Her eyes were filled with love
But she wasn't looking at me
Even though it physically hurt
She was happy

Every time she looked at him
My throat burned and ached
I watched her as i was violently coughing up the beautiful red pedals
Knowing i was going to die

Because i knew she would never look at me
The way she looked at him
And for some reason not loving her
Hurt more then the pedals themselves

Her beauty couldn’t compare to the throned flowers
Rapidly blooming in my throat
I would happily die knowing
That i died loving her

I was going to hold on
Despite the feeling of being set on fire
And knowing exactly how this was going to turn out
But i wanted to die with the little dignity i had left

My vision got blurry
blood dripped from my lip
My throat began to close
And With one last breath
The flowers consumed my smiling dead body

That beautiful hanahaki

Your body
All angles and edges in place of curves
Your neck
Cinnamon, turmeric and salt
Your skin
Wheat-dark like pages of a well-worn book

Your atlas back
Arched like a cello’s waist
Your elegant fingers
Graze the ivory shell of my ear
Your hollow collarbone
Perched like a sycamore branch

Crawling its way up
My pelvis
My sternum
My throat
Until finally hanahaki springs forth
From my welcoming lips.

my heart
beating for you
and blossoms
reaching up like hands from my pulsing heart
growing towards the sun,
(woven in the clouded sky)
flowers blooming upwards from my throat
clusters of amaryllis.
forget me nots
(please don’t forget me when I disappear)
florets and what not
dripping,
spilling
out of my mouth held wide open
as beautiful as fire,
stinging with blood,
sprouting from the cracks in between my teeth
how they flourish as I decay
reaching up until
my heart no longer
beats for you

I see so often
others happy alongside their love
saying love saved them

I hear so often
others asking me who I'm into
if I have a crush or want a lover

I used to be okay alone
I needed to love myself before I could love another
I wasnt searching for happiness in love

But these days I feel

                      l o n e l y

I dont need someone else to love me
I don't want someone else to hold me
I'm fine by myself

What I want is to love someone else
These days i find myself not caring about anyone
I want to feel affection towards the world around me

I want my heart to jump out of my chest and latch onto the next person I see

I want

I want

Maybe I want to drown in petals

Just like back in 9th grade
The last time I remember loving someone else
To no prevail I fell in love

I beat myself
Burned myself and scratched myself
Ripped myself apart for her

And I want it back

To suffocate helplessly in the delicate blooms of unrequited affection
To fall asleep covered in a sick mixture of ****** tears
To destroy myself for the sake of someone else

Oh to be in love

the mouse started off like any ordinary mouse

annoying, small, and persistent.

the nymph tried to take good care of him, and he was treasured to her.

the mouse came limping back to her, after his daily battle with the world

she nursed him back to health

as the nymph cared more for the little mouse, she spurted out pellets of blood and flowers

the mouse tried to stop her

but it was too late.

sometimes i look into your clear brown eyes and

wish you would like my pasty ones

but even though you've never clarified my deeply rooted knowledge

i know you agree with me, the flowers spurting from my mouth coated with a red, metallic taste

knowing this taste will not go away,

i blame myself

falling is all i can do

simple words are being said

the plain, brittle truth

forget about the plain girl he thinks

or so he acts

riling up in my throat is the metallic taste of blood

i can taste daisies, roses, and all sorts of blossoms

he is only slightly aware

sighing causes the petals to float out

and i hide my ink markings in shame

does he call me out?

or even think my name?