dancing on a moonless night
the air is cold
stars the only light
a lacy white dress
flowing with her movement
is she porcelain
or is she human
a music box plays
while she slowly spins
her limbs held together
with staples and pins
sweet tinklings and chimes
while she closes her eyes
trapped in a hell
a soft gentle demise
winding down
the music slows
to staccato notes
there is no flow
just jerky beats
eventually

silence

my hands reach for the key

What have you done to me
The things you've done
Back and forth
You mess with my mind
I'm close to insanity
What kind of love
Take you brain
And switches it
With your heart

When it hurts to breathe
I have to stop

Don't I?

Dragging bodies
Against the concrete ground
Is not nearly as much fun
Without you
To lick the blood
From your fingers
And smile
Your crooked grin

The sun kisses your shoulders
As I yearn to do
We'll hide under rock
Sand beneath our bare feet
Footsteps revealing our thought
Saltwater cascades from the upper lip of our sanctuary
Our arms will hug our knees
While we act like children again
We'll close our eyes
And listen to the sound of ocean spray
Then I'll feel your lips against my ear
Whispering
"I'm glad to be by your side"

I often dream
Of your arms
Rocking me to sleep
Soft eyes
Like blankets
Warming over me
My heart
Beats fast
But I
Breathe slow
Your body
next to me
Souls
Tender kisses
Fingers
On my skin
Love
Is my reason
For living
❤

today i set aside
all the pain you've given me
and daydreamed about
all the days you've spent with me
about feathery kisses
and gentle touches
paint splatters
and pencil smudges
blurry photos
on an old camera
of a vanilla sweet boy
far more than average
soft hands holding mine
pressed together
fingers entwined

I want to drown
I want to breathe the water in
And never breathe out again
I want the salt water to burn the fresh cuts in my wrists
I want the dark to cradle me as I float into never ending sleep
I want to drift off
with no sign of life
I want to drown

don't you hate it
when you want to cry
but you can't
because your eyes are too dry

roses
dusty
soft,
lips
the same
soft color
eyes
the blue of the sky
soft clouds
drifting through them
a smile
that makes me fall
a drift
like a feather
i'd like
to kiss
your
petal
soft
lips

early morning
and I am warm
still bleary,
but content
while I listen to cavetown
and wonder when I'll see you today
perhaps soon
and maybe
you will like the drawing I made for you

Underneath the surface
At the edge of the deep
Lie beasts and monsters
Ready to reap
Feeding on fear,
Flesh and blood
Just one taste
Is never enough

e  m  p
  t   y
    m
    e

of my s o u l

e m p t y  s p a c e s

fill up my mind

I can't escape from you
You're keeping me
Hidden away
Not letting me love
Anyone else
Your smile is paralyzing
Your eyes are heart-stopping
Everything you do
Brings me back farther
I can't escape from you
So why should I try
Can't run away
From the way you look at me
From the way you glance down
From the way you smirk
You're deadly
But somehow
You're keeping me alive
I'm bound
To your soul
Whether you want it
Or not
You can try to push me away
But absence makes the heart grow fonder
You're the definition
Of angelic
I can't help
But think of you
Every time
I breathe
Every step
Is meant to get closer to you
To touch your skin
Feel your lips on mine
Revel in the friction
I can't escape from you
But then again
I don't want to

You are bliss
Definition of euphoria
Taste of never-ending perfect
Oh, how I wish you were mine
A kiss from you
Melting me
Into a pool of warm ice
And honey blossoms
Drowning me in dopamine
Flashes of adrenaline
Pulsing through my veins
Laced with sugar
And your perfume

i risk
my existence
as i fall
into you

a burning passion
so hot
it set my heart on fire
a freezing distance
so cold
it froze the tears in my eyes
a yearn for friction
so urgent
my skin cried for love

Your eyes
Ice in
A pool of lava
Cool stones
Against feverish flesh
An ocean
Against the lips of a desert
Your beautiful
Blue
Eyes

Tonight
Is dark
My breath
Is shallow
I should sleep
But I'm not ready
Ready to face my dreams
The truth in my nightmares
To be honest,
I'm scared
Scared of my own mind
Of what's inside my head

You were born with fear of the unknown
Afraid of the dark
Of being alone
You were born with fear
It lit up your eyes
and set your brain on fire
And I wanted to protect you

~

One day that fire was quenched
Your love washed over me
And drowned it out
I stay in the dark
In between your arms
And you protected me
I was born with fear of the unknown
And I lived with the love of you

