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13.9k · Nov 2014
Moonlight
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
Let the time pass
Without any bitter words
the softest laugh is yours
By the glow of moonlight
With your face close to mine

The confused tears come  
Yet those passing hours
Leave not a mark
I suppose we are all nailed to misery
In our own little way
9.7k · Jun 2014
The Death of Macbeth
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
Are my eyes just fooling me again
Or is my time Finaly up
Is this a siege on my own head
Or revenge from far and wide  
It seems so clear
But yet so far
The panic setting in
I was warned
But not enough
This is the time for fear

And as I stare below me
Crown tilted low upon my head
I could swear the forest's walking
Full of loathing, life and hate  

It's pace is quickly speeding up approaching  Dunsinane
Now what to do with my own throne
The battles lost
The battles won  

And The branches click and whisper
As I look down In fear  
But what choice do I have now
These woods will make the end
6.9k · Feb 2015
Thursday Evening
A C Leuavacant Feb 2015
Thursday evenings spent with you
Each Growing more repetitive than the last    

I see that you still recognise my face
But can tell from the dullness in your eyes that you cannot make much sense of it  
You feel the memories  
But your search for their meanings have long since reached bitter ends  
Leaving you Cast aside in the sterile loony bin

Oh, What such a bitter enemy is the clock on the wall
How badly the passing of time can damage us  
How our greatest gift can turn so rouge
rotting us away from our core
Turning even the strongest of love
Into a cascade of dust and insanity

How unjust but fearfully true
That our greatest of pains
In the real world would not even be strong enough to cut butter
5.1k · Feb 2015
Liars & Cheats
A C Leuavacant Feb 2015
Blame it on the weak
For they are kind of heart and blinded by reason-
It makes for such easy prey
But such a close and tender evening-
Nights lost in tepid confusion
Although always leading to a false conclusion-
But then again
there are them...

They are the thieves of dreams
Not In search of Rubies nor gems but something that cannot buy you such friends-
A human heart to call their own
A head to scrape along the wall
All to play their selfish selfish games
To have you for their very own

So Why do we love them ?
the ones who make us feel so lonely and scared
Such Neglect Is something we shouldn't dare to bare-
If the world is full of such wonderful people
Why do we fall for those Liars and Cheats?
Such vicious jokes
But they got you...

And I watched you
as you prooved yourself wrong
Dragging yourself through storms to be somewhere you must truly belong
Something you call good-
Well you have a bad case of mirror syndrome, it's true
You fell to the depths of someone-               surely not you
4.6k · Jun 2014
The Hedgehog (Haiku)
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
Spiked ball, eyes lit up
Keen Quills tremble with courage
Sharp frame makes sharp mind
I saw one the other night.
4.4k · May 2014
Sunset Rhymes (Haiku)
A C Leuavacant May 2014
Melted souls
The old one grows
The tic and tac beneath my toes
A last regret
These paths forget
That once I had a room to let

Back before
A ****** war
Lovers and poets dreamed for more
A better day
A bed to stay
A gun to keep The Lord away

Before I fought
I often thought
That hopes and dreams could all be sought
But now my goals
All filled with holes
O'Connell street like melting souls
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
We used to go down by the old dock
To wait for the boats to pass by
In Amsterdam's last nook
With our old hand gloves
That kept the last inch of our old selves attached to our bodies
And the air was fresh
Filling our lungs with aromatic daytime
The buildings leaped out of the river
Making the horizon line a thin slip above us
And we came alone
To Amsterdam
To the handsome port here
Just to get some chips in a cone

In the Afternoon when the fog had gone and the cold had warmed
We went for a long walk
Just on our own
Through the city
Along the Canals
My lord It was beautiful to see it all so clearly
The floating tops of great cathedrals
And slanted open top house boats
We even rented out bikes
Saw the streets by night
Felt the chilly winds return
But in bed felt the warm ironed sheets beneath us
And we came once a year
To Amsterdam
To The constricted Canals
Just to get some chips in a Cone

But we did go home of course
Well you did
I though, never left those days we spent
In the golden light of the canal-side winter markets
You moved on and called it a thing that we used to do when we were young
When we had more time than sense
I still remember it as if it was yesterday
Us in a peddle boat
Passing the Frank's old place
With that love of the past
And of just silence
And we came with each other
To Amsterdam
To the storm of riverside cyclists
Just to get some chips in a cone

I'll never forget them
Those chips in a cone we had
At least seven times a trip
We'd go up to the stand by the canal
And not worry about our health for once
This was more important
It was the chips in a cone that brought us together
And the taste of such a simple thing still makes me smile
I remember the last and final time we went
Just before we had our first son
It was the night before we left
And I went up to the woman in the chip in a cone stand
One more order
One last chips in a cone
It was all I had come for
So simple but such a milestone
The end to my youth
And we left with each other
From Amsterdam
With a lot more than we brought
Forgetting to finish our chips in a cone
Kind of new style. Not at all personal to me, just a narrative style about one of my favourite cities.
3.1k · Jul 2014
Streamline In Semi Speed
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
Alone in spinning hyperspace
Nauseating corner
Men in yellow Hazmat suits
Not a trick or tare to warn her
Spinning up in semi speed  
Down through the darkened air
Sick scarlet style leather gloves
Eyes rolling past her hair
Kind words through the ear
Crushing her last soft sense
Siren's song and burnt tongue tea
Hands shaking in suspense

