My life began with an a
and then, it moved on to a b
and now it is not on a c
but back to an a

-Kaya

I never thought
that I would be
able to go a day
without sunshine
It was the kind
of sunshine that
had a heart and
a beautiful mind

-Kaya

A war above our heads
but we sit with a cup of coffee
as children play around
with paper boats and jump
in joy in muddy puddles
Who am I, in these
million strands of rain
I ask, from time to time
I do enjoy the blues and greys
I do enjoy the sad ways

-Kaya

I count my roses
before I go to sleep
Next day, I woke up, to one missing
A bit down, a bit blue,
Let them be, let them rest
it must have been
a thief's gift for his lover

-Kaya

Today I wanted to step out
Today I wanted my feet
to feel the heat
of the blazing sun
I wanted them to burn
with goodness, I wanted
them to burn, creating thrill
and a new me

-Kaya

Right now, the only thing,
that's keeping me sane
is the sound, of the heavy drops
leaking from the damaged tap

As it falls into the tub
The sound pounds and pounds
on and soaks my hollow head
It drips from the
cracks on my scalp
drip by drip into my mind
My mind is drenched
My thoughts can't swim
There's a tsunami in my mind
a floating disaster
but you can't see

-Kaya

It was the kind of light,
that reminded me of my shadow
It was the kind of light,
that shined over things
that I wanted to forget

-Kaya

Even your hottest hell, won't burn
I won't be fooled by
your burnt sympathy
I won't be fooled by
your rotten love

-Kaya

The ceiling was my perfect sky
The fan was my perfect sun
The blazing blades were the rays
I stared and I stared and I stared
With happiness at the false sunshine

-Kaya

If you ever tend to ask yourself,
"Why am I always alone?
Why me?"  This is the reason.

Do not worry if you are alone and
everybody ignores you. Because, only
"Birds of a feather flock together" heard
of that? It's just that, your feathers
are rare, beautiful and unique and
nobody else has feathers like you.
You are unique.

-Kaya

We used to sit together,
And watch the sun go down,
And feel the winds slide
over our thin skin
now, it's just me watching
The sun go down
As the wind speaks to me

-Kaya

Do not laugh
at my blindness
For my eyes, are not
dead and gone,
They are behind you,
all the time
watching your back

-Kaya

The knife, held by the mother
against an apple
Is know, held by the father
against the mother
What a happy family

-Kaya

Today I followed a butterfly,
It led me to a wasp's nest*

-Kaya

You were the tear,
that dried up on my face
The tear, I refused to wipe
I let you sink into my skin
and then into my soul,
Blind, I was, A fool, I was
I waited for you for years!
Hoping you would come back
But now I know,
You didn't just swim away
You drowned- all the way down
You drowned, Deep deep down

-Kaya

"I sense a feeling of sympathy"
"Why?"* He asked,
There she stood,
She felt as stiff as a rock,
Wordless, she was
Suddenly! Her mind was crowded,
Wordless, she was again
but, She had to reply and so
She spoke with a voice that wasn't hers
and a soul that wasn't hers
In a hurry, she said, "Situations in life"
"Like what?" He said with a blind smirk
"When your mother yells at you?"
He said, with the same
blind smirk and with
the same blind tone

She smiled, like always
and sighed in disagreement
She didn't know what to say,
crowded her mind was, again
wordless, she was, again
She was mistaken, She was mad

-Kaya

I loved with a heart
That was ever so bright
Your words cut it sharp,
Now, I have holes in my heart
Hell sure did visit me, that night

-Kaya

I was a ship
You were an ocean
The storm was our home
Your humongous waves
made me tilt, side to side
and every time I did
My heart turned upside down

-Kaya

They asked "how are you?"
I said "I'm Fine"
they walked away with no worry
I thought again,
"How could you be so blind?"

-Kaya

I'll sit here, like dead meat
I'll lay here like an obnoxious presence
Flys surround me not to disturb but,
to remind you of my dead existence

I'll sit here, as a corpse that sees,
as a corpse that breathes,
as a corpse that hears and feels
I'll sit here, in patience
as your hell slowly drips
into my heaven
I'll sit here, as my heaven
slowly drips into your hell

O, you must be glad
I could surely tell
I'll still be here, to watch your frown
turn into a vicious smile
I could surely tell, that you have
been waiting for this all this while,
For all your life

-Kaya

It was one of those days where
the sun would rise,
but you would refuse to open your eyes

It was one of those days where
you would cry cry and cry,
till your eyes turn red and dry

It was one of those days where
you would wake up, and feel like
your parents were strangers
and you refuse to look at their face
and barely look them in the eye
because you're embarrassed, you're shy

It was one of those days when
you learn how to turn that frown into a smile
when somebody quickly says "Hi"

It was one of those days where
you would smile at someone,
But, get a blank stare back
till you're convinced that you're no one

-Kaya

Blood in one
chemicals in the other
now, "Does this make you feel
ten times better?" She asked,
"It's true, even the most bitter
can make you feel better"
She thought to herself

- Kaya

My mind always gave birth
to ever-so-joyous and lively words
But those words, **** themselves
everytime they were produced
by their mother, my mind
The same words,
reborn, they were, to my life
My life, their second mother
Now cruel, those words are
Now dark, those words are
It's a cycle, they always will be

- Kaya

I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
I stabbed the empty paper with
all the words that filled up my dry throat
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till the nib grew old, bent and broke
O, I still wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till my throat became as empty and white as the paper
I kept the paper to myself, I kept the words to myself
I swallowed it to feel whole,
but I choked, and I choked and I choked!
From then on, my presence was absent
nobody has ever heard my voice,
I couldn't and I never spoke!

