I long to call you lover
But I fail to call you friend.
Who'd have thought
That after all we've fought
We'd wind up at this bitter end?

Yet still you stay so close to me
Even though we're oceans apart.
But after what you've done
To prove I'm not the one
Our bitter end will be my start.

She sits in the stands
Up in the nosebleed section
Cheering wildly, admiring her boys
In red and white
While he is under her hood
With soot-covered hands
Making sense of and fixing
Her mechanical mess.

Later on, she makes his favorite meal
To show him how much she loves him
But he shows up with takeout
And complains about how long it took
Just to replace the starter
In her red Corolla.

There's a difference between
Admiration
And love.

To the one whose hand I never held:

Thank you for letting me hold your heart instead, even when I didn't take care of it like it should.

To the one who called me brother and best friend, but never lover:

Thank you for making me part of your family when I didn't have a place to go.

To the one whose trust I shattered:

I'm sorry I took you for granted and hurt you when you made me smile.

To the one whose lips I never kissed:

Thank you for letting me love you
Even though you never loved me back.

Remember when we talked about angels
Under the sunless sky so dark
It was as if we were the only two sparks left in the world?

Do you remember when we wondered
If they took on life just to walk next to us down the street,
Or to sit down next to us when we cry away our pain
Over a lukewarm cup of coffee?

Do you remember how you felt that night
When you laughed with conviction
And wiped tears from your eyes
Because you were absolutely certain
God sent you an angel in disguise?

Cutting and slashing
Is love everlasting
Never breaking the skin
It mutilates from within

As I lie in autumn dreams
I see the moonlight shine in beams
And caress the rose red fall-time leaves
That flail and flutter beneath the trees

While autumn blooms are not unseen
They distract the crowds with grace serene
A performance of pirouetting figurines
Whose voices are drowned by our machines

As humans we stumble and struggle through life
We carry our shame and we comfort our strife
While the trees are all children whose leaves are small kites
That get tossed up and blown round by faith and not sight

I know the world is autumn's fight
As starshine fades and day breaks night
Is it happenstance or is it right
That branches shed what gives them life?

You are the moon that is moored in the sky
And the moonshine that shimmers against Atlantis' cloak
So vivid, yet so pale
And I begin to wonder if you're alright
Up there, all alone atop the world.

Is it better to be carefully propped on a celestial pedestal for all men to indulge,
Or to be chaotically plunged
Into a sea of solitude and peace?

You are much wiser and older, my dear;
Is it true that
Beauty lies
In the eye
Of the beholder?

Go back to your black-and-white world

Void of color and warmth

And of depth and of passion.

Go ahead and crawl back behind

Pages of guilt and chapters of pain.

Hide your face with the cover

Of the latest Roth novel

And forget that color and fragrence

And feelings and senses

Exist.

When you give someone or something up, it doesn't mean to put it/them on the proverbial shelf to look at every now and then when things get boring.

It doesn't mean you should keep them in the background of your life so you can wander out to them when there's nothing going on in the foreground.

There's nothing uncivil about removing people or things from your life.

I'm not going to give any more of my attention to certain people and all the vices of my past.

Holding onto a piece of them builds the bridge to bring them into my present, and I don't have time to be tempted or distracted from the things that matter to me the most.

If that's cruel, so be it. Some bridges are meant to be burned.

How can somebody who doesn't know me
Define me?

"...You're my direction when I'm lost, but I'm never alone with the love that we've grown.

How incredible is this view? Its not the beautiful scenery, it's the beautiful you."

"I don't know what you possibly see
Underneath the *****, thick skin
That's cut and bruised and scarred
From the things I've done to myself
And from what a few others carved into
The arms of the man I call 'Me'...

...I roll up my sleeves and I take
A piece of you from off the floor
And I try my best to fold it up
With the same care my mother had
When she used to clean the stains
From my favorite shirt without mistake...

...We're both soldiers in the same war
But we're standing on opposite sides,
Which doesn't make sense to me because
We have the same *****, thick skin
That's cut and bruised and scarred
And I know you're the one worth fighting for..."

Here I am far away from home
With a hole in my head and two in my chest.
No thoughts in my mind, I'm void and alone,
And the clock that made my body tick on has finally come to rest.
An entire lifetime of pleasures and pains runs red on the sidewalk near what used to be a somebody to nobody.