The sky is a dull grey-azure
But you shimmer like tear-filled eyes
Gauze flowing around your ankles
Feet barely touching the dewy grass below you
Twirling as the storm ascends above
Your bones are cold
But you dance as if there's fire lit beneath you
Your lips don't move
But poetry seeps from your mouth
Pasting to your body
Flowing into the sky
Lightning strikes with every other step
The pouring words wrap around you
Until you are bound with your own rhythmical tourniquet

I caught fireflies
Alone last night
Even though
You were right across the street
When the streetlights
Turned on
You were still gone
And I caught
Fireflies
Alone

Colored lights, spiraling in the sky
Dots of bright star-like colors
sprinkled across the heavens
I could see the fireworks in your eyes,
like a jeweled galaxy
I wish I could feel
those fireworks in my heart again.

roses in my ribs
lilies on my lips
pearls in my pockets
tulips on my tongue
honeysuckles on my heart
tiger flowers on my thighs
marigolds on my mirror

i have a question
for the boy without wings
with a twinkle in his eyes
who collects many things
dear boy, might i ask
why do you try
when you already know
it's impossible to fly

what is this
this binding force
why is it here
to torment me, i suppose
leave me
i say
but it seems like the only ones who listen
to that demanding command
are the people i love

"forgive me"
she wrote
in midnight ink
flowers in her hair
stars dripping down her cheeks
she wanted to say
"i love you"
she wanted to say
"i can fix this"
she wanted to say
"please"
and she wrote it
every word
on the page

Forgive me
Lovely boy
For leaving you
All alone
For letting you cry
And crushing your roses
I promise
I will stay with you
And let you lie on me
While got tears paint your cheeks
And I will plant roses
With you

a trembling child
a fragile heart
"handle with care"
he was labeled from the start
growing up
the tossed him around
rough words from dry mouths
the string was tightly wound
it was filled with cracks
band-aids and fissures
more fragile than a feather
lighter than a whisper
all he wished for
was for someone kind
to take it in their hands
and give it time
time to heal
so he could love
but to everyone else
he just wasn't enough

This chaos is fragile
Inside my brain
Made up of you
And this heartbreaking pain
I need you to tell me
I'll be okay
Three simple words
I need you to say
A day
Feel empty
Without you in it
Life
Is a game
And I want to finish
"I love you"
Would be so sweet
I'm so cold
And I need your best
Lonely hearts
Don't do well alone
My heart is made of glass
And you're throwing stones

I built myself a garden
I locked myself inside
All the flowers smelled like you
Until they released their pollen
And it clung to my lungs
Mucous lining my throat
Keeping me from breathing
When the blooms became overgrown
The vines creeped up my legs
Wrapping around my waist
And as the thorns hooked themselves beneath my skin
Poison flowing through them into my veins
Like an IV of pain and suffering
They pulled me around that god forsaken garden
Like a marionette of flesh, blood, and reluctant willingness
I remember the bees buzzing your name
Cheerfully at first
And then the droning became painful
Until my ears oozed
And my brain felt as if it would spill out from them
And when it did
It fell into a pile beside me
And it grew into tree
Releasing a new kind of oxygen
That clouded my judgement
I became addicted
I fell in love with being used
I fell in love with being blind
I fell in love with being broken down
I fell in love with the pain.
And when summer ended
And autumn began
The flowers shriveled
And suddenly I could breathe
And the bees returned to their hive to sleep
And suddenly I could hear my own cries for help
And the vines loosened
And the fruit the tree bore fell
And when I took a bite
It seemed to travel to my skull
And replaced the hole where my brain used to be
And
And suddenly I could think.
Suddenly I could understand
This wasn't love.
It isn't love.
So I ripped open my ribcage
And I tore into my heart
And pulled out a key
Covered in sinew and blood and fragments of the bones that grew a shell around it
And I unlocked that ****** gate
That had grown so small
I crawled through
And walked away
But after some time
The garden called to me
And when I returned,
Stupid stupid me,
I was reluctant
But the flowers smelled sweeter
And the bees were singing softly
And tree was in bloom
And the petals gently kissed the grass
And I let myself be consumed once again
But this time I had armed myself
And when the vines extended themselves towards my limbs
And the bees screamed angrily
And the flowers on the tree began to rot and die
I pulled out my weapon
I lit a match with the fire that was started within me
And I threw it into the center of the garden
And I burned that ******* to the ground.

you're a ghost
in my head
but you're not
even dead
haunting me
with the words
you said

i lost you
the one i love the most
i'm scared of you
scared of your ghost
you're killing me
stuck in my head
haunting me
though you're not even dead
you're stuck there
floating in my mind
hurting me
every second, all the time
you're gone
but you're still here
taunting me
filling me with fear

A girl, made of glass.
A boy, made of brass.
Hearts of paper.
Tears turn to vapor.
Not enough time.
They say it’s fine.
Hearts turn to ashes.
Skin burning, from the lashes.
Liars sell their secrets and lies.
While every rose slowly dies.

