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Feb 12 · 116
personal callings
maria Feb 12
Always someone's calling
and my little one does not answer
What if
this call's not for her?
what if actually
you're guiding her away?
Lakes are her way
and birds her dressing
willing to stay
but her nature
drives her
to what you call the flames

She names it paradise
and closes the gate
Written on February 09, 2024
© , Maria Xinari
Nov 2023 · 116
keep the talk
maria Nov 2023
Our pages burning red
while those glasses are swelling in my hands
and people keep saying
She's in her best
jokes they made
once I walk away.
and I can go on and on
but honey
problems can't be solved
it's so better living with ghosts
and oh, now that we don't talk
I'll scream my nightmares
to the walls I used to pretend
I chose on my own
Written on November 1, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Nov 2023 · 980
maria Nov 2023
too late to fake it
too early to begin again
© , Maria Xinari
Sep 2023 · 64
mirror mirror
maria Sep 2023
pieces of broken glasses
and me
in the middle
trying and trying
nothing I got rid of.
Saw faces
strangers that felt known
I onced thought I own
all of them pieces
smaller and bigger
I need to fit in
I want to throw up
why you're looking at me like that?
What once was great
is leaving me with cuts,
to get away
I'm leaving you behind,
to rise again
is to find who I am
Written on September 25, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Sep 2023 · 63
last call
maria Sep 2023
we said our goodbyes
and it reminded me
of the very firt time
in that lake
that smile
that firt "I want you to be with me"
flaming trouthness
-that's it, that's what it was-
once a hope
now a close door
always a pleasure
meeting you
and been gone.
I'm sorry our bridge broke
you were the reallest posibility I ever wanted to own
Written on September 25, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2023 · 102
'Till life's death
maria Jun 2023
as long as there are colours
given by the sun
as long as the darkness
covers our goodbyes
when forever's the promise
but now is not in time
and you're trying to change
whithout it to last
I'll love you tonight, tomorrow and in every other sky's reborn
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2023 · 265
Losing you
maria Jun 2023
the hardest,
       decision that
I took
June 25 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2023 · 886
maria Jun 2023
How did we end up like this,
strangers that want to be kissed?
Written on June 25, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Jan 2023 · 92
maria Jan 2023
stories of woman and men and wolfes and the ocean
pictures burned
in someone's old closet
all of them masked
in the fond of yellow
bright as gold
real and cold
shades of me
shades of everything I abhor.
  I burned everyone who burned me
How can they not betrayed me when even myself betrayed me?
Written on January 21, 2023
© , Maria Xinari
Nov 2022 · 238
You're controling me
maria Nov 2022
and I don't want to
but I let you anyway
and I don't want to
but I beg for our lives
and I don't want to
and all I do is be with you
and I love you
but our love is all over the place
and I love it
but I hate this pressure in my chest
and I don't want to
but I need to get away
and I don't want to
but you don't even know you're doing this to me
and I don't want to blame you
but this madness, these voices
keep renting my brain
and I don't want to
but I've been so messed already
that this is not helping
and I don't want to
__This "you" has more than one faces and meaning, some of them a lover, the voices in my head, my own self, the world.__

Writting on November 2, 2022

By Maria Xinari
Nov 2022 · 93
maria Nov 2022
you gave me fights
I struggled to give away
everything now remains
you're the first thing I thought will leave the page
yet feels like this time
we ended the games
Written on november 2, 2022

Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 109
2 days in a row
maria Aug 2022
Should have been studying
yet we're fighting again
I can't get you out of my head
Written on August 31, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 341
la catastrophe
maria Aug 2022
Mon coeur,
I can't live without you
I can't live when I'm with you
I can't breath
I can't speak
I'm turning French
to prettify the lie that we live.
             Notre vie,
             une grande catastrophe.
Written on August 26, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 242
questioning 2.0
maria Aug 2022
my dance moves
look like burning stones
in the active volcano
you created
they flicker and bounce
looks like not knowing what's going on
or what to do.
I'm I the losing steps you chose?
Written on August 24, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 117
maria Aug 2022
Will it be our last time
or are we lasting forever?
Written on August 24, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 100
maria Aug 2022
Every August,
a promise
we can't keep
Written on August 12, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 190
maria Aug 2022
Kisses on your lips -
strawberries growing by the surface of a full moon
written on August 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 91
August miracles
maria Aug 2022
the sunlight capturing your face
down the Italian roads
Written on August 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Aug 2022 · 315
shades of the one I love
maria Aug 2022
you're fullest than the ocean
and brighter than the stars
but as you get stubborn
you're so more blurred than fog
Written on August 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2022 · 150
maria Jun 2022
birds in this cage
one got away
scared enough
flew far upon this place
'till it finds
it's new
cozy and safe
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2022 · 65
chasing perfection
maria Jun 2022
trying to hug
          the void
    with bare hands
Jun 2022 · 117
maria Jun 2022
tones of miracles
yet you are
the only one that shines
© , Maria Xinari
Jun 2022 · 355
Fairy garden in my chest
maria Jun 2022
Butterflys in my chest
I walk around
I'm so scared
What if I lose one?
What if they take us apart miles away?
I put them in a cave
that's not the case
What if you grow flowers
to keep them awake?
my love metaphor
© , Maria Xinari
Apr 2022 · 89
How lame I am
maria Apr 2022
I stand here
worring about 4g running out
and all the love messages I can't send
and all that
for a boy
who finds
I wear ugly
and compliments me as
a 40 years old lady
while I'm in my 20's