Save me a place at the table
My little white flower
That sways in the breeze.

Please hold my seat if you're able
I'll love you forever
After all the wine from bottle flees.

Set me a plate and I'll stay full
My hunger endeavors
Your warmth was always mine to be.

Every day I spend with you is an adventure.
Sitting still next to you on the couch feels like I'm going a hundred on an open stretch of road in the middle of nowhere, beautiful scenery all around but the perfect view is the girl with me when I glance over my shoulder.

Every day I spend with you is a lesson learned.
I'm the C student that can never grasp anything, but you never give up on me.
You prepare me for all the tests life has in store and because of you I ace them all.

Every day I spend with you is a puzzle.
Dozens of pieces scattered around in a jumbled mess, but with you it all comes together and makes sense. The pictures we create together are unforgettable and will stay with me forever.

Every day I spend with you is a song.
High notes mixed with low to create a melody, and it's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. You're my favorite genre, soothing my spirit with a single word. Life's a performance of talent and grace whenever you're in the room.

Every day I spend with you is a reassurance.
I've never been as sure as anything else in this world. You become more and more incredible as days together turn to months, and eventually years. You went from gorgeous to drop-dead gorgeous the first time you took my breath away, but your warming embrace brought me back to life.

Every day I spend with you is the best day of my life.

So often I'm told
Everything will be ok
When is it my turn?

I had eyes for only her

*But her eyes only saw the world.

My Lord
You are the Wind in my sails
On the arduous sea
When waves crash and bombard
My sea-soaked skin
And tired soul.

In times of trouble
No storm can subdue my faith
In You;
You are with me,
The Footprints on shore beside me,
The Voice in the gulls that flock
And lead me to spoils.

No force of man
Or circumstance
Will sway my soul
For I am yours.
I pray, O Lord,
My soul to keep,
Please helm my ship
And lay the waters down to sleep.

I have nowhere to go
Just a man without a home
Wandering along this bent
And crooked stream.
Got a bag on my back
and I'm not looking back
Just the future, not the past is all I see.
I hitched a ride West
Cuz I gave up the best
thing that's ever, ever happened to me

And I sit here tonight
By the dim firelight
As I wonder in sight
Of the darkening sky.
As I look at the stars
I write my memoir
And think about where you are.
As long as we see the same moon
And the stars
We're never, ever too far apart.

Darling, lift your head.
What do you see?
When you see the brightest star
Do you think of him, or think of me?
Honey, dont move
Just stay in bed.
Dont worry about me, lay down and rest your head.

I'm out here alone
Made a choice of my own.
The fire's dying
I'm getting cold.
The moon and stars went out
And I'm freezing to the bone
I'm packing up
And moving on again.
Thats my choice.
I'm sorry I didnt hold you longer
Babe, I really miss your voice.
But again, I'm going further
And I'm carrying the load
Of losing you.

I've made it to a safer place
Where my dreams of you
And all my hopes
And prayers
And desperate pleas
Come true.

Everytime I see your bubbly smile I'm actually watching fireworks.
The air smells explosive when you let that first one go and I feel the shockwave hit my chest.
You light up the night, not once, not twice, but for what seems like forever, so radiant and clamoring its impossible to ignore you.
You captivate me with quickly blooming blossoms whenever you snicker and I want nothing more than to sit where I am and stare at you for hours.
You never get tired of releasing your light into the world, and you never get old; you only get more beautiful to me from beginning to the end.

*Save the finale just for me.

There is a big difference
Between leaving behind cold tracks
In the snow
And lending a warm hand to lead.

We will never forget...

The last day dawns on my life
And I don't know it
As I wake up to golden rays
Of sun knocking on my eyelids.

I kissed my wife good morning,
Got up out of bed
And tucked her in again.
Naomi spent 10 hours last night
Delivering a new mother's firstborn.
I didn't tell her good morning
And I wish I told her I loved her
But I didn't want to wake her.

I sipped my coffee on the way to work
As if it were any other day,
My only worry was if I had spilled any
On the new pink and white
Polka-dot tie my daughter Elise
Had bought me for my birthday
Last weekend
Or the new Bostonian shoes
My wife gave me
With the card that read,
We love you from top to bottom!