Still alone, the world had stopped  
They carried on fast in this demise
For they knew that  
Pay checks come, what a surprise
Her with no tears, but dusty eyes
A streamline made for extra time
She watched it slow in semi speed
As love was blood that had been mine
Experimental.
3.1k · May 2014
Like a Beached Whale (Haiku)
A C Leuavacant May 2014
Trapped, trapped upon ground
No room to cry or escape  
But your waves will help
Having a haiku phase I think.
2.6k · Nov 2014
Powerless Hourglass
A C Leuavacant Nov 2014
A good day
Makes for a worse night
A night of being slave
To the powerless hourglass
Full of crisp dry sand
From some far away land  
Where the beaches are clean
And swept twice a day
To maintain there perfection
And nauseating glimmer

While here I am
Staring at it's grains    
Waiting for all hope to fall
And my time to be up
Because I love this moment
love it to pieces
I'm lucky
And if I could stay in it forever
And ever
I would
without the slightest hesitation
But while all I can see
Is this invisible hourglass
Draining the imaginary time
That I have left
I can see the sun rise and set

And I was here before

I used to stare
At the beautiful clocks on the wall
And fell with a bang
As they stopped.
I wrote this during last summer and forgot about it until a close friend reminded me of it.
Means a lot to me this one does.
2.6k · Oct 2014
flower
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
It lays amongst an earthy mound
sweet venom rests on top
Strange figures pass without a glance
Until those old days stop

With not a whip it rests and hums
Lets out one desperate sigh
But petals hide it's secret dream
To make an easier fall and die

To be killed for a small misdeed of another
Must be an awful way to live  
But to you, a precious little flower
Is all that you can give
2.4k · Jun 2014
Dwell's Infinite Paradise
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
It was at one time
Many fine days or years ago
Near a place I had known well
Somewhere I had long since
Deemed as 'a place to be'
It was there
That I first met Dwell.  
I had waited there all night
for any such sign
of a slow sunrise
That seemed at the time
Like it would never come  
So there I sat by myself
On a grassy heap
Recently dampened
By the passing morning dew
Trickling through the grass
And overpassing my eyes.
It was sometime in late June
Just as midsummer's day
Had passed away  
I Alone in the countryside
Just as the vague light
of early morning
had passed through the sky
Unsure of whether  
It would turn into something more
Or just slouch back into more night
And I remember
Remember feeling so uncertain
Of what was going to happen next
It felt like a divine crossroad
Two paths
with two equally likely roads
And ways to go.
'On the one hand' I said to myself
'If the sun is doomed not to rise
I could become the king
Who all would despise'
For I had and always will be
A man of the night
A dark towered figure
passing through black corners
That could be me in royal robes.
And I laughed to myself
It certainly had got to
that stage of the night.
But alas there it was
Unmistakably clear
The golden curl of sunlight
Passing through the clouds
Just sunrise
No dark kingdoms for me
No
Just the prize of morning
a small reward for
Surviving the night alone again.

And It was just then
That I heard the first sign  
A clip, a stumble and a low drone
as I peered up
What a sight met my eyes
Out of nowhere it seemed
Something
That I had never ever seen before
High in the sky
Almost touching the sun
It was old Dwell's Zeppelin
Of course
But I had no idea of that
back then.
As it came closer I stood up
A black frame traced with letters
It Contrasted well
with the indigo sky
And I must admit
That even I in my wisdom
And lessons of earth
could not hold back my fear.
But I would not run
I just sat and watched as it fell
Fell down down down
And landed in a nearby lake.
I could read it now
If I squinted my eyes
'Dwell and Co'
It read
'Traveling tailors
Workers of wind
Magicians of sea
And loyal dream makers'.

Before too long
When the clouds all had passed
I heard a click
from the Zeppelin's door
And then a splash
And upon seeing it open wide
I decided to take a look
At that thing in the lake.
I stood by it's edge
And watched.

And then
Down by the lake  
Out of nowhere
An old wooden bridge did appear
From nothing
like some unrehearsed magic trick
Connecting the zeppelin
To where I stood
I almost fell over as I looked at it
Old rotten wood
with dusty lit lanterns along
And just then a figure stepped out
Dark and small
walking towards me
His face catching the light
Not ancient, not young
With a dumb happy smile
He approached me
eyes covered
with those low flight goggles
He wore on his eyes
'It's oh so nice to finally
Meet you my friend!
Your thoughts
they have touched us
And we cannot pretend
That we're not intrigued
So let me welcome you here
There's no need to hide
Please come on with me
And I'll show you inside'
He brandished his hand
And waved me towards
The bridge that had just arrived
And I was confused
By his confusing words
Who in the world
Did he think I was?
'Its nice to meet you too and You're ever so kind'
I responded to him
'But oh can you please
explain what's going on?
I don't want to be mean
But this is the only
floating bridge zeppelin
that I've ever seen'
He chuckled and chortled and said
'Dually received
We'll tell you inside
Of how much you've achieved'
So intrigued as I was
I followed him onto that old bridge
And across the blue lake
And approached the old door
Of that monstrous thing
towering high.
And as the man turned to step inside and out of the light
He stopped for a moment
He looked at me and said
'Don't worry my friend
things are about to get better
Oh and I forgot
The name Is Magician Pepper'
I was still in a daze
And didn't say much
But stepped inside after Mr Pepper.

