Is this real life? or is this just a dream?
should i pinch myself really hard so that i can wake myself up?
If this isn't real life, then man, this must be a very long and sad dream. I can't help but convince myself that this is just a dream, because this life.. or dream, is just too strange to experience, i don't know if i want to get out of it or stay in it, what if the "real life" is worse than the "dream" i'm in right now? what if life is just a dream? what if there's a whole new world of happiness that i'm missing out on?

-Kaya

My life began with an a
and then, it moved on to a b
and now it is not on a c
but back to an a

-Kaya

breathing in and out
breathing in and out
so many words
the beginning and ending
of the worlds words
the eternal loop from
word to word and to
the sound of silence
the sound of silence that overlaps
a lot of beginnings and endings
of words words and again words
a lot of words and voices
a lot of talking, talking and talking

a lot of a lot of things
the sound of eyes closing
lids clashing, open and shut
open and shut, open and shut
foots hitting the ground
left and right, left foot coming after the right and the same over and over and over and over and over the
beginning of the breath that goes in
to the ending of an exhale, breathe out and in and out and in  
wind over wind, that speaks and speaks and speaks to me
and at last the last clashing of the lids
eyes shut to blank silence a vision less vision in a tubular void
in the dark, and sound of silence
getting louder and louder and louder
it is never quiet in my mind and self that envies the ability of a needle in a clock
to move on second to second
and not dwell in the past

-Kaya

An eye within my eye
like a fetus in a womb
It cannot see what I see
for it was created
not for sight but, for lies
like a special child
it was an exceptional eye
like an eye that will stay awake
until the end of time
the time, that is mine
and this time, only mine

-Kaya

The hands that haven't held
The legs that haven't walked
The skin that has never felt
The eyes that couldn't see
The ears that couldn't hear

I owned the mouth that never spoke,
filled with words hidden behind lips
that filled my throat
but, I couldn't speak
the last and only thing I felt
was the awful feeling
of being choked
whenever I spoke
I was creature with no energy
just like a flower with no petals
I wasn't able to bloom
I wasn't able to grow  

- Kaya

As death stuck
to our bare skin,
like dirt on a humid day
we learned to spell peace,
we learned to spell love,
we learned to spell unity,
o how we wish, we had
nothing to regret
o how we begged to forget
o how we wish, we could
bring back the gone,
to a safe house
with a bed to sleep
and not a grave
to rest in peace

- Kaya

Are we alone
in this universe
or is there someone
or something watching us
while we’re asleep
or are they right in front of us
even at this very moment
What if our eyes just can’t see them
Who are they
and what do they want
Were we created by them
Is what were going through everyday
just a test
Are we insignificant to them
Or do they feel,
the same way we do?

-Kaya

In an unjust world,
i stand
In an untrue world,
i breathe
In a desolate world,
i choose to fight
than close my eyes and hope,
for a good night's sleep

-Kaya

Dear places of the world
I wish I was there
I wish I could be everywhere
Breathing the same air

-Kaya

In times of torment, cries
and wide eyes in sleepless nights,
we fight with not our red fists,
but with our white minds

The days felt dark
like one without a sun
where you'd see nobody
except a man with a gun
you are stunned
from head to toe, numb
having no where to go
no where to run

-Kaya

A bird set free,
to the unknown world
he became lively and joyous!
only to realize that the world
was his cage, and he was
trapped in his own freedom

"I wish I were a bird" They say-

Only a bird knows
what it's like to lose its wings
while flying to survive

- Kaya

It's okay to be the black in the white
and it's okay to be the white in the black
because, without the black,
one cannot define the powers of the white
and without the white,
one cannot define the powers of
the black
The contrast is beautiful
Embrace it, and love the difference

- Kaya

Do not laugh
at my blindness
For my eyes, are not
dead and gone,
They are behind you,
all the time
watching your back

-Kaya

It was hollow, and blue
with light leaks of black surrounding
circles of sun light, peaking through
to say "Hello", there were too many
I couldn't respond, I could not see you