I walked into the conference room
And checked my watch:
8:36.
I was 9 minutes early
To the most exciting moment
Of my career:
My first pitch as project manager
For the new country club going up
East of the city in Glenwood Landing.

I was 10 minutes early
To the most helpless moment
Of my life.

At 8:45 I said good morning
To many fine ladies and gentlemen...
Bankers, lawyers, city representatives,
A union boss, some secretaries,
And a stenographer in the back.

The same words I would never again say to my wife and child...

And immediately I was thrown
Through the air
And knocked against the righthand wall
Of the room.
I was utterly confused
And my face burned
From the coffee I had been holding
That now stained
My beautiful polka-dot tie.

It would be nothing compared to the heat I would soon face.

Outside our 111th-story window
Rose an obsidian plume of smoke.
We all knew something terrible
Had happened just a few floors below.

The fine ladies and gentlemen
Of a moment ago
Quickly turned into uncivilized beasts
As the lights went out
And the piercing scream of the fire alarm
Shouted louder than the new mother
Experiencing the pain
Of her first childbirth.

Smoke very quickly came from below
And filled the floor with the foulest odor
I had ever smelled:
Burning rubber, sulfur,
And burnt hair.
Others in the room sealed the door shut
With expensive overcoats and undershirts
From Armani and Burberry.

They tried the phone countless times
But the line was dead.
I looked down at my watch
As a bead of sweat fell from my brow
And landed on my new tie:
9:11.

Today's date.

The fire alarm got tired of yelling
And the room was filled with an
Uncomfortable rumbling sound...

Flames...

...and the hysterical wails of the
Fine ladies and gentlemen in the room.
Some prayed, some wept together,
Others wept alone.
The one thing we all had in common
Was the persistent coughing
From the obsidian smoke
Slicing our lungs.

I looked down at my watch:
9:23.
The heat was now almost unbearable.
We huddled around the window
Jack or John or Jim smashed
With the powerful throw
Of a mini-refigerator.

When I gazed out the window
At the same sun that kissed my eyelids
This morning,
I was calm.
I thought of Naomi, who was
Surely watching on television
As her family called her to make sure
Her and I and Elise were alright.

Daddy's alright, baby girl.

I'm alright, Naoms.

9:31...
Gary or Greg was the first to jump.

I'll make it home to you, angels.

9:32...
Sophia or Cynthia was next.

Please, God, get me out of here...

9:33...
Jack or John or Jim
And Patty or Peggy
Were each other's last hug
As they fell
Like two stars from heaven.

9:35...
I couldn't see
And I couldn't breathe.
The sunlight was the last thing to kiss me.

Before I jumped
I felt my girls.
I touched the tie on my neck
And the shoes on my feet.

I love you both

From top to bottom.

We will never forget...

The last day dawns on my life
And I don't know it
As I wake up to golden rays
Of sun knocking on my eyelids.

I kissed my wife good morning,
Got up out of bed
And tucked her in again.
Naomi spent 10 hours last night
Delivering a new mother's firstborn.
I didn't tell her good morning
And I wish I told her I loved her
But I didn't want to wake her.

I sipped my coffee on the way to work
As if it were any other day,
My only worry was if I had spilled any
On the new pink and white
Polka-dot tie my daughter Elise
Had bought me for my birthday
Last weekend
Or the new Bostonian shoes
My wife gave me
With the card that read,
We love you from top to bottom!

I walked into the conference room
And checked my watch:
8:36.
I was 9 minutes early
To the most exciting moment
Of my career:
My first pitch as project manager
For the new country club going up
East of the city in Glenwood Landing.

I was 10 minutes early
To the most helpless moment
Of my life.

At 8:45 I said good morning
To many fine ladies and gentlemen...
Bankers, lawyers, city representatives,
A union boss, some secretaries,
And a stenographer in the back.

The same words I would never again say to my wife and child...

And immediately I was thrown
Through the air
And knocked against the righthand wall
Of the room.
I was utterly confused
And my face burned
From the coffee I had been holding
That now stained
My beautiful polka-dot tie.

It would be nothing compared to the heat I would soon face.

Outside our 111th-story window
Rose an obsidian plume of smoke.
We all knew something terrible
Had happened just a few floors below.

The fine ladies and gentlemen
Of a moment ago
Quickly turned into uncivilized beasts
As the lights went out
And the piercing scream of the fire alarm
Shouted louder than the new mother
Experiencing the pain
Of her first childbirth.