Inside was different story
And again my eyes
could hardly believe what I saw
Walls of gold
floors of silver
All laced with jewels
Made up the interior
Of an old style living room
Cozy and neat
Magician Pepper announced
that he would go inform Dwell
Of my arrival
He exited the room
And he left me alone
To stumble around this paradise

'What a place'
I thought to myself
As I looked around
And counted the sights
From the shining carpet
To the amber chandelier
And as I had my back turned
Eyes fixed on that glowing red fire
That had previously
Not been seen
A noise behind me
Came shuffling through
And one deeply toned voice
Said  'I knew it was true'
I turned and there he stood
The one who I knew
Would make all ok.
He stood at the base
Of a staircase
That had not been present a moment ago.
Magician Pepper at his Side
And a small white dog by his feet
A tall man was he
With short dark hair at his sides
And Green sparkling eyes.
He was one of a kind alright
Just one look at him
Made you stop caring
made me stop caring
About irregularities
And Zeppelins
It just made me want to
Just go on
Go on and flourish.
He raised his lips
And carried on as before
And I listened right up
'I know this is a strange vision to appear
But once I heard that you were so near
I just need to stop and meet you
In the flesh
You're an interesting Man
I must confess
My name Is Dwell
Of Dwell and Co.
This is my Zeppelin
And my dog Kato
Yes, I'm so sorry
You're probably so confused
Of what exactly
It is that we do!
Well we are dream makers
The swappers  
The tradesmen of dreams
We listen to thoughts
And answer your pleas'
Now I at this time was taken aback
For what on earth did he mean
'I'm sorry'
I said
'And it's just that you
you're a dream maker?
That cannot be true'
Dwell just smiled and gestured
To come up those grand stairs.
Apparently my views were tainted
I knew they were
I had not been the same
For a while now.
Times may be strange
But maybe Dwell will help me
Hopefully.

At the top of that staircase
Was an oblong door
Hung swift with Golden bolts
Dwell swung it forwards
To reveal it's heart
The control room
The centre
Full of Buttons and knobs
and fancy machines
Stood all along
'It really does sound like a lie'
Said he
'This is but the cockpit of dreams
For what I do is
answer the screams
I travel from world to world my friend
Time to time
You must have known there's more out there
Are you not that way inclined?
With a press of this button'
And he gestured at three
'We'll zap up away
And who knows where we'll be?'
My ears were on fire
But believe him I did
'Is it all for fun?
or do you make a few quid'
Pepper really laughed now at this
And Dwell stood as he slowly unfurled
'Most people main doubt is us leaving the world.
But you seem quite eager
Quite keen to help
Seems like you're better
Than anyone else'
And I did smile at him
And I did understand

He told me all he knew
We sat there
Sat there all morning
And all I did was listen
To big tales of travelling men
And the barriers
Of trans-dimensional travel
That he Dwell had overcome
To enable his ship
To cross between worlds
And as Dwell finished
I knew what he wanted
And I started to Grin
'Please Mr Dwell, when can I move in.

I can't tell you the feeling
as Dwell pressed
one of the buttons three
We sped into the air
and were gone
Like a flash
I was unaware
of why I was so ready for it
Like an Albatross soring
above the clouds
We rose
Higher
And higher
A spinning around us
Rocked our bones
And it was then
That me
With Dwell
With Pepper
And the small dog Kato
Vanished from the sky.

I sat all around me
as the wind rose
The thick smoke of city
That filled the streets
But that was no city
I had ever seen
And As we swooped down low
I looked down
And saw the concrete metropolis
Of another world.
A worse of world than my own
For streets lined with cannons
And fire lit roads
I didn't know why
We had come to this place
'Do not fear'
Said Dwell
'This is but an echo of hell
Our destination lies
somewhere above
But what is travel without some
Things we don't love.'
And all through the day we flew and flew
With pops and bangs
And splutters and coughs
Through fields and through oceans
Past winds and villages
We swung down like a beauty
And me myself
Could feel the tap tap
From Dwell's magnificent brain
And as it grew faster
I know we would stopping soon
And sure enough
Soon we started to descend
On a small hill top above
A valley of low hung grass
And Dwell said
'This is the place'.
And I peered out at the grass
As Magician Pepper
Gestured to walking downstairs.

The hill had a light of mossy green
And all around
the wind was unchanged
As we disembarked
The sun shone so bright
Lighting up the beautiful day
Of coloured poppies
And daffodils
Of the now high up sun
In the light of maturing day
And I asked Dwell
'Why does the sun still stay so high in the sky
When worlds and nights and days have passed by?'
'Tis a strange thing indeed'
Replied he
As he he strolled through
The exquisite view
'It must be a trick
Or a practical joke'
And he gave me a wink
Before Pepper spoke
'Ah yes indeed, you see
It's just an illusion.
The sun protects good and evil
And prevents their fusion'
I did not fully understand
But what had I not
On that day.

