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Val Graz Jan 22
Suffocating in my problems,
At the bottom of the bottle,
And yeah maybe I got a problem,
Or maybe I'm a psychopath,
Because my doctor's convinced,
It wasn't me it was the medications,
So am I crazy and addicted,
or am I just plain insane in the head?

Slit my wrists and close my eyes,
Take me away to the heaven they call paradise,
Because this world I'm living in is surely ****,
So someone please send me some ******* help,

Will my drawer full of containers,
That once had cough syrup,
Convince you of my issues,
Or do I need to pull out the tissues?
Please I'm drowning in myself,
Choking on my self hatred and doubt,
That I really need to get admitted,
I've got problem, can't admit it,

Slit my wrists and close my eyes,
Take me away to the heaven they call paradise,
Because this world I'm living in is surely ****,
So someone please send me some ******* help,

Down a bottle of these pills and sleep,
Take me away to a place with endless sheep,
To count and comfort me, because I find such little here,
Someone please send me there, send me there, send me there.
Cough! Cough!Cough!
Ouch!tough,
Try this cough syrup,
In no time you will be up.
No infection, no inflammation, no allergen,
In a jiffy, everything gone.
My onion sugar cough syrup is better,
All you need is an onion and sugar,
And a jar.
Cut the onion into round slices
Round rings, not tiny pieces,
Place an onion ring in a jar,
Cover it with sugar,
Place a second slice on top,
Cover the same with sugar on top,
Till you are done.
Close the jar tight,
Leave it overnight.
The next day, your honey coloured cough syrup is ready,
Wish your recovery is speedy.
She's me
chat that
back her
stack as
eyes gleam
and conglomerate
of ceramic
taste that
steal the
heart away
for cause
of now
that mayn't
bring her
down to
this gloomy
bile of
pancakes grief
on a turnpike
Alexander Nov 2018
All of my words
Are a goodbye letter
All of my verses are my attempt
Of making myself feel better.
Water drops
a tree
I hank
here this
fallen arc
yet the
loop in
terry that
a singularity
present now
go to
New Mexico
and the
ennui divided
there with
scrambled eggs
and this
dark star
A star of the east
Val Graz Jul 2018
Mommy I'm sorry I manipulate you for,
The alcohol I feel I love more,
And Daddy I'm sorry I pretend I'm naive,
About all of my bad deeds,
I tried so hard to stay dry,
But the rain it pours inside,
I'm drowning in my own self,
I'm suffocating with my mental health,
And I try, I try so hard,
To be who you care for,
The girl who laughs just cause she can,
Who asks for hugs before bed,
But I'm not her anymore,
And I'll never be moving forward,
But really I'm just someone,
Who feels way too much at once,
I cry at night when I'm all alone,
Dancing with my demons on my own,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them,

I'm so tired of pretending it's under control,
This feeling of alcohol that sings in my soul,
The cough syrup that makes my shaky thoughts,
Become shaky feet, legs, and hands,
I'd rather feel physically ill,
Than continue to be mentally unwell,
So I will continue to veer off the tracks,
And spin out of control, it's just a fact,
I have no sense of when to stop,
Please don't make me stop,
It's so hard to be in my own head,
Every day it's like a death,
I die a bit, a piece of me fades away,
And I'm sorry to inform you, to say,
I'm not okay, I'm just not alright,
With myself I will continue to fight,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them.
Val Graz Jun 2018
****** up on cough syrup again,
This wasn't in the plan,
But they all want too much,
And I can't seem to give enough,
So I numb my pain,
In any way,
Just so I don't have to remember,
Except now I remember,
So I'll try to forget,
Numb the pain again,

I hate you and your guts,
I'm sorry about your luck,
But you're a monster now,
And monsters get put down,

****, ****, I can't think,
It feel like I'm gonna sink,
Into the past,
No not that,
Someone help me survive,
And stay alive,
Because I can't go back,
I can never go back,
To the basement,
Because I hate it,

I hate you and your guts,
I'm sorry about your luck,
But you're a monster now,
And monsters get put down.
Haley Tyler Feb 2018
I let the warmth take me.
White hot flame rolling down my throat,
settling in my stomach like your nails
digging into my skin.
Be still my heart,
let the numb take you
like the fermented fruit has taken me.
Watch the edges blur,
sugar coated nostalgia watering down cough syrup.
Drinking, drinking, until I am gone.
TK Nov 2017
Today I poured out the devil’s lesser friend
For days I starred at the concoction that remained in my bag.

Finally over a period of withdrawal and being ill
I had been clutching onto a bottle of syrup tightly... Unsure if I would change my mind,

And I did, multiple times I went to reach for it
Yet I restrained, subconsciously waiting for a period of weakness-

Knowing in that moment I’d turn back to the bottle
Letting the purple syrup ease my pain, suffering and distress when I needed it most.

BUT Today...
Today, I followed through with my plan
I snatched the readily mixed solution and poured it out straight into the garden

A hard step for me to take,
A difficult move for me to make,
A choice that had to be made.
Katelyn Billat Nov 2017
I grabbed at my chest,
Wanting to rip out my lungs
as they suffocated my heart.

I originally thought you
poisoned my heart but
Maybe your
Apple pie
Maple syrup
Cinnamon
Fragrance
Corrupted my lungs and
Turned them evil.

They squeeze together and
Dis-form  themselves just to hurt
My heart.

I cant breath when I think of you,
No, not in a good way.
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