Smoke very quickly came from below
And filled the floor with the foulest odor
I had ever smelled:
Burning rubber, sulfur,
And burnt hair.
Others in the room sealed the door shut
With expensive overcoats and undershirts
From Armani and Burberry.

They tried the phone countless times
But the line was dead.
I looked down at my watch
As a bead of sweat fell from my brow
And landed on my new tie:
9:11.

Today's date.

The fire alarm got tired of yelling
And the room was filled with an
Uncomfortable rumbling sound...

Flames...

...and the hysterical wails of the
Fine ladies and gentlemen in the room.
Some prayed, some wept together,
Others wept alone.
The one thing we all had in common
Was the persistent coughing
From the obsidian smoke
Slicing our lungs.

I looked down at my watch:
9:23.
The heat was now almost unbearable.
We huddled around the window
Jack or John or Jim smashed
With the powerful throw
Of a mini-refigerator.

When I gazed out the window
At the same sun that kissed my eyelids
This morning,
I was calm.
I thought of Naomi, who was
Surely watching on television
As her family called her to make sure
Her and I and Elise were alright.

Daddy's alright, baby girl.

I'm alright, Naoms.

9:31...
Gary or Greg was the first to jump.

I'll make it home to you, angels.

9:32...
Sophia or Cynthia was next.

Please, God, get me out of here...

9:33...
Jack or John or Jim
And Patty or Peggy
Were each other's last hug
As they fell
Like two stars from heaven.

9:35...
I couldn't see
And I couldn't breathe.
The sunlight was the last thing to kiss me.

Before I jumped
I felt my girls.
I touched the tie on my neck
And the shoes on my feet.

I love you both

From top to bottom.

We will never forget...

The last day dawns on my life
And I don't know it
As I wake up to golden rays
Of sun knocking on my eyelids.

I kissed my wife good morning,
Got up out of bed
And tucked her in again.
Naomi spent 10 hours last night
Delivering a new mother's firstborn.
I didn't tell her good morning
And I wish I told her I loved her
But I didn't want to wake her.

I sipped my coffee on the way to work
As if it were any other day,
My only worry was if I had spilled any
On the new pink and white
Polka-dot tie my daughter Elise
Had bought me for my birthday
Last weekend
Or the new Bostonian shoes
My wife gave me
With the card that read,
We love you from top to bottom!

I walked into the conference room
And checked my watch:
8:36.
I was 9 minutes early
To the most exciting moment
Of my career:
My first pitch as project manager
For the new country club going up
East of the city in Glenwood Landing.

I was 10 minutes early
To the most helpless moment
Of my life.

At 8:45 I said good morning
To many fine ladies and gentlemen...
Bankers, lawyers, city representatives,
A union boss, some secretaries,
And a stenographer in the back.

The same words I would never again say to my wife and child...

And immediately I was thrown
Through the air
And knocked against the righthand wall
Of the room.
I was utterly confused
And my face burned
From the coffee I had been holding
That now stained
My beautiful polka-dot tie.

It would be nothing compared to the heat I would soon face.

Outside our 111th-story window
Rose an obsidian plume of smoke.
We all knew something terrible
Had happened just a few floors below.

The fine ladies and gentlemen
Of a moment ago
Quickly turned into uncivilized beasts
As the lights went out
And the piercing scream of the fire alarm
Shouted louder than the new mother
Experiencing the pain
Of her first childbirth.

Smoke very quickly came from below
And filled the floor with the foulest odor
I had ever smelled:
Burning rubber, sulfur,
And burnt hair.
Others in the room sealed the door shut
With expensive overcoats and undershirts
From Armani and Burberry.

They tried the phone countless times
But the line was dead.
I looked down at my watch
As a bead of sweat fell from my brow
And landed on my new tie:
9:11.

Today's date.

The fire alarm got tired of yelling
And the room was filled with an
Uncomfortable rumbling sound...

Flames...

...and the hysterical wails of the
Fine ladies and gentlemen in the room.
Some prayed, some wept together,
Others wept alone.
The one thing we all had in common
Was the persistent coughing
From the obsidian smoke
Slicing our lungs.