A small wooden cottage stood
Not far away
And Dwell in his day shirt
Led us the way
Always smiling and never a frown
And I noticed all of a sudden
How happy i'd been
All day with Dwell
With these mystical friends
Alone with the nature
And hard pressed old world

The wooden door
Of the wooden hut
Stood a little ajar
And Magician Pepper
Pulled it open to show
A small frail old table
With a white table cloth
He pulled it outside
As me and Dwell watched
The sun on our necks
And grass at our feet
As Kato ran and jumped
in the field.
The table was laid
And we all sat down
And looked around
All around at the sights
Of that beautiful world
In a daze I still was
And Pepper brought out
Plates of hot and cold lunch
Meats and salads
And all things good
Hot jugs of milk
And fresh honey from bees
We sat there all day it felt
Discussing the day and our lives
And I swear
In that moment
I felt as if
Nothing could do me wrong
And I was the king
I oh so longed to be
Just to be here
Sitting with Dwell
And his team
I momentarily forgot
About the dark pit
Of my normal life
The losses I had
The dreams that I'd missed
At this time we were here
And I was king
Of this high mountain top.

And the day wondered on
And the sun started to fall
And as Dwell looked up
He almost shed a tear
As he said
'Oh such great fun we've had
On this day
But the time has indeed come
To be on our way
For the burning got sun
Is just an hourglass
And we cannot return once
It's fully passed'
So we all packed away
Our wonderful lunch
And put it all back
Into that small wooden hut
And walked all the way back
Through the now orange field
Slowly loosing light
With the progress of the dying sun.
And Pepper drove Dwell's airship
Back into the sky
And up up so high.
Before long we were back where
Soaring through worlds
Mountains and rivers
All now in the dying sun
'I do hope
you've enjoyed your day with us'
Said Dwell with a small little sigh
'It's such a shame that we must say goodbye
But we've got to keep moving and changing the world
For that is just what we do'
and it brought a tear to my
As I looked down Finally
As the sun touched
the horizon line
And I could see the lake
Where we had started.

As we landed I felt hollowed out
Hollowed out but happy
And the Bridge was there now
Pepper, Dwell and Kato
Followed me on it
And as I reached the end
Dwell took my hand
And shook it firmly in his
'What a fine day
What a lovely day
Don't worry my friend it will all be ok
For pain may hit you
And break you in two
But as long as you look up
And dream of this day
Nothing of pain
Will ever stay'
'One last question'
I said with a turn
'Anything, said Dwell'
'Your ship talks of dreams
And happiness making
But why on earth
Does it say you are tailors?'
Dwell made a laugh
and started to walk away
Pepper shook my hand
Kato gave me a bark
'Well as you know
We are the makers of dreams
The lighters of light
And stoppers of screams
It sounds so grand'
laughs old Master Dwell
'But we do fix clothes as well'
And with that
They left
And I watched as the door closed
The Zeppelin took flight
And soon was gone.
And I stared at where
It just had been
Just me
Quite alone
In the now utter darkness

and I returned up the path
Back to the grassy heap
Where the dew had now dried
I sat back down
And looked up at the moon.
I think I must have
waited up all night once more
I waited for Dwell
Even though I knew
he would not return
My day had passed
My time was up

Days passed
Then weeks
Months and years
I was a better man than
I once had been
And now every night
I stare into the sky
And think back to that day
That changed my life
And I wonder if it was real
Or just an illusion
An illusion like the lying sun
Or that Day with Dwell
And Magician Pepper
I've told the tale many times
since then
The Tale of
Dwell's infinite Paradise
I realise it is quite long.
My attempt at an 'epic' style poem.
2.2k · Aug 2014
The Fly And The Buzzard
A C Leuavacant Aug 2014
In the beginning the grass had died of embarrassment
The rain had dishonoured him
And eventually stopped pouring
after hearing the tale of it's demise
the flowers and their friends had decided that it was not safe where they sat anymore  

they hatched a daring plan
That would lead them far away
they would run away by moonlight
Then set off towards the northern star

The plan was thick and well thought out
But when it came closer to the time
They realised it was full of flaws
As they hadn't any legs to run upon

And soon the sun started singing again
And they did meet with their sad end
Soon they were just a lonely pile of dust upon the ground
Where once children had ran and kites wandered high
Now loneliness beckoned and the unknown lurked around every corner

The two biggest sandstorms in the land had had a disagreement
For one had claimed that dusty spot to start a family for his own
The other had prioritised a centre for his own defence
  
After a long and gruesome battle
Each had killed the other
They lay to rest amongst the dust where once the grass had grown tall
Now nothing grew
just more sand In a prison of freedom

Several years later the calm was disturbed by a figure
A man who had found himself in a terrible way
For reasons that are best unsaid
Time had caught up with him at last
Marked with the six gunshot wounds which rested on his chest
he had managed to fled for his final hour in peace

sand and dust floated past his head
It clattered and clinked as the wind slapped his dying face
Any breath could be his last
A speck of blood on the tattered sand
a mark of his final place of rest.