- Kaya

I counted two days as one
I made the waiting,
of days of 20
to days of 10

The wait was unbearable,
you could tell-
Being 1617 miles away from you
but my heart still beats
In your home

-how am I still breathing-
how am I still alive

sometimes you need
to lose your heart
to feel alive

- Kaya

You knew that,
I was made out of glass
but, I was not afraid of being hurt
for I was already a shattered piece
hidden in the millions,
that will never be found and,
will never crack anymore*

- Kaya

Asleep at night
in peace and serenity
Stars shine at the gloomy darkness
above me,
giving company to the moon as,
rest and dreams come my way

Hours pass,
And I wake up
To the noise of the world
Where I rise, open eyed,
And become a victim of gravity
Where I walk,
And become a victim of reality

- Kaya

Stars are the eyes of the sky,
I look up to them
they look down on me
It's just us

"Just a few more hours
and the day will chase them away"
I think, from time to time
Oh, I'd do anything to put
this thought away

The sun will rise
and my only company will die
But, I will keep my eyes closed
and stay alone through
the brightest hours of the day
and I will only open them, when
they rise from the dead
as darkness comes our way


"There's nothing as beautiful as a black sky full of white stars"
I say to myself, every time
the night goes away

- Kaya

It haunts me,
The presence of her absence
her voice, only exists in one place
and that place, is my mind,
a place of noise
Her smile, engraved in my mind
she cannot speak anymore,
for she has a tongue, but no voice
she cannot show herself
for she has a body, but no life
she is not here anymore
but her soul lingers on
the crusts of this home
and on the crusts of my heart

- Kaya

It's okay to be the black in the white
and it's okay to be the white in the black
because, without the black,
one cannot define the powers of the white
and without the white,
one cannot define the powers of
the black
The contrast is beautiful
Embrace it, and love the difference

- Kaya

Bitter battered bones
with a heart that,
was as hard as a stone
it's a mystery,
to be at the place we are now
it's a mystery,
to see how we have grown

- Kaya

The hands that haven't held
The legs that haven't walked
The skin that has never felt
The eyes that couldn't see
The ears that couldn't hear

I owned the mouth that never spoke,
filled with words hidden behind lips
that filled my throat
but, I couldn't speak
the last and only thing I felt
was the awful feeling
of being choked
whenever I spoke
I was creature with no energy
just like a flower with no petals
I wasn't able to bloom
I wasn't able to grow  

- Kaya

Good food placed
on a broken plate
just like, little happy moments
existing in a shattered fate

-Kaya

As death stuck
to our bare skin,
like dirt on a humid day
we learned to spell peace,
we learned to spell love,
we learned to spell unity,
o how we wish, we had
nothing to regret
o how we begged to forget
o how we wish, we could
bring back the gone,
to a safe house
with a bed to sleep
and not a grave
to rest in peace

- Kaya

The inevitability of darkness
consuming the whites of my eyes
and the whites of my heart
like a grey gloomy cloud
soaked in tears, ready to pour
on bright, glowing grounds

- Kaya

"I need warmth" she said,
as she fell into cold blue sea
with monstrous waves
fighting each other
for peace,
the sea is at war

- Kaya

A bird set free,
to the unknown world
he became lively and joyous!
only to realize that the world
was his cage, and he was
trapped in his own freedom

"I wish I were a bird" They say-

Only a bird knows
what it's like to lose its wings
while flying to survive

- Kaya

As I close my eyes
to free myself from the suffering
of the external world
everything stops except
for the sound that
we don't hear during the day,
the tick tock,
The one that follows another, tick tock
I can hear it again,
again, again and again
it never stops
for it's the life of the clock
like the soul of a hollow body
life continues, as the needle moves
away from its past
tick tock, tick tock, tick to-

You came in like rain
that poured heavily,
washing away the dirt and remains
of the polluted world
but, some despised your presence
for they lacked warmth and security
you made them shiver,
you made them suffer,
when you believed that
you gave them joy
With your pure drops of water

- Kaya

In the state of consciousness,
Dreamt I,
of an old flower surrounded by
young and hopeful weeds

The golden light, of the sun
shined upon them, giving birth
to life and life to the dead

A fragile plant
breaks out of the ground
only to be pushed back down
by the weight of the world

- Kaya

Her voice, a cool,
striking breeze that sweeps between mountain passes,
travels across oceans,
and all the way here,
to the places that surround me
Causing shivers, on my blank skin

- Kaya

"You are like a train", they said
"you take us to places quickly
and show us beautiful sights to see
but sometimes,
you make us sick to the stomach"

-Kaya

"Pop!" The sound of excitement
as the head of my enemy got off,
the last and most satisfying noise
that I thought I'd ever hear
but, I have lived through
just to hear it again
again, again and again
"Pop!" The sound that awakened
me and my fear
not so satisfying this time
maybe, this is the final one
hopefully, this is the final one

-Kaya

Amongst vibrant flowers
In a grey field
stood I, a black bud

I lived no where
but in their shadows
the rays of light peak
as I try to get myself,
to stand upon it
to shine, to be heard
but as I try to do so
the sun goes down
It goes away
like its afraid of me
and I have nothing else
but the moon
it shares my flaws

-Kaya

How could you pray in peace
and expect fortune
when you've destroyed
a creature that is unborn

How could you **** someone
in the name of the person
who told you not to ****

how can you sleep without worry when you discriminate yet recite words of bringing peace and unity

how can you be happy
when all you do is be someone
who speaks but doesn't do

-Kaya

Hello, my friend
A friend who decides
To stay with me till the very end
I would like you to meet her
but, she crawls beneath my skin
And lives in the crevices of my mind

It's been awhile
Since I've seen you
you left me alone for a few months
but I wasn't lonely
I didn't expect you to visit me again
you must have missed me
my good old friend, depression

-Kaya