together today, but who cares? I’m tying my insides down to respectable places within me before the ride, so the roller-coaster that is me can let go and let be without stressing about losing something or falling off the tracks. I know that I am destined for greatness. I will not be changed by those that pretend to love me. I will love even when I believe I cannot.

Hey you, I believe in you. You’re strong and sensible and you are my extra brain. You are powerful medicine and sweet surrender to raw emotion. Nothing in my life will be the same since I’ve found utter happiness, and I promise to share the wealth of infinite heavens with you.
You are me, even if you are you. And I love you.

How am i supposed to only fall in love with one person at a time

It was the same when I gazed into the abyss
The eyes of the unknown catching my attention
Haunting in that I could not tear my eyes away
Every moment we lock into eachother I'm losing my memory
Every sight of your smile and the taste of your laugh on my lips

My heartbeat quickens when we touch, and I lose the ability to speak...

And you might be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
You might be my savior or a heavy dream
You could bring me out of misery or take me to the depths
Whatever you want, whatever happens is my fate now

I'll leave my companions to stay by your side
I'll enjoy the silence of each our minds working separately
It's okay if you don't try to impress me
It's okay if I don't astound you
I'll take extra steps to be careful this time
I'll take my inner light and wear it on my skin

It's okay if you don't notice my chest heave when you're near...

And you could be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
You could be my savior or a heavy dream
You have the power to raise me from my misery
But with a small word you could send me to the deep
(x2)

Whatever happens
Whatever happens is my fate now...

You've got to be a grand idea stemming from chemicals in my brain
You're a savior in my heavy dreams
You use your power to raise me from my misery
And drag me from the dark deep

You're the humming in my lips that drives me to sing
You're the burning in my legs that moves me to dance
You placed your hand into my head and left prints
Now there are places still feel you
There are places you belong

You could be a grand idea or a chemical in my brain
Causing me to break down and go insane
You could be a savior or a heavy dream
You save me from myself
Whatever happens is my fate now

Can you hear leftover nightlife leaving veins?
Can you feel stumbling heartbeat tripping on nicotine?

This is the horrible trance of your world's youth in distress
You doomed us with war paint, war games, war school
We respond with war song, war faces, war spirit
When will we outgrow Ender's game?
"Every seed dies before it grows"
Do you take any responsibility for the outcome of selfish politics?
Have you left us here to die?
We are your future
We are caring for the elderly
We advance your technology
We fill your classrooms
We eat your chemicals
We buy your products
We will cry to your great-grandchildren
We will cry at your graves
This is the sound of a billion hearts ingrown, spines breaking
You help us waste our youth, our vigor, our intelligence
Will you help us die?

The wonderful thoughts: pre-memory logs of Ocean Drive and ferry rides blend with wet and warm, smell of salt, shisha and Hawthorne… and you.
Every day meshed of hours, spent with you and broken glass on my palm. Old poison re-flows through a dead brain, new love for world of woes and wonderful thoughts and I can’t handle being around you with this secret thumping in my chest like an escaped orphan and it
burns.
               Oh, how you freeze and burn in my hands.
shooting stars behind my eyes, I catch them all in the jar on my cluttered shelf.
I named my lies after you, and I’m trying once in a while to be less broken and undeveloped. Music in both ears clashing waves, weave in and out of practiced thought. Pain chills and heat breaking over cold sweats and I still want you near me even if you’re just a star I burn for in orbit. Sleep now and I wish you rise fresh. Next week might might might might be the day. Just stay around?

Little waves of haze, sleep, dazed, could crash for days, i'll stay crazy, mind still hazy, been busy lately, but for you innately‏

let's break free, break sweats, get it? get me? get it, go. we grow, in between the cracks, make pacts, relax, get easy, life's breezey, teasing, pleasing, appeasing, ah‏

(i think i'm rapping)‏

Wanderer, I don't want to be the one that captures you, even sweetly, don't wanna be that one that names you Wanderer, just wanna be a thing to take into arms, slow, slow.‏

I could sing, I could do twirls off my little balcony, or I could pull you underwater, Wanderer, we could bleed into each other's stratosphere, whisper in my ear‏

Can you call? I've been dragging *** today, cuz I want you bad, so bad. Can you call? This bed is far too comfortable to be alone.‏

Can you? Wanderer. Stretching out my arms in my sunny room, got room for two. Can you? Call sometime and make my smile run to me, please run to me please run to me please to me i'll run between‏

Let me sing a song I'm writing, let me blend these notes I'm finding, wanderer. Wander here.‏