I looked down at my watch:
9:23.
The heat was now almost unbearable.
We huddled around the window
Jack or John or Jim smashed
With the powerful throw
Of a mini-refigerator.

When I gazed out the window
At the same sun that kissed my eyelids
This morning,
I was calm.
I thought of Naomi, who was
Surely watching on television
As her family called her to make sure
Her and I and Elise were alright.

Daddy's alright, baby girl.

I'm alright, Naoms.

9:31...
Gary or Greg was the first to jump.

I'll make it home to you, angels.

9:32...
Sophia or Cynthia was next.

Please, God, get me out of here...

9:33...
Jack or John or Jim
And Patty or Peggy
Were each other's last hug
As they fell
Like two stars from heaven.

9:35...
I couldn't see
And I couldn't breathe.
The sunlight was the last thing to kiss me.

Before I jumped
I felt my girls.
I touched the tie on my neck
And the shoes on my feet.

I love you both

From top to bottom.

You keep me grounded like a tree
Your roots, they nourish and bind me
To this plot of earth on which I stand
You're worth more than every grain of sand

Before she goes to sleep at night
She puts a noose around her neck
To give herself a reason to stop
Tossing and turning and thinking
About the last time she
Was safe in her own skin.

Instead of tucking herself in
Under blanket and quilt
She tucks a knife into her chest
To remind herself of her guilt
And her shame and the pain
She faces at the dawn
Of each new day.

She threw her pillow in the trash
Because comfort wasn't something
She thought belonged in her life.
Now she rests her head
On a loaded Sig .40
And finds solace in the touch
Of cold steel against her cheek.

She always said she couldn't sleep
And now *she can't stop.

How can I love
When my coffee *** is only half full
Because you're not here anymore
To smile with me every morning?

How can I love
When I still find your hair in my car
And can't bear to throw it away
Because it's the only piece of you I have left?

How can I love
When the same sun warms our faces
But you're not here for me to cool
Your lips with an iced tea kiss?

How can I love
When my coffee *** is only half full
Because I didn't make enough for three
When I called off work without a warning?

Tear the flesh from my bones
Til my soul is alone
And my body's a lake
Fed from red-running holes.

You are stagnant and cold
Like the moss on a stone
And a cesspool for sinners
Who you let come and go.

You are the blue in a sky full of gray
You're my goodnight kisses at the end of the day
Your name on my lips brings a smile to my face
Like a child with presents on his first Christmas Day

Your eyes are like fireworks, they light up the sky
An explosion of colors that light up my life
The finale so great and so loud at the end
That I feel my heart skip and jump out of my chest

I love you for you, for your beauty and grace
For the way you put smiles on every face
For the wrong songs you sing in just the right place
You're the peace in my mind when I am afraid

I just love you, and I don't know why
You're the light of my life and the blue in my sky
You're my candle, the moon, and the stars out at night
That remind me to sleep and leave the weight of the world behind

I wanted it to be you
I bled for it to be you
I prayed for it to be you
But there was always someone else
In my bed

Inspiration is
A trip to Kilauea
But on a snow day

I was never
A demanding man
Or a smothering being.
I was never
A shameful soul
Or a jealous person.

...that is, until us.

I was never
Your ruler
Or the breeze that took
Your breath away.
I was never
Some cruel cur
And I was never
The one to question
Who you were with
Or where you were.

Love brings out the best
In a few of us
And it makes a huge mess
Of the rest of us.
I was never the one
To pick up a gun
And put holes in the heart
I had promised to love.

I waited in line at a gas station today
Behind a rowdy crowd of people shouting numbers, throwing hands in the air
And causing a scene
Like an auction gone awry
Just so I could put $30 on pump twelve.
When it was finally my turn at the counter
I heard my phone ring.
I looked at the screen
And saw your name.
I answered
And heard your voice.


I drove away from the pump
With a gallon of milk
And a full tank of gas
And went home to collect my jackpot.

Why shine
When you could gleam?

Why sleep
When you could dream?

Why cry
When you could weep?

Why chime
When you could sing?

Why fly
When you could soar?

Why try
Life's endeavors?

On an autumn walk at the ides of day
I saw birds of a feather fly together away.
As they flew over flames
In an ides-of-day way
They got caught in the weather
And so forever became
The tall twisted tale
That we hear of so much:
Two birds with one hailstone,
Death from maelstrom above.