'Only a matter of time'
Thought the fly
As he followed the dying life to his knees
For he had long since excepted the fact
That the only thing death meant for him was a full stomach
It was the sick cycle of life

The dusty wind brought tumbleweeds
and a few moe grains of sand
The fly perched high
watched as life escaped the lonely figure  
On the ground, he might as well have been sand
For all the good it would do

Flying down like an underestimated dragon
The fly landed on the tip of the man's nose and surveyed the scene
'What a sad day
to have such great happiness'
Thought the fly with a tear arriving at his eye

Before long a noise was heard up above
A swoop and a stamp
A shriek from on top of the fly's tiny head
And the Buzzard landed on the other side of the corpse
Quick and to the point

What a terrifying sight the Mighty bird was to the fly!
For he had been unaware that such monsters lurked so near
But the fly did not think to run away
He was better than that for sure

The Buzzard had began to feast
On bits of flesh that had been left
The fly approached him and cleared his throat
The Bird stopped and looked down at the tiny speck of black
And after a booming laugh
He opened his beak

The two sat upon the man
Each with itself in gravest mind
For each did treasure their families
And wished to make cruel gain of the tragedy

Eventually the mighty bird acted
He was pleased by the death
And believed that what the desert offered was worth fighting for

The fly however was humble
He could see the sadness attached to the sight
And as both of them sat upon the greatest and worst part of each of their days
They stared into each other's eyes
And in that moment they both understood

They both took a glance at the disaster and both flew away in different directions
Leaving the man quite alone
Alone and peaceful

The rain had been watching the two creatures
decided that too many lessons had been learned from it's absence
And before long the grass and flowers had rose again

A few days later the fly was swallowed by rich bullfrog
Who forgot to wash him down
The Buzzard headed north and was met by a boys claim to manhood

In the end the grass did sing with delight at being home once again  
And all this time never did anyone stir from their beds
They might as well have been dead
I've been writing this for a few days and can't seem to get it quite as I want it to be. I still consider it a work in progress.
2.0k · Apr 2014
The Waiting Hour
A C Leuavacant Apr 2014
It is the waiting hour
And our time is nearly up
But what will matter when it comes?
When our waiting stops

So we clutch our dying dreams
And watch the embers burn
An hour gone's
An hour lost
But our waiting doesn't stop

It is the waiting hour
And these dreams will never end
sometime soon
Around that bend
It'll come and end our pain

But the time is running out
And our lessons never learned
The waiting done
Will make us Dumb
And death won't stop a thing

It is the waiting hour
Our time is nearly up
nothing will matter when it comes
When our waiting stops
1.9k · Jul 2014
The Frog-Eagle
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
Born half a frog
Born half an eagle  
It's finder was so creative
In naming him frog-eagle
He soared up and down the mighty sky
Loudly Ribbiting at the same time

The Wind rushed through
his feathery head
As he Landed in the pond
to go to bed
And people came from far and wide
With laughs and wonder all supplied
While the frog-eagle
continued on With his life
soon he found a fish-bat wife

They moved into a pond and had a strange thing of a baby
a frog-eagle-bat-fish who they christened Katie  
Who didn't give a hoot about the laughs that she got
For looking a tad like an apricot
She even made it
onto the front cover
Of a nature magazine
all thanks to her mother

And soon she had a medley of children of her own
While the frog-eagle laughed as they talked on the phone
'Tell me' he asked to his only offspring
'Have you ever had much trouble fitting in?'
She laughed and replied
'Of course I have dad
But I'm different, I'm unique and boy am I glad!'
The frog-eagle smiled and put down the receiver
As he stared into the eyes of grandson
The frog-eagle-fish-bat-cat-dog-sabourtoothed ******
Trying to write a weird, silly poem.
Well I think this is pretty silly...
1.6k · Oct 2014
Upset Sunset
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
Meet me in the mandarin sun
Down by bottom bridge
I'll wait for you till sunset comes
And not a minute less
I'll stare into the glistening stream
Maybe hum a lonely tune
The horizon line will be my watch
a yellow tint the falling hand

Meet me where the river ends
And turns into open blue
I'll be laughing to myself
Still waiting where the pine tree stands  
Oh the orange sun up high
Does get so very low
Don't leave me in the dark this time
Don't leave me there alone

Save the last speck of dying light
with your ghostly silhouette
Oh leave me in the upset sunset
Or leave me lay to waste
1.6k · May 2014
Daughter
A C Leuavacant May 2014
Daughter
So young
In my mind you sleep
Your tiny hands
The love in your eyes
It will be my downfall

Daughter
Someday I'll meet you
And show you the world
Take you down paths
That I once walked

Daughter
So warm
I'll sit along
Your hospital bed
Through your first ever sleep
From the moment you're born
My life won't be the same

Daughter
I wait
Because I know it's for you
The piece of my life
That will fix me forever

Daughter
You're everything
All that I need
The clasp of your hand
I know will complete me

Daughter
You're older
Have a child of your own
But always I love you
The seed of my heart.
1.4k · Apr 2014
Sleepless Serenade
A C Leuavacant Apr 2014
You wrote me a new kind of Rhapsody
But I didn't know you then
You didn't or couldn't have known me
Because I didn't know myself
untill I met you

Since that day my bones are Brittle
Covered with strange layers of Ice
and thorn
Every word you spoke
felt like a knitting of smooth silk
Digging into myself and our love

I spent nights alone condoling myself with sleepless serenades and pauses of breath
I wrote you a love song once
but you melted it
And I took it from there that my heart would follow yours
but no chase would begin
Because you say yours belongs elsewhere
But of course I know that you are wrong
1.4k · Oct 2014
In a Goldfish bowl (14b)
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
I'm getting into that rut again  
the same one as before
Day after day of nothing
The empty hallways full of people
One second of laughter
And then blank...
Even thinking about the wrong memories, colours me
a deep shade of melancholy blue

A strict routine of self loathing
has done me no good
And that most yellowest of adventures is over
that glint of sun I almost reached has been worse than lost
Tossed away under tidal waves of midnight ocean in a dusty glass sphere
1.3k · Sep 2014
Pretending
A C Leuavacant Sep 2014
And there you are again
With the same smile as months before
An undying crescent on your lips
But this time fractured by dark shadows and twisted words
A thorn on the stem of a rose I once held
preventing me from grabbing it with my outstretched arm
can you still feel the gutted petals?
I can.