Little dazey still been hazy, got three hours to make me a lady, so **** complicated to make my face stay pretty, but I can break rulez. Shady, baby, I'm slim shady, got the hat and heels to make me a lady, pretty baby, I can't be crazy, need the paper, i'll go ****** later‏

Can you call? I've never met someone who meant so much, in such small things that tickle tendrils into heart, pulling me apart. Can you call? I've been meaning to say I'm still deciding on my fate, these next few years may be painful but they'll lead to you. I'll run to you‏

One by one
They walk into the sea
Hand in hand
Delivering them to me
Step by step
The children leave their homes
and you can hear their mothers bleeding dry
the eyes that ache for tenderness of youth

Innocence can fly away
To someplace warm and safe
The cold hold with make you stay
I'll be the harmony that you crave


I pull them down with heavy hands
The ocean's grip
Time makes demands

Bring them one by one to the coastal bend
Lay their pretty faces to the waves
It's amazing what deathly deep can mend
Laid to rest in water's graves

Take my hand and touch my face
I'll show a darker, liquid place
Bring the young ones to me
Deliver all my children to the sea

Monkey, Climb me, I am Mother Mountain.
Crawl over my surface, climb my trees and pick my flowers.
Sleep in my shadow, lie on my face and kiss the sun.
grow as you ascend.
Stumble into my streams and praise the sky for the clear water's tickle on your hot skin.
whisper to my wind and be still: the trees respond like lost kings.
The peak shall be your glorious fulfillment and we can pray together as the sun jumps and falls over many oceans.

birds chirp in monotone and music is annoying sounds when I've things going on brain arrest. staring at the nothing beyond my closed eyes makes pictures dance like dust in sunlight, but forgive my impudence when I say that I cause sadness in many hearts... yours seems to fare better but I'm scared of everything falling into angst and apprehensiveness. I don't have the ***** to be a man. I don't have the patience to be a woman. youth presses into my skin like fresh pine needles piercing dead leaves, but I reject such lovely things when I'm braining and trying to be an adult. I'd hate to lose touch at young age, but echoes say growupgrowupgrowup

(Lazy in a letter ) >>>Birth birth birth, a kitten crawls towards the sun
[7/4/2015 8:01:23 AM] Foxmeow: Rising, rising as a sun, a kitten grows into orange fire
[7/4/2015 8:01:42 AM] Foxmeow: burning without hesitation, although sometimes
[7/4/2015 8:01:52 AM] Foxmeow: drawing clouds together like a curtain to peep around
[7/4/2015 8:02:12 AM] Foxmeow: smiling shyly like fuzzy rainfall on my warm face
[7/4/2015 8:02:23 AM] Foxmeow: and leaving rainbows as little kisses
[7/4/2015 8:02:35 AM] Foxmeow: and breaking my heart every time I see
[7/4/2015 8:02:47 AM] Foxmeow: how far and far and far and right here you are
[7/4/2015 8:02:55 AM] Foxmeow: you're burning my eyes
[7/4/2015 8:03:04 AM] Foxmeow: burning my skin
[7/4/2015 8:03:26 AM] Foxmeow: I wish I could taste the sun. Golden honey and cinnamon come to mind
[7/4/2015 8:03:30 AM] Foxmeow: as well as orange juice
[7/4/2015 8:03:51 AM] Foxmeow: I think the sun tastes like brightness and warmth and glory and yet still sorta tender-like
[7/4/2015 8:04:01 AM] Foxmeow: Shine on, you crazy Diamond

Particularly towards a distant echo
One I hope may reverberate these bones yet
May not be for ages
Life's heartsong is thick kudzu vines furry and soft and little creepy tendrils that can break down walls and smother everything in fuzzy warm green love
That's what the left paw is holding in palm
Courage-bound
For happy comes in three - two to love and one two challenge that fever with rampant fire
Words to start a cross-world touch
Face like furry red flame and I'm sure you aren't cold
Take me by surprise and I'll feed you to my sunrise
Love

i FILL MY HEAD WITH MUSIC AND IMAGES AND FUNNY THOUGHTS AND i SHUT IT DOWN AND i FIRE IT UP AGAIN

I sleep and I sleep and I sleep and I sleep
and I eat
when the music dies I don't move at all
when the music dies my pistons stop firing
when the music dies, so does my ambition
my distraction
my pain is not fresh is not new is not real
my love is not fresh is not new is not real
my faith is not fresh is not new is not real
everything because they told us to
everything because they told us to
I touch myself for no other reason then to calm the waters
and sleep
I don't think I don't think I don't think
I work for food so I can keep the gears turning so I can keep dry eyes burning so I can keep lungs churning so I can dry eyes watering so I can keep these lungs filling with smoke so I can sleep so I can work so I can eat so I can work so I can buy so I can cry