And that's on how lame I am
Written on April 9, 2022
Mar 2022 · 84
wanting _ repetetion
maria Mar 2022
I want you
as the sun
wants the sunsets
as the songs
play in the clubs
that I'm hanging on
Written on 12/03/22
© , Maria Xinari
Mar 2022 · 158
maria Mar 2022
once in a while
our paths meet
then cross the line
and we don't speak
for weeks
no matter the time
the weather
the year
I will always come back
to our messy love
my dear
Written on March 11, 2022
© , Maria Xinari
Feb 2022 · 360
all the reasons
maria Feb 2022
all I really wanted
was a metaphor to die for
and you gave me
all the reasons
Written on Febuary 07, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 582
no one
maria Jan 2022
there  is         no      one
I  can  argue          with
about       silly     things
no one       to        laugh
while doing the dishes
no        one           to cry
about        the  weather
and the   not      so well
cooked chicken   wings.
There' s         no    o n e
I     have        no       one
January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 402
"that foolish girl"
maria Jan 2022
give me reasons
to not sound like
         a fool
loving you
Written on January 21, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 266
don't abandon me
maria Jan 2022
I'm begging you
                 give me reasons
to bear
loving you
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 106
maria Jan 2022
they're telling me
to leave you
and honestly,
they are
Written on January 21, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 205
maria Jan 2022
I will search for you
even in the
lost Atlantis
Written on January 21, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 111
maria Jan 2022
And I am here
still missing
that one trip
we never made
Written on January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 97
maria Jan 2022
our lives
may not
have fit
I pretend
I never noticed

still do.
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 471
maria Jan 2022
All this sadness
and no one to
share it
yours, marie
Written on January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 767
Is it too much?
maria Jan 2022
I just missed
a warm feeling
a true touch
written on January 18, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 208
[L]over 2.0
maria Jan 2022
I miss loving you
               I miss
Written on January 7, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 175
wish you good
maria Jan 2022
we don't talk anymore
but I wish you
more than you know
my love for you
comes from the
life-giving source
Written on January 7, 2022
© ,Maria
Jan 2022 · 372
maria Jan 2022
the end that never begins
in a love
that doesn't exist
Written on January 5, 2022
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 1.6k
maria Dec 2021
the year I fell in love
the year that broke my heart
Written on December 31, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 77
Dear love 4.0
maria Dec 2021
I know I should be trying
to live without you
but I can't stop missing you
Written on December 22, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 947
cover free 2.0
maria Dec 2021
I'll cover me
even though
you liked me cover free,
I'll camouflage my feelings
like you masked your fakeness
Written somewhere on June, 2020
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 1.5k
Christmas boy
maria Dec 2021
kinda flirt
kinda nothing
written on December 15, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 1.7k
maria Dec 2021
your love lasted less
than my favorite lighter

Written on December 15, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 1.4k
messing repetition
maria Dec 2021
I want a boyfriend
to take my breath
to make me feel
to keep me warm
to kiss me to sleep
Let me reborn
I keep messing
with the wrong ones
I'm tired
and bored
Written on December 13, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 184
maria Dec 2021
I miss you
and it's almost Christmas
Written on December 10, 2021
© ,Maria
Dec 2021 · 696
maria Dec 2021
I lost you
in your undecidedness
you lost me
in time
you lost me, I didn't want it to end but here we go
Written on December 09, 2021
© ,Maria
Nov 2021 · 1.1k
idiot me
maria Nov 2021
I said once
that you can't brake me anymore
and then
I let you
play me
and again
Written on November 22, 2021
© ,Maria
Nov 2021 · 596
were's the sequel?
maria Nov 2021
How do I stop loving you?
Are there any instructions?
There should be, isn't it?
I guess
they're in the sequel
that never got published
Written on November 17, 2021
© ,Maria
Nov 2021 · 1.6k
maria Nov 2021
Made my heart a rock,
trying to brake
the camouflage
you wore,
trying to heal
your wings,
Fly was the dream

And then
you did.
And I waited for you,
you know,
was the one not flying
And you left;
when I needed you,
You left
Written on November 17, 2021
© ,Maria
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