It seems that all people can really do these days is attempt to fit themselves into boxes. The flimsy kind, made out of cardboard and ready to collapse at any moment. Attempt is the key word here. People attempt to fold their bodies into these tiny compartments, but we aren’t contortionists, so we don’t do a good job at fitting all of ourselves inside the constraints of the brown-papered walls. So we take off pieces of who we are - for some only knicks of excess skin are removed, for others entire limbs are ripped off and left behind.
Scarring us, killing us. And we let it, and we like it. As cruel and sadistic as it may sound, we learn to crave the pain if it means feeling the relief of fitting in... We’re obsessed with boxes, we believe that without them, we would die when in reality, they are the things that are killing us - suffocating and preventing us from seeing the beautiful light.
But we, we are the ones to seal our fate - I mean seal the tape that folds the ***** and leaves only a crack to glimpse the outside world. The outside world, the fearful world, scary, brutal, dangerous, complex, repulsive, hateful; kind, inviting, simple, beautiful, safe. We’re so afraid of losing these stupid boxes that we rarely open them up to step outside and feel what it is like to stretch our limbs and taste clean air as the sunshine kisses our malnourished skin.
These boxes are killing us and we are letting them because we were tricked to believe that the light is darkness, up is down, right is wrong, pain is happiness, life is death. You’d think that people would want to escape these boxes, to fuel their desire for something better, but these boxes are the abuser in a toxic relationship.
And honey, it feels like there ain’t no escaping them because maybe they aren’t that bad, maybe they did some good, maybe they keep us safe, maybe this is as good as it gets, maybe I don’t want to leave these boxes because, after all they’re just human - the flimsy cardboard boxes were made by humans. The very thing that causes us so much pain was constructed by our own hands in front of our very own eyes. We made these boxes and yet we don’t know how to destroy them, how to get rid of and live without them.
Maybe the boxes don’t need to change, maybe we do - funny how the boxes get you to think that you’re the one who needs changing- but maybe we do. The boxes are a product of our own creation, and maybe if we change ourselves, the boxes will change too...
I don’t think that these boxes will ever disappear all together. No, they’re too much a part of us, a manifestation of our own flimsy knowledge and broken understanding packaged in the form of societal expectations and confinement to provide some structure in an otherwise chaotic world.
No, the boxes won’t leave, but maybe we can learn that it’s okay to leave them - it’s okay that parts or the entirety of us in no shape or form could ever possibly fit inside of them. That’s scary, there’s no denying it. To think that you don’t fit into something is terrifying, but that just means we can create our own space unconfined by stupid, flimsy, cardboard boxes.