It was hollow, and blue
strange, I see no light at the end
But I see a mirror, reflecting the past
that stood behind me,
to get through, I must get closer to
the mirror that reflects my past

It was hollow, and blue
with no light leaks of black surrounding
circles of sunlight, peaking through
I still don't have the courage
to get through, to get to you

- Kaya

Your presence was like
3 beats per second on a drum,
each beat cleansed me,
the beginning of each beat
was the beginning of a new breath,

a breath that would be born
but would never die
you made me breathless
but somehow, and for some reason
it just made me feel more alive

-Kaya

Even your hottest hell, won't burn
I won't be fooled by
your burnt sympathy
I won't be fooled by
your rotten love

-Kaya

Today I followed a butterfly,
It led me to a wasp's nest*

-Kaya

Can i ever imagine
a place of peace
a place of peace,
where nobody weeps
and live in fearless streets

Can i ever imagine
a place so silent
a place where, nobody cries
a place without lies
and a place where nobody dies

can i ever imagine
going to bed
with no worries
can i ever imagine
being in constant serenity

-Kaya

The ceiling was my perfect sky
The fan was my perfect sun
The blazing blades were the rays
I stared and I stared and I stared
With happiness at the false sunshine

-Kaya

People come
and people go
Time passes by
just like a river's flow
we all have a path
that was made for us
everybody changes
everybody grows

we might get sad
and everything that we have
may become something
that we had
But we should not be afraid
of what life has to offer
Because, everything
happens for a reason
and all your mistakes
have come, to
teach you a lesson

No matter what happens
life still goes on
and what would life be
without these changes
what would life be,
without these changes

-Kaya

you see, my dear
I'm familiar- with
shedding a tear
and so my vision
is blurred, and
to me, the world
is not crystal clear

-Kaya

Asleep at night
in peace and serenity
Stars shine at the gloomy darkness
above me,
giving company to the moon as,
rest and dreams come my way

Hours pass,
And I wake up
To the noise of the world
Where I rise, open eyed,
And become a victim of gravity
Where I walk,
And become a victim of reality

- Kaya

I counted two days as one
I made the waiting,
of days of 20
to days of 10

The wait was unbearable,
you could tell-
Being 1617 miles away from you
but my heart still beats
In your home

-how am I still breathing-
how am I still alive

sometimes you need
to lose your heart
to feel alive

- Kaya

dear black bird
with a purple neck
your familiar chirp
cannot be heard
through this glass

- Kaya

Help me eat

this grain of life

my back aches, terribly

from this immortal strife



sit with me

on this legless chair

let us relate

let us share

we shall live

in the same air

let us combine

our melting despair



A life that tastes good

but doesn't satisfy hunger



- Kaya

Right now, the only thing,
that's keeping me sane
is the sound, of the heavy drops
leaking from the damaged tap

As it falls into the tub
The sound pounds and pounds
on and soaks my hollow head
It drips from the
cracks on my scalp
drip by drip into my mind
My mind is drenched
My thoughts can't swim
There's a tsunami in my mind
a floating disaster
but you can't see

-Kaya

You study something you don't have an interest in and you by heart the material to write an exam. You do it well in fear or because you are capable or not because you aren't capable due to circumstances and you forget it the next day.

The process of gaining knowledge should be free.

If schools are really concerned about us getting "educated" then they wouldn't ask for money.
Knowledge is power and power is not something that you have to pay for to attain it. Education must be free, if it's not then it is NOT education.
A person should get educated in a field he/she has an interest in and should not be forced into learning something they do not like. If they are forced then it is NOT education.