And there you are again
Back in my line of vision
right at the corner of my wet eye
A weak ghost of what was such a strong memory
And Looking at you is still
like daggers.
This kind of captures how I feel at the moment in it's very simplest form.
Just needed to let it out a bit.
1.3k · Jun 2014
Doubt (Haiku)
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
Dull pain stabs the heart
Tainting love with the red fire
That breaks it apart
1.3k · Aug 2014
Guide Me Through November
A C Leuavacant Aug 2014
In the Darkest of months
We're heaped up with hours
Too cold to be in any way
productive
Too dark to be in any way
Instructive
These are the hours
I desire to see you at
A soft summer beam  
That will light my way
And make me stay sane
During the month of locked doors
and smoking chimney tops
it's only too easy to let the weeks
Bury you a mile deep beneath the earth
  
So guide me through November
And I promise  
I'll guide you through anything
Be it a doubt, Pause, fall, tear or just a spilled cup of tea
1.3k · Aug 2015
Electric Blue Midnight
A C Leuavacant Aug 2015
Banana slug dance in evening, waiting for the fire to tire
Seashells beg for rain
While in summer, electric blue midnight comes to an end
Too true too are dripping droplets on sandy patch
Shore lapping and rose hip land locked in garden was trapped

Moon hangs upside down, casting beams on boulders where stacks of snails stare transfixed by licks of light on glistening trails
And beneath it all, a lonely lobster sings a sorry song
A lament to the lost and the already gone
1.2k · Oct 2014
Friend
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
I have always thought of you
As something traveling
Never swaying like others
Or finding solace in coarse night lit dwellings
I respect that in you
But I will find it hard to tilt my head and whisper you farewell
Because that day is inevitable

And years on
me, dead tired
in a place far away
I'll think of you
One day learning
Next at your prime
You'll go far, old friend
But remember to stop and think of me sometimes
And who we together
once were
1.2k · Jun 2014
Cornerstone
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
Cornerstone of a drastic life
Are the lies that stop us
From killing each other
With these heavy metals
In deadly wars
Or just our fists
In the moment
To stop your deadly laughs
With storms of metal hornets
That nip at your flesh
Until you're dust
But with this
small unjust curve of words
Waiting will be worth it
Because you'll survive
Survive
But not live
That's all you need
All you need
is something
A lie
A cornerstone
1.2k · Jan 2015
You never say Goodbye
A C Leuavacant Jan 2015
And That was it...  
an ever growing chain of chances
Each shrunken sick in manners
down to the pitiful  size of mud dancing bugs
Finally foiled and boiled alive
in blood soaked tribal chants
to nothing but some cruel joke  
In which I will craft myself some hazardous home
But with You
Your handsome and enchanting charm
Always and forever squirming unpleasantly  
Framing My holy and collapsible sense of purpose
Leading me to be caught in those crosswinds
And with not one pathway left
To lead to another
Yes
That is it...
1.2k · Jul 2014
In Oakland
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
She turned off the mist
It seemed
In the morning hour
Of a Californian day
Where the beat of cars passing
Outweighs that of
the mechanical beauty industry
Where dry cracked swimwear
Rests on Los Angeles' golden sand
And where the sun has ran away
To somewhere a lot more sane
And less powerful

She had had enough
So she collected her last tax refund
And packed her case with paper bills and not much else
Called on an old favour
from an old friend
Who drove her away
To somewhere not far
But far enough

In Oakland
The streets were unknown
And she liked that idea
Dragging herself through the day
Without stopping to think
Or admire the views
she didn't care much for beauty
Not to mention love
And was happy enough to die alone  
Which she did
She left at seventy three
Buried in a plain black coffin
With no one to wish her goodbye
Or well done for starting a life alone
  Just herself
Under the Californian brown earth
Where the sun had begrudgingly returned
Not sure how I feel about it. Just a thought about people.
1.2k · Jun 2014
Into the Marsh
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
It's a long journey all in all
Especially when you have to crawl
Under knots of trees
past the honey bees
Or just the job
of staying on that wooden road
When it's so fast to erode

And when we go into the marsh
We can't move our feet
Stuck in the mud
But still it makes us complete
Because
we still have the memories
And more friends than enemies
Especially as we run
And when it's begun
A good feeling
When we run through the forest
No, I am not a conformist
Just a soul living in the moment
Not a criminal
Not a sceptic or a poet
So let's relax

I will waste no more time
Worrying about that crime
It's really quite a silly thing
To do  
And I know what I mean
Believe me
I know it may seem
Like a hopeless cause
Full of holes and flaws
But just remember  
In the sea of happiness
The only drop of tear
Is the one that you yourself
Did Make appear.
Kind of attempt at a new style
1.1k · May 2014
Gytrash (Haiku)
1.1k · May 2014
Answers
A C Leuavacant May 2014
Frightened I am
By things that I see
Questions I ask
The things that will be

Alone I am
in this quest for who knows
The words I can't say
The life that I chose

Puzzled I am
By the answers I lack
If courage is nothing
is my life on track?

