deadly sins,
              written on your
              dazed mind and
              *scarred body.

our refined, synchronized
movements astounded
everybody, even the
gloomiest pessimists.

12.00pm--
now she was floating
in thin air.
she couldn‘t see herself
because she was not
even there.

13.00pm--
she barely heard
the police siren in the
far distance.
she could feel her ghost
slowly separating from
her bleeding body.

14.00pm--
all she felt were hands,
number of hands touching her,
all over her body, examining
her like she was a science project.
she didn't like it.
but soon she was going to be with
him, and that's what calmed her.

15.00pm--
finally, she was finally gone.
she didn't exist anymore.
all she was now,
was a spirit, while
her lifeless body was in
an old coffin.

16.00pm--
before she went and saw him,
she wanted to know how her
mom was holding up.
she certainly didn't expect this,
her only daughter to be dead.
nobody did.

17.00pm--
she saw him.
just a glimpse of him,
but still.
he was here, with her.
finally, they were together,
where they truly belonged.

18.00pm--
she was now in london.
she left the rainy and dull
germany and went here.
she was just a ghost,
she could go anywhere
she wanted.
after a long tine, she was
happy,
whatever that meant, now.

19.00pm--
she hasn't seen him.
she was exploring the world,
but she could sense something
was missing.
it was him.
and she would do anything
in her power to find him.
after all, she killed herself for him.

20.00pm--
he still wasn't found.
she didn't even know where she was,
heaven or hell?
it didn't feel like any of those.

21.00pm--
she was torn.
this wasn't heaven.
nor it was hell either.
it felt like something,
bittersweet.

22.00pm--
she went by her house.
she shouldn't have.
she saw her mom,
crying her eyes out on the
dinning room table.
she felt quilty, for once.
and she kept watching as
her mom screamed and cursed
at the world for her daughter‘s death.

23.00pm--
it wasn't in her nature,
but she gave up.
she shouldn't have,
but she was worn out.
her death, her dying,
was a mistake.
but she realized it a little too late,
and now it was impossible to
turn back time.

crimson red bottles,
are shattered all across the
soft, white carpet.

pieces of broken glass,
are left there to wait
for somebody to pick them up.

red stains everywhere,
of blood and red wine,
broken wine bottles
are equal as broken souls.
*-they stay broken

his smiling self,
walked through the hotel door,
and greeted his new, innocent
lover who is clueless about his
greedy intentions.

she smiles at him,
as she looks behind his back,
to find another expensive gold
necklace that will soon be around
her bruised neck.

she is still unaware
of his real character,
and who is the man behind
that facade of sophistication.

*but, just like the others, he is just another greedy man with a pile of money, looking for some fun.

take this pillow,
that lays on this new, clean sheet,
and put it over her sleeping face,
just push, push, push.
push until she gasps for air
and is out of breath.

you are just another person in the crowd,
you are nothing special,
the whole world does not know about you.

you are irrelevant to the others,
you are meaningless and pointless.

but the purpose of life is
to be significant,
to be known.

you don't want to be just another shining
star in the night sky,
you want to be a shooting star,
a star that you rarely see but it's beautiful
and memorable.

his soft voice sang to her,
beneath her window.

guitar in hand,
he strummed the strings carefully,
he wanted everything to be perfect,
only of her.

she was holding a smile that he hasn't seen before,
a genuine smile, from the heart.
her heart melted as she watched
the boy she loved with her whole heart
serenade her under her window,
just like in their favorite movie.

01.00am--                                                                    
she is sleeping peacefully,
dreaming of him in an alluring dream                                  
that she knows will never come true.

02.00am--
she is now fully awake,
sweating in her wet clothes and
sweat dripping from her forehead
due to the nightmare she just had.

03.00am--
why can't she fall back asleep?
the horrifying dream is still a clear
image in her twisted mind.
she needs him.

04.00am--
all the numbers are written,
the only thing she needs to do is press
the green button on her phone
and call him.

05.00am--
he was *******, to say at least.
nobody wanted to be awaken by a stranger
in four in the morning.
it was a mistake.

06.00am--
she still hasn't fallen asleep.
she stayed up all night.
she couldn't bare to have the nightmare again.
and now she has to face reality.
she hates it.

07.00am--
her makeup is applied.
and her clothes are clean and perfect,
as they always are and should be.
how is she going to face him after
she called him in four in the morning?

08.00am--
she couldn't find him anywhere.
she knew where his locker was,
but still he wasn't there.
she was now worried that
perhaps she was the reason for his absence.

09.00am--
she couldn't hold it in.
her tears fell and fell on the hard ground beneath her.
she couldn't believe it.
he was gone.
and it was all her fault.

10.00am--
she ditched school.
she didn't care about that anymore.
all she wanted to do is be with him.
and that was what was she going to do.

11.00am--
she watched as the blood slowly started
dripping from her newly cut wrist.
she held the tears and the pain in.
she didn't let out a sound.
soon her lifeless body will be found on
her bathroom floor.
but at least, she would be with him.
and that was all that mattered to her.

you really want to disappear, don't you?
you want to be invisible and
you want to run away from everything, don't you?
you think everybody will forget about you
once you're finally gone, don't you?
you think you will do everyone a favor if you
aren't there anymore, don't you?
you think everything will be easier
once you're gone, don't you?

all of that is pure *******.

*life was given to you because you had to make some change, difference in this ****** up world. and you certainly shouldn't throw it away because you feel like **** or you think you're not good enough. because if you weren't good enough, you wouldn't be here, right now.

he is confused;
because he is unaware of her miserable ways to make him notice her,
because he does not know why does she keep being nice when he is constantly mean to her,
because he is planning ways to see her and he does not know why,
maybe he is just losing his mind.

she is confused;*
because she does not understand how can he be so blind and stupid not to notice her love,
because she keeps being nice to him even though he keeps being a ****,
because she is always trapped in his net, whenever she is around - he is around.
maybe she is just crazy.
__
soon enough they will both realize that love does not exist in this cruel world and go separate ways, until they meet each other again..

be bold
be brave
the world is being hold
by the slave
that is worn out and old
digging his own grave.

look up
look at the sun
it shines bright
with its' all mighty power
it can blind you
and burn you
but it gives you strength
and energy
*just like you
give me.

there tears fall,
on this blank piece of paper.

these tears that i swallow,
are soundless and muffled.

these tears are only mine,
nobody knows the reason.

nobody can save these tears
or make them disappear.

these tears still fall
every day on this blank piece of paper.


these tears are now shattered
on a piece of paper that is no longer blank.

these tears are now printed forever
on this written, scribbled paper.

these tears are for you only,
perhaps you don't deserve them,
but i need my closure.

and that closure are the tears
and this piece of paper where my heart is written.

my love for you,
the tears that you don't deserve,
the words that only my soul understands,
the heart that is no longer yours,
the love that you do not deserve anymore.

*people turn out something they should never be.

open your eyes,
little girl.

look around you,
the world is not what it seems to be.

you are being lied
and tortured by the cruel world
which has not been aware of your pain.

nobody knows,
the real you,
except me.

and,
i genuinely hope,
that it stays like that.

only you and i,
in the real world,
alone.