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maria Jul 2020
never thought of moving on
now I'm glad we split off
loved you like I never loved anyone before
now I know my worth

I couldn't tell if you loved me
or just couldn't have anyone else
fool me that you care
now I know I'm rare

people ask if I miss you
but I don't find anything to miss
It took me a while
to get over what I thought it was life
now I'm wondering what did i like

you ****** me off
you want to have it all
now I know what I really want
I wish you the best
and
I need you to go
found peace and closed a "case" that made me weak.

written on June 17, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2019
Rocks in my apartment,
I don't clean.

You see, the fluffy pillows
host a party tonight,
seems like all my enemies
are invite.
There's blood in the floor, indeed.

Music captures the shaky windows,
curtains dancing in the backround,
tragedy hits the door
right from the shadows.

I don't want to be here.
Listening is painfull,
watching gets knives in my lungs,
the guests are laughing on me.
Anxiety says hi.

The house shouts "Welcome",
please,
I only need sadness for my art.
Sometimes sadness just knock the door out of nowhere and you just can't bagged it out or you don't want to, sometimes it's the same thing.

written on June 9, 2019
maria Nov 2019
all my thoughts are people

people who used me
people who hurt me
people who dumped me
people I hurt
people I care
people I've lost
people I've missed
people I love
people
Struggling with thoughts

Written on November 23, 2019
maria Mar 2021
-Tell me something important about you
    -You
-No, like describe yourself
    -I love you
There's no me without you

Written on March 23, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Feb 12
Always someone's calling
and my little one does not answer
What if
this call's not for her?
what if actually
you're guiding her away?
Lakes are her way
and birds her dressing
willing to stay
but her nature
drives her
to what you call the flames

She names it paradise
and closes the gate
Written on February 09, 2024
© , Maria Xinari
maria Jan 2021
you called
out of nowhere
to ask
if I know a song

It's been a month since we last talked
what do you really want?
you're getting me crazy

written on January 17, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Nov 2019
places are people
people are souls
souls are infinity
we need to go on
keep growing

Written on November 25, 2019
maria Feb 2021
I feel like I want to write something new
but I can't write anything
that's not about you
written on Febuary 2021
© ,Maria
maria Mar 2020
to write
or
not to
;
to be
or
to die
take my poetry and I'm dead

written on March 2, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Feb 2021
I think you don't understand
how much I care
Or you do
And act like you don't;
I don't know what's worse...
I should study
Written on Febuary 19, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Nov 2019
all this study
for something I never loved
            -in a world full of judge-
for an exam I'll never pass
and even if I did,
life wouldn't care a bit
counting hours before an exam I don't really care about but have to pass if I want to get my degree one day.

Written on November 20, 2019
maria Jan 2022
And I am here
still missing
that one trip
we never made
Written on January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2019
Saw you with her
I stared for a moment
-it was just a quarter of a second
don't get yourself confused-
Smile on my face
I looked away
I'm happy without you
I'm happy without you
even if a tiny part of me still has a part of you

written on December 20, 2019
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2022
Will it be our last time
or are we lasting forever?
Written on August 24, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Aug 2022
my dance moves
look like burning stones
in the active volcano
you created
they flicker and bounce
looks like not knowing what's going on
or what to do.
I'm I the losing steps you chose?
Written on August 24, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Mar 2022
once in a while
our paths meet
then cross the line
and we don't speak
for weeks
no matter the time
the weather
the year
I will always come back
to our messy love
my dear
Written on March 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Feb 2021
writing poems for you
Oops!

Written on Febuary 14, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Feb 2021
1.Writing poems for you
2.
Written somewhere between 10 to 18 of Febuary, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Feb 2021
Even if fairy godmother
came here
with my 3 wishes
you'd still give me
mixed signals
Written on Febuary 19, 2021
© ,Maria Xinari
maria Mar 2021
I, no more
count years
in new year's eve,
I, count years
in birthdays,
your birthdays.
Not speaking for months,
then,
a happy birthday
and a new roller coaster
begins
Written on March 04, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Sep 2020
let me be
   let
       me-

_stop the bit
      I'm out of breath
written on September 15, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2019
I'm out of breath
I don't want to feel
I'm scared you don't exist
Are you here?
Do you hear?
I'm a mess,
welcome.
I don't even remember when I wrote it, but still remember the feeling.
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2020
he is not worth it
you shine without all the distactions
read it again.

written on June 30, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Aug 2022
you're fullest than the ocean
and brighter than the stars
but as you get stubborn
you're so more blurred than fog
Written on August 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
She
maria Jun 2019
She
The sun is waking up like a small rose rises up,
she is beautiful.
Across her little cave there is a river, a blue and white and purple river.
She's a pretty sunbeam.

She,
the only flower in the iceberg,
the bravest snowflake in the desert,
she doesn't know anything about it.

Running through her silly problems, silly for those they think this is all about sympathy,
she hits everything that comes between her and her future.

She's crying,
she's shouting that this is not fair,
that she can't take it anymore,
but she's giving life by her empty words.