Saddened I am
By the dreams that I dream
The silence I bring
The internal scream
1.1k · May 2014
Bleach
A C Leuavacant May 2014
Unrewarded again
Was the helmetless knight
For a hero is nothing  
Without mask shining bright
Or courage of steel
To keep evil at bay
If he's not looking right
Then I'll send him away

If great sea monsters drown
And dragon eyes turn to stone
What fun if it's done
By a shrivelled old crone
Who could save thieves a bullet
And few years in jail
there's no sign of her
In this fairytale

So where is the saviour?
The galant, the wise
The hero who kills
With a flick of his eyes
Well he's feeling tired
And wanted A treat
So he moved out of town  
To a new penthouse suite

But he's still a hero
just sits around having fun
He's Got all his teeth
And his heads nice and dumb
Or maybe the authors
Just got carried away
And lost sight of the message
They want to convey
1.1k · Jun 2015
Road Made of Stones
A C Leuavacant Jun 2015
Dented road ahead
Made of obsolete shapes
Not two impressions alike        
But miserably dented
To make it unique
Perfect
Drive through your childhood
Flip a car
Never know
Crush a skull
Or pass merrily on
With no second glance
1.1k · Apr 2015
Balancing act
A C Leuavacant Apr 2015
Between dark layers  
And sun setting horizons
Something beautiful was born
1.1k · Jun 2015
Sip
A C Leuavacant Jun 2015
Sip
Sipping on the sweetest of liquors
But poison soon to be
That fuels famous fools and lovers  
with tears of a bitter enemy

Eventually the oldest friends
Will ****** that bottle down
Til throats dry up and tears don't flow
And then we'd rather drown
1.0k · Sep 2014
Orange Peel
A C Leuavacant Sep 2014
This silent choice you've made  
Is hung in the shape of a willow tree
Branches intertwining around my bruising flesh
Twisting and churning into a leafy cage from you to me  
Yes
I've noticed it

And I scream out to try and get your attention again
To try and get you to look into my eyes like you once did
My 3 a.m. bloodshot eyes
Which drive you further away with every thin line of red across their glassy surface
But in daylight well disguised
Dressed up in paper jokes and drawn on smiles
That burn my flesh to put on and take off  

And What kind of melodrama is this?
This dull story
Perhaps any excuse to not be happy will do me
You amongst many the piece to my puzzle
Or maybe
this is simply a poignant reminder of the time we have lost together
1.0k · Jul 2014
A Habit
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
You may feel like you're on top
Like a golden drop
On a dragons tongue
That sits on a throne
Of heart strings
Protecting her  
From the blind archer's bow
He has that heroic sick grin
Of he that has been chosen
To slay the horrid beast
Prepared to destroy such a beauty
Simply to obtain a shiny new title
How can it be?

But then
Under the mountain
Minstrels sing and dance
Chorus erupts
As the king and queen's
malicious grins
Last long enough to fill an army
With twisted sick madness
And I must admit
That even I
Am filled with excitement
At the thought
of a fairytale uprising
With dragon's heads on spears
And murderous knights
on silver thrones
And It's easy to forget
How wicked we can be
Especially when times are good
And we feel
Oh so great about ourselves

But think about the others
The pained and the dying
Those who live their lives in fear
And when you forget
That a click of the fingers
Can change one's life
It's so easy
To feel so bright and good  
And get into that bad habit
Of loosing ourselves
1.0k · Sep 2014
Empty wicker ball
A C Leuavacant Sep 2014
It was anywhere at all
hung upon a dusty roof
Immobile  
Swaying gently
Across and over
Tilt and rolled  
Stiff as board
A dusty wicker ball
Made Simple for decoration  
And it's swaying
For no reason at all
made me think
Of wondrous places
A Clear blue sea
Of Dusty desert sand
With monsters and angels
And love with no pain
Like a window to see through
That empty wicker ball
Was all but new
I don't usually like writing about things that happen in day to day life
But this was a small thing
978 · May 2014
Piles
A C Leuavacant May 2014
There are piles upon me
Piles and piles and piles
Things that weigh me down
Things that tear up my heart
Things that stop my breath  

But these are the piles that
Hold us down
Hold us down to ourselves
To the people and places we love
Make us feel alive
Make us feel happy

And the piles upon me
Piles of words
Piles of lies
The piles that turn Happiness
To sadness
Regret
To shame

These piles are how I live
And these piles are how I'll die.
944 · Aug 2014
Wasting Flesh
A C Leuavacant Aug 2014
They the ******* spread hate and fear         to gain control and power
But who will be the happy one  
when comes the final hour?

Probably them
932 · Feb 2015
Untitled
A C Leuavacant Feb 2015
Menial life
Going nowhere
Stays in on Sundays
Don't act your age
Forget what you are
Fall into that trap
Loose a friend
Recover
Love a man
He can't stand you
Overreact
Fall into a trap
Can't start over
Goes too fast
Lose it all
Everyone
Matter to no one
No one
Over the edge
Falling over an edge  
Alone
So alone
But Don't apologise
I wrote this nearly two years ago.
Forgot about it till now
929 · Jul 2014
The Flagship's Contender
A C Leuavacant Jul 2014
Do you remember
The flagship's contender?
The rolling cold waves by the dock
And she herself was the sender
So did you attend her
Last day of rest by the rock?

