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1:00 am, 3:00 am ... most nights,
thirty minutes without warning,
restless air, chokes the pipes
when controlled, it explodes in bits
of yellow, orange , dark red and gray
skull seems to ***** ... or , is it breaking now?
a darkness follows a wheezing,
desiring to spew all malaise  
expelling bad air, while chasing fresh air
praying a stillness soon rules .... . but , no,
the painful exertion persists
that  disturbing noise just goes on,
and racks one's whole being ... one's world
every rib quivers ... every fiber throbs  
eyes and veins start to bulge
as if to burst on their own...

,, ,, , for a while, a calm occurs ... yet ,
another dreaded episode lurks...

on a dark, restless night such as this,
one can only imagine
~ ~ ~ the undulating waves ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ and the blue waters ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ of the tranquil sea ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~
Sally
~ ~ ~

Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
March 20, 2019

#dreaded episodes  #malaise  #severe cough
Val Graz Jan 22
Suffocating in my problems,
At the bottom of the bottle,
And yeah maybe I got a problem,
Or maybe I'm a psychopath,
Because my doctor's convinced,
It wasn't me it was the medications,
So am I crazy and addicted,
or am I just plain insane in the head?

Slit my wrists and close my eyes,
Take me away to the heaven they call paradise,
Because this world I'm living in is surely ****,
So someone please send me some ******* help,

Will my drawer full of containers,
That once had cough syrup,
Convince you of my issues,
Or do I need to pull out the tissues?
Please I'm drowning in myself,
Choking on my self hatred and doubt,
That I really need to get admitted,
I've got problem, can't admit it,

Slit my wrists and close my eyes,
Take me away to the heaven they call paradise,
Because this world I'm living in is surely ****,
So someone please send me some ******* help,

Down a bottle of these pills and sleep,
Take me away to a place with endless sheep,
To count and comfort me, because I find such little here,
Someone please send me there, send me there, send me there.
Cough! Cough!Cough!
Ouch!tough,
Try this cough syrup,
In no time you will be up.
No infection, no inflammation, no allergen,
In a jiffy, everything gone.
My onion sugar cough syrup is better,
All you need is an onion and sugar,
And a jar.
Cut the onion into round slices
Round rings, not tiny pieces,
Place an onion ring in a jar,
Cover it with sugar,
Place a second slice on top,
Cover the same with sugar on top,
Till you are done.
Close the jar tight,
Leave it overnight.
The next day, your honey coloured cough syrup is ready,
Wish your recovery is speedy.
Abby M Dec 2018
His heart beat in two
And mine was in three
Our cadence was always just off
But I switched to a two
One bright afternoon
When I missed a beat trying to cough
Anne J Dec 2018
cough and sneezing at day
headache and wheezy at the night
teatime cure needed now
I had to leave school early because I was sick asf. I've missed 7 days of school so far...ugh I hate my immune system's weakness :( I know that I'll be getting even more sick in the future?
cupid Nov 2018
my favorite flavor is cinnamon
something sweet that burns at the same time
my throat hurts so much
my coughing is so violent it makes me gag
and i choose black cinnamon tea
i choose burning hot caffeine
an auburn elixir with honey
a faint sweet taste on my singed lips
the heated mug in my hands
is an unknown sensation to my ice filled veins
my fragile and frosted body reacts as if molten steel was forced down my throat
but it’s only robust, dry cinnamon mixed with honey
it’s only a warm drink to soothe my throat
it’s my favorite
!!!!i have allergies!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i keep coughing so hard
it makes me heave
Alexander Nov 2018
All of my words
Are a goodbye letter
All of my verses are my attempt
Of making myself feel better.
Water drops
Andrew Nov 2017
I scoffed at my minor cough
Until I was immobile as a sloth
I had to press pause on my life's tale
After I became a beached whale
And my body turned frail
In my illness jail

My stoic resolve tested
My pain threshold crested
The way I act is antisocial
The way I feel is anti-hopeful
For I treat others poorly
When I'm hurting sorely

In sickness for health
I give away my wealth
To feel one hundred percent
That's the physician's intent
To make me experience drainage
But I need the healing medicine
So I can practice the discipline
Of removing my diseased shark's fin

Ramses II, known as Ramesses the Great
Had a permanently fractured finger
And his teeth were significantly rotten
The pharaoh's excruciating pain
Must have effected his reign
A massive amount of men slain
Is discomfort what's to blame?

When there's no pain relief
We give each other grief
And there's a lion with a thorn stuck in its paw
Eventually that simple thorn becomes a claw
Val Graz Jul 2018
Mommy I'm sorry I manipulate you for,
The alcohol I feel I love more,
And Daddy I'm sorry I pretend I'm naive,
About all of my bad deeds,
I tried so hard to stay dry,
But the rain it pours inside,
I'm drowning in my own self,
I'm suffocating with my mental health,
And I try, I try so hard,
To be who you care for,
The girl who laughs just cause she can,
Who asks for hugs before bed,
But I'm not her anymore,
And I'll never be moving forward,
But really I'm just someone,
Who feels way too much at once,
I cry at night when I'm all alone,
Dancing with my demons on my own,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them,

I'm so tired of pretending it's under control,
This feeling of alcohol that sings in my soul,
The cough syrup that makes my shaky thoughts,
Become shaky feet, legs, and hands,
I'd rather feel physically ill,
Than continue to be mentally unwell,
So I will continue to veer off the tracks,
And spin out of control, it's just a fact,
I have no sense of when to stop,
Please don't make me stop,
It's so hard to be in my own head,
Every day it's like a death,
I die a bit, a piece of me fades away,
And I'm sorry to inform you, to say,
I'm not okay, I'm just not alright,
With myself I will continue to fight,

Please don't hate me, I couldn't survive,
I do that enough for myself, and I can no longer hide,
That I don't have a problem with substances,
That I can recognize when I've had enough of them.
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