I haven't eaten more then gas station snacks and pizza

I haven't bought apple cider vinegar so I guess I can't shower, but I just ran out yesterday

I haven't tasted food really
I haven't changed the sheets on this bed, but I vacuumed the floor

                                               Clothes coat the carpet
                                                wrappers lie
                                                 coins accumulate
                                                  sand shifts
                                                   blood rushes
                                                    smoke disintegrates
                                          I'm just holding on
                                          I dont say I'm well
                                          I try not to drink
That's going well
                                          I try not to love
Maybe I should


I think I should

If I stare into the empty in front of my eyes long enough
I can see my heartbeat

If I sleep long enough
I can forget everything exists, and fade into these sheets

If I go without food long enough
I can stop feeling in my hands

It may seem frivolous
It may seem cruel
It may appear false
It could appear so true
All I am
All I am
All I am
All I ever was
All I am
This is all that I am
I could say I was lying
I could pass it off as youthful ignorance
I could take it all back
I should leave it in the box of ideas
But once it's left my lips
I feel the need to cope
I feel the urge to explain
I feel driven to show you how
I feel left to my own devices
I feel the words on my tongue
I feel the passion drain
I cannot change this future
I cannot change this path
I cannot change my past
I cannot melt this steel beam
It's the core of my being
It's all that I am

I hung upside down off your bed once
               and stared into your eyes
You asked me what I saw
                                    I said the whole sky was the colour of your blue
you called me silly names and acted shy
                                    But it's true, the sky was in you
Now I stare up into the sky and it hurts
       You are up in the blue

Losing myself in the ocean
Losing myself in the sea
Lost myself in my doubt once
That's when you were there for me
Lost myself in the tizzy of others
Lost myself to their greed
Found myself in the South, now
But losing myself to this grief
Bring me back to the lake side
Bring me back to the trees
Bring me all of the skyline
Bring me the Horizon,
Bring me to my knees
Bring me back my sweet Brittany
Or bring to where she sleeps
Lost myself in your waters
Lost myself in your clouds
Lost myself in your eyes, more than once
I'm losing myself in your absence but I'll never be lonely again.
I'll pray for you to my statue
I'll pray you're meeting your dreams
I'll pray you're dancing with shadows and lights
I'll hold your memory on lonely nights
I'll cry into my pillow
I'll cry up into my sky
I'll cry to the moon and stars and willows
I'll smile after every storm is gone
Whisper to me when you miss me
Whisper to me from beyond
Call me and tell me Nahhhhh Nahh
Call to me from the abandoned houses
Every shattered pane is your window
Call to me from the broken homes and lost buildings
Those places where where you felt whole
You drew yourself to the broken
You pulled in the pieces and loved
You drew the lonely ones towards you
You leave us with all of this love.
I'll celebrate every moment
I'll taste every breath
I'll cherish each human, and each little pet
I'll love with all I have left
Thank you for being my friend.
Rest In Pizza

To have a sky that belongs to you
Ownership of blowing winds
Passion that thrives on fiery rains
Timid enough to tickle palm leaves, midmorning breeze
The Cat Lord reigns
The Gentle Bear croons
Fox Queen moon eyes over pounding rain and fragile dust and life in balance around and within

Perfect nestle
Triads and purples
Bass and tremble
Gentle

White ink under black light
Chemicals to breathe better
Medication to feel normal
Prescription change
Talk about it a little more
Read an article and believe the words they shout on paper

My roommate is leaving for the weekend
You and I have Fridays off
The beach is always open
But my apartment will be empty
Whatever shall we do
With this
Magnetism

We stepped past the point of no return
And still turned back
That was the last time I saw you
Whatever shall we do
With this
Ferocity

You kiss the same way I do
I'm scared and energized by your touch
What if you love the same way I do?
We'll never leave this place
Not until it looks like wartime ruins
Whatever shall we do
With this
Animal passion

Whatever shall we do
If we are both attackers
And neither of us victims
Whatever shall we do
With this place to ourselves
And nothing to interrupt us
Whatever shall we do
If both our palms are sweaty
At the thought of being alone

I mean
We can do
Whatever

Sometimes I make animal sounds
And make tribal chants like Doodle Bob
Yee
You're like my twin but we're kinda far away
Don't worry
The two old threads can tie knots whenever
You'll be fine
Just take the time
Work for a dime
And get away to somewhere
Where you can grow
Little limpwurt root