She'd written you notes
passed by sailors on boats  
But you would just sit there and cry
As she sat feeding the goats
With barley and oats
While you watched from your tower in the sky

And she didn't forget
The first time you'd met
By the lake house with dusk's tender fall
And her kiss was a threat
That put you in debt
When you told her that she was your all

Her undying love letter
Didn't make you feel better
As you knew you were claimed by the sea
How could you let her
Become your love debtor
When you knew that it never could be

When you returned
Your stomach it turned  
As you stared at her home by the lake
And her father confirmed
Of what you already had learned
That her death was your cold mistake

On her funeral day
You had nothing to say
Clutching the letters she wrote in your fist
And you couldn't stay
you'd lead her astray
But loved her from the moment you kissed
901 · Dec 2014
Pigpen
A C Leuavacant Dec 2014
Oh what I'd give to cry again
To feel the things I've felt before
But now i've seen the striking sights
That make it hard to think of such simple aims

I've Felt so many out of place thoughts  
And jumped into some lonely dreams
Drank so many ghostly drinks
Crushed grapes with you in mind
Sang pigpen songs
Then watched you well
Fought armies in my crackled mind
I've Felt the love where none has been
Been sick inside my lethal head

I've thought about the pain to die
But when it's time to finally make amends
I struggle to bring out a sigh
Because that's not who I am at all
I'm someone you should  hate for life
892 · Jun 2014
Death Bells
A C Leuavacant Jun 2014
Death bells
Through Open doors
With screaming flames
Of dark black thorns

pulsing shouts
And single notes
Grasping the pass
Of each other's throats

Telephones wires
With buzzing beats
The red hot sand
On empty streets

Crows feet
With rusted beaks
Who will be stopped
When next it speaks

Rising blood
In my own bed
Angry smiles
Inside my head

Sudden break
Of a cloudless night
alarm clocks ring
And crows take flight

Fly away
To nearby towns
These pointless lies
Won't make any sounds

And I can't speak
Without my heart
And not to you
Where could I start?
Definitely going through an excessive poetry stage
867 · Sep 2014
Drill Bit Head
A C Leuavacant Sep 2014
In the corner of my mind
You have your eye elsewhere-

Even though I may be the dark
to me, you are something light
The one who's face
Makes me excited to turn corners
That is what I think of you

A pause of breath
would make me question
your honesty-

With each word spoken
your tree of clandestine nights
Seems to take it's shape
A lot more beautiful than mine
It makes me angry, jealous
But I grow a little fonder
With each new stroke of colour
On it's shining leaves

You are like a power drill to me
Always changing your drill bit head
To slowly remove every part of me-

You are something else too
As queer as a clockwork orange
Nothing I do will make you change
You can do that for yourself
You're not a robot
Just a collection of fleshy wires

and a circuit board where your heart should be

Your screws will come loose too
One day-

With a pitter patter to the floor
You'll feel yourself tremble
And before you know it
You'll be gone
Battery run dead
Drill bits turned blunt
Perhaps as cold and idle as me
853 · Sep 2014
Love and Razorblades
A C Leuavacant Sep 2014
Life is bitter sweet, though always there for the most delicate moments
Through the short bursts of truth that will leave you cold on the bathroom floor
covered in shaving foam and your own blood
The spinning record that tells you to cut your hair and to give up on her
It doesn't have that B-side you wanted  
Yes, life is Bitter sweet
Said the cab driver on the way to hospital
A close call was not enough
To hide that family secret
But bandages hid it well enough
Velvet linens and a torn Hallmark card must have made the day
After a promise to be polite
a swallow of another aspirin and a bus ride home
try another dose of razorblades until there are no more feelings left
846 · Jun 2016
A brief Interview #1
A C Leuavacant Jun 2016
My body,
host of the latter beast of being  
Has infected me
abhorrence flowing through the veins as if a sweet ****** remedy
What earthly holds it has on the simple minded
What policies it makes of the limited.

Jesus,
Would you kindly redeem me?
And take the aching bones and implications from underneath me
Lord take my flesh.
Have it for your own.
And as for my brothers and my sisters
remove the cursed metaphors and fixations that contain their inept perceptions of identity

Allow the spirits to Dance,
On their infinite spectrums
O We'll make a routine of it.
843 · Aug 2014
Edward and Sylvia
A C Leuavacant Aug 2014
She read it herself
With her own two eyes
A sentiment so enchanting
It made her mind turn to burst rainclouds
and swinging nooses which hung blood red
in front of her  

He wrote it himself
With his own two hands
A penned paragraph
One for each piece of heart  
He had pierced with his lips
While he played like the mockingbird
And spat his love straight onto her face

How on earth could she inhale
such pitiful praise  
whilst simultaneously
an inner monologue of
piercing cold words
Turned her heart even further to stone
She would rather die at her own sword

If it is a sin to tell a lie
Then how could her every aching flaw be etched onto the tongue of the one who is ****** to love them no matter what?
It would drive one mad

And still stuck in a smile
pretending to be proud of his
poetic prowess
she fell slowly to the kitchen floor
While he sat in the den
Still crafting her end with his pen
800 · Oct 2014
Change is Inevitable
A C Leuavacant Oct 2014
It's such a shame when people change
When laughter turns to silence
But can you say you've stayed the same
Through all these years of violence?
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