Her scars know she's stunning,
her wavy hair tell her she's more than important,
her heavy legs shout that she is the strongest person they know,
she only mumbles she feels like a stone.

She,
she is full of dust,
but she is fully loved.
She is sparkles and magic stars
but staring in the mirror she sees a ghost.
to every broken girl, woman in this world,
you're stunning

written  on June 8, 2018
maria Jan 2021
She won't go
never
She lives
through your eyes
even now
that they lost there beautiful colour
Even now,
She lives through them
written on January 10, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2022
the end that never begins
in a love
that doesn't exist
Written on January 5, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Oct 2019
Sorry for the sadness
I'm not trying to
it's just life,
you know,
everyone's playing hide and seek
Some people need answers you don't really have or are too clear, they just don't want to hear

Written on October 20, 2019
maria Dec 2021
your love lasted less
than my favorite lighter
d.

Written on December 15, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Sep 2019
I saw a dream
My teeth fell
A lot of blood in between
That's how unlucky I am
emotional pain,
even in my dreams

Written on September 26, 2019
maria Jan 2022
give me reasons
to not sound like
         a fool
for              
loving you
Written on January 21, 2022
© ,Maria
maria Sep 2021
deep
as the ocean
and
warm
as the sun,
full
as the forest
and
loud
as a club

my love for you is
real
as the stars
lysm
(l)

written on September 14, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
Somehow I got used to the aftertaste of been alone;
day by day
now
I see growth.
Feelings used to be all over the place
when everything needed some space
-   I needed space   -

I don't want to be wanted
I'm still not good at it

Trying to find peace
Selflove is what I deserve indeed
Alone for so long, now I realise that it's not wrong. To be honest, this helped me to find myself. I haven't succeeded yet, still a bit vulnerable but I'm going there.

Written on 17 December, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Apr 2020
we are missing it all
closed inside those doors
keeping faith
became a war
what are we fighting for
and for what growth?
feeling betrayed from the world
written on April 11, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jun 2023
as long as there are colours
given by the sun
as long as the darkness
covers our goodbyes
when forever's the promise
but now is not in time
and you're trying to change
whithout it to last
I'll love you tonight, tomorrow and in every other sky's reborn
25_06_2023
© , Maria Xinari
maria Dec 2021
I lost you
in your undecidedness
you lost me
in time
you lost me, I didn't want it to end but here we go
Written on December 09, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Oct 2019
how unlucky
Some people's cells are made of life
but they're not blessed to live
And some of us,
are forced to talk and smile
and shine and walk
and appear
-I want to disappear-
and dance and pretend
and again
and again
and-

All we want to do is fly
or die
It's pretty much the same thing
How unfair
existing is tiring

Written on Ocrober 22, 2019
maria Dec 2020
I got over you
Written on December 17, 2020

© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
I'm happy
without you
6 months of being happy even though you're not in the frame

written on December 17, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Jan 2021
I'm happy that
you're happy
without me
no fakeness in it

Written on December 17, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2019
Feeling like I'm going to explode
Can't hold emotions anymore
Your interest
makes me sick
I'm drowing in a cup of tea
So much pressure
I can't breath
How did I end up like this?
I don't want to feel
Take your attention away from me
remind me to not cry when I'm alone again, that -at least somehow- I can take it

written on December 07, 2019
maria Nov 2019
to fall in love again
to forgive
to trust
to not care.
I tried to try

I failed
I'm not trying anymore

Written on November 04, 2019
maria Jun 2019
You ask me what are my goals.
What I'm I supposed to tell you?
That I don't have any goals?
That I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life?
That I'm so confused?
Why is that?
Maybe I'm just focused on survival.
Maybe because the dreams I once had, proved to be fake, proved to be silly.
written on August 31, 2017
maria Jan 2021
love/
a hobby
I'm not good at it
written on January 5, 2021
© ,Maria
maria Dec 2020
Standing strong
I still need
someone to hold
Written on December 17, 2020
© ,Maria
Us
maria Aug 2022
Us
Every August,
a promise
we can't keep
Written on August 12, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
maria Oct 2019
Can't find happiness;
I looked for her in the empty roads
Asking strangers was kind of difficult
and frustrating
I shouted her name a thousand of times
She kept her eyes down
She put her hands in her ears
She doesn't want to hear
nor visit
nor live anywhere near
I don't blame her
She has other things to do
Walking tragedy isn't one of her favorite
Happiness where are you?

Written on October 07, 2019
maria Mar 2022
I want you
as the sun
wants the sunsets
and
as the songs
play in the clubs
that I'm hanging on
Written on 12/03/22
© , Maria Xinari
maria Dec 2020
Even if I probably don't need it
I want someone
Not to fake love
Not to fool people
Not to fool me
I just want a hug
No feelings between
written on 17 December, 2020
© ,Maria
maria Nov 2021
How do I stop loving you?
Are there any instructions?
There should be, isn't it?
I guess
they're in the sequel
that never got published
Written on November 17, 2021
© ,Maria
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