On an autumn walk at the ides of day
I saw birds of a feather fly together away.
As they flew over flames
In an ides-of-day way
They got caught in the weather
And so forever became
The tall twisted tale
That we hear of so much:
Two birds with one hailstone,
Death from maelstrom above.

"...Love is more like war than a rose.
They are both deceptively beautiful,
But love spills more than just
One drop of blood when it gets mishandled.
And unlike a flower, love is resilient.
It takes more than a few ****** battles
Fought deep in muddy trenches
To break the bond between two soldiers.
Against all odds, love finds ways to survive
Even the most disparaging circumstances..."

I like letters better
When they're rearranged
Into your name

Enamorándome de ti
Fue el mejor momento de mi vida
Mejor que cuando nací
Ahora mi alma esta perdida

Eres una suave brisa cálida
¿Quien no te amaria?
Mi vida siempre sera fria
Sin Maria

Estoy aqui ahora
Mi corazón esta roto
Te ves tan increible
A mi lado en esta foto

Mis recuerdos de ti
Arderá brillante
Me enamoré de ti demasiado rápido
Lo siento
|
|
Falling for You
It was the best time of my life
Better than when I was born
Now my soul is lost

You are a gentle warm breeze
Who wouldn't love you?
My life will always be cold
Without Maria

I'm here now
My heart is broken
You look so amazing
Next to me in this photo

My memories of you
Will burn bright
I fell in love with you too fast
I'm sorry

I've been sitting here
Beneath the embers
Of the streetlamp
Waiting for you
In plain sight

But you never walk down
My shanty block.

I'm convinced my generation is nothing but a bunch of sheep...where are our future leaders? I don't want to keep living in a world where we are expected to go with the flow, to never stand out, and to adopt the same opinions as the masses or else be labeled a racist, a bigot, deplorable, or any other name in the book.

Another disheartening fact: my future children are going to be taught and influenced by educators who think safe spaces are good ideas, who think social justice warriors, celebrities, and clueless athletes fit the mold of a hero more than the disabled vets at the VA, and who find ridiculing people for their race, gender, ****** orientation, etc appalling, but having a religion and/or different political beliefs than them are grounds to be mocked...

God forbid someone says they don't buy into big pharma and their vaccines..."anti-vaxxers are the **** of the earth! All children need to be vaccinated!" But speak out against abortion, which kills more children than any disease we have vaccines for or not..."you're anti-women! How dare you tell a woman what she can do with her body! How archaic of you!"...save the children or **** them? Which one is it? Will the hypocrisy from my generation ever end?

I just threw out basic examples, but if you look at social media for 5 minutes and possess a brain I'm sure you'll see other instances of people with differing opinions being belittled by a group my peers. Another portion of them will blindly follow and agree without a leg to stand on. And an even smaller portion will actually stand up against the hate speech they themselves claim to despise.

Agree or disagree, this rant has been brought to you by a man who thinks for himself and doesn't really give a rat's *** if you agree or not.

You had a mind like a diamond

And eyes like the ocean,

Where even the most seasoned sailor

Could get lost.

Why did your waters wane?

Will you or I ever be the same?

What happened to your ocean eyes,

The ebb and flow of moonlit tides

That danced with me along the shore

But now are suddenly no more?

You're the first person I think about when I wake up from my dreams.

Like the sun warms the earth, you warm my skin.

Like the birds sing to the waking world, your tired voice tugs a string in my heart that makes me smile.

Like the smell of freshly baked bread, you're the pleasant aroma that makes my mouth water and leaves me wanting more of you.

Like the color of the sky at dawn, you make me glad that God made you so beautiful, without flaw.

You're my sanity.
You're my saving grace.
You're my answer.
You're my angel.
You're my reason.
You're my revival.
You're my best friend.
You're my better half.

*You're so much more than the woman of my dreams.

When I wither in times of drought
And my roots become weak,
When my petals wander and blow
From even the slightest breeze
Water me.

When I shiver in times of winter
And my bones become fragile,
When my skin goes numb and I break
From even the gentlest touch
Warm me.

When I can't walk in times of travel
And my feet become ash,
When my human frame crumbles away
From even the minutest weight
Deliver me.

When I breathe in times of pain
And my chest becomes still,
When my burden is heavy and dark
From a life lived in shadows
Illuminate me.