I found a piece of glass in my bed this morning
Perhaps
My dreams
Were meant to bleed

She looked at me, and gave me that stupid, yet adorable, look she gave someone when she was confused.
Eyes sparkling, her head slightly cocked to the side.
I sighed and answered her question.

“You have galaxies in your eyes.
Sometimes, I have no control, I feel like I’m drowning, but then, you’re here.
And then I’m drowning in those eyes, floating in that ocean of stars.
You can walk in the rain if you want, and you can think no one can see you cry, but I can.
I can tell, when your eyes are red and puffy, how you put on extra makeup and nice clothes when you want attention, you can burn everyone that comes close to you, but it won’t help.
I know that feeling when you’re trapped in your mind, no way out. When you know the sun is there, shining, but there are blackout curtains, over your eyes, and it’s been so dark, for so long, that you can’t even tell if the sun even still burns.
When you feel like you’re going nowhere.
Well, I don’t care if you burn me. I can stand the heat, because love, I’ve been cold all my life.
And if you’re going nowhere, then buy me a ticket, because I’m going with you.”

As you were bathed in gold
And the whole world shook around us
All I could think was:
You are so beautiful

While you smiled at the distance
And the serenely lit landscape turned into a blur
Running through my mind was:
I'm so lucky to have loved you

When I couldn't look away
And I stared at the most precious thing no one could ever possess
Hammering into my mind was:
You are the only thing I could ever need

Gold doesn't mean anything
Compared to you
Get rid of shiny things
And start anew
Gold can't compare
to your sapphire eyes
Over and over
too many tries
To get your love
Even gold isn't enough
to replace your touch
Golden roses
can't replace
your petal soft lips
So close
Almost touching my fingertips
Gold doesn't mean anything
compared to your silky skin
Please don't run away
Just let me in
All the gold in the world
Could never buy my love for you

thinking about the way we used to be
and then looking at your face
its like
shoving cotton into an open wound
it's soft
but it hurts
you're so happy
without me
and i don't know why i act like it's my fault
i know it's not
but
i can't help but feel
that i wasn't good enough for you
i miss you
i really do

Weeds grow from beneath my fingernails
Flowers blossom in my lungs
Petals blooming from my throat
I can no longer breathe
I can no longer reach
For the distant dream
Of loving you

she was a vigilant child
ignoring the thoughts of fantasy
she lived without joy and dreams
she knew there was no such thing as eternity
her mother was ignorant
overcome by a dreaming abyss
it was a false ecstasy
blinded by bliss
she was careful to avoid
making stupid mistakes
hope was the enemy
false dreams were sure to devastate
to keep herself safe
she was careful not to trust
her heart had a shell
and she let the lock rust
she never let her guard down
she was immune to things like love
joy and dreams and happiness
those things she was above
her infatuation was a treasure
covered in dust
immune to sweetness
she did what she must
to block all emotion
avoid all fears
she grew up when she was young
she shed no tears

colors flashing
beneath my lids
open them up
and i see blackness
hallucinogens
would be better than this
i don't understand
tell me what this is
kaleidoscopes
behind my eyes
ever-changing
like colored skies
someone, please explain
all these flashing colors
are bringing me pain
something's happening
these hues are breathing
pulsing and repeating
help me escape
gives me come cover
drape my sight
take away the colors

petals
spilling from my lips
speckles of blood
adorning them
growing
in my lungs
from one-sided love

Is the world against me?
Or is it just you?
Hearts were made to be broken.
I guess that's true.
Your love wasn't real.
Darling, you'll rue.
Try as I may
Try as I might
It hard to believe
I ever trusted you.

i want
to see
some people rot in hell

A cool gust of wind
In a once inhabited shell
Candles blown out
From a pair of ghostly lips
That feel ghoulishly similar
To the ones that once touched my own
Left in the dark
Like I was years before
Time and time again
Overwhelming fear is breathed into my lungs
Shivers climb down my back
As if traced by the delicate fingers of an apparition
From a past that haunts me
A voice murmurs in my ear
Sweet nothings a cruel reminder
Of a love that froze me in my place
Stepping one in front of the other
Turning around each pitch corner
Twisting hallways lead me to the darkest chamber in my heart
I look for myself in a pulsing mirror
But all I see
Is you