Whisper cold chills into my skin again
I will warm your throat with a gesture
Be a little less respectful
I wandered with only you for reasons I can't speak
Take me, anytime
My words are filling the space you create when you're nervous
I'm on your mind for a reason
I find you comfortable, and not just socially
The moments you drive me insane make me want to bind your arms
I resist because it's not about having what you want
I just want and that's enough for me

We can lie around for hours talking and watching the waves
I don't mind waiting
The breeze fills me with sand and salt and the water stings my eyes
SO many new flavours and textures
Your eyes being my favourite

The past is a present I've already opened
The future is glass
Between the cracks I see non-lighted structures
Do you understand that I'm not real sometimes?
Today I feel whole but not together
Today I feel heavy, relatively
Today I feel like soft dirt spread across a lump of fire
add water, mix and set to spinning in a void
Whatever springs up will forget that you exist
Today I feel like a forgotten goddess
Today I am a beach, in rhythm with myself
I don't need anything else but my rhythm and my sky
I am my heartbeat
Between the cracks in my eyes you'll feel unimaginable things
It may take forever to remind you that you're real sometimes
Today you seem mechanical again, magazine and success in your eyes
Twitch to find your muscles
Is it so strange to speak to the body you wear your whole life?
Who is my skin?
Left pieces of me everywhere today
But tomorrow I'll eat them for energy and feel ripe again.
Don't listen to me, this is just artistic expression.

First of all



                               it's a god ****** roach
                               I sit in there and do things
                               my bottom area is not your playground, man


Secondly

                              the roaches here are about two inches long
                              so this one can **** right off
                              and leave me alone forever

>Light! infused

We are all one under this sun

>wires unfused

Tap me out and tap me into you

>no longer confused

Bring me serenity and healing

>Life, unused

Let me stand as Earth and Mother

>Scars acrue

Battered gently, I will grow

>Ahead she flew

Your place in this universe will never change

>Not yet for you

Wait a while with me and sing of Earth's beauty

>Too much to do

You can help me love everyone

internal, shed
life unlived
cells between myself and I
pieces of me and of you, if you had been
Wander in wonder at pain unfolding
Is this creation?
Am I Mother?

Burning softly, little ember
life unlived
holding you inbetween me and myself
warm little creatures, life before life
Am I creating?
Am I killing by not creating?

Am I Mother, barren and overflowing
Am I Father, sowing and reaping
I am Earth internal eternal
Galaxy, spawn from where humanity will not

Nutrients imbedded imbue imperfection
I forgot you were here, little ones
Lives unlived
Little ember growing and flowing
I will endure for the sake of possibilities
Little me little you little us
Lives to make
People we create
I am Mother

"The road to being happy starts inside and leads out into the bright, bright world
The open door, the cracked window, the rush of careless wind that moves everything
I do my best to listen to every sound
I let my mouth enjoy each bite of life
I let my eyes take in details or full pictures, panoramic or fine
I let my thoughts run rampant and I control where they run if I wish
I RUN THROUGH FLOWERS AND LOVE IT
I touch everything I walk by
I whisper words that I like whether anyone hears me besides the trees
and I love everyone that I feel the urge to love
Every moment is a lifetime and every life is an eyeblink of bliss
I share everything with those who wander the same paths as I
I want to be a whole human, more than a daydream
I want to walk with those who love the light
Make yourself whole and let's go taste the world together"
- A little Fox getting wiser and smiling more often

I will sleep with my thoughts of you
hold them like they're your body too
tight enough to keep you from falling away
and gentle enough to keep you from feeling stifled and
wandering
for air's sake

I've watched you change
Into a fly
I looked away
You were on fire
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings
I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the gun
******* away
I've watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change.

Half-lidded eyes gaze
into blue light from
screen as upper legs
clasp together involuntarily,
chest still heaving randomly
with gasps or sighs as comfort
and relaxation wash through
tense, electrically charged muscles

static cling from sleeves' struggle
with woolen blanket, inner
thighs' heat spreading to
surface from friction and
folly and fumbling and my lip is sore from my teeth
because when my whole body climbs into divinity
I feel no pain

my stomach aches suddenly
for filling, but the rest of my
body quiets the noisiest of us
since we're so cozy in our
splendid vibrance, muted
as the world seems after
gongs and cymbals clash like
titans in my heartbox and veins
tremble and thrum and throb
in the pleasant-est of places
here

I am suddenly again climbing
that mountain, white and gold
heat like sunshine and water
became one element and they
pour through my skin into my porous bones
as I drink

Mouth, don't leak these secret passions!
I shudder to myself and I think of this energy
as life embodied in one small window, have I glimpsed heaven?