This is why I dislike schools but love education. Because they two are completely different things

-K.S.S

Her voice, a cool,
striking breeze that sweeps between mountain passes,
travels across oceans,
and all the way here,
to the places that surround me
Causing shivers, on my blank skin

- Kaya

The eyes are,
the windows to the world

They see everything
and nothing can be unseen
They eyes witness,
pain, sorrow, happiness
But, the eye cannot see itself
the eye is blind
the eyes cry
the eyes lie
the eyes hide,
the truth inside

The world seals
what is real
the eyes are deceived
by happiness,
that is unreal

-Kaya

I sat on a wounded chair
in a room filled with silence
and peace, nobody was there
I spoke to the dead and still
plastics of life, to seek,
love, comfort and care
Caged in my imagination
crowded , I was unaware  
I was not alone,  
I felt a deep stare

-Kaya

Dear skin, I'm sorry you feel a certain way
it's just that today,
the rays of the sun, you once knew has gone away,
and is unaware of who you are
and your pain,
I'm sorry you have to face
the ignorant new rays
just bare with it, for today
and I'm sure that
it will go away

-Kaya

Our fear
is what drove us insane
it is not our fault
we are not to blame

The society is an animal
who calls us names
it is the evil
that needs to be tamed

-Kaya

If you ever tend to ask yourself,
"Why am I always alone?
Why me?"  This is the reason.

Do not worry if you are alone and
everybody ignores you. Because, only
"Birds of a feather flock together" heard
of that? It's just that, your feathers
are rare, beautiful and unique and
nobody else has feathers like you.
You are unique.

-Kaya

I could feel the tension
I could feel all the blood in me
settling to the bottom, within my feet
my feet, now red, under pressure
pulling me down, I could not seem
to fight the weight that was
pulling me down, down and down

my feet now full, now red, like a bucket
full of water, ready to spill, ready to give way
my feet now ready to burst and set free
the tensed blood for once and for all

-Kaya

from skin to flesh
and blood to bone  
from sound to silence
and wind to dust
from book to page
and sharp to blunt
from food to medication
and a house to train stations
and years to an unforgivable  
day,
I wish to someone 'a good day'

-Kaya

Your presence planted
shivers on my bare skin
each shiver, like a needle
piercing deep within

-Kaya

You knew that,
I was made out of glass
but, I was not afraid of being hurt
for I was already a shattered piece
hidden in the millions,
that will never be found and,
will never crack anymore*

- Kaya

The greatest people don't go
through the greatest things and
that's what makes them great

- Kaya

Amongst vibrant flowers
In a grey field
stood I, a black bud

I lived no where
but in their shadows
the rays of light peak
as I try to get myself,
to stand upon it
to shine, to be heard
but as I try to do so
the sun goes down
It goes away
like its afraid of me
and I have nothing else
but the moon
it shares my flaws

-Kaya

Bitter battered bones
with a heart that,
was as hard as a stone
it's a mystery,
to be at the place we are now
it's a mystery,
to see how we have grown

- Kaya

I loved with a heart
That was ever so bright
Your words cut it sharp,
Now, I have holes in my heart
Hell sure did visit me, that night

-Kaya

The inevitability of darkness
consuming the whites of my eyes
and the whites of my heart
like a grey gloomy cloud
soaked in tears, ready to pour
on bright, glowing grounds

- Kaya

Sometimes,
I wish to see myself
in somebody else's shoes
I wish to not be myself
I wish to disappear
To a place
where my face and thoughts
Can't be seen or heard
Sometimes,
I long to know
What it feels like
To be in my own shoes
To be safe,
To feel safe, in my space
My fenceless shelter
A home without a roof

-Kaya

They asked "how are you?"
I said "I'm Fine"
they walked away with no worry
I thought again,
"How could you be so blind?"

-Kaya

How could you pray in peace
and expect fortune
when you've destroyed
a creature that is unborn

How could you **** someone
in the name of the person
who told you not to ****

how can you sleep without worry when you discriminate yet recite words of bringing peace and unity

how can you be happy
when all you do is be someone
who speaks but doesn't do

-Kaya

The grounds seem wet
like the last layer of a years flood
or the beginning of a light drizzle
I cannot tell, I cannot tell

-Kaya

i found a home
in a rats cage
i found comfort
within its palms  
i found a home
not yesterday,
not years ago
but today,
in my last stage
a rotting age

- Kaya