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alexis wansor May 24
Her eyes were filled with love
But she wasn't looking at me
Even though it physically hurt
She was happy

Every time she looked at him
My throat burned and ached
I watched her as i was violently coughing up the beautiful red pedals
Knowing i was going to die

Because i knew she would never look at me
The way she looked at him
And for some reason not loving her
Hurt more then the pedals themselves

Her beauty couldn’t compare to the throned flowers
Rapidly blooming in my throat
I would happily die knowing
That i died loving her

I was going to hold on
Despite the feeling of being set on fire
And knowing exactly how this was going to turn out
But i wanted to die with the little dignity i had left

My vision got blurry
blood dripped from my lip
My throat began to close
And With one last breath
The flowers consumed my smiling dead body

That beautiful hanahaki
Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear.
Riin Lai Apr 7
Your body
All angles and edges in place of curves
Your neck
Cinnamon, turmeric and salt
Your skin
Wheat-dark like pages of a well-worn book

Your atlas back
Arched like a cello’s waist
Your elegant fingers
Graze the ivory shell of my ear
Your hollow collarbone
Perched like a sycamore branch

Crawling its way up
My pelvis
My sternum
My throat
Until finally hanahaki springs forth
From my welcoming lips.
ari Dec 2020
my heart
beating for you
and blossoms
reaching up like hands from my pulsing heart
growing towards the sun,
(woven in the clouded sky)
flowers blooming upwards from my throat
clusters of amaryllis.
forget me nots
(please don’t forget me when I disappear)
florets and what not
out of my mouth held wide open
as beautiful as fire,
stinging with blood,
sprouting from the cracks in between my teeth
how they flourish as I decay
reaching up until
my heart no longer
beats for you
Skye Nov 2020
Hurting inside, sequestering away from the rest of the world
A touch and you unravel like silk ribbons
Nearly unconscious, breathing in septic air, exhaling petals
A bouquet of snow flowers in your lungs, tainted with your blood
Hurting like the world has collapsed on you, coughing out sanity
Alone when you’re with everyone, a cloud of friends and strangers
Kept for yourself, the burden that is dragging you downwards
Is death better than life without feeling, meaning?
Skye Nov 2020
How do you write a suicide note?
A story told too many times
Until its pages are worn thin
A world bleached of colour

How do you write a suicide note?
Open heavy eyes to empty darkness
Ominous feelings, like fabric
Weaving and coiling in my gut

How do you write a suicide note?
Hurl words like throwing knives
Breathing in water, suffocating on air
Masks, and shields are all the same thing

How do you write a suicide note?
Seized the key to the only door
Of escape from everything
A shadow of you watching, when I find it again

How do you write a suicide note?
The sounds of seagulls’ cries
Filling the air, we see, we breathe
We touch; I reach out for the waves only for them to pull back, sequester

How do you write a suicide note?
Figuring out that you are all the same
A dimming star in a galaxy of lights
And then realising that you were only an asteroid, drifting

How do you write a suicide note?
Missing of the fire we are all made of
The passion, desire that sets everything
Into blue-black flames, alive

How do you write a suicide note?
Millions of bombs, interconnected inside of you; living in an hourglass
The right hand of the clock is just spinning, and watching, waiting
For the scintillant of a match, plunging into gasoline

How do you write a suicide note?
The scattering petals in your heart, your mouth,
Your mind; roots connected to the cords of your lungs
Coughing flowers, the colour of the blood that leaks from your mouth

How do I write a suicide note?
So many words that I want to say, cascading from the tip of my pen
That tears the page in half
And the ink bleeds like I do, with the tears that plummet downwards, silent
Pull the trigger and then it is a thousand times more
Quieter, and stiller
Than it was before.
Lemon Aug 2020
I see so often
others happy alongside their love
saying love saved them

I hear so often
others asking me who I'm into
if I have a crush or want a lover

I used to be okay alone
I needed to love myself before I could love another
I wasnt searching for happiness in love

But these days I feel

                      l o n e l y

I dont need someone else to love me
I don't want someone else to hold me
I'm fine by myself

What I want is to love someone else
These days i find myself not caring about anyone
I want to feel affection towards the world around me

I want my heart to jump out of my chest and latch onto the next person I see

I want

I want

Maybe I want to drown in petals

Just like back in 9th grade
The last time I remember loving someone else
To no prevail I fell in love

I beat myself
Burned myself and scratched myself
Ripped myself apart for her

And I want it back

To suffocate helplessly in the delicate blooms of unrequited affection
To fall asleep covered in a sick mixture of ****** tears
To destroy myself for the sake of someone else

Oh to be in love
I've noticed that I've never missed someone before. Never missed my dead great grandparents or my sister when she left for college. I've never missed anyone.

And it's been 3 years since my last crush. I was in love with my best friend. My straight best friend. And I tire myself up cause *being gay is disgusting* and I couldnt handle myself.

But I havent been sad either. I'm never happy never sad. I dont cry dont smile dont get mad, nothing.

I'm starting to feel like a robot
vonny Apr 2020
the mouse started off like any ordinary mouse

annoying, small, and persistent.

the nymph tried to take good care of him, and he was treasured to her.

the mouse came limping back to her, after his daily battle with the world

she nursed him back to health

as the nymph cared more for the little mouse, she spurted out pellets of blood and flowers

the mouse tried to stop her

but it was too late.
i wrote this about a my friend who i used to think i liked in that way. i wrote this after i realized i didn't really like him, and it was about what our hypothetical relationship might have been. and it obviously wasn't something i wanted.
vonny Apr 2020
sometimes i look into your clear brown eyes and

wish you would like my pasty ones

but even though you've never clarified my deeply rooted knowledge

i know you agree with me, the flowers spurting from my mouth coated with a red, metallic taste

knowing this taste will not go away,

i blame myself
more hanahaki disease? i think that's the name. just loving someone who will never love you back.
vonny Apr 2020
falling is all i can do

simple words are being said

the plain, brittle truth

forget about the plain girl he thinks

or so he acts

riling up in my throat is the metallic taste of blood

i can taste daisies, roses, and all sorts of blossoms

he is only slightly aware

sighing causes the petals to float out

and i hide my ink markings in shame

does he call me out?

or even think my name?
i used hints of that one fictional disease of unrequited love making you cough up flowers. i used to really like using those visuals. anyway, this was about liking a boy who didnt know the extent of how i felt for him. i wrote this about a boy i loved at the time. we're still really good friends now, and i love him like a brother
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