I can do anything.
With this brain I ponder fragile realities and valuable truths.
In my heart I hold tender memories of songs and touch and visuals that only I can experience.
With my hands I've spawned magic.
With my voice I am song and laughter.
My senses allow me to sample the world around me and record and passionately enjoy everything that passes through my sphere of existence.
I am miraculous.
I am scientifically astounding.
I am one who heals with words and pictures and sounds.
I am one who loves deeply and craves life like oxygen.
My life that I lay behind me like dried flowers decorates my footprints like mosaic memories.
The life I see ahead of me is like a prism - indirectly fractally rainbows and while uncertain, wonderful.
What is this I hold in my hands?
I am breathing in this moment and I am divinely amazingly happy just to exist.
With that alone I am satisfied.
I can do anything.
Namaste~

The everything that I am
has a special space reserved for the happiest moments
When I am in that space, being happy, being myself - and
When you are in your space, being happy, being free, being beautiful

My inner creative spark finds yours
We can create such beautiful things, you and I
When we are both within ourselves and eachother
We are one
We are happy
We are free
We are divine

Namaste

Feet don't fail me now
Just pick up and turn around
putting pressure against the ground
twist torso with all of focused might
heart hammer against bones
Breathing back and forth, ragged
gasping and I feel stronger
when I put the pressure to the ground
shove the earth away
I'm pushing down
I'm thrusting my body
pounding the ground now; time has quickened and everything clarifies
I don't dare turn; I know you're still there; I'm aware of your presence
You are heat burning my skin when you draw near
You are chills that run thin metal fingers along my spine
You are flutters of passion that grab my wrists and pin me
You are the nicest person I've ever met
Your generosity is killing me
So I run

******* lips and steal my breath
gasping, back arching
I'm not allowed to mark you with my teeth
or nails
but I'll find other ways
of leaving a print

I filled my mouth with honey
Don't you want a taste?

It's so far away now, after a day like today.
This happened before, and I've not learned to remedy
Lying in wait for daybreak to come late so I break and I
fall into sheets for another moment in time
hours upon hours I'll spend in the far reaches
Will you find me there?

Can we sleep?
I want to end the day
I want to close my eyes
I want to fade away
I want you to come with me
Can we sleep?

You're talking of something, I'm sure it's intruiguing
My clothes are drying, I'm sure there's a better way
My room smells of vinegar and vanilla, believe me
I don't like this distance either, but it could change soon
I know you dread them, but I dread them for purpose
I'd love to touch your hair

Can we sleep?
I want to feel some silence
I want to close my eylids
and see what's behind them
even if darkness
Can we sleep?

I'll be the house maid if you get me drunk
We can play games
We can sleep

How condemning,
To tell someone it's going to be alright in the end
How misleading,
To bear this ruse: that a smile is more powerful than a tear
How can you?
How can you lie to yourself and the youngest of us?
Love, ***, beauty, longevity, appeal, wealth.
Feed them a reason to be beautiful and happy and free.

I don't need a reason to be dark and brooding and terrible.
This is how I breathe:
Jagged, gasping, breath catching on a sob
This is how I cope:
Angry outbursts latching wildfire arms into song
This is how I am strong:
I cried myself to sleep last night.
I awoke with clarity.

How can you better a situation?
Leave it.

Clarity:

Aether remnant
Shard in lung
Heavy breathing, caught on a laugh
echoes through the empty room
sensual whisper
footprint of ash
crumpled can
Smell of warmth, laden with stale longing
Burnt into the skin
The cycle begins again

thoughts dripping -plink, plink-
coagulating into a suffiently-sized puddle
some
transparent and luminescent as diamonds
refracting light into white-hot shards
piercing and radiant
others
black ink dank and dark
as unappealing as a rusty pillow
caustic like hydrochloric acid

the tinctures wrestle and combine
motor oil in water, rainbow patterns at night
suddenly a painful thump,
as I've hit my forehead on my dusty keyboard again.
with this, a parting word -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Chuchoter à moi
sous les étoiles.
Je n'attendrai pas
Je vais continuer.
Je vais continuer.

Ne soit pas en détresse.
Venez ici.
Dépêchez-toi, mon chéri.
Nous avons beaucoup à faire.

I have to get this out
off my chest before
I straighten every crooked object
offensive clutter distraction
OCD
nervous as ****
I'll pull out every hair
or tear my fingers off
If I don't figure out how to look
in your eyes
without screaming

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I can't remember anything before you
I can't imagine anything without you
I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I'm cool
We should just **** ourselves